


The Politics Of Passion

by Zeds_Dead_Reader (Zeds_Dead)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Blackmail, Boredom, Dark Past, Eventual Happy Ending, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Kidnapping, Loud Sex, Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Military, OCD, Oral Sex, Past Torture, Politics, Recreational Drug Use, Repressed Memories, Resolved Sexual Tension, Secret Relationship, Sexual Frustration, Shower Sex, Strained Relationships, Therapy, Threats, Training, Violence, erotic asphyxiation, reckless behaviour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-05-28 08:45:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 172,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6322690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeds_Dead/pseuds/Zeds_Dead_Reader
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being the daughter of a prominent diplomat meant that you were constantly under scrutiny; from the flow of stuffy, important people that you had to meet to the ever present security detail that followed in your wake. The reason for the protection was always keeping a watchful eye too and you understood that your position meant you were a desirable target.</p><p>Your days were filled with receiving guests, attending dinners and remaining prim and proper at all times. It was suffocating, even if you did have a lovely man by your side to slightly alleviate the boredom. But it was becoming clear that wasn't enough, your inner personality begging to be let out.</p><p>Craving excitement, you began to push yourself into situations that were considered unacceptable for someone like you, unlady-like and reckless by your family's standards. All the while, sometimes unknowingly, assisted by someone with an intriguing dark mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. High Society

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted under my other deleted account, I'm moving everything over here now, taking my works with me.
> 
> Please note - these are 100% mine, if you have read this work before, it would have been on my other username. I have not stolen this. 
> 
> I'd forgotten how fucking long these chapters were so will be slow going moving this by my standards...

Yet again you were sat in front of the large mirror, the woman who you considered a strong friend as well as a member of staff fussing around you, sorting your hair and touching up your make up. There would be another of your father's grand dinners this evening and you had to look your best, be put on display once more. The dress you wore was intricate and uncomfortable, a sensible length with sleeves to your elbows, neck high so as not to show anything below your collar bones. Sequins and lace combined in a maze of patterns, the dark fabric shimmering with every breath. A necklace was placed around you from behind and with a tut it was removed, another coming into view quickly.

"Hange, I can dress myself you know." The woman huffed and carefully clasped the delicate diamond item in place. 

"I'm aware of that, (F/N), but let me have a purpose in life, yea?" You smiled at her reflection and she frowned, sorting out some errant strands of your hair before standing back, meeting your gaze in the shiny surface. "There. He won't be able to keep his hands off you tonight. About time you did the deed." Her suggestive expression made you scowl, throwing an arm round to slap at her. 

"Who says we haven't already?" Playful eyes met yours as you turned to face the woman and she placed a hand on her hip, emanating your mother when she had still been alive. 

"Because he told me, (F/N)." Dammit. What was he doing telling her shit like that for?

You'd been dating for nearly three months and he was nothing but a gentleman, courting you the proper way and not even attempting to suggest anything lewd. It was sweet if a little tiresome; you were a grown woman who lost her virginity long ago, not some fragile little flower who couldn't handle a man's touch. But, he was being correct and didn't want to risk your father's wrath, being that the man was responsible for your relationship.

Making your way down from the second floor, half of which was entirely yours, you carefully tackled the immense marble staircase with sensible steps, aware of the set of shoes behind you. Being that there would be nearly a hundred guests tonight, security was tight and your detail for the evening was following a few paces behind, electronic earpiece telling him everything he needed to know. You didn't recognise this one, not your usual, but it wasn't surprising. Extra help had been called in due to the amount of high profile attendees.

The house you lived in was vast, a show of money and superiority that came with your family's history, a veritable who's who of the political world and elite aristocracy, along with prolific members of the military. It was situated in a foreign country, your original homeland miles and miles away, but you barely remembered it. The job your father held meant lots of travel and it was quite a treat to have been stationed here for the past three years, giving you some kind of stability. All the staff were from your place of birth, giving a sort of semblance of being back home.

Your upbringing had been strict and intense, educated to a high level, fluent in five languages and you possessed the finest etiquette skills. It was becoming harder to maintain the exterior, though and in recent years you'd let the facade slip on a few occasions. In order to escape the drudgery of this kind of existence, you found yourself seeking thrills more often. Anything you did wouldn't be considered extraordinary by a layperson, just normal life. Things like drinking in a bar, attending concerts in small, sweaty venues and meeting new people in the nearby town. Which is where you should be tonight. A band was playing and you desperately wanted to go, but this banquet clashed brutally with your plans. You'd found a flier announcing the event in amongst your mail the other day and planned on sneaking out as usual, but you hadn't realised the day it fell on. It made you feel like a teen, not a woman who wasn't that far off 30.

Cursing your bad luck, you walked perfectly across the hall to meet your father, a kind looking man who was loving but also married to his job. It wasn't surprising, he had a demanding role, keeping the peace and maintaining a cordial relationship with everyone around. Whilst tonight was called a dinner party, it was far more than that. The amount of politicians and heads of state that were invited meant it was a golden opportunity to network, bring people together and discuss how to solve the problems of the world, all over nibbles, wine and rich food.

He smiled and held his arm out for you, nodding at the man behind you in the dark suit. Taking the offered limb delicately, you breathed deeply, ready to face the evening. As the doors were opened by waiters, all eyes turned to watch the two of you enter, casting their gazes over tonight's hosts. The conversation didn't abate, but it changed slightly and you heard snippets - women discussing your dress, men commending your father's choice of menu. But you were oblivious. Your stomach jumped as you saw the man in front of you, his smile warm and light brown eyes flashing at you from beneath his similarly coloured hair. Pride swelled in your chest as you glanced at his uniform, medals hanging in lines of gleaming metal.

He had recently been promoted to the rank of major in the army of this country, having returned from combat overseas victorious. The conflict was ongoing, but the amount of headway and land retaken by his command was monumental. He planned to enter service again, but for now he was posted at home, training and selecting new recruits and honing the most elite to become effective and intelligent fighting machines. A natural leader, he had caught your father's attention and it quickly resulted in a blind date between the two of you. The language barrier was no issue, as he had been educated well, his family wealth similar to yours and you spoke each other's native tongue. Often, you would hold conversations in both languages, switching from one to the other seamlessly, confusing those around. It made it your own little thing though and you liked having something unique.

A hand was offered and you placed yours in his, a small kiss left on your knuckles. "Evening, (F/N). You look amazing." His eyes lit up once more and you giggled quietly. 

"Thanks Jean, not looking too bad yourself." It was odd. In here, in front of everyone, it was kept formal and official, but when left alone you were playful with one another, sharing stories and jokes, laughing light heartedly. But you knew how it went, you had to keep up appearances. Leading you away with a gentle grip, he nodded to those he knew, as did you and a few comments were offered, mainly around how both of you looked. The materialistic views of some of those gathered was infuriating, but you kept quiet.

Not before long, the meal began and you sat in between Jean and your father, eating delicately and sipping at your drink. In reality, you wanted to gulp it down to dull the pain of the evening, but that could come later, once you were left alone. Conversation was light, the important stuff yet to occur and you glanced around. Security men lined the room in dark suits, trying to be inconspicuous and a few members of the media were allowed in to take pictures for tomorrow's news, show the world how their leaders could play nice. It was all a farce though, as you knew there would be arguments in the adjoining drawing room later.

Anyone who was not involved in the political debate would remain in here, people such as spouses, offspring, plus ones. That included you. Your father had given up long ago at trying to get you involved and would be taking Jean in instead, moulding him into the next big thing, no doubt. It didn't interest you in the slightest, you had wanted a career in science as it was your favourite and highest scoring subject in education. Something like a criminal pathologist, carrying out autopsies and tests to determine cause of death and catching murderers. But all the moving around made it impossible to commit to any kind of internship, until now.

It might have seemed that you were selfish, living off your family's money, not bothering to make anything of yourself. In all honesty, if you were to leave now and follow your dream, that would be the most selfish move you could make. One of the main reasons for the change to a more permanent position here was your father's inability to cope with the death of your mother, which had happened just before the decision was made to come here. Even now, three years on and he was still fragile, clinging on to you as his only surviving relative like it was the one thing keeping him alive. Often you spent quiet evenings together, chatting and reminiscing about her or playing chess. You had never beaten him, not once and you probably never would, even when he was drunk. However the nights started, it would usually end up in his tears and you shouldered his burden with the determination to be strong. And that was why you stayed here despite your angst at being cooped up and shielded from the world.

To pass the time, you usually helped out around the place. You'd always done your own cleaning, laundry, cooking when you could and enjoyed spending hours with the members of staff who were friends to you, not servants. The chef had taught you some amazing recipes and techniques and you assisted the gardener with the topiary and vegetable patch, not in the least afraid to get messy. It kept you sane and grounded and the people you had met were interesting and friendly. And then there was Hange. A crazy, over bearing woman that you loved dearly. She had been with your family for seven years and you saw her as a sister, maybe now a mother figure. Not that she was much older than you, but she acted in such a protective fashion that she took the role on herself.

The dinner was over and you heard a soft voice in your ear. "Don't wait up, (F/N)." You knew your father would be in that room for hours and you smiled at his tired tone, giving his hand a squeeze. 

"Oh I'll be in bed in about, let's see, half an hour?" He knew of your dislike of these things and also was well aware of why you still lived with him. He wouldn't complain or tell you so, he'd miss you dearly if you left. Jean then spoke up from your other side. 

"See you tomorrow, yea?" He gave you a chaste kiss on the cheek and you patted his arm. 

"Sure. Don't let them bully you, Jean." It was his first time and you were acutely mindful of how heated it could get. He was unfazed and shot you a wink. 

"I can hold my own, (F/N)." They stood to leave and as the shuffle of chairs sounded out, you shot up.

Taking advantage of the sudden crowds, you slipped expertly through them, hearing the string quartet begin to play and made your way to the ornate wooden door. Pushing through, you strode down the deserted hallway with purpose and opened the white, swinging door that led to the kitchens. It was a flurry of activity, plates being stacked in industrial sized dishwashers and sweet treats being prepped for later in the evening. You fully intended on not being around for their unveiling, planning instead on grabbing a bottle of wine from in here and retreating upstairs. Many faces looked up and you waved at those few you knew, presuming agency workers had been called in to assist with the scale of the affair tonight. The chef caught your eye and smiled knowingly, aware of where you were going. He was ex-army, as were a lot of the kitchen staff and you found it amusing how serving hundreds in a tent in a desert could be turned into supplying fine dining for stuck up humans.

Giving him a quick salute, you hurried out the back door into the warm evening air, quickly shuffling around for the hidden package that laid beneath a series of well positioned rocks. With expert movements you rolled the perfect cigarette, lighting it and breathing in the deliciously soothing nicotine. "Naughty." The voice didn't startle you, in fact you'd expected it and threw the box to him. This wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last that you shared a smoke. Tossing over the lighter, he caught it and sparked up, speaking once more with sarcasm as he exhaled. "What would people say if they saw you right now?" Not caring, you turned to face the man by your side, delivering your response. 

"Fuck off, Levi. I'm trying to relax."

He was assigned as your personal security detail and had joined just before you moved here. You knew little about him, only that he was as smug as he was strong and distinctly annoying, having a knack of knowing when you were up to no good. The fact that you had seen him in action, along with how the head of security had recommended him made you accept his irritating presence. The first time you saw his skills was not long after you made this your home and some fanatic had approached, full of hope and ideas that they could speak to your father and bring about world peace together. You'd been pottering about in the garden and wanting to avoid any kind of Mark Chapman situation, Levi had been there in a flash, taking the man out with one decisive move. He didn't call for back up or draw his fire arm and his small stature certainly did not mean he was weak. So, yea, you trusted him with your life.

"Don't fucking talk to me like that, (F/N). Such a shitty mouth." Scowling, you shook your head at the hypocrisy. He was the only one who got away with speaking to you in that manner, anyone else would have been reprimanded by your father, or Jean, but for some reason, Levi was allowed. It was just who he was. You didn't care, it was nice not to be molly coddled, refreshing to have someone who didn't walk on egg shells around you. But all the same, he grated on you at times and mostly you just bickered. Sticking up your middle finger, you let him know what you thought of his outburst and continued with your smoke.

"Tch." It was his standard response to anything he no longer wished to discuss, or wouldn't grace with a response and you changed subject. 

"Didn't think you were here today." It wasn't a question, more of a statement and you watched as he stubbed his cigarette out on the wall with a small sigh of boredom. 

"I obviously am, so that's a great fucking conversation piece, (F/N). Anyway," he said, gazing around with disgust. "I've got to go stand in a room full of fat fucks who want to get into an argument." His black hair and equally dark mood swept away and you started to sort yourself out. Perfume was pulled from the package, along with mouth spray and having sufficiently masked the odour of smoke, you made your way back into the waiting crowd.

One of the first faces you saw was a kind one and you rushed over, his smile warm and inviting. He was well respected, one of your home country's sharpest minds, and despite the fact that he was retired, he still attended these gatherings. A lot of that was to do with how he and your father were good friends, but also because when it came to political debates, he was an expert. Giving him a strong hug, you didn't care if anyone thought it crass and grinned as he squeezed back. Leaning away, his golden eyes gleamed and the gentle smile on his lips extended all the way across his wrinkled features.

"I thought you'd be in there, sipping brandy and setting people straight, Dot?" He laughed, a warm sound and patted your shoulder. 

"Couldn't go in without seeing my beauty of a niece, could I?" You weren't blood related, but he was in your life so much growing up that he was the closest thing you had to an uncle. He knew you had little time for these gatherings and when you were younger he used to pass you his hip flask to make it more bearable. 

"You're a charmer, that's for sure. Good to see you again." Leaving him with another embrace, you watched as he walked off rather unsteadily to the drawing room, giving you a glimpse of the inside as he opened the door. It seemed good natured for now and Jean looked around and caught your eye, sending another wink your way, giving you goosebumps.

An hour later and you had become totally fatigued with the small talk, the comments on your dress, new man and of course, how these people were blessed to have been invited. It was all false, smiles plastered on and you could see that they were here purely for status. Making an excuse, you slipped back out to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle and a glass, no one stopping you. Going a different route, you made your way up from the ground floor via a side stair well, one hidden from the main entrance hall that also had an external door. Passing the first level which housed the living quarters of most of the staff, you continued and reached your floor. This wing was yours, bedroom, adjoining bathroom and study. The rest of this level was guest accommodation, four rooms for anyone staying over. Above was where your father's area was, including that of the live-in security. Only the ground floor was a communal space, the public face of the house.

Shutting the door, you sighed and placed your items down, kicked off the uncomfortable high heels and made a strange movement to reach the zip of your dress. Target acquired, you pulled it down and let the garment fall to the floor. Once you had removed your jewellery and underwear, you went to wash the make up from your face and shuffled back through to find your pyjamas. Sitting on the window seat, you stared out as you gulped at the wine, packet of cigarettes nearby. Before you could light one, a knock sounded at the door and the person on the other side didn't wait for an answer, just came in.

"Hange, I might have had company!" She rolled her eyes, own glass and bottle in hand, knowing full well what you would be doing. 

"Don't be silly, (F/N). I only heard one set of shoes up here. What happened?" She settled herself beside you, looking sad at the fact you had returned alone. Sighing, you raised your drink and knocked it back. 

"Dad's got his claws into Jean. They'll be in that room all night. So no fun for me, in other words." Rubbing your leg in sympathy, your friend smiled lightly. 

"I'm sure it won't be long. You're going out tomorrow, right?" A lunch date had been agreed with Jean, but it wasn't exactly the alone time you would prefer. Levi would, of course, be there in the background. Almost reading your mind, Hange spoke in low tones. "Ditch the midget, go back to Jean's, sorted." Laughing, you wished it was that simple and wondered if there was ever going to be a chance to get him alone. 

"I'm going to have to sneak out, aren't I?" Serious eyes met yours, and the older woman frowned. 

"No, (F/N). You know I hate it when you do that. It's not safe. Just bring him up here when it's quiet, don't let him leave until he behaves like a real man." Quiet. That sort of thing didn't happen often around here and you began to think you'd be celibate for the rest of your life.

~~~~~~

The next morning arrived, sunny and bright and you set about getting ready. You selected some blue jeans and a light top for today, wanting to keep casual and applied a small amount of makeup. Satisfied with your appearance, you rushed downstairs for breakfast. Sunday mornings always signalled a hearty selection, the chef not allowing you to come in and cook it yourself like you usually would. As much as you might have eaten like a lady last night, this was no time to hold back and you dug into the hot food on your plate with enthusiasm, sitting in the smaller dining room with your father. Some of the staff were here too, chatting and mingling, own breakfasts attacked with similar gusto.

Aware of a gaze, you glanced up, mouth full. Grey eyes stared into yours and a sneer was on the lips of your security man. Levi had no food, just a cup of what you knew would be tea and he flicked his eyes down to your chin, looking like he was about to explode. Picking up a napkin, you quickly wiped what you presumed was sauce from your face and smiled. All you got in response was a roll of the eyes and you turned back to the plate as your father spoke. "You meeting Jean today, yes?" Nodding, you made sure to finish chewing before answering. 

"Yea we're going for lunch, be nice to spend some time together. How did he get on last night?" Your dad smiled and sipped his coffee. 

"He's good. Very persuasive, a pure heart."

Smiling, you leant over to pick up the newspaper that had been left half read on the table, folded midway through with an advert shining out. In two weeks time, there would be an event at an old abandoned castle, music, dancing and drinking. Some DJ's would be providing the entertainment and apparently the place was supposed to be haunted. Your eyes lit up and you memorized the details, planning on sending a text to the friend you had made a year ago at a gig. She'd be well up for this, you thought and wondered if Jean would want to come too. Finishing off your food, you said bye to those gathered and took the plate out to the kitchen and carried on upstairs. Fishing out your phone from the nightstand, you sent a message to your friend, telling her the time and place. Not waiting for a response, you walked back out and down to help clear up the dishes and cups.

~~~~~

Strolling along, you had totally blocked out the man in the white shirt and dark jeans behind and walked hand in hand with Jean. Somehow, despite your massive breakfast, you had managed to demolish lunch too and you twined your fingers into your boyfriend's, swinging your arm and enjoying the warm summer sun. People milled about, lazily shopping and drinking in the heat, some laying back and tanning themselves on the grass square that sat in the middle of the town. It was serene and you smiled up into brown eyes, thoroughly content. "Shall we go back to the house, watch that film?" Sunday afternoons should be languid and you felt distinctly tired now that your belly was full. 

"Sounds lovely, (F/N)."

As you walked up the gravel driveway, you saw the staff lounging around, as this was pretty much everyone's day of rest. Obviously, some work needed to be done, but for the most part it was a calm affair. Hange was sitting sipping at a drink, feet up on a sun lounger, large hat flopping over her face. She grinned over as you walked past, a look of mischief that you chose to ignore and finally you were aware of Levi leaving you in peace, strutting off somewhere, probably to hide from the sun. How else would he have that almost vampiric appearance, his pale skin suggesting he never tanned. Ever.

In the main entrance hall stood your father and his personal bodyguard, a huge blonde giant of a man who was also the head of security. "Afternoon, (F/N), Jean," he said with a friendly smile. Your boyfriend nodded and you waved over. 

"Hi Erwin, going out?" Your dad answered you, gesturing to the bag in his hand. 

"I want to visit the art shop, see what the man makes of this piece. It needs repairs and what better day to do it?" It was a lovely afternoon, granted, but you always felt nervous when he went out. You gave Erwin a serious look and pointed over. 

"Take care of him, ok?" A strong nod met your request and you said your farewells, making your way upstairs.

The film was one you had wanted to watch for a while, but as you snuggled up on the small sofa that you had in your room, your mind was on anything but the television. Shifting, you sat up a bit and placed a kiss on Jean's lips, gently moving and trying to deepen it. He leant back and looked down into your (e/c) eyes, saw the lust within and you trailed your touch down his chest, feeling the muscles beneath his white t-shirt. "Everyone's out." Your whispered words meant much more than what they were and you moved further down. Before you could reach his belt, your hand was taken and placed on your knee. Frowning, you glared up at his brown eyes, waiting for an explanation.

"It wouldn't be right, (F/N). I don't want your father to think I'm taking advantage." Rolling your eyes, you sat up and crossed your arms, outright sulking. 

"Jean, I'm a grown woman, I'm not drunk, I am fully aware of what I want to do, so how is it taking fucking advantage?" He winced and shook his head. 

"Don't curse, it's not nice." You gaped, but expected nothing less and stood to fetch your cigarettes. He knew you smoked but didn't like it and right now you were doing it to spite him. At the open window, you sat and breathed in deeply, aware of his eyes on you. His self-righteous eyes. Any feeling you had for him last night was dampened by the annoyance you now held and you stared outside.

Your room mainly faced the back of the grounds and you saw the nearby large outbuilding that housed the gym, mostly used only by the security staff. Watching closely, you saw Levi stride out and he stopped. Turning, he looked up and met your gaze, towel in hand and you saw him smirk. He started to walk towards the house again and in a gesture that matched yours from before, he stuck his finger up at you. Huffing, you crushed out your cigarette and sat back on the sofa, heavily flopping down. "You shouldn't smoke, (F/N). And you shouldn't stand so close to the windows, you never know who's out there." He was being protective, but right now you still found him aggravating and just stared at the screen.

You remembered the newspaper from this morning, and turned to the guy at your side. "There's a party in the castle in two weeks. Fancy coming?" Even if your advances had been knocked back and you had been scolded like a child, you still liked this man and wanted to spend time with him. Although not in a fortnight, it would seem. The look on his face was one of disdain and he spoke incredulously. 

"You want me to go to a rave? Me?" He pointed at his chest, disbelief at how anyone of his standing could possibly go somewhere like that. "And you shouldn't go either. What if someone recognised you? It could ruin your father." You doubted it would, but it was interesting he was more worried about appearances than your safety.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in silence and not long after the film finished, Jean had left, giving you a small kiss and a winning smile. It was hard not to reciprocate and you grinned despite yourself. Within seconds of him leaving, you were by the window, cigarette in hand and from round the corner you saw him walking importantly down the drive. Hange jumped up and scurried inside, hat flapping as she went and it wasn't long before she was bursting in again. "Ok what happened? Tell me everything!" You sighed and shook your head. 

"Apparently it would have been taking advantage. I feel like such a fucking idiot."

She sat with you on the window seat and gathered you up into a hug. "He's only being nice, (F/N). Not many gentlemen left in this world, try not to take it as rejection, more of a nice gesture." Squeezing back, you grumbled into her hair, the embrace making her glasses tilt against your head. 

"Nice is all very well and good, but I have needs, you know." Hange laughed and rubbed soothing circles on your back. 

"Yea I know, I know only too well. Hey, listen," she said, pulling back and letting you continue to drag on your smoke. "Why don't you stop thinking about it, hmm? Or maybe, don't force the issue, but let him see what he's missing? A different scent on your neck, lower cut tops, those tight jeans that make your ass look like a peach?" Now you laughed, loving how her solution was to drive the man insane with seductive clothing.

"I don't think that would work. Dad's hardly going to let me walk around in a boob tube is he?" She waved your dismissal away and carried on. 

"No, be subtle. Make your eyes stand out more, bit of lip gloss to accentuate that pout. Be smooth, (F/N), don't throw yourself at him." Now you felt like a horny fool, trying to seduce someone but failing miserably, and you sighed again. 

"Why am I trying so hard, Hange? Can't I just be happy with the way it is?" She shook her head vehemently, pointing at you to rid your mind of any loathing. 

"No, you're adults, that's what happens. Usually. Hang on."

The woman stuck her head out the window, looking for prey. "Hey short stuff? Get up here. We need a man's perspective." You slapped her on the arm and pulled her back in with a shout. 

"Hange!" Outside, Levi stood staring up and just shook his head as he prowled away to god knows where, ignoring the request. There was no way in hell he was going to put himself in that position willingly. But he did wonder what the subject of conversation was and what might have happened with that pompous military jock that was currently dating you. With no good reason why, he secretly hoped there were problems in the relationship. Coming to his senses, he tried to ignore it and pushed his stupid thoughts away, concentrating instead on yet another work out. But he couldn't shake the idea of you and that man breaking up and he let out his frustration at himself on the punching bag.


	2. Progress

Walking down the busy streets, you linked your arm with your shopping buddy for the day. The party was next Friday and you wanted to get a new top for the occasion. That, and shopping with Hange was always fun. Pointing in windows at totally hideous clothes, you laughed and joked your way through town, stopping at one more interesting store. "Is this the last fucking one?" The grumble from behind made you smile and also made you want to carry on for hours. 

"Dunno Levi. Why don't you try to enjoy yourself? Treat yourself to something pretty?" Without turning, you could feel the glare on the back of your head as you entered the premises, Hange's laughter in your ears.

After about twenty minutes of trying an array of things on, just to prolong the day, you chose one and paid. Hange had bags full for herself also, planning on a total wardrobe overhaul. "Want to get a drink (F/N)?" she suggested, earning herself a tut. "Come on Levi, you can join us. We're not that bad, surely?" He just scowled and you decided on a nearby bar, sitting outside in the late afternoon sun. The woman went in to get the drinks and you lit a cigarette, passing the packet to the sullen man by your side who leant back to keep in the shadow of the parasol. You sat in silence for a moment, watching the world go by, people laughing and having fun, others striding around with purpose. It was nice to get out and about again, the last time you had been in town was on your lunch date with Jean on Sunday. In fact, that had been the last time you saw him too, keeping in contact by phone instead as he was busy with a new batch of recruits. It was only Thursday, granted, but you had begun to miss him despite the small row that ensued.

"So, what are you doing with your day off tomorrow?" The dark haired man said nothing at first. You'd always wondered what he did on Fridays and you were positive you weren't about to find out. Sure enough, his response was as curt and dismissive as you expected. 

"Mind your own fucking business." Laughing, you shook your head, glancing over at his stance, the crossed leg telling you with body language that he was not in the mood for talking. He rarely was, but sometimes you at least got something out of him.

"Fair enough, Levi. Well, in the interest of pleasant conversation, I will be taking fencing lessons for some stupid fucking reason. I mean, why? What am I going to do with that?" Finally his steely glare met your gaze, face emotionless but eyes burning. 

"Oh don't you have it so fucking bad, (F/N)? Imagine that, your rich father paying for you to learn a new skill. How shocking." The sarcasm dripped from his mouth and although you knew what he was like, it bothered you as to why he was being so scathing today. Staring, you were unable to form a response, so he continued. "What are you glaring at? You constipated or something?" With a scowl, you pointed your lit cigarette across to him. 

"Stop being a fucking cry baby. Lighten up, you're unbearable, you know that?"

He wasn't allowed to reply as a cheery Hange set three glasses of red wine down, spilling a drop from one. With swift movements, Levi pulled out a tissue and dabbed it away, disposing of the dirtied item in the small bin that sat close by. "You should get a job with the house staff. I bet you'd look great with a feather duster." The full force of his wrath turned on the woman who had caused the mess and spat his words. 

"I'd do a fucking better job than the rest of them, place is a shitty mess. Like you. What the fuck are you even wearing?" She raised her eyebrows and looked over to you as she sat down. 

"Jeez, what's gotten into shorty's boxers today? Reel it in." He leant back again, sipping at his drink the same strange way he did with tea and stared off into the distance.

By the time you had reached home, the seething ball of anger that followed you was ready to snap and he marched upstairs behind you both, casting his eye over your ass despite his furious mood. Reaching the second floor, the two women waved and called after him as he ascended, over enthusiastically bidding him farewell. Once in your room, both of you flopped down on the sofa, thoroughly exhausted. "What's his problem, (F/N)?" Not sure why you would be the one in the know, you shrugged. 

"How should I have the first idea?" With a weary sigh, Hange slipped off her shoes and stretched out as she spoke. 

"He speaks to you more than anyone else. Most of the staff haven't ever said a single word to him." You realised you didn't actually care, he could have his hissy fit if he wanted. Right now you were more concerned about food.

~~~~~~

"No, no, no, that's a parry! Ok, start again. In position." The gentle looking man who was teaching you had become a bit flustered and pulled his protective mask back to reveal his flushed face that was covered in freckles. He looked incapable of a harsh word, but his patience was obviously thinning as you matched his gesture, raising the mesh helmet and poking the small foil repeatedly into the wooden floor. The dining room had been cleared and was currently being used for your fencing lesson. 

"Marco, I have no idea what I'm doing," you huffed. "Wouldn't I be better off learning self defence or something?" He looked hurt and sighed. 

"Maybe, but this is an art. A way of focussing your mind. It's not just uncouth brawling. Give it another try?" The small smile on his lips was so well meaning and you couldn't deny him. 

"Alright, I'll concentrate. En garde!" He laughed at your declaration to fight and started arranging your limbs correctly, one arm behind, one in front and feet in the proper stance.

An hour later and you were finished, having come on leaps and bounds. Marco looked pleased and he nodded as you passed him the gear to be packed away. "Much better, (F/N). See you next week?" Nodding, you smiled and helped him tidy up, your hair a mass of fuzz from being stuck inside the helmet in this heat. As you left, you opened the door to be met by a figure standing in your way. Poking him in the back with a finger, right between the shoulder blades, you grinned and watched as he slowly turned. 

"What are you doing here? It's Friday?" Levi ran his gaze over the frizzy mess that was your hair, your pink cheeks and shiny face, thinking how bright your eyes looked after some exercise.

"Had nothing better to do. And anyway, by the sounds of it, I turned up at the right fucking minute." You frowned and blew some strands from your face.

"What do you mean?" He smirked and tilted his head, a huge change in his demeanour from yesterday. 

"You said you wanted to learn self defence, right?" For a minute you were taken aback. That had been said over an hour ago. Was he out there all this time? Listening to you get chided and hearing your cries of exertion? Pushing that aside, you replied. 

"Yea and what?"

He looked down, smugness radiating from his being. "You really are fucking stupid, despite your education, aren't you? I'll teach you." You crossed your arms and frowned, trying to figure out what he was after. 

"Why? What do you want?" The smirk increased and he motioned with his head for you to follow. 

"Like I said, nothing better to do. And if you learn how to fucking fight, then maybe I won't have to trail around shops with you any more. Your old man agrees it's a good idea." The other reason, which he wouldn't ever tell you, was that it meant he could spend more time with you, even if it was sparring. It might actually be some fun.

The realisation hit and you stopped, making him turn with questioning eyes. "What, now?" you asked. "After I just did all of that?" Pointing back at the door, you emphasised that you had just been through an hour's worth of physical exercise. 

"Tch. That was just a warm up. Now comes the real work out." Mouth open, you trailed along nonetheless, it could be interesting. Certainly better than fencing, anyway. As you reached the side entrance, he paused and pointed up the staircase. "Get showered and changed first. You fucking stink." He had a fair point and you stormed up, unaware of the eyes on you.

Once clean, you tied back your wet hair and pulled on some new clothes, a vest and some gym shorts, socks and trainers and opened the door. Yet again, a body was in the way, standing with his hands behind his back like he was holding a guard position. Levi had changed too, black tshirt and sweats in place. He turned and looked down at you. With a nod, he seemed to approve of your gear and led you away to the gym block. There was no one else in here that you could see, just the hum of electric lights that sprang into life when the door opened. It also set off the air conditioning and cool drafts blew over your skin, sending shivers due to your damp hair.

He walked over to another entrance and opened up, letting you go in first. It was a small room with padded floors and a large window and you wondered with concern if you were going to need the soft landing. Levi bent and took his trainers off and looked over, suggesting you do the same. "Believe me, it hurts a lot more to be kicked by a shoe than a fucking foot." Complying, you slightly fearfully asked a question. 

"Are you going to kick me?" The man stood and rolled his eyes. 

"Well we're not here to fucking tickle each other." Feeling a bit nervous at whole thing, you straightened up and waited for a command. "I'm going to hit you. Stop me." A blur of black hair flew towards you and instinctively you raised your arms and squeezed your eyes shut against the inevitable. It didn't come, so you slowly peeked out from one eye to see a bored face inches away. "You have to be able to see if you're going to defend yourself, you fucking brat." He flicked you in the forehead and you jumped, flinching at the touch. Levi pinched his nose and grumbled. "Fuck me. This is going to be hard."

After two hours you were destroyed, a panting, sweaty mess that crouched on the floor, gasping for breath. Levi, however, was flawless. No one would have known he had just spent 120 minutes throwing you around and showing you block after block. You'd made progress though, no longer screwing your eyes shut and had learnt some impressive moves. Now you just had to get good at them. Holding a weak arm up, you waved for assistance and a strong hand pulled you to your feet. "Not bad for a first try, (F/N). Fucking sloppy, but we'll get there."

You swallowed, a dry click sounding out. Your teacher beckoned and led you out to the main area to get some water. He also grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and placed it on your shoulder, making you wince. "Keep that on for a bit." He felt a bit bad for causing you harm, but there was no other way to do it. Hopefully the ice would prevent any bad bruising and he watched as you held the pack down whilst swigging liquid back hungrily with the other hand, the beads of sweat around your clavicle glistening. Levi turned to try and keep his mind from wandering, messing with some gloves that had been left out of place, putting them correctly away as he mumbled over. "When do you want your next lesson?"

You nearly spat the water out and stared over. "I ache all over, Levi. Maybe in a fucking month?" He tutted and met your gaze. 

"You need the skills to back up your smart mouth, princess. Monday." That gave you two days to try and rest up, but the annoying fact was that another dinner was due tomorrow made you groan. "Sunday then, if you're going to be so precious." You waved a hand and explained. 

"No not that, Levi. Fucking stupid dinner tomorrow." He frowned. It was something he was trying to forget about. The event would be much smaller than Saturday's, but that was the problem. It was something of an intimate affair, one he would be working the grounds for thankfully as he had no desire to watch you and that army piece of shit.

~~~~~~

Everything hurt and as Hange helped you into your dress, she scowled. "Why did you agree to train with that moody bastard? Looks like he's taken his frustrations out on you, look!" She was pointing at your shoulder, the ice having had no effect. An angry purple spray sat there, a reminder of when you incorrectly blocked a kick. 

"It's ok, I need to learn. And it's good to keep in shape, I guess." The woman wasn't happy, but left it alone, zipping up the silky cream number that clung to your curves. Smoothing it down, she looked you over with a smile. 

"Good to go, (F/N). Go get 'em." Slapping your ass on your way out, she shot a look across and you grinned.

Entering the main dining room, you saw how there was only a small table in the corner, trying to make it more homely as there were only five of you in attendance. The four men all stood as you approached, more casual clothes in place than last time. Jean wore a dark blue shirt and suit trousers and he positively beamed from ear to ear at the sight of you. Taking your hand, he flashed his smile and once more you forgot all about the altercation of last week, melting your stony facade immediately with one look. Everyone sat and you listened without much interest as your father, Dot Pixis and the prime minister of this country chatted about business, Jean joining in with enthusiasm. Another dull evening that surely you didn't need to be involved in.

You tried to keep up your proper pose, eating with dainty movements and laughing lightly when someone made a dull political joke. Dot had exchanged a few glances with you, expressing his sympathy and winked once when no one was looking. Stifling a smile, you hid it behind the glass of water you sipped, not wanting to drink the wine too quickly. After what seemed like hours, everyone stood, bellies full and your father turned, a hand on each of your and Jean's shoulders. "You two go have a drink, take a walk. You don't want to be stuck with us stuffy old men." He squeezed and led the other two away to the drawing room, waiters rushing ahead to provide aperitifs and nibbles, along with cigars. Another looked at you with a nod and you saw him taking a bottle of champagne and two glasses upstairs for you. It had been intentionally set up to get the couple away from whatever was being discussed, but you didn't mind.

Jean was sulking, thoroughly pissed at being left out and you tugged at his arm. As he looked down, he forgot to hide his displeasure quickly enough and met your eyes with an evil glare. It disappeared in seconds but you saw it nonetheless and it was worrying. Trying to ignore it, you linked your arm in his and led him upstairs. As expected, the open bottle sat on ice and you closed the door and kicked off your shoes. With a smile, your boyfriend gestured for you to sit and poured the drinks. Bringing them over, he joined you on the sofa and passed one to you, holding his in a toast. "To my beautiful woman." His face was lit up, a stark contrast to the expression you saw earlier and you clinked glasses, sipping at the bubbly liquid.

You sat and chatted a while, inconsequential things like how some of his new recruits were wearing him thin with their idiocy and you regaled him with a tale of your first fencing lesson. It went quiet and the empty glass was taken from your hand and placed down gently, a pair of brown eyes meeting yours. With a racing heart, you felt his lips press onto your mouth, his hands stroking down your arms. It was a gentle embrace and he stood, taking your hand and leading you over to the bed, but not before dimming the lights. The zip on your dress was pulled down and you wiggled out of the fabric, now only in your underwear. Jean didn't break eye contact and slowly undid his shirt, shrugging it off to finally reveal his toned abdomen.

You moved to touch him, but he dealt with his trousers before you could and looked back into your gaze. "You look lovely, (F/N)." Always the gent, he gestured for you to lie down and with parted lips and quick breaths you did as you were told. He glared at your shoulder. "Your father said you were training with that creepy short guy. Did he do that?" Reaching up, you touched the bruise instinctively and became defensive. 

"He's not creepy. Anyway, it's a good thing that I learn to be stronger." Jean nodded but was angry, stowing it away for later, this wasn't the time.

You lay together just in under garments and he kissed you softly once more. Any attempt you made to deepen it was met by resistance, so you gave up, just enjoying his hand on your arm and the excitement of the moment you'd been waiting for. A few minutes passed and you thought how he was acting like this was his first time, but it couldn't be, not at his age surely. Just in case it was, you broke away and removed your bra, tossing it aside and moving on to your panties.

He just stared and you weren't sure what to do, so taking control, you pulled his boxers down, making him shuffle to rid himself of the clothing. Glancing down, you saw he was more than ready and reached across to your night stand, bringing out the small packet. Passing it over, you watched how he opened it with difficulty and you seriously thought how this man was a virgin. It put a bit of pressure on you, certainly, but it explained a lot of things. The reticence, the almost nervous behaviour, the lack of any kind of foreplay. Protection in place, he leant over and got on top of you, a few more kisses placed on your lips and he looked down, asking for permission. How oddly polite. You nodded anyway and he slowly pushed up inside of you, his head now down by your neck, breath on your skin.

Moaning slightly, you began to move your hips and felt him reciprocate, one hand on your waist and the other on your shoulder. Gripping his back tightly, you increased the pace, already getting carried away, your breath coming out in short pants. He felt good in you, if a bit haphazard, but he never raised his head once. The speed became intense, a knot unravelling in your stomach and you whispered out in the quiet room. "God Jean, I'm…" Your words were hushed with a shush and a finger on your lip. Trying to be playful, you bit at it, but he just moved away, still thrusting despite the odd occurrence. It was the point of no return and you groaned loudly, only to have Jean's hand clamp over your mouth. Regardless, you had gone too far and cried out into his palm, orgasm taking you over and filling you with both pleasure and confusion.

Shortly after, you heard a couple of small grunts from the man who was still at your neck and judging by the erratic thrusts, that was his peak. Totally baffled, you stared up as he finally came into view, face flushed and he removed his hand from your face. Gasping for breath after being gagged, you glared up. "What the fuck?" His face screwed onto a grimace and with a mechanical voice, he told you off. 

"Don't swear. And sorry. I don't like all the noises that come with sex." So, not a virgin maybe, just likes quiet. But he could have told you. 

"Please don't do that again, Jean. I couldn't breathe." He muttered an apology and rolled away, pulling the condom off and dropping it in the bin.

You watched him get dressed and stood to grab your pyjamas, a mixture of anger and surprise in your heart as he sat back on the sofa, refilled glasses in his hand. It was silent bar the sips and finally he turned to you. "I know, I should have said. But now you're aware." It wasn't really an apology, but you could see his discomfort and politeness kicked in. 

"It's ok, Jean. You want to stay the night?" He seemed to consider it briefly and made a decision. 

"I'd better not, (F/N). I'm taking the recruits on a ten mile hike through the mountains tomorrow. I need a clear head and a good sleep." He shot you a look that was intended to be seductive, but failed miserably. Smiling, you felt sure he was just nervous with the whole thing and left it alone.

Standing, he placed his half full glass down and brought you into a tight embrace. "Good night, (F/N)." Kissing your cheek, he left with a wave, leaving you in slight turmoil over what had just happened. Grabbing his glass, you poured the liquid down your throat, not wanting good champagne to go to waste and lit a cigarette. What the hell had just gone on?

Outside, grey eyes watched with anger as he saw the lights turn back up in your room and the taller man walking to his car. He drove away and Levi sent dark thoughts after the vehicle, hoping the fucker drove too fast and wrapped himself around a fucking lamp post. Looking back up, he saw your silhouette at the window, glass in one hand, smoke in the other. The way you threw the drink back suggested you weren't exactly happy and he felt slightly better.

Around ten minutes passed before Hange appeared, eyes full of concern as she saw you now drinking straight out of the bottle, painting a picture of anything other than ok. She was well aware of how uncouth you could be, and liked that you weren't a programmed machine, but this was worrying. "(F/N)?" She roused you from your thoughts and you shrugged, unsure what else to do. "Oh honey, what happened? I heard him leave, did it all go wrong?" Pointing at the sofa, you sat down together and explained the odd liaison. Her frown was immense and she just shook her head. 

"Well that's not fucking right, (F/N)! What a weirdo!" Trying to keep it light, you sighed. 

"Maybe he was just unsure, first time nerves?" Hange shook her head even more, eyes wild. 

"If that's the case, then why did he say he didn't like the noises? If he hadn't experienced it, how would he know? And anyway, all those words are half the fun!"

That was true and it made you feel even stranger, disquiet creeping over you as you took another swig, bubbles tickling at your nose. "So what now? Carry on like nothing fucked up happened?" She had no answer, just patted your leg and assured you she was here for you. Conflicted, you sat and brooded over the events of the evening and excused yourself shortly after, saying you needed to get some sleep.

~~~~~~

Dragging yourself out of bed, you glared down into the waste bin at the used condom that lay in there and you felt strangely used. Sleep hadn't made it any better and you quickly went to shower, eager to get some breakfast. It was nearly ten by the time you got to the kitchen and took what remained, sweeping into the small dining room. Only one other person occupied the space, given the time and he sipped at his tea whilst reading the paper. A hand gestured for you to join him and you sat opposite, careful to use your lady-like eating methods so as not to infuriate him.

Levi glanced over, slightly amused at how you were suddenly playing to his likes and dislikes and spoke quietly with a sanctimonious tone. "Trouble in paradise?" Glaring over, you made sure to swallow first before replying. 

"What?" He leant forward, newspaper forgotten and smirked. 

"Well, if I'm not mistaken you had a guest in your room last night. But judging by your face, it doesn't look like it was a fucking happy occasion. What's the matter? Doesn't float your boat after all?" Throwing your cutlery down, you stood, furiously staring at the man. 

"What fucking business is it of yours, Levi? Leave me alone." Grabbing the dish and fork, you stormed off to deal with the dirty items, grumbling about how goddamn annoying your security guard could be. And how forward, who did he think he was?

~~~~~~

By Monday you had calmed somewhat, but hadn't heard from Jean. It was both upsetting and a relief as you really didn't know what you might say to him. Staring at some bizarre game show on TV, you thought how it was funny that every country had it's own ideas on what passed as entertainment. As the next contestant was hurled into a swimming pool full of goo whilst wearing a banana outfit, a knock sounded at your door. Pulling it open, you sighed. You'd managed to avoid him for the rest of yesterday, but here he was in all his smarmy glory. "Piss off Levi, I'm not in the mood." Then you saw what he was wearing. "Oh shit. I forgot." He looked you up and down, taking in your nightwear. 

"Evidently. Get dressed (F/N). I haven't got all fucking day." Maybe some fighting would do you good, get the tension out.

Holding the door, you raised a hand. "I have to shut this?" He just smirked. You weren't in the habit of slamming doors in people's faces, but he left you no choice. Now alone, you grabbed your clean gym clothes and pulled on your trainers, hair up out the way. In less than a minute you were ready and swung the wooden entrance open again, finding him in the same position but now no smile. 

"Aren't you going to shower?" Pushing him out the way, you strode down the hall, calling back to the seething man. 

"I showered last night and there's no point doing it now when I'm going to get all fucking sweaty again, is there?"

There were a few people in here today, using the equipment and keeping in shape. A few eyes were flicked your way as you walked in behind Levi, slightly apprehensive but all the same, looking forward to letting off steam. A hand on your wrist stopped you from entering the smaller room and you looked at it's owner with a questioning stare. "Strength today. All very well and good being able to dodge and block, but you'll get no fucking where if you don't have the power to fight back." He pointed to the leather punch bag and you made your way over, small padded gloves with no fingers passed to you. Slipping them on, you felt a bit exposed with all these others watching, but as Levi grabbed the bag from the other side and spoke, you were more than ready.

"Just pretend it's me. Or, better still, your micro penis boyfriend." The way he angled his head round the leather made him look ten times more infuriating and you started to lay punches into it, annoyed at him, annoyed at Jean, annoyed at yourself. After a while, you were stopped, panting with a sneer on your face. "Ok, so that was a lovely display of angst, (F/N). But it was all over the fucking place. Precision." A pale finger tapped one spot on the bag, a small crack in the fabric showing you the target. "Left then right. Go."

With alternating jabs, you hit the spot over and over, getting a good rhythm going. Levi watched as your arms strongly shot out one after the other, saw the strands of hair that had fallen from their tie and now swayed around your face, cheeks pink and eyes determined. He had been right. This was enjoyable. Holding up a hand, he halted you again and you were thrown a bottle of water. Drinking deeply, you turned to see you were now alone, most people having gone to get lunch. Levi walked slowly around you, almost predatory and considered his next instruction. "Kicks now. On that same spot." You stared. It was chest level, no way you'd get your foot up there, but you tossed the bottle aside and tried anyway.

Raising your foot you kicked out in front and lost balance, falling back against your instructor. Hands prevented you from hitting the floor and you heard a small sound of amusement. "Not with your fucking toe, (F/N). It's not football. Like this." Slowly he lifted his right leg and kicked in slow motion sideways, connecting his shin with the bag. Still convinced it was a no go, you tentatively tried to copy his move, shaking to keep your left foot steady on the floor. The attempt ended in you hopping to the side and finally succumbing to gravity. With a huff of expelled air, you landed heavily, breaking the fall with your arms.

"It's no use, I can't get that fucking high." Levi loomed over you, glaring down. 

"Didn't peg you as a fucking quitter. Come on. Try again." You grabbed his offered hand and let yourself be pulled up and he moved to your left side, gripping your upper arm. "Just lean into me, concentrate on your right leg. We can work on your shitty co-ordination later." Placing your weight on the man, you carried out the surely impossible move, shoulder in his chest, your arm held steady. Against all odds, you actually managed to hit the target, but your exclamation of joy was short lived. Yet again, the foot you had on the ground began to waver and it made the small jumping movements once more and before you could let your right foot come to assist it's twin, instinct kicked in and you clawed at Levi for purchase.

Now you had a face full of his t-shirt, but not for long as your legs gave way, sending you to your knees, the grip on your arm not expecting the sudden fall and you pulled him forwards. Shocked, you looked up into flashing eyes and a smirk crossed the lips of the still standing man you now knelt in front of, his face bent down inches from yours. For a second you felt something, a strange sensation in your stomach that was gone as quickly as it had appeared. Levi's evil glee also disappeared as a voice sounded out from across the room.

"So this is training with Levi? Remind me never to recommend you to any of my female relatives." The man laughed as you were dragged up from your compromising position and with a blush you turned to see Erwin standing grinning over. 

"I…it's…" you began, stuttering at the new arrival, but he waved away your embarrassment. 

"I won't tell anyone what you two get up to in here, don't worry." The head of security began his own work out and the grip on your arm was released. 

"Tch. Insufferable brat. Again."

By two o'clock you had mastered the art of staying upright and your blows had become more powerful. With a weary body, you trailed upstairs, fully intending to take a shower and get some food, but all you were capable of was collapsing on your bed, sleep taking you over instantly.


	3. Fun And Fury

Staring at the ceiling, you thought how it was a bit better this time. Jean still had his face buried in your neck but he stroked at your hair and even gave a few small kisses to your skin. Perhaps it hadn't been his first time ever, but at least his first time with you and that may have been the reason for his nerves. Biting at your bottom lip, you tried to hold in the groans as pleasure shook through your body, making the effort to be sensitive to his somewhat odd dislike. In time he may grow to enjoy it, you hoped, as it was quite a struggle for you to remain quiet. Soon after, you felt strong thrusts that signalled his satisfaction and you lay together a while, breathing shallowly. Jean rolled away and in a mirror of the last time, he discarded the used protection and pulled his clothes on, waiting for you on the sofa.

A current affairs programme was on low and you cuddled up, his strong arm around your waist as you sipped at a wine. He had nothing, being that he was driving and yet again had a reason to return home tonight. There was a trip planned for his new charges, something of a holiday camp by the sounds of it, but for army cadets. So no skinny dipping, no sneaking around to make out with someone behind the sheds, more likely it would involve strenuous activities and a lot of testosterone. They left at dawn, so he had to get back. You chatted a while though; well, he did, telling you how he had been talking with your father and had been invited to next week's gathering of political minds, thoroughly ecstatic at the prospect.

Barely listening, you sat contentedly, happy that tonight's events had been better than last time. It was still a bit weird, but then you had to make compromises in a relationship. Jean was still the same sweet gent and you made your peace with the whole thing. As he launched into a monologue about how kind your father was, you shifted to relieve the pain on your hip. Training had taken place today as you didn't want to suffer both fencing and fighting the day of the party at the castle, needing to be at your best for the epic night out.

The kick that had been delivered to your side had been brutal and even Levi seemed shocked at his power. His Thursday mood had been evident yet again, making you concerned for him. It had resulted in a harsh lesson in defence, as he decided to alternate strength and skill days. You saw it as good practice, becoming slightly more adept at reading an incoming move. His actions today had been different, clouded by anger and less sharp than usual, allowing you to block more and even get your own blows in. The reason for his anger remained evasive and you wondered if it had always been the same on this day of the week or a recent thing. Both scenarios troubled you. One one hand, you'd potentially missed it and on the other it was a new situation that ate at his mind.

You were roused from your thoughts by a question. "So I'll see you in a week, (F/N)?" Smiling, you nodded and stood to see him off. 

"Don't be too hard on the newbies." With a wink, you grinned over at his light eyes and saw how they lit up at the prospect of putting them through hell. 

"It's going to be fun, they won't know what hit them." A small kiss on your cheek was given as a farewell and he was gone, leaving you to your thoughts and aching body.

~~~~~

"This time when I lunge, you block and riposte. Aim for my chest." Marco's right foot came forward and you prevented his strike with your foil, sliding easily into your own attack, tip of the thin blade poking into the padding on his body. "Good. Very good. You're a fast learner, (F/N)." You could hear the smile in his voice from behind the mask and stood, beaming from ear to ear. Before you could say anything, he had challenged you again, your defenceless pose rendering you open for attack and his sword pressed against you. "But you should never let your guard down. Always be prepared for another assault unless the fight is over." It was a rookie mistake and you silently swore at yourself for being so stupid.

The lesson was over and you bowed, signalling that the clash was finished. Now you could relax and quickly tore off the padding, desperate for the fresh air. Your vest top clung uncomfortably to your skin and you swept the hair from your face. "Same time next week?" The freckled man nodded, eyes kind and face open and warm. 

"Of course, (F/N). Take care." Waving him off, you trailed through the main hall, picking up your mail and making your way upstairs to shower before lunch.

As you walked along, you flicked through the letters. One was informing you that the subscription you had with a cookery magazine was ending. You learnt from the chef, so that wasn't going to be renewed. Another was a hand written note from someone asking for an audience with you and your father on the subject of human rights. Saving it, you reminded yourself to pass it to Hange, as she dealt with that kind of correspondence. Sometimes you were contacted as a more approachable member of the family, less intimidating in terms of social standing. A few other pieces of junk mail were placed under your arm for the bin and that left you with one more, another flier. This one was interesting though, a midnight ghost walk. It reminded you of tonight's haunted castle and your heart jumped at the prospect of going out.

The walk was in three weeks time and would take participants through the old town, guide telling stories of the apparitions that resided in each area, graveyards, crumbling buildings, churches. The small leaflet promised a good time and along the way you would be stopping in local taverns, all presumably supposed to be haunted too. It sounded fun and you'd talk to your friend tonight about it.

~~~~~~

It was ten in the evening and you left quietly through the side entrance. No one ever guarded this door and you knew the guy that would be at the main gate. He always let you pass, enjoying your child like enthusiasm at going out, a feeling he remembered well. It amused him that you were doing this at your age, but understood completely. Nodding, he watched as you hurried down the driveway with a grin and a thumbs up and he wondered what time he would see you trailing home.

The warm air meant that your new light weight strappy top was more than sufficient, the sheer material flapping in the breeze. It was dark coloured, showing a hint of your bright blue bra underneath and your skinny jeans complimented it nicely. You wore black pumps as heels would be excruciating for all the dancing you'd be doing and you had a small bag that sat over your shoulder and across your body, keeping your hands free. Far enough from home, you waited for the cab you had called and jumped in when it arrived. Within five minutes you were already there, pulling up in front of the ruins. The castle was lit with different coloured flood lights and you could hear the pounding music. Checking the driver's name on his badge that lay on the dash, you paid well and thanked him personally, the little touches going a long way.

As you stepped out, you smiled at how much of your father's personality had rubbed off on you, diplomatic to the last. Gazing up, you walked purposefully to the temporary security tent, bag checked for weapons and bottles, body frisked for the same items. How you'd be stashing anything of that size in these clothes you'd never know, but they had rules to follow. You paid the entry fee and received an ultra violet stamp on your hand, invisible to the naked eye, but it would allow you re-entry if you decided to leave and come back tonight.

Fairy lights hung everywhere and lazers flashed from machines that spun and jumped in time to the music. Exposed stair cases on the walls housed life sized figures, mannequins made up like horror story characters and cyborgs, the detail amazing. It was full of people in here, all ages, all dressed differently, cementing your belief that Jean was completely incorrect in his terminology of a rave. It wasn't that at all, it was just people having fun. Pulling out your phone, you sent a message to find out where your friend was. A swift reply followed. She was by the main bar next to a robot. Scanning around, you saw a podium with someone dressed in flashing silver fabric, dancing above the crowds. That must be it.

Slipping through the bodies, you spotted a familiar blonde and rushed over, hugging her from behind. She spun and pulled you in, shouting in your ear. "How fucking awesome is this place?!" Grinning, you replied with equal enthusiasm. 

"I know, Annie, I'm so glad I found the advert! Buy you a drink?" Your friend was one step ahead and pressed a plastic cup into your hand, full of clear liquid which you presumed was vodka. Holding her matching one up, you clashed them together and drank deeply, looking round at your amazing surroundings.

An hour later and the two of you were dancing without a care, alcohol making you throw any self awareness away. Annie grabbed your hand and pointed over to where the toilets were, mobile units brought in for the occasion. She led you through and you managed to find an empty cubicle and bundled in together laughing. The blonde shuffled her jeans down and sat as you pulled out a mirror to check your appearance, dabbing powder to eliminate any shine. It was now your turn and you watched as Annie took a couple of items out of her bag. A mirror that was larger than yours, a small wrap and a credit card. It had been a while since you had taken any drugs, but if this night was going to go on as long as you presumed, you weren't going to say no to the boost that would come with cocaine. Lines done, you made sure there was no sign of the white substance on either of your noses and went back to dance the night away.

Time was irrelevant, the music kept playing and you realised how much you had missed this kind of event. A tug at your arm alerted you and Annie beckoned, leading you away again towards the bar and two people that were smiling over. One was a darker haired woman with a tanned face and the other a huge beast of a man, one that would put Erwin to shame. His blonde hair was ridiculously bright and you were introduced. "This is Ymir and Reiner. I know them from back in school. Guys this is (F/N)." Shaking offered hands, you smiled back, the effects of the drugs wearing off and making you tired. 

"Looks like we got here too late!" Reiner's grin told you that the fatigue must be quite obvious and you shrugged apologetically. 

"It's been a long day." The man's face grinned wider and he placed an arm around the woman next to him. 

"No worries. Plenty time left for us, right Ymir?" She looked up and smiled as the two walked off into the throng of humans that were still capable of dancing.

Annie looked over, her own eyes heavy and she placed a hand on your shoulder. "Time to go?" Nodding, you threw your arms around each other's waists and searched for the exit. It was a nice night and you planned on walking back, the journey taking you through the town that would still be full of life. No dark alleys or untravelled roads would be met, so you felt safe at making the trip that you had done one many an occasion. It was time for you to part ways and you hugged your friend tightly. 

"You up for a midnight ghost walk next month?" Annie pulled back, eyes gleaming. 

"Hell fucking yea, (F/N). Text me the details." Leaving you with a kiss on the cheek, she started off on her way home and you turned to make your own short walk.

The town was indeed still bustling, even at this hour, but it was the norm around here, always people out enjoying themselves. Strolling through, you lit a cigarette and sighed. You'd be getting a good sleep, no doubt, the fencing earlier and obscene amount of dancing combined to make you ready to climb into your soft, warm bed. Lost in thoughts of pillows and duvets, you were unaware of the presence behind until they placed a strong hand on your shoulder. Using the few techniques that you'd learnt, you spun to remove your attacker but stopped with a huff as you saw who it was.

"You fucking following me, Levi?" Silver eyes flashed and he shook his head. 

"Take another guess." Frowning, you looked up into the deadpan face. 

"You can't be working, it's Friday. So what, just out for a night time walk?" Another shake of the head met your query, and you gave up. 

"Whatever it is, I don't care. I'm fucking tired." Walking away, you were aware of him meeting your pace, joining you to travel side by side. 

"Had a good time? Hardly the sort of place for a lady like you." You really had no energy to meet his sarcasm right now, so kept quiet, remembering to take this up again at a later date.

The security guard looked confused at the two that approached and Levi offered an explanation. "Found this one wandering the fucking streets." The man seemed to accept it and you were led up to the side door and into the stair well. Quietly, you prowled up and Levi took full advantage of the view. At your floor you turned, glaring, waiting for some kind of reason as to why he had conveniently bumped into you. None came, just a parting comment that made you feel strangely lifted. "Nice bra."

Confused with yourself and the way the infuriating man made you feel with a simple and probably insincere compliment, you tutted and pulled open your bedroom door, leaving him standing in the hall. A small smirk crept over his lips, the image of the bright garment shining out of your clothing emblazoned on his mind, along with the satisfaction of making you blush slightly. He was glad you'd had a night out and also that your stupid dick of a boyfriend would be away for a week. A whole, blessed week without having to see the face he wanted to punch so badly. There was something about the brunette that wasn't right. As Levi ascended to his floor, he thought how it wasn't jealousy. Well, not fully, but Jean certainly had something hidden and he was determined to find out what it was.

~~~~~~

"Come on, you can fucking do better than that. Higher." Monday's training was upon you and it was strength again. Your balance had improved somewhat, but to get your leg further up the punch bag, you yet again needed support. Levi held your arm steady and as you leant in he got a face full of hair. Ignoring the invasion of space, he breathed in your scent, a slight hint of jasmine in his nose and he saw your limb hit the leather with precision. Mumbling into the (h/c) locks that smelt so delicious, he praised you. "That's better." He didn't let go for a moment, lingering slightly too long and you stood together. Tilting your head back, you were face to face now and that damned blush ran over your cheeks again without warning as you stared up at gleaming grey eyes.

Snapping out of it, Levi released you and stood back, clearing his throat. "Try it without help." Arms crossed, he watched as you tentatively lifted a foot, using your upper body as counter weight and hit the target. "Harder." He saw you shake your head but comply anyway, sending the bag swinging. The way your shorts rode up when you carried out the move was appetizing, but the sway of the leather item required assistance and reluctantly Levi walked round to hold it steady. "Again. Faster." You pounded into the bag over and over, left foot firmly on the floor, no hint of your previous wobbles. After around twenty violent kicks, you were stopped by a raised hand. "I think you've finally got the hang of that, (F/N). Water."

Drinking it down, you tried to regulate your breathing, composing yourself for the next round and trying to push down the strange feeling in your stomach that had remained since those eyes had locked onto yours. It made you feel terribly guilty and you hated your base reaction. Why now? After three years of being in his presence, why was this happening? Of course your stupid inner self would wait to be involved with someone before it decided to see Levi in a different light and you frowned. The dark haired man watched as you stared off into the distance, a strange look on your face and he wondered what was running through your mind.

With a small sigh, he gave you the next instruction. "Arms. We need to get those fucking muscles in shape." Tossing the bottle, you took up your stance, gloves already on and you watched as your trainer held on to the bag once more, strong hands gripping tight. Before you could think about how it would feel to have them on your body, you started to punch, ridding your brain of anything but exercise. "More." The slave driver made you push through a barrier and you threw your arms with a power you hadn't managed before. Levi gazed round the leather at your determined face, heard the puffs of effort that accompanied the blows and had to place a foot back slightly to help him hold the bag still. He decided to try and press you further.

"It's not a pillow fight, (F/N). Stop fucking stroking it and punch properly." With a snarl, you gave it everything you had, eyes burning and you swung your arm, connecting with the object awkwardly, sending shockwaves of pain up your limb. Crying out, you quickly held your right hand gently in your left, cradling the injured wrist. "Shit." Levi had gone too far and he swore at himself for being reckless. With concern he took your wounded arm carefully and looked down. Probably just a sprain, he'd heard no cracks and he led you over to the equipment station. Hissing in through gritted teeth, you tried to move your joint but it was too painful. 

"Sorry Levi." He waved away your apology, knowing he was responsible.

Taking a roll of supportive bandage, he pulled the glove from your hand slowly and started to bind your wrist, taking care not to cause any unnecessary pain. His eyes were a soft grey, lips pressed together with concentration and you watched as he patched you up with a protective air. White support in place, he ran his fingers over it, making out like he was checking his workmanship, but in reality Levi was trying to convey his sorrow at pushing you too hard. Back in a business-like pose, he put the rest of the bandage away in the drawer and closed it harshly. "I think that's it for today." You pouted. Despite the injury, you were only getting started.

"Can't we do more kicks? Try the other leg?" Levi turned and shook his head, a strained look on his face and he spoke softly. 

"No. You need to rest. Don't put any weight on that, let it heal. We'll see how it is on Friday." He walked off, leaving you standing in the gym alone, sweaty and sore.

~~~~~~

Breakfast the next morning was quiet. You sat with your father who was reading the paper as you munched on some toast. Levi sat nearby with his tea, a book open on his lap as he leant back against the padded chair. He kept glancing over, still annoyed at himself every time he saw the white bandage on your wrist. Making a note to check on it later, he returned to his novel, trying to block out reality. The silence was broken by a bespectacled woman bounding in, voice cutting through the serenity. Levi winced and you looked up with a grin. "Hurry up (F/N)! We got stuff to do today!" You were at a loss and couldn't figure out what it was you were supposed to be doing. Hange noticed your confusion and rolled her eyes. "It's Tuesday. A little thing called 'a visit' is happening this afternoon?"

It all came crashing down and you placed your head on the table, groaning at the realisation. You and your father were to attend lunch at the prime minister's house, something you were sure Jean would have loved, the opportunity to network was clear. But no. Here you were, having to make the trip and play nice. Your father's face smiled over at his grumpy daughter, almost in apology. "It's just lunch. We won't stay long. And this evening, why don't we have a game, catch up?" It had been a while since you'd chatted over the chess board and you felt a bit better about the whole thing. That was until you were lifted from your seat, the woman leading you away much to the amusement of your security guard.

~~~~~~

"No. Too formal." You pulled yet another item out of the wardrobe. It had been two hours of hair and make up, nails and friendly chats and now you were tackling the clothing situation. Standing in your underwear, you waved a light green patterned tea dress over and Hange frowned. "Hmmm. Could work. Nice and summery, but sensible. Ok. Shoes, shoes, shoes…." She began to rummage around, ass in the air as she tried to find what would look best with the dress that you'd hung on the handle.

Without warning, the door burst open and Levi stood at the threshold, black suit in place and silver flashes in his eyes as he ran them down your form, taking in the black lacy items. He had presumed that you would have been one to wear more sensible, plain underwear for some reason, not the seductive set that sat on your perfect skin. "Levi Ackerman, what the actual fuck?" screamed Hange and you ran into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. "Why are you bursting into lady's bedrooms?" continued your friend and she was met by a shrug and a smirk. 

"The car's waiting."

With disbelief, Hange gaped and reprimanded the irritating man. "Can't you knock? Poor (F/N), she must be so embarrassed!" Levi strode in, closing the door and staring up at the brunette. 

"Why? It's not like she's a fucking saint. She has that idiot of a boyfriend round here and I'm sure they're not just sat having a midnight feast. Sure, something's probably getting eaten but it's not fucking food." Snapping, you flung open the bathroom door, not caring you were still half naked and marched over, finger pointing.

"How dare you? Why are you fucking talking about me like that? You don't have the right to make those shitty comments. Fuck off." Standing close, you breathed quickly with rage, eyes challenging him to retort. His lips twitched, a sure sign that something was coming and you braced yourself. 

"All I know is that most people don't sulk after they fuck. But never mind that. Your father's waiting. Get dressed." As he strutted away to take up position outside your door, you heard him mutter. "And again, nice bra."

Door closed, you turned to Hange and she looked at you with accusation. "What does he mean, again?" Brushing it off with a grumble about training, you climbed into the dress and put the selected shoes on, complaining quietly. 

"Fucking sulking, what does he know. Stupid bastard." Hange watched as you became more and more aggravated, wondering why you were suddenly bothered by Levi's jibes. Normally you gave as good as you got and tore into him, not sit arguing with your shoe buckle. 

"(F/N), you ok?" Raising your head, you met her gaze.

"No, Hange, he's fucked me off." She sat next to you on the sofa, placing a hand on your leg.

"Why are you letting shorty get to you so much? Just give him a slap, insult his appearance. You'll feel better."

When you left your room, you did just that. Using your stronger left hand, you heard the satisfying sound and glared up. "You've got stupid fucking hair." As you stormed off, he let out a tiny laugh, following in your angry wake. 

"Is that all you've got? Stupid hair? You're losing your touch, (F/N)." Unable to form a coherent response, you just stomped heavily down the stairs to the waiting car.

Levi held the door open and sliding in, you kept your knees together, making the move a graceful one and you glared up as he still smirked despite your slap. Your father was next to you, Erwin in the driver's seat, your security taking up his place beside him. The drive was made in silence and you rubbed at your wrist, the bandage helping to keep it still. A house similar to yours came into view and the electronic gates were opened once identity was confirmed. Bodyguards stood everywhere and now two more were on the scene, each following behind their respective charges.

"Looks like training's going well," muttered Erwin, pointing to your wrist. Levi tutted and yet again felt the pang of regret. 

"That was her fault for being too fucking eager." His boss glanced down and smiled. He was a clever man, good at reading situations and people alike and he was all too aware of his employee's strange affection towards the woman of the house. It seemed like acceptance, something the angry man had little time for, but he certainly had it for you.

~~~~~~

You sat looking over the chess board, deciding on your next move. It was pointless as you could see exactly how it would end, but you weren't sure how it got to this point. Making a futile gesture, you sent your bishop out into battle and your father's shaking hand shot into view, taking a piece and deftly bringing one of yours down. Despite the way he bobbed his head, totally wasted, he was in control. But only of the game. Before you could retaliate, he bowed his head and sighed. In seconds you were by his side, arms around him as he began to sob into your t-shirt. Sitting in his otherwise quiet study, you held on for as long as he needed and tried to alleviate his sorrow.

Hitched words were spoken into your shoulder. "I'm sorry (F/N). I just miss her so damn much." Shushing, you soothed him with the sound, clinging tightly. Of course you missed your mother too, but he had always been the one you were closest to and it hurt so badly to see the strong man so weak and overcome by emotion. About ten minutes passed and he gathered himself, holding you out in front of him. 

"Don't say sorry, dad." He smiled weakly and stroked your hair. 

"Thank you, (F/N). I suppose I can't get used to not being with your mum. It doesn't get any easier."

The man sighed again, but it signalled the end of his introverted and grief stricken mood. Trying to move it on, he looked at your worried face, seeing the love that lay within and decided to ask you about your relationship. "So how is going with Jean?" You weren't sure how to answer that. He'd been gone four days and you didn't miss him. Then there was the weird sex, but you were certainly not about to talk that over with your dad. And, most importantly, there was Levi. As annoying and rude as he could be, something was happening and you didn't know what to do.

"Honestly dad? I don't know. He seems nice and kind on the outside, but I sometimes feel he's more interested in work. And you." A hand patted your knee and a warm smile was offered in support. 

"Whatever you want to do, (F/N), I respect your decision. Now, your move." Turning back to the game, you gave in and began to move closer and closer to your inevitable defeat.

~~~~~~

Standing in the kitchen, you arranged the newly made macaroons on the wire rack and when Jean reached out to grab one, you slapped his hand away playfully. It was Thursday afternoon and he had just got back, full of stories about the muddy week and how he had made some of the recruits cry. As you placed the result of your culinary skills out carefully, you were aware of someone else coming in but kept your eyes forward. "Afternoon." Glancing round you saw raven hair falling over a pale face as Levi filled the kettle and selected his tea. You mumbled a reply, still annoyed at the comments he made on Tuesday and carried on with your own task. Jean, however, was not going to stay quiet.

"I'm not happy with the way you're training my (F/N)." His possessive statement was infuriating and you started to wonder if you should just nip this in the bud before it went any further. No response was offered and you turned to see Levi leaning casually against the kitchen units, arms crossed and one foot across the other ankle in a pose of nonchalance. He raised an eyebrow and you waited for the exchange that was bound to come, listening as your security guard decided to speak.

"How so?"

"Look at her wrist. What did you do? Lose control?"

"That was an accident. It happens when you work out. Are you telling me you never injured yourself? Maybe tripped over your big fucking feet? Or got your ridiculously long face caught on a rowing machine?" It took everything in your power to keep the laughter inside, the way he delivered his sardonic words without emotion was hilarious and you enjoyed it all the more seeing as it wasn't at your expense.

"Who the hell do you think you are, runt? Talking to me like that? Have you any idea who I am?"

"Me? I'm the person who works for "your (F/N)". Have done for three fucking years. And no, I don't even know your name. I don't bother to learn what someone's called if they bore me."

The kettle clicked and Levi turned to fill the pot. Just as he placed it down, Jean flew across the kitchen, probably intending to punch the smug man in the face but he was stopped by an expert arm across the chest, clenched fist connecting heavily with his ribs. "Don't even think about it." Something in his voice made the major falter and he took a step back, hands up. 

"You're not worth it. Come on, (F/N)." You didn't move, just stared over, conflicted. Jean glared at you, the anger you'd seen once before evident again. Levi looked eternally tired with the whole situation, but inside he was interested in what would happen next. In an instant, your nearly healed wrist was grabbed and you struggled, but Jean was way stronger and you were pulled from the kitchen past a confused looking Erwin.

The blonde man was met by a shape crashing into him and he held back the small, furious human, speaking lowly. "No, we don't want a fight between staff and guests." Trying to break free, Levi snarled. 

"I'm going to fucking kill him, Erwin." He knew his boss was right, but he was blinded by pure hatred. 

"Levi, listen. Listen!" The harsh tone made him step back, this was doing no good for his career amongst other things. "(F/N)'s not stupid, right? She's not going to put up with that. So just calm down. Drink your tea. Go to the gym. Anything. But stay away from them." Hearing you shout, he tensed again and a hand was placed on his shoulder. Every fibre of his being wanted to run, smash the shit out of the military cunt, but he remained still, taking orders from one of the few people he respected.

Spinning, he went back to his tea, pouring it out into a spotless cup. Erwin stayed a while to make sure Levi didn't disappear and to provide some company. He glanced over at the delicate sweets you had made and shook his head. What must have started as a serene afternoon had gone to shit and he heard a series of doors slam, one being the main entrance and an engine spring into life.

Meanwhile upstairs, you had finally managed to release Jean's grip and paced in your bedroom, eyes full of malice. "What the fuck did you do that for?" He screwed his face up, but before he could reprimand you as usual, venomous words met his ears. "I'm not your toy, I'm a human being and you don't get to drag me around in my own home." Your probably soon to be ex-boyfriend considered his next move and you saw him having an internal struggle. Finally, he looked up and sighed. 

"Sorry, (F/N). I was out of order. I just didn't like the thought of someone hurting you." It did nothing to thaw your icy demeanour and the next thing he said made you burst with rage. "So, shall we have sex?" It was impossible to answer at first, his throw away question out there as if nothing had happened. Jean sensed your disbelief - it wasn't hard. The face that scowled at him was one of fiery indignation and disgust. "Isn't that what couples do? Have a fight then make up?" Throwing your hands up, you let out a growl of frustration and pointed to the door. 

"Out. Now." At first he didn't move and you took a step forwards. "I mean it, Jean. I can't look at you right now." With a tut, he complied and swung the door shut violently and you heard another bang before his car started and you watched him drive away. Hopefully off a cliff.

~~~~~

Your sleep had been patchy and at the crack of dawn you were already up, sitting by your window smoking, trying to process everything. Jean hadn't tried to contact you and the evening had been spent alone in your room, a couple of visits by Hange to deliver some food and wine. She loved to fuss over you, making sure you were ok but also realising when it was best to leave someone to their thoughts.

Breathing in deeply, you frowned. It was nearly 6 on a Friday morning and someone was leaving. Levi, to be precise, in his casual clothes, walking determinedly out of the grounds. This could be a normal occurrence, you didn't know, rarely ever seeing this time of day. He could be such a closed man and you doubted any good would come of questioning him, so you just kept hold of the knowledge for now, adding concern to the turmoil in your mind.


	4. Quality Time

Marco could tell you weren't paying attention, arms limp and no force behind your moves. He sighed and held his foil up and bowed, watching as you followed suit with apathy. Masks removed, he looked into your fraught face. "What's wrong?" As nice as he was, you didn't know him well enough so you just shrugged. 

"Bad night's sleep. Sorry, Marco. I'll do better next time." He accepted the reason and you helped tidy up ahead of schedule. Out in the hall, you spotted it was nearly 11 and Levi was walking back in, same casual clothes in place. Five hours later and he'd returned from wherever he had been, looking lighter than he did on Thursdays.

Glancing over, he frowned as Marco walked past, gear in his arms. "Finished already?" You hadn't seen each other since the incident in the kitchen yesterday and he looked into your strained face and saw the pain that lay within, only managing to give him a small huff in response. "Let me see that wrist." Allowing the examination, you stuck your arm out. It had been fine to fence with and you were sure it was healed now, no longer wearing your bandage. Gentle hands probed and circled, causing no pain and he seemed satisfied that you were alright to train, but not the punches from Monday.

You met his gaze and waited for a prognosis. "Give me ten minutes. Actually, come up. I've got something for you." Intrigue overtook your formally bleak thoughts and you followed behind, up to the highest level. You'd been here on Tuesday to see your father, but you'd never seen the other wing since it had become living quarters, not wanting to intrude on people's personal space. Levi, Erwin and two others had rooms here, one of them being the guy at the front gate who let you slip past without a word. Walking through the small atrium that signalled the end of your dad's area and the start of the security section, you wondered what sort of thing he had to give you.

A hand invited you to enter and it was the same as your room, just in reverse, bathroom on the other side, window offering a different view. There was little in here, a few books, a clock, mobile phone on charge, but no pictures or personal items. It made you wonder if he actually had any hobbies or family, or maybe he just didn't like clutter. It smelt clean and fresh and everything was perfectly arranged. Shuffling around in a drawer, he pulled out a small plastic bag and passed it to you. Inside were a pair of leather gloves, like the ones you trained with but brand new and with a longer cuff to support the wrists. And they were women's ones, sure to fit you better than the small male set you had been using. "Thank you, Levi. They're perfect." He nodded and pulled out his gym gear. He knew it was a bit of a lame gift, but he wasn't exactly skilled in that kind of thing. All he knew was that he wanted to show a friendly gesture and also, you did desperately need the gloves.

"Sorry, I'll leave." Raised eyebrows were offered in response. 

"Tch. I've seen you in a lot less, so think of it as being even." Pulling off his t-shirt, he replaced it with the similarly dark training one, giving you an eyeful of his toned chest. Jeans were slipped off and sweats pulled on, all too quick to really see much of him and you were certainly anything but even. 

"How is that fair?" Levi looked over with amusement.

"What, did you want me to stand here in my fucking boxers for you?" Flustered, you spun round, clutching your gift to your chest and you mumbled quietly. 

"No. Fuck off. Let's go."

As you rushed out of his room, he smirked, glad to see that small flush on your cheeks that made you look so alive once more. The gym was buzzing today, pre-lunch work outs underway and a few waves were offered. Off site security were in attendance as there would be one of the infamous gatherings tonight, the one that Jean was so excited about. These men lived near by, not being personal bodyguards, but still they were all from your home country and you began to feel a rare longing. It wasn't far really until Christmas, but it was still hot here, something you had never been able to get used to. It seemed odd to have trees up and decorations depicting robins and snowflakes when the sun shone brightly in the sky.

Entering the smaller room, you saw Levi had brought two bottles with him and he set the water down to one side, watching as you pulled on your new gloves, securing the wrist straps. You might not be throwing punch after punch today, but always a good idea to protect a weaker area. Shoes were off and you stood awaiting command. "Warm up. Blocks." He began the rhythmic movement of right arm left arm whilst you matched his pace to stop the incoming limbs. It was hypnotic, a steady exercise that got the heart rate going and let your muscles spring to life. As the entrancing practice continued, Levi took the chance to talk, your eyes locked the whole time.

"So what happened upstairs with that cock sucker?"

"Told him to leave and he did. In a huff."

"Heard from him since?"

"Nope. But he'll be here tonight for the fucking lad's club."

"You going?"

"No. Hell no. I don't want to be near that prick right now, Levi."

"Good. He needs a good fucking kicking."

"Too true. You don't know the half of it."

Levi wondered what you meant, but didn't probe. Instead, he changed tact and brought a knee up, which you blocked flawlessly.

"Hmm. I think you're better at this when you're not paying attention, (F/N)."

"No, you're just too predictable."

"Oh really?"

"Yep."

All of a sudden the room tilted and you felt dizzy, the soft floor coming up quickly to press into your back, a slight pain in your lower legs. Jarred from the repetitive motions, your breath was knocked from your lungs and a body dropped on top of you, knees either side of your waist, hands pinning your arms down. "Now tell me I'm fucking predictable." You couldn't speak for a moment, partly from shock and partly from the proximity of the man above and the position he was in. Levi stared down at your wide (e/c) eyes, slightly open mouth and felt your heavy breaths on his face, enjoying the moment a little too much and he smirked.

Coming to, you shook your head and laughed, a pure sound that made the dark haired man feel strange, almost like he was filled with electricity, a real honest chuckle of joy spilling from your lips. He didn't think he'd ever heard such a thing from you before, small laughs and giggles, or humourless offerings, but not this. It made him unsure of what to do next, however that was decided for him. A strong knee came up and connected with his sternum and he let out a pained breath, releasing your arms to hold the area that had been assaulted. It meant you could wriggle backwards, still laughing. Levi had been caught off guard, but he wouldn't let it happen again, so he grabbed your leg and pulled you back, once more in control.

"That was a dirty fucking move, (F/N)." He glared down but the twitch on his lips told you he wasn't angry and you tilted your head. 

"Could've been worse. I was aiming for your balls." Levi bowed his head down so all you could see was the top of his head and unknown to you he was biting back a laugh. Composed, he looked back up and saw your wide smile, trying to look as innocent as you were capable of. Holding back any urges, he stood, not even bothering to offer you his hand to help you up and he paced around, trying to calm himself but looking like he was thinking of the next drill.

"Ok, let's try something different. On your knees." He turned, seeing the surprise on your face, all sign of your previous glee gone. "Today would be fucking good." The way he stood with his hands on his hips, staring over with a blank expression made you even more nervous, but you did as you were told, trusting he was the expert in all this. Levi prowled closer and explained. "If you're attacked, chances are you might end up on the floor. It's how you deal with it that might be the difference between getting away and getting your fucking face smashed in." It made sense and he came to a stop right before you. Looking up, you waited for the next instruction and he paused, secretly loving the stance you were both in right now.

"Grab my legs, try and bring me down." You did as you were told, but ended up just looking like a toddler hanging onto it's father or a hysterical woman begging her husband not to leave. Pulling, you were met with resistance and the way Levi just stood with his hands behind his back made you growl with effort. Obviously getting nowhere, you were about to give up but a foot was placed on your chest and you were pushed onto your back. "If I was your attacker, I would have just kicked your teeth out. Try again. Think about weak spots, don't be afraid to hurt me. And no, (F/N), not between my fucking legs."

Grinning, you weighed up your options. If it was you, what would make you fall? Probably a lot, but there was one thing you felt sure of. In a swift movement, you dug your fingers into the soft, tendon filled flesh behind his knees, pressing hard. You heard a small yelp and with satisfaction on your face, you watched as he dropped to the floor on his ass with a release of air. Instead of being angry, he smirked and nodded. "Good choice." The door opened and a head poked through, blonde hair and huge eyebrows greeting you. Erwin looked across at the two on the floor and frowned. 

"What is this, story time?" It did look like you were just sitting having a chat and yet again you laughed loudly as he continued. "Come on, get cleaned up. I've been told you don't want to miss lunch today."

Walking back, you undid your gloves and placed them under your arm, breathing in the fresh air gratefully. "You not working tonight?" Dark hair swung as your companion shook his head and you started to complain. "How am I going to get out of going to the fucking dinner?" A simple suggestion was offered. 

"Just don't go." As if it were that easy. Elbowing Levi in the ribs, you let him know that wasn't an acceptable answer. "Fine. Tell your dad you feel like shit. Simple." It was probably not a bad idea and you made the choice to go with it. Not that you wanted to lie, but it was that or try and act civil around Jean and you weren't ready for that yet. Better to just stay away.

At your floor, you bid Levi farewell and went to get showered and changed, hungry belly rumbling loudly. It had better be as good a meal as Erwin said, he'd raised your expectations. The hot water was blissful, the slight ache in your muscles from the relatively light work out still pulling at your arms. It had been a pleasant if short session today and you'd seen a somewhat playful side to your trainer. You thought how it was nice to have some good natured banter and as you massaged the shampoo in your hair, the other matter of today came bounding into your mind. There had certainly been some kind of spark again, one which baffled and excited you all at once.

Presuming Jean didn't have trouble figuring out that you were practically over, what was to stop you investigating that feeling? Apart from the obvious work and play situation, was there any harm? Not wanting to get too carried away, you rinsed your hair and stepped out, fluffy towel wrapped around you as you moved through your room to find some clothes.

A floor up and Levi was having his own thoughts on the day so far. It was certainly different, a shift in both of you that had been small but obvious. As he dressed in casual clothes, he cast his mind back to when you were together on the floor, him looming over your face that was lit up by laughter and he cursed himself for being so weak as to let you take the advantage and break his hold. It was a moment of pride too, lifted by your quick thinking and sharp mind, however he also felt weak in the sense that he was having so many thoughts about you. Never had he been so clouded by a person and it wasn't something he was accustomed to. Shaking the feelings away, he left, making his way to the smaller dining room, hoping that you would also be there.

You were, and he glanced over at the way you attacked the food on your plate, thin lip curling instinctively with disgust. As soon as he caught your eye, you stopped shovelling and ate in a more refined fashion. With a smirk he joined you, sitting back and watching your elegant display of etiquette that was purely for his benefit. "Nice to see you're not always a fucking animal, (F/N)." Demurely dabbing at your face with a napkin, you smiled over. 

"You know, I can be quite the lady when I need to be. Seriously, get involved. This is awesome." It did look good, but he was always reticent at eating in front of others, the act of stuffing your face with something that would return as shit making him uneasy about the whole thing. He saw the pleading look on your face and noticing that most people had gone outside to eat on the patio tables, he gave in.

On the way to the kitchen, he scowled. Why was he going against his natural behaviour for someone? It felt as wrong as it did right and he stormed in, grabbing a plate. Tea could wait, he wanted to get this over with. Back at the table, he was greeted by the calming fact that it was now just the two of you and began to relax slightly. Eating quietly, he lost some of his inhibition and found that it was actually a really nice meal, just the sort of thing that was needed after some mild exercise.

You gathered the empty plates and used cutlery, delivering them to the dishwasher's waiting trays as Levi brewed some tea. Holding up a cup, he looked across and you nodded. It was about time you found out what was so special about all of this and you waited patiently for the opportune time to pour the liquid, watching the dark, warm beverage fill the white china. "So what is it?" Sipping, you tasted the slightly fragrant drink, a flavour deeper than your normal breakfast tea. 

"Earl Grey." Nodding, you took in some more, enjoying the subtle yet tasty refreshment and wondered how you'd never had this before. 

"I'm going to take this up, there's a programme I want to watch. See you later?" A cup was held in farewell and you left, somewhat sad at breaking your time together but you didn't want to be a nuisance. It was his day off, after all.

Lying on the sofa, you stared at the screen, taking in the crime documentary with hungry eyes, watching how the perpetrator of the murder was brought to justice using only a small red fibre from the trunk of his car. It was always a fibre on this show, but all the other avenues were exhausted first to add tension, twists and turns. The narrator was overly dark and serious, the music sinister and it was as cheesy as it was entertaining. At the end, you felt your eyelids dropping and succumbed to the fatigue, a combination of a shit night's sleep and exercise taking you over.

Next thing you knew there was a knock at your door and you sat bolt upright, hair a mess, dribble undoubtedly on your chin. Wiping at your face, you didn't have to get up as the visitor strode in. "(F/N)? Time to get ready!" God, you'd forgotten to tell Hange what went on yesterday. Sitting your friend down, you caught her up, seeing her eyes narrow from behind her glasses as you explained. "So, am I right in saying he wanted to have sex after manhandling you up to your own room? Because that's what people do? Shit a brick." Shaking her head, she smoothed down your wild hair and looked over in sympathy. It soon turned to a hint of amusement and she pointed.

"You know what? That short stack stood up for you. How adorable!" Seeing the cloud in her eyes, you started to shake your head, not liking where this was going. 

"Hange, stop it, right fucking now. Concentrate. I need to tell dad I'm not well so I can avoid the no doubt awkward evening. How do I look?" Her calculated eye trailed over you and she puffed your hair up again, trying to return it to the haystack that she had walked in on. 

"Like shit. The drool on your cheek helps. Go now." Screwing your face into a sneer, you stuck up your finger and rose to go and deliver the news, heart heavy at the lie that was about to come out.

Lightly knocking, you were advised to enter and with clammy palms you started to speak. "Dad, I…" You were cut off by the figure of your father swooping over, hands on your shoulders and concern on his face. 

"Are you feeling ok? What's wrong?" Your appearance was obviously shocking and you made a mental note to find a hair brush. 

"I just don't feel good. Tired, I guess. Do you mind if…" Again, you weren't allowed to continue. 

"Of course, (F/N), of course. Rest up. If you need to talk, I'm here." His soft voice made you feel a hundred times worse for the lie, but you were grateful for the way out. 

"Thanks dad. Love you." Kissing his cheek, you slipped out to let him continue getting ready, noticing that only one cuff link was in place.

Your room was empty now, Hange having left and you saw what she had done whilst you were gone. Two bottles of wine sat on the table with a glass and you smiled, loving the woman even more for helping you out and making sure you didn't have to leave your room tonight. Maybe both bottles were a bit of a stretch for you, but fuck it, why not give it a try?

Only one glass in and you heard the cars arriving. Looking around, you got up and turned off the lights, not wanting to give Jean the satisfaction of knowing you were hiding up here and not really ill. There was no doubt in your mind that he would be attending, not one to miss the opportunity of networking to further his career. The television lit your room with dim flashes, yet another crime being solved with enthusiastic tones and you sat back against the sofa, wine in hand. Sounds of hollow laughter trickled up from outside, trailing in through your open window, making you feel sick with the insincerity of the whole thing.

Gulping your drink, you lit a cigarette, breathing deeply, only to be interrupted by another knock at the door. Hoping it wasn't your dad checking on you, or Jean trying to make amends, you called out in your best frail voice. "Who is it?" The response was clear and strong. 

"Don't play the fucking patient with me. Are you at least clothed this time?" Smiling, you felt relieved and shouted that it was fine to come in. Before Levi shut the door behind him, he surveyed the surroundings, holding his own bottle up. "I see you're already set for the night. Mind if I join you?" Gesturing, you showed him it was more than ok to make himself comfortable and you sat up, giving him space to sit. Once the door closed, the room was sent into darkness again.

He placed two glasses down, making you smile at the fact he'd pretty much decided you would allow him in before he even got here. More pompous guffaws sounded from outside and Levi winced. "Does that piss you off as much as it does me?" You nodded, watching as he leant forward, face close to his glass as he poured a drink, trying not to spill it. "Why is it pitch black in here? I can't see shit." You laughed quietly and explained. 

"Hiding, Levi. Anyone sees the light on they'll know I'm up." Anyone. It wasn't lost on the pale man that you weren't just avoiding anyone, only a certain major with a chip on his shoulder.

You sat in silence for a while, watching a killer being brought to justice once more by a small thread that had been left on the body. The noises from outside had abated, meaning that the dinner was in full flow downstairs. Judging by the time, it wouldn't be long until the group split and the political debate would once again start up. A gurgling sound from your stomach broke the quiet and you blushed. "Sorry. Guess I'm hungrier than I thought I would be." The shadowy figure next to you shifted and offered a solution. 

"Take the stairs into the kitchen, no one will see you." Probably not a bad idea, you thought and stood, bashing into the table leg, then the sofa, hands out like you were blind. "Tch. Such a fucking idiot. No one's outside now." Suddenly the light was flicked on and your eyes protested, wholly displeased at being assaulted by the bright bulb.

"What the fuck? Are you trying to destroy my sight or something?" Levi looked up to see your hands pressed over your face and smirked at the childish gesture. 

"Get over yourself. At least you look fucking bad enough to pass as being ill." He got the same response as Hange had when she gave you a similar compliment and finally you were able to adjust your eyes to the light. 

"What if someone does see me?" The man by the switch sighed and muttered something about how useless you could be and opened the door. 

"Come on."

Quietly you crept down stairs, feeling like a little kid who was out of bed too late, hunting for a snack. Levi just walked normally, but this situation was making your heart race, the ridiculous scenario of a grown woman sneaking around not bothering you in the least. It was fun and you didn't care how stupid it seemed to be prowling around your own home in pyjamas. At the ground floor, you saw your partner in crime stop and open the door a crack, peeking through the gap that led into the back hallway.

He knew it was a ludicrous thing to be doing and was well aware that you could just call someone to bring you food. But two things made this acceptable. One was that he knew full well that you didn't like being waited on hand and foot, a trait that he admired. And the other was that this was just the soft of thing that would amuse the woman, regardless of how laughable and juvenile it seemed. It was just another way for you to try and inject some excitement into your sheltered life. So he played along.

Levi held a hand up to halt you and he could almost feel the glee radiating from the body behind him. Raising your hands, you clamped them over your mouth to stop the nervous giggle from escaping, watching for a signal. Door open wider now, black hair disappeared momentarily, then a serious face met yours. "Ok. It's clear." Rushing through with adrenaline pumping, you hurried down the hall, only to be stopped at a junction by an arm across your stomach. In reality, no one was there, but it was part of the game and you were fully convinced you were about to be discovered. Holding in a squeak, you waited, heart beat pounding in your ears, the sound like a pulsating waterfall roaring.

Finally, you were allowed to continue, a pale hand beckoning forwards in the direction of the kitchen. A sudden burst of noise blasted through the house, signalling that the door to the dining room had been opened and you pressed up against the wall, the man by your side doing the same. Grinning, you looked across, slight understanding in your mind that he was doing this to humour you, but you were caught up in it too much to let the thought rise to the surface.

Quiet descended and you were led forward, tip toeing down the carpet to the white swinging kitchen door. Levi stopped and turned quickly, holding your gaze with a stern pair of steel eyes. "Just walk in like you own the fucking place. Grab it and go." Nodding, your stomach growled and jumped with butterflies at the same time and your co-conspirator held a hand up. When he dropped it, you made your move. He watched as your demeanour changed instantly, striding in with authority and he wondered what the fuck he was doing. Actually, he found he didn't care, it was quite amusing and he waited patiently with a smirk on his face.

Inside, you matched the offered smiles and nods. It wasn't the first time you'd come in for food, but it was the only instance that you'd been seen strutting through wearing pyjamas on the evening where you should be sitting in the dining room with the guests. Making for the back cupboard, you rummaged through and pulled out some snacks, crisps and chocolates, a packet of breadsticks, anything you could hold. Closing the pantry with your foot, you walked back, arms laden with treats and pushed through the door. Levi looked down at the amount of junk you had gathered and shook his head, smirk still in place.

"Did you leave anything in there, or is this the whole fucking supply ration for the week?" Smiling, you shot him a look and started to hurry back up the hall. Before you could turn the corner, the raucous sound of voices called out from the once again open door and you froze, loot clutched to your chest. "Quick, run." Obeying the order, you took to your heels, dropping a pack of fruity sweets on the way. You tried to stop and get the fallen booty, but a hand on your arm kept you moving, a dark, urgent voice in your ear. "Leave them, there's no time."

Squealing with laughter, you burst into your room and scattered the food down on the table. Such a simple thing had made you jubilant and you composed yourself, meeting Levi's gaze with a solemn face, the lost candy in mind. "Let's take a minute to remember our fallen comrade." You couldn't hold it back any longer and burst into giggles once more, grabbing your stomach. The man by the closed door raised a hand to stifle his smile, entranced by your innocent buzz and he looked over as you sat and began to pick through your stolen items.

You spent another couple of hours munching the junk food, drinking the wine and talking lightly about all the stuck up pricks downstairs who were having nowhere near as much fun as you. It had been an uplifting evening and as you stood by the door to say goodbye, it felt like something was being pulled from your heart and twined deeply within the man who had gone out of his way to make you smile. "Thank you, Levi. You didn't need to do all of that." He just tilted his head slightly and smirked. 

"Yes I did. Now stop being so fucking soppy and get some sleep." Staring after him, you watched as he seemed to glide down the hall, dark hair swaying.

~~~~~

"Why do you have to get all of this shit?" Ah yes. Thursday. And to make matters worse, you were once again dragging Levi round the shops, making him follow you on your search for ingredients. You wanted to try a new recipe and as always, you insisted on selecting your own produce, not expecting anyone else to have to pander to your whims - obviously notwithstanding your security guard. Despite your growing friendship, or whatever this was turning into, you didn't feel comfortable asking what the matter was. If he wanted to tell you, he would and you weren't one for poking into other people's business. So you just suffered the grumbles and insults, gladly playing the part of a virtual punch bag.

"Just need coriander, then I'm done." A trail of curses spilled from his mouth and you did your best to find the green item quickly. Herb acquired, you rushed to pay and made your way back home in silence. He left you at the main entrance, taking himself off to get changed to hit the gym and you promised he could have first taste of your new creation. That was met by a small grunt that clearly meant 'whatever' and you hurried to the kitchen, wanting to get this done before the chef would need to come in to cook dinner.

An hour later and you were concentrating on the thin pastry, tongue stuck out a little at the side as you folded it into perfect triangles, keeping the filling inside. You were aware of footsteps and you looked up to see your father approaching, warm smile on his face. He'd been busy the past few days and you hadn't seen him since Friday evening. "Feeling better?" Nodding, you still felt bad for the lie, but it had to be done. "Jean was asking for you." You wiped your hands on your apron and turned. 

"If he was that concerned, he could have contacted me. Or better still, not dragged me through the house because of a stupid argument."

The man sighed and placed a hand on your arm. "I heard about that. Perhaps better if he doesn't come into contact with Levi again." It infuriated you that the concern was on keeping the two apart, not the fact that the person who was supposed to be your boyfriend had acted in such a way, but you bit your tongue. Challenging your dad was not something you did, so you got back to cooking, attention once more on the therapeutic motions. "Do you think you may have been hasty? He's keen to see you again." Keeping calm, you remained facing away and spoke quietly. 

"I know what I'm doing, dad."

The reality was that you didn't. When it came to Jean, you were certain, but Levi was an unknown part of the equation and you were letting yourself get sucked into the ever changing relationship, unsure where it would lead. But that was part of the thrill, the new lease of life that had been offered to you and you wouldn't let it go.

~~~~~~

Friday's sparring lesson was in full flow and for the twentieth time you found yourself on the floor, having had your legs swept from beneath you. Last week had proved that you were unable to counter that move and any kind of defence still eluded you. "Come on Levi, I might as well stay down here. I'm not going to fucking get this." His figure loomed over and he sneered down at the woman who was flat out on her back. 

"Surely you're capable of more than just lying there?" A raised eyebrow added gravity to the obvious double entendre and you smiled, now able to take the flirtatious comments without blushing all the time.

About to make an equally suggestive response around what you may or may not be capable of, you were cut off by the door swinging open and a flustered Hange bursting in. "(F/N), you have to come. Jean's outside and refuses to leave until he speaks to you." Her wide eyes told you that this was something you had to obey and you were helped up by your trainer, his eyes sharp and piercing. 

"Want me to get rid of the bastard?" As nice as it was that he wanted to help, you had to deal with your own issues yourself and thanked him with a polite declination of his assistance.

The others followed a small distance behind, scowling over as the woman approached her ex, standing tall and walking with the air of someone in control. "What do you think he's saying?" asked Hange, leaning into the man she stood with. 

"Probably some fucking sorry excuse of an apology." They stayed quiet, watching intently. There were words exchanged, some of them seemingly heated on your part, arms flung around in disbelief. But then something happened. The major bowed slightly, looking like he was whispering in your ear with a smile that held absolutely nothing but evil. Whatever he said made you freeze and Levi glared as he saw you visibly slump, defiance gone, shoulders dropped in wretched acceptance as you spoke some more.

The next move made his blood boil and he could only stand and stare as your defeated form was led away by a hand on your shoulder. He wasn't angry at you, he knew there would be no reason why you would suddenly accept the prick back into your life. The feeling that the army man was up to something surfaced again and Levi growled to no one in particular. "He's a fucking dead man."


	5. Trapped

Staring at the light haired man who stood smugly, you felt your world tumbling down around you, his words ringing in your ears like thunder claps. Still trying to process it all you looked up, hoping you'd misheard. But no, the devil incarnate glared into your eyes with a fiendish smile and he repeated himself. "Did you not hear? I told you that we are still a couple and if you don't keep up that facade then I'll have no alternative but to expose your recent drug use." Facts still hadn't been offered, but you knew it could never be public knowledge. Your father was a strong advocate in the war against drugs, being chairman and patron of many organisations that worked tirelessly to rid the world of narcotics. It would ruin him if the public knew what you had done.

You didn't feel self pity, all you felt was hatred, for both Jean and your stupid, idiotic self. Why? Couldn't you have been satisfied with the alcohol? You could have said no, politely declined your friend's offer, but selfishness had taken over, the desire to party seemingly stronger than the need to protect your father. The man watched you closely and delivered his next blow.

"Next time you want to do a line of cocaine, don't do it with someone who has a hidden camera." Your eyes widened and you physically shrank, the realisation of what your friend had done sending shocks through your body while more details were given. "She was sincere to you at first, but I managed to persuade her to do it. Amazing how much difference a little money can make." At least she hadn't been stringing you along for a year, even if it did all end like this. His infuriating voice was buzzing in your ear again, all too soon. "So you see (F/N), until I can get what I want, where I want to be, I need you to play the content girlfriend. Now let's go and reconcile our differences."

You weren't able to do anything but comply and follow, the threat rendering you defenceless, however you were under no illusion that if he tried anything, it would mean a world of pain for the man. With slow movements, you trailed after Jean, not turning to meet Levi's eyes as that would surely result in your tears. It wasn't his battle to fight though and you remained emotionless, trying not to think about what conclusions your dark haired friend would be coming to.

It needn't have worried you. The man who you were growing fonder of every day was sure that this was anything but the happy reunion and he glared into the back of the brunette's head as he walked smugly away with his stinking, shitty arm around your shoulders. A voice chirped in his ear. "Please tell me you're joking?" His murderous words from a moment ago hadn't been made in jest, he fully intended on seeing the major dead, but he wasn't about to start going around killing people in broad daylight. He certainly wanted to and it was evident in his stare as he locked onto Hange's scared orbs, making the woman flinch.

"Totally fucking serious. How can you think anything else? Did you not see what just happened? Your shitty glasses need cleaning?" She too knew that something wasn't right and it made her fearful to think what kind of trouble might have found you, the woman she protected in a slightly overbearing but well meaning manner. 

"I know, Levi but what can we do? If (F/N)'s going with him it must be bad, but you don't know what she's like. Not the way I do. She'll want to deal with it on her own. Stubborn, just like you." He was becoming familiar with your personality and knew your friend was right, imagining how you would carry on like nothing was wrong so that no one else had to be put out of their way to assist. Admirable, but ultimately he wasn't going to allow it happen this time. You had him to help now.

"Fuck that. Whatever that shit's up to, I'm not letting him get away with it." As he strode off, mood dark, Hange watched the angry man disappearing back into the gym and started to realise that the two of you were getting close. Very close. And now Jean was back, ruining what she thought would be a cute if not slightly argumentative couple. Her own plan in mind, she hurried off to the house, quietly positioning herself near your bedroom door to listen out for any signs of a struggle, phone in her pocket in case she needed to call for help.

Jean made himself at home, settled on your sofa, grin on his face. At least he hadn't tried to suggest sex, but that wasn't to say it wouldn't come. You stayed pressed against the door, back on the wood and waited for the something to happen, whatever the inevitable was. His smarmy voice sounded out in the otherwise quiet room. "Your father's such a good man. I've made some powerful allies in that drawing room already and I won't risk losing it all over some dumb woman." Holding back the desire to punch him, you stayed by the door, fists clenched.

"I'm a selfish man in some respects. Look after number one. Attain your goal. Do not be distracted from your career and aspirations." He sounded like some kind of speaker at a seminar on self assertiveness and your lips curled into a snarl. 

"I was more than happy for you to carry on your little fucking meetings, Jean. Why do I have to pretend to be your girlfriend?" In seconds he was up against you, pressing you into the door, the furious stare you had seen before flashing in his light eyes. 

"I told you. Don't swear." For a moment you thought that was it, he would force himself on you, but he left you again, pacing the floor. "I need you so I get invited to all the important events. If you were with someone else, your father would take the happy couple, not the ex. Believe me, I'd rather not have to spend time with you, (F/N). That disgusting mouth of yours needs cleaning out with soap." Frowning, you watched him move around the room and continue his rant. "I'll hang around for as little time as possible, keep up appearances. At least I don't have to sleep with you anymore."

Fury hit and you shouted, not caring if anyone heard your incredulous words. "What the fuck? Are you kidding me? Did you think that was the height of pleasure for me? You're a fucking weirdo who clamps a hand over their girlfriend's mouth, who doesn't touch her hardly? Are you emotionally fucking retarded?" His now smiling face met yours, a slight grimace mixed in at your profanities. 

"Don't take it personally, (F/N). I prefer the company of men."

And now it all made sense. Muffling the female voice, not looking, not touching. One thing didn't add up though, but he was quick to clear up the one remaining issue. "You do know there's little blue pills you can buy, yes? All I had to do was close my eyes and imagine you were someone else. That was until you started talking and making those filthy noises. But I dealt with that, too. Like I said, attain your goal. Any means necessary." Now you were a means to an end? Used mentally and physically for someone's shitty career. It was all too much and you snapped, throwing punch after punch into his body, all of which he allowed until you got him on the chin.

A hand grasped your wrist tightly, the animosity burning in his eyes. "You tell anyone about this, I will expose you. Try and break up with me, I will expose you. It's not forever, just until I get where I need to be. Then we can come to an amicable agreement to no longer date, I'll give you the video file and you can get on with your sorry life." He let you go and checked his watch. "That's enough time to seem believable. I'm off. When's the next dinner? Next Friday isn't it? Smaller, but still important. I'll see you tomorrow, but then I'll be busy with work so just one more day to get through until then."

He made it sound like it was such a chore for him too, despite it being by his design and your hatred grew to an unbelievable scale. Shaking with anger, you watched him leave, wondering if tomorrow he could just sit in your study for a few hours instead of bothering you. Once the engine of his car was audible, you went to exit your room too, only to be pushed back in by a flurry of arms. "What the fuck is going on, (F/N)? I heard you shouting, I heard a thump, what happened? You ok?" Hange looked frantic and you tried to keep everything deep inside, not wanting to drag her into something that was none of her fault, but also determined to not disappoint your friend.

"It's ok. We cleared the air. It's fine." She knew it was anything but fine, however she accepted your reticence, knowing that if you wanted to talk, you would. 

"Alright, (F/N). I'll buy it for now. But short stuff won't. Good luck keeping him on a leash." Hange left after giving you a strong hug and you stood, well aware that Levi wouldn't accept your small explanation. He would be on duty tomorrow, helping Erwin as your father visited dignitaries, but Sunday would be hard. Very hard. The hosts of Saturday were invited round the day after, despite it being the house's usual day off and luckily Jean didn't know about it. You weren't going to be involved much, just meet and greet then linger a while, but it meant security would be tight due to the visitors and that in turn ensured Levi would be stuck to your side all day.

Close by, the man in your thoughts was pulverising the leather bag, punches and kicks thrown with force as he tried to clear his mind, get to a state of serenity before he could even begin to make sense of everything. Whatever was going on, you would need time to process it too and he respected your privacy to an extent. He was acutely aware that you hadn't tried to find out why he was always so unbearable on a Thursday and admired your sensitivity on the matter. Tomorrow would be a shitter of a day, but necessary and it would give you the space you needed to sort out your thoughts. So Sunday would be the best time to speak, given that you would be together most of the day. Hopefully it was enough time to wait. Laying another fist into the bag, he began to dream up ways in which to cause pain to that fucker Jean.

~~~~~~

Sunday morning arrived and you felt nervous. Levi hadn't mentioned anything about Jean on the few occasions you had seen each other since Friday and you didn't know if it was out of disgust or something else. Your fake boyfriend came round yesterday and sat in your room watching TV while you read a book, sitting on the bed. You'd made an appearance for lunch, which you cooked for the few in attendance, false smiles plastered on and he gave you a kiss goodbye for the benefit of those around, making you feel sick. Breakfast today was toast and a coffee, taken to your room and now Hange was helping you get ready, all conversation kept light and on topic. "So these guys must be important. Have you seen how many guards are in today? I've counted thirty so far. That's way more than when the prime minister was here. It's fucking scary."

Your hair was complete and she appeared in front of you, make up palette in hand. As she dabbed at your face, you sighed. The visitors were controversial, aligned with some questionable world leaders and the reason for their presence was simple. Sweet talk them out of their dangerous relationships and into those allied with this country and yours. Easier said than done, but it had to start somewhere.

"There we go honey. All set. Good luck." You knew she didn't mean it with regards to the high profile guests and smiled weakly as she left. Soon after, tyres on gravel sounded out and you sighed heavily. It was like Hange said. Fucking scary. But you knew your dad had to make out like it was no big deal, treat them no differently to anyone else. A knock dragged you from your thoughts and you went to answer it.

"Hey." You couldn't manage much more than that and Levi frowned. 

"Nice to see you too. Come on, let's get this over with. Sooner those fuckers are out of here the better. I don't like it." Muttering your agreement, you went to walk downstairs, only to be stopped by a curse. "Fuck."

Turning, you looked over to see the man in the suit patting his pockets. "Forgot my fucking pass. Erwin's shit hot on carrying ID at all times. Although I don't know why. He surely knows my fucking beautiful face by now." Laughing lightly, you were glad of the lift in the tension and made your way up. You passed your father's room and then the study, but a hand grabbed your arm, not allowing you to continue. Levi had his finger up at his ear, listening to instructions on the small device that was placed in there and in a swift movement you were pulled into the study, door locked, curtains closed.

He spoke into the small microphone at his sleeve, words short and urgent. "Yes. Top floor study. As secure as can be. You got Mr (L/N)? Right. Ok. Understood." Almost bursting with fearful anticipation, you stared over with wide eyes and stony grey ones met yours, his face set in a grim expression. "Some fucker's threatening to blow themselves up in the entrance hall. Came in with the guests. Part of their fucking security team if you can believe that. They've got a suicide vest and swears theres a device planted in the building, which is bullshit, but they've got half the staff as hostages unless your dad comes down. Erwin's with him on the first floor, ran up before the shit hit the fan." It was a lot of information to take in at once, but all you knew was it was bad.

"Who's taken hostage?" All of them were important to you, but obviously Hange was at the fore front of your mind. 

"Kitchen mainly. I can't tell you more than that." Nodding, you still had a million questions, the main one voiced. 

"What happens now?" Levi paced a bit and seemed to be listening to someone else again. 

"I don't fucking know. Doesn't this shithole town have negotiators? Well call someone, stop bothering me." Arm by his side again, he answered your query next. "If we can find someone to come and talk to the little shit, avoid everything going to hell, then that's the best answer. Just a waiting game."

Twenty silent minutes passed and Levi was finally given another update. He nodded but didn't reply to the disembodied voice, just sat down on your father's leather seat, pointing to the one you usually occupied. "Police are here. They can come in to the grounds if invited. Better hope their negotiator's fucking worth it." He pulled a pack of cigarettes out, presuming it wouldn't matter given the fact that the room stank of cigar smoke. Throwing them over, you took one gratefully and tried to calm your nerves. It was quiet until Levi spoke up again. "Could be here fucking ages." You glanced round and gestured to the chess board, a set of raised eyebrows meeting your suggestion. "Like you can fucking play." With a huff, you brought it over and set it down carefully. 

"No, Levi. I can fucking win. Up for it?" A small smirk was offered and he held out a hand to allow you to take the first turn. As the moves were made, the conversation began, like when you trained, brains and bodies doing different things and you also took the first question.

"So how come you never do anything with your Fridays? Apart from follow me or fight me?"

"Told you. Nothing better to do round this shitty town."

"Don't you ever take any holiday leave? You're always here?"

"Yea, because I've got so many fucking people back home waiting for me to pay a visit." There was a sadness in the sarcastic response and it was a depressing thought, but you were glad he was being open and honest. Now it was his turn.

"Why are you walking around like nothing's fucked up? What does he have on you?" Levi had figured that Jean must be holding something over your head and wanted you to let him in. It was silent for a bit, only the sound of wooden pieces placed on the board. Finally, you swallowed and began to tell him the truth. It didn't seem right not to. As you explained everything, the sex, the cocaine, his selfish desire to get ahead in life by any means possible, Levi's expression darkened, narrow eyes now slits of fury that stared into your soul from underneath knotted brows.

"I was right. He's fucking dead, (F/N). What a fucking prick." He spat his words and you sighed. 

"But what can I do? Sure, I feel like a shitty whore, but really is there any way out? Other than wait for him to get his claws into enough people in power?" Levi looked down, dangling a rook in his fingers. Placing it on the board delicately, he shot his glare back up. 

"No. You're not going through this, not waiting until he's decided to finish fucking playing with you. There must be something. Let me think."

You remained quiet, heart lighter for telling him everything and at his declaration to help. The man also felt slightly alleviated, glad that his supposition had been true and you were indeed not dumb enough to get back with the guy. Although he had no doubt of that, it was still good to hear it out loud. Now the weight of what you were going through was pressing on his mind and he made it his mission to help you fix this, get rid of the fucker. He was going through the motions, not paying much attention, when he suddenly realised something. Lifting his gaze, he saw the grin on your face as you made the final move. "I believe this is called check mate, Levi. So yes, I can fucking play." It had been a long time since he'd been beaten, so it was an odd thing to have to deal with.

Leaning back, you looked pleased with yourself, any thoughts of the current situation or the one with Jean gone in that moment as you watched your opponent go through a variety of emotions. Slight anger, surprise, respect maybe. But he ended on a smirk. "Not bad, (F/N), not bad. I'll get you back one day. When you least expect it." Shooting a playful glare over, your smile widened and you began to reset the pieces. 

"Another game?" Your suggestion was met with a growl and you put the board away, still smiling.

It had certainly seemed like ages and despite the severity of the situation downstairs, if you weren't there in the thick of it, it didn't feel real so you became restless. A few rounds of a card game had been played, some chat around exactly what the dignitaries were caught up in, along with plans for tomorrow's training had been held and you jumped when Levi placed his finger to his ear, head tilted. When he remained quiet, you impatiently banged a hand on the desk, his answer delivered deadpan. "What? I had an itch." Leaning over, you ruffled his hair in retaliation, messing up the perfect dark locks. A mischievous look was passed your way and a purred voice sounded out that made you alight with passion. "Oh you want to play dirty, do you (F/N)? I can play dirty too."

He stood, staring down with a smirk but before he could pay you back somehow, a real message came through on his earpiece. "It's over. Bomb was a fucking fake. Bunch of twats." He grabbed your hand and strode down the hall, speaking into his cuff. "Yes. On the way." Bizarrely you were upset that the terrifying situation downstairs was over, wanting to know exactly what Levi would have done. As if he knew, that same silky sound was in your ear, lips touching your skin. "This isn't over." Reaching the ground floor, you saw police cars pulling away and the shape of your dad rushing over. He pulled you into a strong embrace and you hugged back, seeing Hange come flying over to get involved.

"Oh my god I was so scared, are you two ok? I was in your room still (F/N), this lovely gent found me and kept me company." She gestured to the man who let you in and out the gates when you wished and saw the look on his face, one of fatigue and shock under his blonde hair. God knows what she had put him through and you offered him a sympathetic smile. Your friend was grabbing at you, ecstatic that you were safe and in one piece and your father left you with a kiss as he went to see off the guests, meeting on hold given the incident.

Erwin joined Levi at the foot of the stairs, smiling over at the two women chatting nervously but happily and he noticed his employee was staring in that direction too. "Fun time, Levi?" He was met by a small huff and a grumble. 

"You try spending two hours locked up alone with the fucking princess. Enough to drive you insane." It wasn't a lie, he was sent crazy but not in a bad way and his boss picked up on something in his words. 

"I'm sure you suffered it well, Levi. Good job by the way. Well done." The man stood impassive for a moment and made a tiny noise before sweeping off to join his charge. 

"Tch."

As he approached, a glance was exchanged between the two of you and Hange tried to get her arm around his shoulders for a hug, but he ducked it expertly. "Aw come on, it's a happy occasion! Share the love!" The look of death that bored into her eyes told her to back down, yet she never knew when to stop. "Group hug? What's up with your hair anyway, trying the rugged look?" With a snarl, he took your arm, leading you further into the building. 

"Those shits are still on the premises. You shouldn't be out the front." Hange rushed after the two, presuming safety lay wherever the security man took you. 

"Hey wait, I need protecting too. Room for one more?"

Three figures made their way into the kitchen and you were concerned for your dad. Erwin knew what he was doing though and you doubted your father would be taken away from the small chance he had with the men. You went to brew some tea, glad for the distraction and Levi materialised by your side. "Not like that. Watch." He carefully loaded the blended leaves into the small metal sphere, holes present that would allow the flavours to spill out but not the dark pieces. "See? Put in too much, you get a gritty drink. Just the right amount." You took it all in, making mental notes and stared as the ball was lowered into the hot water, chain over the side, kept in place by the lid. "Four minutes. No more, no less." Having no watch, you looked around, but also saw that Levi had no way of keeping time either. Sensing your look, he explained. "I just know when it's ready."

The thought in your head was too funny not to let out and you said it without hesitation. "So you're like some sort of tea whisperer?" Hange laughed loudly, having been watching the whole lesson with interest, seeing the way you acted around each other. Your own giggles sounded out in the echoing room and a dark glare was offered to the women. 

"Don't expect a fucking drop of this." Hange was laughing harder and you placed a hand on Levi's arm. 

"Pleeeeease?" You gave him your best look of innocence and he smirked against all of his attempts not to. How could he resist that face? His scowl was back in seconds as your friend called out.

"Aw would you look at that? Too adorable."

New arrivals put an end to her jokes and all of your happiness. Jean strode in behind your father, a look of concern on his features that you knew was completely and utterly false. "Your dad called to let me know what happened (F/N), are you ok?" He pulled you close and reluctantly you put a hand on his back, aware that your dad was watching the apparent exchange of relief. You kept your eyes on Levi as your head was forced sideways onto the military man's chest by his palm, face squashed into his work shirt. He must have been getting ready to leave for the barracks when he got the call and you silently cursed your dad for picking up the goddamn phone.

Hange stayed quiet and silver eyes held your gaze, the fire within evident as he was addressed. "Thank you for looking after her, Levi. No hard feelings from before?" The hand that held your head prisoner was released and you snapped your neck back to get away, watching as Jean offered a manly shake to your security guard. The shorter man looked down with disgust and instead turned to pour tea, aware that his snub could have massive repercussions, but there was no way he was touching that hand. Hange thought quickly and came to the rescue. 

"Don't worry Jean, he has a problem. Germs and all that. Pay him no attention." Holding your breath, you waited for any fall out but none came. Instead, the other men laughed and brushed it off, your father already being aware of how strong Levi's need for cleanliness was.

Yet again, large hands were your enemy and they were pushed against your cheeks, a small kiss placed on your lips. All you could do was stand still, not reciprocating at all and you heard the tea pot crash down heavily on the counter. Light brown eyes looked at you with warning, but the rest of his face was the picture of normality. "I've got to get going. I'm so glad you're all safe. See you Friday." He left with the older man, the two discussing the upcoming events. The kitchen was silent and you bowed your head, aware of the others staring over. 

"Tell Hange." Unable to remain composed, you ran out and towards the staircase, taking the route that had caused you so much frivolity last week, now feeling nothing but self loathing.

You felt dirty, having those hands on you and the feeling of the kiss on your mouth made you feel sick and filthy. Rushing into your bathroom, you bent and threw up, revulsion at what you were having to do manifesting itself in the basic human reaction and you began to sob. One stupid action had led to all of this and you were stuck playing happy families in front of the world, in front of the man who you increasingly longed to be with. But why would he ever have you? As you stood and went to brush your teeth, the reflection showed you a woman who had fucked up, eyes bleary, face tear streaked and pallid. No one would ever have this.

The bedroom door opened and closed and you heard a female voice call out your name quietly. Slouching out of the bathroom, you looked over at the sorrow on her face and knew that Levi had indeed filled her in. "Oh poor baby, come here. Come to Auntie Hange." She hugged you tightly and rubbed your back, hands circling over the pretty dress that she had chosen for you a few hours ago. "I knew something was wrong. But don't think I'm ready to let you get away with sneaking out again." The guilt you felt was immense, all those around you ever did was try and protect you or love you, but at the same time you craved a normal life, being able to go out and have fun without any kind of threat hanging over you. With a sigh, you accepted that this wasn't a normal life and you were being ungrateful by placing any of that in jeopardy. Many, many people had it much, much worse.

"I'm sorry Hange, I just….no, wait." Straightening up, you held her gaze and spoke strongly. "I'm not going to try and justify myself. I fucked up. End of. And it's down to me to fix it." She watched as you went from a wreck to defiant in seconds, however she had something more to add. 

"WE'LL fix it. What are friends for if not to help? And I'm telling you now, Mr Grumpy downstairs won't take no for an answer either." You met her smile and saw a glint in her eyes that could only mean trouble. "So, the obviously shitty situation aside, what's the deal there anyway?" Typical. She glossed over the main issue and went straight for the gossip. You knew she wasn't dismissing the problem, or ignoring it, but moving it on to lighten the mood. Thing was, it inadvertently made things worse.

"Listen Hange, right now after that show down there, who the fuck is going to want to come anywhere near me? It's like I'm whoring myself out, not exactly an appealing quality is it?" You were led to the sofa, sat down for another of your friend's moments of wisdom. 

"No, (F/N), you listen. I'm not going to tell you that it's all ok, that you haven't made a mistake. But you have to pick yourself up, brush yourself down and carry on. A minute ago I saw that woman I know and love. Get her back, stop sulking and realise what is staring you straight in the face." Her words weren't said maliciously and you took them with no offence whatsoever. She was right, as usual and you nodded once to show the pity party was over, but then frowned. 

"What's staring me in the face?"

Hange rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically, directing her words to the ceiling at first and then back to you. "Give me strength. Ok (F/N). You and shorty. I get it's not exactly perfect timing and that is a huge understatement, I know. But hell, why not? He certainly thinks a lot of you. Actually, no, I don't want to imagine what he thinks about. Argh. Now I can't stop, damn my vivid imagination!" You laughed as the woman rubbed her eyes underneath her glasses in an attempt to rid herself of whatever liaison she had cooked up in her dirty mind. 

"Stop it Hange, you're obviously needing a night out. Go get yourself some random guy. Ooh, or how about your new security buddy?"

That made her blush slightly at first, but then she grinned. "Yea….Mike…." Totally involved in that train of thought now, you saw her eyes cloud over and wondered how long it would be before she tried to get hold of him.

~~~~~

Punching strongly but carefully, you made sure to keep you arm aligned with your fist, not wanting to make another awkward connection with the bag. Levi paced, watching your stance, correcting your posture with the occasional push and prod. You hadn't spoken since your flight from the kitchen yesterday afternoon, he wanted to give you the time again to gather yourself. It certainly seemed that your mood had lightened, perhaps due to the absence of your tormentor and the chats today had been light and fun. He made the decision to change that, taking advantage of the concentration you held.

"You think we can get the video?" It had crossed your mind to contact Annie, but the thought of it still enraged you and that along with the fact that she would undoubtedly say no had kept you from doing so. Levi saw how your blows became heavier and placed a hand on your shoulder, bringing you down a notch. "Careful, you don't want to fucking hurt yourself again." Breathing out sharply, you stopped and turned, aware of others in here, but his touch was still on you as a soft voice spoke again. "It'll be ok. Just don't give up." You thought how it would be quite easy to stare into those grey, intelligent eyes forever, get lost in the pools of silver, block out the ton of shit that had been dumped on you from a great height. "Oi. Are you listening?" Focussing on the words, you blinked, clearing your vision and returning to the here and now. 

"Sorry, yea." Something was picking at your conscience and you leant in, not wanting to be overheard. "Levi?" He stayed still, features unreadable, a sign that meant you could continue. "Why don't you run a mile from me? Look at the fucking mess I've got myself in, you don't need to be dragged into this." It wasn't self pity, it was a serious question, one you needed to hear the answer to. One that you needed to get out there. The man in front of you sighed and looked at the floor for a moment, shaking his head before locking his gaze on yours once more. 

"I'm not getting dragged into anything, (F/N). And unless you haven't noticed, I actually enjoy spending time with your sorry ass. Now stop fucking slacking and get back to work."

It made you smile and you shot him a look of mock annoyance before returning to your punches. Maybe you just had to ride out the storm, wait for Jean to get what he fucking wanted and leave you in peace to move on with your life, whenever that may be. Levi watched your strong arms carrying out the exercise, saw how your muscle tone was improving with your hard work. As much as he wanted to just grab you, hug you, kiss those sweet lips, he knew it had to wait. Appearances had to be kept up, but he couldn't be sure just how long he could stand it. Which made it all the more appealing to get rid of Jean earlier and as you continued the steady pace, he began to think about exactly how to do that.


	6. Ghouls And Ghosts

Hange was helping out in your room, getting ready for the dinner party tonight. Not only did it mean seeing that creep again, it also reminded you of how it was the day of the ghost walk, something you wouldn't be attending now your other friend had decided to turn against you. The woman messed around with brushes and clips, creating an elegant look with your hair for the evening's events, matching it nicely with subtle make up. "How you feeling?" It was obvious that you would rather be anywhere else on earth but here, dolling yourself up for the benefit of others, one of whom was currently blackmailing you. Checking out your appearance with apathy, you sighed. 

"I don't know, to be honest. I just want to get out of there as soon as possible."

The usual drudgery that accompanied these events was laced with dread and you were glad that Levi wouldn't be working, not wanting him to have to see you play nice with Jean. Hange patted your arm as she pulled you up to inspect her creation and smiled. "It'll be over soon. I asked the chef to quicken the pace." She winked and you hugged her tightly, appreciating the gesture more than she could ever know. 

"Thank you, Hange. So much." A hand patted your back before you were held out for her to survey one last time. 

"Just keep your chin up. And get your ass up here as quick as you can." There was no fear of you lingering and with a smile you left, leaving your friend with more thanks.

An unknown security guard followed you down and the sound of your shoes echoed in the grand entrance hall with every step. As was the done thing, your father met you and offered his arm. Keeping the fake smile on that you would need in place all night, the doors were opened and a face greeted you that made sparks of hatred run through your body - that grinning, vindictive face. Your dad passed you to Jean in some archaic show of family acceptance and you allowed him to take your hand and place a small kiss on it, the brown eyes telling you to behave yourself or else. Sitting at the table, a voice came in whispers at your ear. "Keep it nice, (F/N). We wouldn't want a scene." You reached over for the wine, drinking perhaps a little more than was deemed proper and gave him your best smile. 

"Of course, Jean. Anything for you." The look in your glare told him otherwise, but all he did was laugh.

Fine food and inane chatter were all around you and the speed of service was noticeably faster than usual, making your heart swell. No one but you or your father would spot the change and thankfully he didn't seem to be bothered by it. Before you knew it, dessert was being served, a delicate arrangement of a sugar nest made from strings of the sweet item along with some kind of fruity cheesecake, portions so small that you could eat it in one mouthful. It wasn't over yet and your blood ran cold as everyone stood, waiting for the incoming show of affection. Horrible, cruel lips were pressed onto yours, a hand on your arm, making you wonder how he could bring himself to have done all of this, acting against his nature. Hell, he'd gone out of his way to medicate himself so he could have sex with you. The man must have no shame, or no boundaries, something that made him even more sinister.

"Don't wait up." Like you would, stupid fucker. As he strutted away, the crowd thinned as the room was once again divided into groups and you took the chance to escape. Storming down the halls, you thumped upstairs, glad of the bottle and glass you had stashed in your room already. Hopefully it would be a while before you had to suffer Jean again and you reached your floor, footsteps pounding. When you opened the door, the sight that met you was hugely unexpected. Levi stood waiting, hands behind his back, dark clothes in place above his pristine shoes. Two glasses of wine sat on the table and he motioned for you to sit. With confusion, you frowned, waiting for an answer.

"We've got a couple of hours before the walk starts. Time to relax a while." Your eyes widened and you lowered yourself onto the sofa, joined instantly, the drink placed in your hand. 

"But…how…what?" Words wouldn't come and you watched the smirk twitching over his lips, not giving you anything in response. It was the same expression he wore the night he met you in town after the party at the castle and slowly the pieces began to click into place. "You?" He nodded and sipped at his drink, eyes locked on yours the whole time. Most of the times you went out at night had been because of some random discovery. Fliers. Conveniently placed newspaper article. Email from some promoter you'd never heard of. It had been him all along.

"Why did you leave those things for me?" Levi shrugged and picked at some invisible dirt on his jeans, looking unemotional. 

"Because you enjoy it." This had been going on for over a year and it made you feel wanted, knowing that he had left you hints and nudges to encourage you to go out and have a good time, a normal life. 

"Well, Levi. I don't know what to say. Aren't you the mysterious man?" It was delivered with gratitude and mischief and you raised your glass to your mouth, drinking deeply. "But are you sure you're brave enough for this?" His wine was placed down, full attention turned to the woman next to him. 

"Don't be fucking smart, (F/N). We both know it's you that's going to be screaming." The intent behind his words was blatant, making your stomach flip with just the mere thought of him causing you to shout out.

Not wanting to show the man what he was doing to your mind and body, you stood and pointed. "I need to get changed." Silver eyes flashed and he held out a palm, sweeping it round to encompass the room. 

"I'm not stopping you. Seen it all before." Knowing you'd never get him to leave, you realised you didn't actually care anymore, so walked off to rummage through your wardrobe, a pair of jeans pulled out along with a warmer top. Even though it was winter back home and the heat still reached unseasonably high temperatures here, the nights were becoming cooler. Turning your back, you quickly wriggled out of your restrictive dress and let it fall to the floor. The sofa faced away anyway, but you instinctively still kept looking in the other direction.

Levi gazed over from the corner of his eye, the image of the captivating body of the woman he was so fond of filling his mind, invading his soul, causing thoughts that were both caring and indecent. For the hundredth time this week he yelled internally, unsure how much more he could take. Tearing his eyes away, he took a mouthful of wine and lit a cigarette, trying to occupy himself before it became visibly evident just what the sight of you in your underwear did to him.

"Are you fucking done yet?" The attempt at a growl came out in a slightly croaked voice and you grinned, pulling up your zipper and securing your jeans. 

"Done. So seriously though. You're not going to get all girly on me, are you?" A face appeared from behind the back of the sofa, eyes bright and flickering with intent. 

"I'm not even going to fucking justify that with an answer. Get the fuck over here and drink your wine. This is not the kind of shitty night that can be suffered sober." Even if he had been the one to point you in the direction of the event and had now placed himself in the position of having to come with you, the inimitable disgust at it still came all too easy.

~~~~~

It was time to go, all the cars gone, drivers having taken their status-seeking employers home, including Jean and the familiar sound of steps on the hallway above all let you know that the event was over. Slipping out the side entrance, you avoided the gravel drive so your feet didn't crunch and took a route that would hide you from any light that shone from the house. The usual sentry was on duty and a smile greeted you. "Got company tonight?" Levi just tutted and strode away, not offering the man any kind of recognition. "Yea, keeping me out of trouble. See you later, Mike." A small wave sent you on your way and with a jog, you caught up with the swift moving man.

The meeting point was in the grass square that the town seemed to have been built around, all shops and houses looking like they were spawned from the green area and crawled out to sit and keep it safe, a protective ring of bricks and stone. A few people milled about, gathering around the small fountain that was central to the whole place and you saw even more appearing from the streets, creeping out with trepidation as they were probably unsure if anyone else was actually going to turn up. "Why did I fucking agree to this?" The grumble by your side was low and you answered with an elbow to his ribs. 

"You didn't agree because I didn't ask you. Remember how you came to me? Now shut up and stop being such a grumpy ass."

Conversations were held in hushed tones and a figure passed through the bodies, taking payment and providing wrist bands to prove you had indeed parted with your cash. He was dressed in a costume, the hat and cloak making you think of Jack the Ripper, face caked in theatrical make up, eyes darkened with kohl. It was done well, his evil grin adding to the look and it made you start to get caught up in the event. "Don't be afraid. I'll take good care of you." The fiendish drawl was expertly practiced and somehow your guide had managed to do something with his teeth, realistic pointy yellow fangs peeking out from grey lips. A pink paper bracelet was placed on your arm, sealed shut with the adhesive strip. "And you? Fancy a job? You look more dead than me." Levi just sighed at the man that was momentarily out of character and stuck his hand out, reluctantly accepting the bright band.

Once the guide was satisfied that everyone was rounded up, he flapped his cloak dramatically and leapt up onto the stone plinth foundation of the water feature, bending slightly and bowing with theatrical flair. When he spoke, it was dark and wonderfully demonic. "Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to my world." With a jump, he was on the ground again and stalked away, line of excited and nervous customers following, chatting and giggling. Well, most of them. 

"Tch." You just grinned, hoping that he'd get scared at some point just so you could tease him for eternity.

The winding, narrow roads were dark, places you'd been many times before, day and night, yet it seemed different. Usually it would be busier, but it was almost like everyone else had decided to stay home tonight, keeping out of the way. Your first location had been reached, an old church that had been built hundreds of years ago. The grounds were quiet, eerie light shining from the low windows that nearly touched the soil, small portals that would illuminate the crypt during the day. "How long does this fucking last (F/N)?" The weariness in his voice was apparent, but when you looked round, Levi's eyes were just as alive as yours. 

"Two hours." He shook his head, muttering as you were led through a small wooden door and down tiny, claustrophobic stone stairs.

Once inside, you saw how the crypt was lit with what seemed like a million candles and realised how small the group actually was, probably only twenty at the most. Your guide circled where you all stood huddled together, eyeing up his prey. The door slammed shut, causing a few shrieks to involuntarily be uttered, followed by nervous laughter. As the man in charge told a tale of murdered monks and haunted midnight masses, you wondered how he had persuaded the priest to let him use this place for a surely unholy pass time. Maybe he was one of those people who were just happy to have humans in the church, in any way, shape or form, hoping that the word of god just seeped in from the very walls.

To be honest, the stories were a bit badly thought out, but the man delivered his words with a perfect mix of glee and unhinged genius, making it seem all the more spooky. The whole time, Levi stared around with his eyes half shut, conveying his boredom with one simple expression. He felt a slight pinch on his arm and slowly looked down at the place he had been touched, steely glare coming up to rest on your expectant face. "What?" You grabbed his hand and dragged him away. 

"He said it's time to go?" Ascending the precarious steps, you heard a grumble. 

"Well thank fuck for that."

The graveyard had been visited briefly, a few rustles in the bushes making some of your fellow walkers jump and squeal and you were currently en route to one of the local pubs, the oldest to be precise. You'd been there a few times before, but never knew anything about it's potentially haunted status. "Does this mean we can get a fucking drink?" Shooting a look of exasperation his way, you chastised the dark haired man. 

"Come on, it's a bit of fun. Just go with it?" A small tut was Levi's response, however he made the effort to stop reverting to his basic emotion.

As the old tavern came into view, it was dark, no lights and no signs of life. Holding you all still with a raised hand, the man in costume gave an evil wink and turned, knocking three times on the door with calculated movements. On cue, it creaked open, seemingly on it's own and you tried to see in, faint glimpses of more candles and reflections on bottles. A sinister finger beckoned you all in and one by one, the willing participants filed in to the dark space. The bartender was dressed as a zombie, fake skin peeling and white contacts in his eyes, all yet again very well presented. The correct number of glasses were lined up on the bar and you assumed Jack the Ripper had sent a text to Night of The Living Dead at some point. Bottles of wine stood to one side, a skull on each label and the liquid was poured completely in character. The man moved like the undead, moaning the whole time. So much effort had been put into it and you were passed a drink by the guide.

"We'll rest here a short while, my intrepid adventurers. There may even be a few surprises." With a grin, you spun and looked excitedly up at Levi.   
"I wonder what that means?" He gulped at his wine and leant against the bar. 

"Who knows, (F/N). You fucking owe me, by the way." Slapping his arm, you remained smiling and turned to see a woman weaving through the small crowd, black hair and pale face made up to look dead, white flowing dress torn and muddy as if she had dragged herself from the grave. You watched as she held people's hands, looking down like she was reading their palm and touching others with a solemn face as she imparted knowledge. It was obviously some kind of psychic and you weren't sure where you stood with all of that. Partly you wanted to believe, but you knew there were so many ways to fool gullible minds.

She approached and you held your breath without realising. A light touch was on your face and the soulless eyes that stared at you were unnerving, even if you knew they were contact lenses, just like the zombie who poured your drinks. In a soft voice, she spoke. "Not long now. Hang on in there." It could have meant anything, an easy set of words that someone could attribute to whatever they wanted to believe it related to. Not long until death? Love? Getting out of the situation with Jean? Trying not to think about it too deeply, you watched as she moved onto Levi. His eyes challenged the woman, daring her to touch him, but she didn't. Instead she seemed to falter, all part of the act but admittedly effective. Her next words were quiet and made you insanely curious. "Don't blame yourself."

And with that small sentence, she was gone, working the crowd but she kept glancing over to your companion. "What did she mean?" It came out in a whisper and you saw grey eyes fill with something you hadn't seen on him before. It disappeared along with the rest of his wine and he shook his head. 

"It's all a bunch of fucking bullshit, (F/N). You should know that. Hopefully yours meant not long until we can go." You weren't convinced, but kept quiet out of respect and watched a delicate hand gesturing to a zombie for more drinks.

The walk had led you to some apparently infamous spots in town, the site where witches were burned, a tree which people were hanged from after being found guilty of a crime. All good stuff, but you couldn't shake the memory of the alleged psychic and the look that had been on Levi's face. Back at the square, everyone gave the guide a round of applause and the crowd dispersed. The journey home was quiet, the moon and the stars lighting your way. It might have been romantic if it weren't for the dark cloud that seemed to hang over you both.

At your bedroom door, you spoke in tiny whispers. "Thank you, Levi. I know that was your idea of hell, but I really appreciate it." A nod was given in reply, and you placed a hand on his arm. "You ok?" He realised what his expression must look like and was disappointed at himself for letting that stupid woman in the pub get to him with her insincere words. In an attempt to regain composure, he reached over and messed up your hair. 

"Get to bed. Have you any idea what the fucking time is? You look awful." He was graced with a middle finger and a pout. "Seriously. Look in a mirror. And (F/N)?" Still scowling, you waited for his next comment. "Don't have nightmares." As he walked away with silent steps, you followed his form with concern, aware of his unsuccessful endeavours to seem like his normal self. Maybe not nightmares, you thought, but it would be a troubled sleep no doubt.

~~~~~

You had woken around lunchtime and only then because someone was shaking you. Swatting at the unwelcome guest, you grumbled to whoever was disturbing what had actually been a good dream. "Go away. I'm asleep." The voice that replied let you know who was here and you turned over into your duvet. 

"No you're not, (F/N). And what the hell is that pink thing on your wrist? Don't tell me you snuck out again?" Words muffled by the covers, you tried to justify yourself. 

"Hange it's ok. Levi came with me. Just a silly ghost walk." The warm protective cocoon was pulled away, making you groan with annoyance. 

"Must have been a late one then. No wonder he looks like shit."

That was enough to rouse you and the concern in your eyes was urgent as you sat up quickly. "Where is he?" Hange wasn't stupid, she knew how close the two of you were getting, but the look on your face surprised her. 

"Why? What happened?" Shaking your head, you shot up, pulling the bracelet away and making for the shower. 

"Nothing, Hange. I just want to talk to him." As the hot water ran over your body, waking you up, thoughts swam around, picking at you and prodding relentlessly. Something told you it was all to do with his depressing and offensive Thursday demeanour and the trip he took early on a Friday morning. Despite not wanting to pry, it made you agitated and full of worry knowing that something might be horribly wrong in Levi's life and you wanted to help. Needed to.

Still dripping wet, you pulled the towel carelessly around your body and swept back into your room. "(F/N)? Don't forget Jean's coming later." The grip you held onto sanity with was slowly slipping away and you shouted at her, an action born totally out of despair. 

"Oh fuck me, Hange. When?" Your friend shushed, dramatically looking around as if the whole house might have heard. Of course, probably no one did and you started to get ready as she delivered the depressing news. 

"At 3. Only for a short while though, he said something about barracks to your dad." One good thing about this was that he didn't want to spend time with you as much as it disgusted you to have him in your presence, so if you could last a couple of hours you'd be home free.

Trying to pull on a sock, you started to hop sideways, the training you had gone through doing nothing for your balance when dressing, apparently. Hange stopped your fall and held you steady when a loud noise cried from your night stand. Grabbing your phone, the screen alerted you to the incoming call from Jean. Must change that to 'Fucker', you thought with a grim smile as you picked it up. "What?" It was impossible to disguise your hatred, so you made no effort in the slightest. 

"Nice to hear you so chirpy today, (F/N). Be ready at 3. I suppose we need to go out or something, I guess. Make sure that tiny security guard's around too. Don't want to risk anything untoward." You didn't even bother replying, just hung up and pulled your t-shirt on.

"Hange? Where's Levi?" Your friend looked deep in thought, staring over at you as she watched your wet hair being tied up out the way. 

"(F/N), what are you doing?" Stopping, you met her gaze, hands on hips and losing patience. 

"I'm trying to find him. I want to talk to him. Is that ok?" She walked over and laid her palms on your shoulders. 

"That's not what I mean. Do you know what you're getting yourself into?" Her eyes were soft behind her glasses, full of love as well as worry, but you weren't sure why. What did it matter if you wanted to spend time with Levi? Still annoyed, you tried to check your tone and spoke in a more civil way, knowing that she would only ever mean well.

"Listen Hange, I'm single, right? Technically? So why the concern?" The woman shook her head at how simple you were making this, a seemingly uncomplicated situation. 

"True, but think about it. He has to watch that dick put his hands on you, listen to his condescending words. So that's why I'm asking. I'm not saying you're selfish, everyone deserves to be happy." Her words were quiet but they made your ears burn and you felt wretched. "Just be careful. That short stack has the biggest temper I've ever seen and I doubt he'll be able to hold himself back for long. And it will end in a fight, which will then result in him losing his job."

Sighing, you hung your head. It looked like you were thinking of your own needs above Levi's, but that was far from reality. Right now you were filled with so much anxiety over what had been said last night and you wanted to help, or at least just try and be a comfort, because as much as he attempted to brush it off, you knew something was troubling him deeply. "I know how it seems Hange, I really do. But trust me. Please?" She patted your shoulder and then pulled you in for a hug. 

"What am I going to do with you?" You smiled lightly and squeezed back as she continued and delivered her information. "Last I saw he was walking the perimeter." Kissing her cheek, you ran off to try and hunt the man down.

It was relatively warm but a breeze took the edge off the sun's rays and you wished you'd worn more or at least dried properly. It was easy to forget how quickly the temperature dropped around here, even if it would still be in the mid teens at Christmas, but the change from sweltering heat to a pleasant almost Autumn like atmosphere had caught you off guard again. Glancing round, you saw a tall man on the gate, the other live-in security, Bertolt. He always seemed quiet and meek, like he wondered what he was even doing here. But you'd seen him tackle someone when you were posted in another country, strong and ready to go when needed. You gave him a wave and the permanently perplexed green eyes shot over, his own greeting given with a raised hand.

Scouring the grounds, your gaze finally landed on the figure you were looking for. Levi stood in casual clothes but even from this distance you could see the earpiece's cable running down the back of his neck and the small walkie talkie on his waist band. It wasn't a posting he usually took and you walked over to where he remained unmoving, staring out into the small forest that lined the back of the house's boundary. As you got closer, he turned his head to the approaching noise, expression the same as always, bored and calm. Hange had said he looked like shit but this man certainly didn't. Instead he had his usual air of superiority and give-a-fuck stance.

Silver eyes flickered as you drew level, and he passed his gaze down your form. "Going for the wet look today, (F/N)?" The damp hair that was plastered to your head reminded you that your body hadn't been dried properly when you put your clothes on and looking down you saw a blotch of darker fabric on your t-shirt, making it stick to your skin. 

"Something like that." Levi moved to continue his stare into the trees and you felt your heart pounding as you took a deep breath, ready to ask a question that you were sure wouldn't be answered.

"What happened last night? Are you ok? And don't tell me you're fine because I could tell you're not. Let me help." He didn't make any signal that he had heard, just ran his eyes over the woods. You stayed quiet, allowing him to consider his response in his own time. Expecting some witty or sarcastic comment, you were surprised with his lengthy reply. 

"What that woman said to both of us could be taken any way we want. That's the fucking point. Keep it vague, let people cling on to it like a shitty comfort blanket. Everyone's got something they're waiting or wishing for, which encompasses your prediction. And also, each one of us has something we feel guilty about, past or present. And that was mine." Levi paused for reflection, shifting his feet to a more comfortable pose. "So regardless of how much it may have seemed to be fucking accurate, I realised that it's all bullshit."

The sound of birds filled the otherwise silent moment and you started to think how he hadn't actually answered your question when the voice spoke again, softer and tinged with regret. "Which brings me on to my own personal guilt. I'm not prepared to go into it all now, but I will. One day." Not pressing the issue, you instead nodded, accepting the fact that he had given you a small insight into his life along with the reassurance that his dark distress from last night had abated somewhat. 

"Levi?" A lack of reply allowed you to continue. "You know where I am if you want to talk. Or need to." Now it was his turn to nod and with a small sigh he changed the subject.

"I suppose that dickhead is coming here today?" Wincing at the reality, you groaned. 

"Yep. Course he fucking is. But it gets worse." A dark glare met your apologetic (e/c) eyes, waiting for the bad news. "He wants to go out. Shall I get someone else to come?" Levi faced you fully, body turning to meet yours. 

"No way. I need to keep an eye on that fuck wit. And you." His last two words were once more said with a humour that you picked up on instinctively as he continued. "What time are we expecting the asshole?" You glared at the sky, trying to figure out the time by the sun but failing miserably. 

"Three. God knows how long I've got before I have to go through this shit again."

The dark haired man blinked once and replied like it was an obvious answer. "Well it's nearly one o'clock, so two hours?" How he managed to guess temporal space without a watch still amused you and Levi looked down at the smile that lit up your face. "Mike's relieving me soon. Plenty of time for a game of chess if you fancy it?" Grinning widely, you raised an eyebrow, mocking your friend. 

"Want to get your ass kicked again?" A small smirk tugged at his lips and you started to forget about the impending outing as he spoke. 

"We'll see. Although I bet it's your ass that's going to get pounded this time (F/N)."

~~~~~

You'd put a new top on and sorted your locks and make up quickly, happy to do it yourself today. Anything Hange did was exquisite, but it felt nice to be free of clips and hair spray. Now you sat on the floor with crossed legs in front of the coffee table in your room, Levi on the sofa considering his next attack. In your mind you were five steps ahead and you saw the look of concentration that made his lips thin and brow furrow, wondering how far he was thinking into the future. As before, the distraction elicited an open conversation, both of you finding it easier to talk honestly when there was something else as the main focus.

"I don't mind if you want someone else to come out, Levi."

"Don't be fucking soft. What, are you scared of hurting my feelings or something?"

"I guess so." He placed a pawn down and instantly you moved your own, challenging him to retort with a wooden piece.

"Well you won't. I'm a big boy, (F/N). And I'm well aware of the situation."

"Ok. If you're sure. It won't be for long anyway. He'll be gone for the rest of the week again I presume. Thank fuck." The next move was made, a predictable one and you countered it flawlessly. It was quiet a while, brains ticking over until Levi's voice quietly filled the bedroom.

"It's my friend. I go and see him every Friday morning."

"That's what you feel guilty about?"

"Mmm hmm. Check." You'd expected it and shifted the queen to remove the threat.

"You don't have to tell me everything."

"I know (F/N). I'm not sure I want to just yet."

"I can wait for you to be ready, Levi. I'm a patient lady."

"Lady? Pull the fucking other one." He took out your bishop, allowing you to make the penultimate move.

"Don't be mean. Just because I can curse like a marine it doesn't automatically follow that I can't be a lady. As well you know."

"Tch." The piece he placed down was as you had planned and with a sweet smile, you looked up to meet his gaze as you delivered the last move.

"Check mate. Now, I think you owe me a fucking apology?" Levi frowned and looked down at the board. How had this woman done it again? Slowly he realised - he'd been clouded by fake moves, made to think the game was going in one direction when in fact you'd been pulling him into a false sense of security. 

"Well fuck me, (F/N). I guess you're not just a pretty face, you sly little shit." Shrugging, you tried to look like an unsuspecting, fragile girl. 

"What can I say?" The look of respect and disbelief mixed together on his face made you swell with pride and the two of you locked equally bright eyes in a moment that neither one wanted to leave behind right now.

Levi felt his heart rate increase, something that rarely happened even when working out and he saw your chest moving quicker than normal breaths should cause, both people totally caught up in a small show of emotion. He moved ever so slightly, looking like he was going to get up and your stomach jumped, spinning with the anticipation of what might be coming. The moment was broken by a knock at the door and a flurry of Hange. Must use the lock more, you thought and glared up at the newcomer. "Isn't this civilised." She glanced over the board and smiled. "So I see (F/N) is still the master? I recognise that layout." Your friend used to play you, but not anymore. There were only so many losses she could suffer. "Anyway, fuck face is here."

You groaned and stood, brushing yourself down and giving Levi a look that conveyed apology but also acknowledgement of what you had just been thinking. A flash of silver let you know it was reciprocated and with a slightly lifted soul, you filed out to meet your sham of a boyfriend. Just before you shut the door, a sound told you a text was coming through and you ran back in, not one to receive that many messages. The words shot into your brain and heart at the same time, a sick feeling washing over you. Two sets of eyes were full of questions and your whispered reply made the others frown.

"Annie wants to meet."


	7. Work And Play

A reply hadn't been sent to Annie yet, it was too much to try and think about now. The grinning face that waited at the front door enraged your whole being and you heard Levi mutter something deeply offensive from where he followed behind. It lightened the mood slightly and you glanced round before anyone else could see your smile but him. A slight flick of the eyebrows was offered and you pressed your lips together to stop a laugh. By the time you reached the brunette and your father, any sign of enjoyment was gone and the kiss on your cheek made you want to tear Jean's eyes out with your bare hands.

Luckily your dad spoke first. "You kids have fun. Erwin and I will be taking a trip to visit the senator, he's staying one town over this week so I've been invited for the night. No parties, (F/N)." He waved his finger at you in a mock show of warning, knowing that it was definitely one thing he didn't have to worry about. The blonde security man involved in the journey appeared, his form eclipsing everyone, even Jean's muscular body. 

"I'm sure Levi will keep her in check, Mr (L/N)." What happened next was just too good and you memorized it so it could be recalled in the future if you ever needed cheering up.

Jean's face dropped, making it longer than usual, his light eyes darkening a shade at the realisation that your father was making such an important visit without you and therefore without him. He hadn't met a senator before and no doubt it would be a golden opportunity to place himself in a position that would further his selfish goals. He looked utterly dejected and with fiendish mirth you watched his expression change once more at Erwin's words, morphing into one of distaste along with what seemed to be jealousy. It might be a fake relationship, but he obviously didn't want you fraternising with or being kept 'in check' by anyone else. All of it happened so quickly, but it was delicious to see the previously smiling wanker of a man turn into someone who looked like he'd just been punched.

"I know, Erwin. He's certainly one of the best." Levi bowed his head slightly in acknowledgement and thanks to your father and you saw him give Jean a look that screamed of superior one-upmanship. Your pretend lover had taken all he could and placed a hand on your dad's arm. 

"A minute, if possible?" The two excused themselves and moved away, out to the elegant gardens. 

"Oh dear, Levi. Looks like someone's not best pleased." Glancing up at his boss, the shorter man held out a hand in a show of oblivious innocence. 

"What? I behaved myself?" The hearty laughter of your father's bodyguard echoed through the hall, but you peered outside, wondering if Jean was in fact complaining about your protection detail.

In the garden, you father listened carefully to his daughter's partner, seeing the pleading in the eyes of the tall man. "Perhaps, if I could be so bold, I might join you? Of course, I don't like the thought of letting (F/N) down for our date today, but I truly believe it would be excellent experience for me to learn from. Watch you in action, get the sense of how you work?" The other gent seemed to be considering it. Jean was certainly coming along in the ways of political debate and held himself impeccably. If this man was to become your husband one day, he might as well be brought into the circle and he was correct in supposing this would undoubtedly be a good lesson in diplomacy.

"Very well. How long will it take for you to gather your things? We're due there at five." Jean held back the urge to punch the air in achievement and smiled widely. 

"No time at all, Sir. No time at all." He spun and went to run for the car, almost forgetting to keep up the pretence. Trying to style it out, he changed direction and hurried to where the woman stood, confusion on her annoying face and he placed a strong kiss on the lips he hated but needed right now. "I've been invited to go with your father, sorry (F/N). Next weekend?" The news was music to your ears and you did your best to look upset, holding back the grin. 

"Oh well. I suppose it'll be a good opportunity, Jean. Have fun." You held each other's glares for a few seconds, making it clear how much animosity was there, but your small, simpering smiles never faltered.

And he was gone, rushing off to make the short drive home to pack a small bag. Your dad gave you his apologies and you brushed them off, mumbling something about how it was more important than a lunch date and you had to stop yourself from skipping away, Levi in tow. "So, what are you going to do with your freedom, (F/N)?" There was mischief in his silky voice and you smirked over. 

"Extra training?" Despite the sparks between you earlier at the chess board, something inside prevented you from doing anything about it just yet, enjoying the playful exchanges and teasing looks. Levi was caught up in the chase also and followed you closely as you ran upstairs to change, eyes devouring the body that would surely be his soon. But not yet. This flirtatious stage was still too satisfying.

Both ready, you walked to the gym in silence and you saw the car leave, signalling the start of their short visit. A weight had been lifted and you bounced into the small sparring room, gloves in place, waiting for the lesson with excitement. The usual blocks were carried out for warm up, conversation held with connected eyes.

"I've got an idea but you might not fucking like it (F/N)."

"Sounds interesting."

"Get your head out of the gutter. I meant about how to destroy that big fucking idiot."

"I'm listening." You stopped a kick expertly and waited to be let into the plan.

"Seeing as you can be so infuriating, why not use that to your advantage?"

"Sure we're not talking about you, Levi?" In a break from the norm, you attempted your own blow with your right leg, making your teacher mirror your actions.

"Sneaky little shit. Anyway, maybe you could provoke him. I saw the way he fucking looked at you. It probably wouldn't take much to make him snap."

"You're saying you want me to make him attack me?" 

"Why not? We ramp up training, you can defend yourself against any shitty move he's got. But make sure it's in front of people." It was an idea, perhaps a reckless one, but it might work. However, something would mean it was pointless.

"Even if it's successful, he'd just leak that video anyway." Levi had thought about this and let you into the full plan.

"Text Annie back. Meet the piece of shit and we find a way to get it from her. Make sure she hasn't already given it to the prick." It was flawed on so many levels, relying on too many things, but it was worth a try.

"Ok Levi. I'm game. So, let's get down to it." You stepped back, staring over at the man who had shown you so many moves but still refused to let you fight properly. Surely he would need to now. There was a smirk on his lips and the seductive tone of his voice sent you crazy. 

"Alright, (F/N). Last chance. I'm not going to hold back, understand?" With a demure smile, you took one step forward and purred your response. 

"I'd hope not. Give me all you've got." A growl escaped Levi's throat and he felt himself shiver inside at your words, using all of his lust and turning it into power.

Suddenly he was on you, trying to hit your face but you stopped him, pulling his arm round in a painful position. He managed to get out of your grip easily and smiled, pleased with your quick action and the feeling of your hands on his skin. "Not bad, but I'll bet he won't be so calculating." Once more, Levi advanced and threw himself at you, any fear of causing you pain overcome by the need to teach you how to defend against a proper onslaught. Panting now, you blocked and responded with your own blows, discomfort from a punch in your stomach not stopping the momentum. A jab to your ribs made you squeak slightly, but it wasn't enough to incapacitate you.

Levi was certainly not handling you with kid gloves and with puffs and pants you kept up the pace, the two of you circling the room as the fight intensified, pale man ducking away from your kicks but not quick enough to take advantage of the fact you were on one foot momentarily. The conflict paused, both of you staring each other down with equally evil smiles, hands ready to go, breaths coming hard and fast, standing as a testament to how far Levi was pushing himself. You took the next move, making to punch but at the last minute you dropped, sliding over the short space on your knees to grab hold of the weak spot on the back of his legs.

It was something he hadn't seen coming and as he fell, a thought ran through his mind. Chess. He was yet to teach you any distraction techniques or fake moves, meaning that this was an act of diversion which was probably a result of how your brain worked. You didn't give him a chance to regroup and threw yourself on top of the prone body, knees clamped around his hips, weight pressed down and hands gripping his arms. Levi looked up with gleaming eyes, seeing the grin on your face that was as intoxicating as the sweat that made your chest glisten.

"How was that?" It was spoken through ragged breaths, as you were unable to get enough oxygen in to your screaming lungs. He didn't need to answer as a pressure from where you straddled him made itself known. Raising your eyebrows, you stared down into the slightly flushed face below and started laughing; not at him, but at the situation. The lapse in concentration proved fatal and in a second you were thrown off and onto your back, a huff escaping your lips at the contact and instantly you were pinned down, not like you had done but with his whole body pressing onto you, hands holding your wrists above your head, lips centimetres apart. In one quick move, you could take his mouth with yours, give into the desire, but you fought against it with every fibre in your being.

"That's what happens if you don't fucking pay attention." Levi's breath tickled at your face and he flicked his gaze across your features, coming to rest on your slightly open lips. He smiled, seeing how hard you were trying to contain yourself and he felt things were a bit more even now, despite the fact that the bulge in his sweats was still digging into you. Without warning, he disappeared and sat down, looking like he was adjusting his trainers to put them back on his feet. You sat up on your elbows, trying to figure it all out and then your answer burst into the room.

"Thought I'd find you guys here. I saw your lunch date got cancelled, (F/N). Are you ok? Need to let out some tears?" Hange's sarcasm was delivered with precision and once more you were laughing, flopping down on the padded floor again. "Actually, never mind that. Why are you lying down?" Levi replied, grumbling from his hunched position, legs arranged to hide his excitement. 

"She lost fucking concentration, so I threw her down there." The older woman shook her head and helped you up, glaring over at your teacher. 

"Do you have to be so brutal, Levi?" It was your turn to answer and let her in on the scheme you had. She didn't look pleased, concerned for your safety. "That's a terrible idea, (F/N). What if you get hurt?"

Fully composed now, the man stood and got into position. "Show her." Complying with his instruction, you sparred once more, wide eyes watching the fight, their owner clutching her hands to her chest in fear as she heard your growled conversation.

"Come on, you can do better than that, Levi."

"Don't be fucking precious." A punch was thrown and Hange stared in wonder as the usually sedate woman dodged it and sent her own fist into the man's ribs, connecting strongly.

"Stop messing. I thought you weren't going to fucking hold back?" On the last word, you sent another kick his way but it was badly timed and the room spun, body landing face down, weight of another human sitting on top, pushing you down. Levi bent and whispered in your ear, lips brushing your lobe. 

"This is just as pleasing a position, (F/N). Give up?"

You couldn't answer as Hange shouted out. "Ok ok, I get it, just stop please? I can't watch this anymore. I don't know if it's a fight or foreplay and to be honest, it's making me uncomfortable." You felt a smile on your skin and the man sat up but didn't move from where he straddled your waist. 

"If you don't like it, leave. We have fucking work to do here. (F/N) needs to improve her concentration." Managing to turn your head, you saw your friend's blush spreading and grinned, amused by her rare embarrassment. When she spoke again on the way out, you laughed again. 

"You've certainly got something to do, but I'm not sure if it's work." A thump of a door indicated you were alone.

Your giggles were cut off by a mouth on the nape of your neck, not kissing, but tickling your skin as Levi spoke. "Ready to go again?" You let out an involuntary moan, biting your lip to try and stifle it but you weren't quick enough. Again, you felt his smile and tried to regain the upper hand. 

"Sure Levi. I have amazing stamina." A small, breathy laugh sounded out and he stood, allowing you to flip onto your back, watching as he stared down and stretched his muscles as he replied. 

"Good to know. Good to fucking know. Now on your feet. I'm not finished with you yet."

A sound somewhere between a squeal and a cough came from a place deep within and you jumped up, ready and eager to take whatever was coming. But yet again, you were disturbed by a small group. "Sorry guys, we have a taekwondo class. Do you mind?" Slightly unsure of himself, Bertolt spoke kindly and you smiled across at the impossibly tall man. 

"Of course, please come in." Gathering your footwear, you walked out with Levi to fetch water from the fridge, the sounds of a warm up underway in the smaller room. The liquid ran down your throat like it was manna from heaven and you drained the whole bottle in one go with hungry gulps, aware of eyes on you. "What?" Grey orbs twinkled playfully and he spoke quietly. 

"It's also good to know that you're so adept at swallowing, (F/N)." It had been a while since you were affected this way, but you couldn't help but blush, noting the growing smirk on the man's face.

"Shut up Levi. I need a fucking shower. And so do you. A cold one." The smug figure followed you back to the house, watching your every move. At the first floor, you stopped and turned. "Do you think I can take him on?" Your instructor nodded. 

"If you can manage to pin me, even if it wasn't for long, then you can take that fucking idiot down. Text that friend of yours. Let's get this clown out of our lives." He swept off to climb to his floor and you smiled, exhausted but satisfied. Picking up your phone, you opened the message and replied, asking when and where curtly but with politeness. Like she had been waiting for you, a quick answer came through. Tomorrow at eight, at the pub where you'd first met. Confirming, you wondered what she wanted, but also knew what you were hoping to gain from the meeting.

After your shower, you looked at your appearance in the mirror, bruises already forming, mainly on your stomach and ribs. It didn't bother you, they were there because you trained hard and were in a position to fight back well, the purple patches making you proud. Sure, your whole body would ache in the morning, but again it would be a reminder of your work. Dried and dressed, you rushed downstairs, hoping to catch the chef before he started dinner, wanting to make something yourself for the staff today. You had a new idea to try out and needed a willing audience. Luckily, nothing was underway and you found the man in the pantry, shuffling through produce.

"Ah, hello (F/N). Come to relieve me of duty again?" You grinned, watching the blonde man turn after he had tried to hide a bottle of liquor unsuccessfully, but you didn't mention it. All you knew was he had apparently seen some terrible things during his service in the army and might even have some kind of PTSD. If drinking helped, then why the fuck not. 

"Hey Hannes. Would you mind?"

He smiled from under his thin moustache, cheeks slightly flushed and he nodded in reply. "Knock yourself out. Probably be better than anything I could do right now." There was a slight hint of sorrow in his voice and he rubbed the back of his head absent mindedly. 

"Are you ok? Need anything?" The chef shook his head, partly in answer but also due to how kind you were. There was a deep regret inside of him over some of his cowardly actions in the past, thoughts that always invaded his mind this time of year when he was reminded of families that wouldn't be together at Christmas because of him. He had been the chef, granted, but he was trained and in that kind of situation you were expected to pick up a gun and fucking fight when needed, not hide behind alcohol and freeze up at the first sign of danger.

Pushing it away, he placed a hand on the woman's shoulder, patting it with gratitude. "Thanks, (F/N). I think I just need a lie down." With concern, you looked into his eyes carefully, conveying that you were here if needed. 

"Good idea, Hannes. I'll do breakfast too. Have a rest, don't stress out over us lot. Please?" He laughed, wrinkled eyes matching the sound. 

"Ok, (F/N), I won't argue with that. You're a darling." The smell of the bourbon was strong when he leant in and gave you a peck on the cheek and you wondered if it was fate that made you decide to cook, surely avoiding the house being burnt down or the whole staff getting food poisoning. As he shuffled off, you sighed and set about fetching what you would need.

It was nearly dinner time and you watched the pans carefully, not wanting to overcook anything and checked the ovens regularly. Aware of the door swinging, you kept your eyes forward, engrossed in your task. "So this is where you're fucking hiding. Aren't you the good little housewife?" Grinning, you stirred a pan with one hand and wiped the other on your apron. 

"I'm an all-rounder, Levi. My skills know no bounds." When he spoke again he was ridiculously close, right by your side without having made a sound when he crossed the room. 

"I'll be the judge of that, (F/N). We have fighting, chess, cooking and being annoying on the list so far. What else shall we add? Hmm?"

Still facing the food, you felt that spark in your stomach again and a heat growing from below as you answered. "What would you like on the list?" You were aware of him leaning on the counter on his elbow, chin in hand and you glanced over at the self satisfied look on his face, smirk on his lips as he replied, hair falling slightly to one side. 

"How long have you got?" As seemed to be the order of the day, someone walked in, disturbing you once more. 

"Not long enough, it seems," you grumbled. "I have customers." Levi watched as you served up food to the hungry staff, each of them full of thanks and appreciation as they took their plates to the smaller dining room to eat. Two were notably absent, Mike and Bertolt, both being on duty outside right now and you dished up for them, placing the meals in the oven that was turned on low to keep them warm.

Holding up a spatula, you waved it across to the man that gazed over. "How about you? Want some?" He smiled, but shook his head. 

"Save me a plate. I've got to go relieve Mike. Shitty gate duty until the off site fuckers turn up. Did you text your friend?" Nodding, you expertly created his dinner, putting it in with the other two. 

"Yep. Tomorrow at 8. Is that ok?" Again, the voice that replied was closer than it had been before. 

"Of course. Be my pleasure. Now don't forget to clean up. This place is a fucking mess. Hang on." He leant over and rubbed his thumb on your cheek, softly and with care. Holding it up, he explained. "I hope that was flour." Levi washed his hands and rid himself of the ingredient, leaving you with a parting shot. "I'll be back for that in a couple of hours. Plenty of time to get this kitchen fucking shining."

~~~~~~

Your father had returned early Sunday evening, thankfully without Jean. He was full of admiration for the man though, regaling you with stories about the major's abilities, how he was being moulded into the next big thing. You listened without interest and gratefully bid him farewell as he opted for an early night, the one before having been a very late. Now you sat in your room, smoking and waiting for the time to tick around, stomach in knots at what Annie might want to see you for, but also how you were going to react to being in her presence again.

Hange yet again made you convinced that the lock on the door would be put to good use from now on and strode in. "Hey (F/N), whatcha doing?" Smiling over, you saw a package in her hands. 

"Waiting. Going to meet Annie soon." She sat down next you on the window seat and looked at you closely. 

"Be careful. I don't like this situation." Nodding, you glanced down to the parcel that was now on her lap. 

"What's that?" Hange reacted like she'd totally forgotten about the bundle and ripped it open, holding up a gorgeous dark green dress, covered in sparkles. 

"My dress for Saturday. What are you going to wear?" It was a tradition - the week before Christmas the members of the household had a party, celebrating yule together as most of the staff would return home for two weeks, including Hange usually. Levi always remained and you hoped he would this year too.

"It's beautiful," you breathed, touching the fabric that would compliment her perfectly. "No idea what I'm wearing. Maybe that black one with the low back?" No one else would be invited, it was a private affair, so you could wear something that would usually be considered a no-no. The fervent nod you received in response cemented your idea and you grinned at her excitement. 

"It's a bit low at the front too, if I remember correctly. Why don't you wear that push up bra, give yourself a bit of a lift?" Hange grabbed your breasts and demonstrated, right at the moment Levi walked in. Definitely using the lock now.

His face was a picture, confusion and amusement combined and he raised his brows, smirk playing on his lips. She didn't move though, hands still squeezing your flesh and you cleared your throat. "Oops, sorry (F/N). Apologies, Levi. I'll leave you to that." Hange winked and giggled as she ran out, dress over her arm. 

"How do you put up with that?" He was pointing down the hall, disgust now on his features. 

"Oh she's harmless. Come on. Let's find out what's going on."

Taking your usual route, you passed the unfamiliar man at the gate, but he knew Levi and just nodded, unaware that this wasn't supposed to be happening. The journey was quiet for a while until a low voice spoke. "My friend I visit? He's in a psychiatric hospital. I moved him to it recently. The one back home was fucking shit and too far away." You remained silent, letting him tell you what he was comfortable with today. "His name's Farlan and we grew up together, closest thing to family that I've got. But he's getting worse. Refuses meds and I've told the hospital not to fucking force him unless he gets violent. I don't like the idea of being drugged against your will and that shit turns him into a vegetable."

Your destination was reached and you paused, waiting to see if Levi needed to let any more of the solemn story out. His face was unreadable and he sighed. "I'll go in first, stay close just in case." It would be a matter of allowing him to tell you piece by piece, but that was fine, it was obviously hard for him to open up. He scanned the pub with a trained eye, but no one looked up apart from a blonde woman. The place was covered in bright and festive decorations, making him feel itchy for some reason. Levi took up position by the bar, gaze on alert as he watched you approach the table that had two bottles of beer on it. 

"Annie." You hadn't sat down, but there was something on her face that softened you. Sitting, you looked over and noticed she couldn't hold your stare, with good fucking reason, you thought. Sipping the drink, you once more stayed quiet to allow her to speak.

"Oh (F/N), I'm so sorry. I feel fucking awful." When you replied, the venom in your voice was clear and she finally looked up. 

"All for a bit of money? How much did he give you? Was it worth it?" Annie frowned more than usual and you started to realise there was much more to this as she explained. 

"Money? He didn't pay anything, told me that if I didn't do it he'd send the pictures he had to the local press and my parents." Your own scowl deepend, and you gestured with your beer to tell her to carry on. "Mum and dad are prominent members of the clergy around here and I guess like you, they don't have a clue what I get up to." Shit. This was even deeper than you had imagined, it was totally calculated and planned meticulously. You wondered who had taken the pictures of her.

"Did he show you them?" She nodded, desperation in her face that made you reach over and grab her hand as she let you in to the whole situation. 

"Me dancing at a club, drinking, taking drugs, even one of me with that girl from the bar, you remember?" You did. It had been a great night around two months ago and Annie had gotten hold of an attractive brunette, ending up in the ladies restroom with her for twenty minutes. "He didn't get one of us in the act, if you follow. Just kissing. But that's enough, that would destroy me and my family. It's a small town, everyone would know." Nodding, you squeezed tightly and asked another important question. 

"Did he take them?" Your friend sighed. 

"Yes. Well, he said he did. Told me he'd followed us there. He found me again not long after."

Moving on, you started to probe. "Ok, Annie. Has he got the video of me?" She nodded. 

"On a USB. But he could have copied it and my pictures. Jesus, what the fuck is he after?" As you explained the whole situation, her eyes widened, shocked at how far someone would go to get ahead in life and she gasped once the full, cruel tale was completed. "What a fucking bastard." You downed the remainder of your beer and slammed the bottle on the table. 

"I know. And Annie? I'm sorry. This is all because of me. Well, him, but you know what I mean." She shook her head. 

"No, (F/N). Don't apologise. No one could have guessed what that sick fuck was going to do."

Smiling weakly at each other, you shared a moment of combined depression, sullenly wondering what was going to happen. Your thoughts were broken by a presence, a large man with the same blonde hair as your friend's, only brighter. "Hey Reiner. I don't see you in years and now you're everywhere!" Annie tried to seem light and carefree to her old school friend, but the man's strangely constant frown was on you, eyes looking like you were his prey, grimace evil and dark. 

"Sorry Annie. Catch up another time. I'm here for her." Levi watched as the giant approached your table, tense and ready to go at the drop of a hat. Your friend seemed to know the guy though and he kept a close eye as you spoke to the man too.

"What do you mean, me?" Reiner's grin widened and he bowed down slightly, height requiring the movement if he was to be quiet. 

"Well I read up about you. Worth quite a bit, I understand. And I'm in a bit of a cash flow situation. So, you're coming with me if you don't want your little friend to get hurt." You saw the flash of a blade and sat back, hearing a few shocked voices that belonged to fellow drinkers who had spotted the knife too. The huge man faltered. He hadn't thought this through and in an instant he found himself disarmed and forced through the open door of the establishment, on his ass in seconds. Looking up, he gaped at the small, angry person standing over him, unable to fathom how he had overcome his mass. The raven haired man spat his words down at the figure on the ground.

"Get the fuck out of here and never come near them again, or I'll break your fucking body. Clear?" There was something in his eyes that meant business and that combined with the way he had been able to knock him down made Reiner scrabble away, stumbling to his feet and disappearing into the night. Levi turned and found the two women behind him, scared faces looking to him for safety. That was his job and that's what he would do. The bartender held up a hand in amazed thanks and your bodyguard nodded once in recognition before leading you and Annie away. "Where do you live?" As you hurried along, silver eyes darted around, completely aware of the surroundings and he was provided with the address. "Not far. Come on. And tell me what the fuck is going on."

The rushed journey was filled with the explanation of the extent of Jean's twisted plan and culminated in Reiner's threat. At the gate of the large home, you hung back so no one would see, aware of how much discretion was key to the kind of life that required sneaking out for one beer. Levi took it all in and turned to the stern blonde. "I can't protect you. I suggest you stay in a while. It might sound over the fucking top, but this shit just got messy." You gave Annie a hug, making her promise to take the advice and made sure she got inside. Once you were happy she was safe, you started to make your way home.

Most of the way you chattered incessantly, scenarios and plots spilling out about how you would deal with Jean, was Reiner going to come back, what about the woman he had been with at the castle? Not drawing breath, you moved on to the next point. "But I mean it's fucked up, right? Two months ago? Who the fuck thinks that far ahead in life, takes pictures that might be useful one day, am I fucking stupid to think…." You weren't allowed to continue as a set of warm and forceful lips were pushed against your mouth, strong, unmoving kiss lasting a few seconds. Levi pulled back and glared down. All you could do was stand with your jaw slack and eyes wide. 

"Good. It fucking shut you up at least."

He took your hand and pulled you in the direction of home, glad that you had stopped talking shit, but also full of electricity at eventually having been able to make such a move. Part of him wanted you to start up again, give him an excuse, however he knew you had to get back to the house and the safety it provided. You were in a slight state of shock, having waited for what seemed like a lifetime to feel his lips on yours and now it had happened, you felt like your body might melt. His reasons didn't bother you and you smiled in the darkness, running your tongue across what had just been claimed. Levi noticed but said nothing, smirking at how he had affected you with the gesture. Things were stepping up a notch and he felt a longing deep inside that wouldn't be contained for much more time.

At your bedroom door, he was about to say something but you both frowned as voices filtered out. Familiar ones. Walking in, you saw Erwin and Hange at the window seat, cigarettes on the go, something you only saw her do occasionally and him never. You and Levi exchanged a glance and he shut the door quietly as you waited for what you hoped would be a decent reason for their presence. And it was.

"Erwin's got something to tell you about Jean, and you won't fucking believe it."


	8. Confessions

Erwin cleared his throat and looked over at you and Levi, eyes full of stress and huge brows knotted together as he dragged on the cigarette. There was a bottle of bourbon in his hand too and you dreaded to think what was coming. "Should I be sitting down for this?" Your query was met by a nod and you complied, lighting your own smoke and passing the pack to the man who slid in closely next to you on the sofa, not caring how it might look right now. The others gave no sign of being bothered by it and you felt comforted by the warm leg that pressed against yours. 

"Ok, (F/N). Just listen, questions and comments after?" The head of security spoke quietly and the look on Hange's face told you that this was serious to the man, but also that Erwin was still unaware of what the three of you knew. "Alright." The large man swigged at the drink and brought you up to speed quickly. "Last night there was a lot of drinking, not on my part, but Jean was fucked. I mean totally wasted. Everyone else had gone to bed and I stayed up to make sure he was ok, you know? The right thing to do?" Another mouthful was taken and he passed the bottle over to you, making you fearful of why you might need it. Regardless, you took your share and gave it to Levi. "So there I am, sitting with a cigar, and he came over…." Erwin seemed reticent, but now you had an idea of what was about to be said and nodded for him to carry on. "Right. He came over and sat on my lap. On my fucking lap, (F/N). I'm trained and prepared for most things, ready to make a decision that might have repercussions on others, put myself and those around me in danger, but I wasn't ready for that."

Despite your orders to remain quiet, you had to alleviate the man's discomfort. "Sorry Erwin but I can't stay silent. I know. We all know." The massive eyebrows got even closer together, creating one mass of small hairs and he looked at Hange. 

"You knew he was gay? And you let me sit here and worry?" Not wanting to let your friend take the brunt, you spoke again. 

"It wasn't her place to say. Please. Continue." He seemed less concerned now, obviously worried about how you would take the news, not about what had happened. 

"Well that makes this easier. He tried to kiss me, mumbling on about liking a real man, so I politely declined." No more information was given on that point and you could only imagine the awkward moment.

"I guess it's flattering, but at the time and until now, I thought you had no idea. That's why I was so bothered by it all. So, you knew? Care to explain while I stop having a heart attack?" Between the three of you, the whole situation was laid out, including the most recent of events. The bottle was passed around equally and after a moment of silence, Hange spoke up. 

"Mother fucker." Nodding sagely as if she had just come out with a philosophical statement, you held up the bourbon in agreement. 

"Totally. Who does that?" No one had anything more to offer, just quiet reflection.

"We need to do something. Get his evidence. Fuck him over." All eyes were on Levi, but nothing more was offered, just silent acceptance. Hange stood and grabbed Erwin's shoulder to steady herself, not used to the strong alcoholic substance. 

"Well. I need to get to bed. (F/N) does too. From what I can tell, Hannes is in no condition to do much, so if you don't mind, breakfast is on you again." This morning's offering had gone down well and you had no problem providing another feast. 

"Of course, no bother." You sighed, unsure of what was going to happen next with Jean but undoubtedly it would be difficult.

Erwin was on his feet and he placed an arm around Hange, helping her along the way as she mumbled. "C'mon Levi. Let her get some sleep." She grabbed at him, holding on tightly. "We all know you can't be trusted together." Large brows were raised and a hearty laugh sounded out as the three left your room, silver eyes flashing back at you with mischievous intent, a smooth voice bidding you farewell. 

"See you, (F/N)." Grinning, you watched the door close and went to turn the lock, putting into practice your new resolution. Leaning against the wood, you smiled again and moved away to undress, pyjamas sought out and clothes in a pile on the floor. Showering could wait til morning and you slid into bed after washing your face and brushing your teeth, head spinning with thoughts, not allowing you to rest yet. Annie. The video. Pictures. Erwin and Jean's awkward liaison. That kiss. It was prominent in your mind as you finally drifted off into a deep sleep.

~~~~~

Eggs were cooking constantly and you kept the bacon warm on a hotplate, rushing around to make toast on demand and ensuring everything ran smoothly. Hange shuffled in to the kitchen, eyes bleary and glasses slightly tilted on her head. She couldn't have had that much to drink, surely, but still here she was, the epitome of a hangover. With a smirk you filled a plate for her, giving your friend the fried, fatty food that would help her recover. "Thanks, (F/N). God I feel like shit." Pulling up a stool, she decided to eat in here, digging into her breakfast with determination and you passed a hot coffee over, getting a grunt of gratitude. 

"How much did you even drink, Hange?" She shook her head, sausages stuffed in her mouth. 

"I don't know. Too much apparently."

Smiling, you went back to the tea that was brewing, sure it had been more than the prescribed four minutes. As you poured, the scent filled your nostrils and you breathed in deeply, a smell that reminded you of one particular man. "That was six minutes. Sloppy." You turned and stuck up your middle finger, but grinned despite the gesture. Levi had yet again materialised from nowhere to tell you off, his ability to turn up just when you needed chiding still a source of amusement. 

"Just drink it. At least I managed to time it for when you arrived." He looked down into the mug, swirling the liquid and casting an expert eye over your attempt. 

"Tch. Better than nothing I suppose."

Once everyone had been fed, you made your own toast and sat with Hange, watching as she held her head in her hands, pulling her face back to try and rid herself of the aching throb in her temples. "I blame Erwin. Where is he today? He needs talking to." Patting her hand, you swallowed your food and pointed out the harsh truth. 

"He didn't force it down your throat, you know. Maybe stay away from that stuff in future?" Levi joined you, standing close to where you sat up on the stool, unseen hand reaching over to brush lightly against your thigh. He spoke to the other woman, all attention seemingly on her, but kept up his small motions on your leg, making you gulp and hold back a moan. 

"I agree. You look fucking terrible. Go sort yourself out."

With a sullen expression, she slid off the stool and trailed away, hopefully to take some pain killers and lie down to sleep it off. Now alone, you turned to see those dangerous eyes that pierced into yours and you glanced down at his hand that now just lay on your denims. Looking back up to the smirking man, you raised a brow, silently asking what he thought he was doing. "Oh, I'm sorry (F/N). Do you not like it?" You tilted your head, matching his smug expression and speaking sweetly. 

"Carry on, by all means. I don't mind sitting here and letting all these dirty dishes stay out." Something crossed his features and you saw his lip twitch, sure that there was some kind of internal struggle going on, mind being pulled between physical contact and cleanliness. 

"You little shit. Come on, get this place cleaned up, then we can train. Can't let you fucking slack off."

He stood and watched you tidy and wipe down the surfaces, making sure you had been thorough, inspecting your work with a cold eye. As you closed the dishwasher and turned it on, you felt your heart pounding in your chest as Levi got closer to the one thing you had intentionally left. There was no good reason why you had done it, the only thought process running through your head at the time was a need to playfully fuck with him, pay him back for just standing back and letting you do all the work. As his prowl halted, you nearly squeaked and stared over as he glared down at the smear of butter that was on one of the counters, every inch around it pristine. "What the fuck is this?" A delicate finger pointed down and he slowly turned to scowl at you with distaste. 

"Butter, Levi. Must have missed it. You know where the cleaning products are."

In seconds he was in front of you, pushing you back against the rumbling machine that was currently cleaning the dishes, hands either side of you tightly gripping the metal object. "Wipe it up." You held his gaze, defiantly challenging him. 

"No." His mouth moved slightly, a small smirk tugging the corners up. 

"No? Are you fucking stupid? You do know we're training next, yes? I can make it very, very hard for you." Smiling widely, you leant forward, nearly touching noses and whispered. 

"I know. I've been treated to that experience before." Neither of you moved for a moment, but then Levi angled his head slightly to the side, an almost imperceptible gesture but you held your breath, the look in his eyes telling you exactly what he was about to do.

But it didn't come. Instead he strode off, leaving you pressed against the washer and your breath came out in a loud huff of exasperation as he spoke. "Clean it. I can keep this up for a long fucking time." He pushed out of the swinging door, pounding down the hall to return to his room and get ready for the gym session, stomach in knots. How he had been able to keep his cool he didn't know, self control at it's limit as he wanted nothing more than to kiss your perfect lips right there and then, giving no shits about who might have walked in. Today he would make you work the punch bag. Anything with close contact would surely send him over the edge and he wasn't done toying with you yet, the look in your (e/c) orbs just now had been captivating and full of yearning. And Levi was well aware that you were playing with him too, a fact that made him smile as he entered his living quarters.

~~~~~~

"Harder." You were throwing your knee into the leather, pace relentless, power evident as you imagined it was that blackmailing piece of shit. Letting out cries of exertion, you blocked out anything else, using your hatred to enhance the movements. "Switch." Seamlessly, you changed to use your slightly weaker leg, but gave it as good as you were capable of. Levi held the bag still, pushing against each blow, watching as the woman seemed to be clouded by anger, mind set on one thing alone. He gazed at the determination on your flushed face, a few strands of hair sticking slightly to your forehead. Despite the fact it meant you were getting dirty with sweat, he found it incredibly attractive, a sign of your effort and concentration.

That reminded him. Keeping alert was one thing you needed to work on, that had been made clear on Saturday, so he made a rather cheeky move. The bag swung and came up to meet you, your rhythm broken, sending you stumbling backwards with a shout as you sat down hard on the floor. Levi's face was infuriating, the embodiment of self satisfaction as he gazed down at you. "Fuck off, Levi. That wasn't fair." He shrugged and steadied the leather item that still swayed. 

"Concentration, (F/N). That's the lesson of the day." Wiping the back of your hand across your brow, you grumbled a variety of expletives as you picked yourself up, glaring at the man. "I told you I could make it fucking hard. Now pay attention."

Again you made the same movements, but this time when the bag came close, you dodged and kicked it away, watching as it was brought back in to the strong hands for you to continue. Every time he sent it a different direction and at a different speed and force, making you focus on the unknown and causing you to adapt your motions fluidly. The final swing was carried out, a huge arc and you scowled at it, ready to attack, but you were caught off guard as arms wrapped around your waist, throwing your body to the ground, making you cry out with shock. "You never know when there might be two people trying to fucking get you. Be mindful of everything." Levi had made his point, if a little violently and a bottle of water was tossed down. Drinking gladly, your eyes followed the dark haired man as he gathered his things, session over.

"I've got shit to do. Good work today (F/N). You're learning." A hand was offered and you took it, weight picked up with ease as a strong grip pulled. Face to face, you breathed quickly, hungrily gulping in air as the usual unflappable expression stared at your exhausted one. "Go have a nap." Eyes moved down your body, taking in the shining beads of liquid on your collar bone and the small, singular trail that led down between your breasts, a show of how far you had pushed yourself today. "And a fucking shower." Levi raised a hand and placed a finger in your cleavage, wiping the sweat up your chest and neck, and then continued to your chin, tilting your head back slightly. "Filthy." Grey eyes flashed with flecks of molten silver and his touch lingered a while, tiny smile on his lips.

Yet again he left you hanging, strolling away with a decidedly satisfied strut and you called out playfully in the otherwise empty gym. "Don't start something you're not prepared to fucking finish, Levi." Without breaking stride, he shot you a look over his shoulder as the insanely silky voice growled back. 

"No need to worry, (F/N). Remember what you were told? Not long now." The empty words of the psychic suddenly held so much more meaning and you grinned, ready to explode with the tension that had been built up inside like a spring about to uncoil without warning.

~~~~~

Levi was kept busy and Jean hadn't been in contact, so at least one thing was going in your favour. Your father had been backwards and forwards into town all week with Erwin, gathering items for the party on Saturday. He always personally picked the decorations, one more tradition that was being kept alive. It had started with your mother as she enjoyed the markets that sprung up at this time of year and it was something your dad continued, making her a part of it still. It was Thursday evening and you laid on your bed, texting Annie. You were concerned about her, knowing exactly what it felt like to be in her position, but her main worry right now was boredom. That you could sympathise with too and you held a silent conversation, reminiscing about your nights out.

"You think we'll ever be able to do it again (F/N)?"

"Yea I'm sure. Jean will get what he wants soon. And anyway, he might've fucked up. Came on to the head of security the other day when he was drunk lol"

"Omfg no way?! How fucking funny!"

"Poor guy didn't know what to do! I'd love to have seen it"

"Sounds hot if you ask me :)"

"Pervert"

"Slut"

"Whatever. You got any plans for xmas Annie?"

"Nah staying here"

"Me too. Have to catch up next week or something?"

"Defo. I got to go. Some snotty visitor's here ffs. See ya xx"

Placing your phone down, you sighed and stared at the ceiling, hoping that Jean would just fuck off and die. The sound of a handle being turned and rattled made you grin and a muffled voice came through the secured door. "Let me in." Jumping up, you skipped over and unlocked the entrance, swinging it wide to see Levi standing with his hands behind his back. He brought them round, wine and glasses shown and you stepped aside, securing the metal once more to provide privacy. "Why are you fucking locking yourself in all of a sudden?" You sat next to him on the sofa, the dark circles under his eyes a shade deeper, his usual Thursday look. 

"Because of instances like this. I might have been naked in here." A dull stare met your gaze and he spoke, totally deadpan. 

"So what?" He passed you a drink and you sipped at the red liquid. 

"Well, I didn't know it was you. It might have been anyone. Erwin, Mike, Hannes, Ber…" A hand cut you off, your point having been made clear. 

"Ok I fucking get it."

You drank and smoked together in silence a while and you thought how this was the first time he had wanted to spend time with you on this day of the week. Normally he kept to himself unless you made him go out somewhere and you began to wonder if he was ready to tell you the next part of his sombre story. Levi sighed, confirming your belief and you listened carefully. "We grew up in a home together. His illness only came out in our teens, no one knew what to do with him, no fucker wanted to be anywhere near so I worked my ass off, making nearly enough money to set us up with a place. The rest I got from gambling or stealing." He paused to drink. "I'm not proud of it, but we needed somewhere to go, otherwise we would have ended up on the fucking streets."

The man stayed quiet for a moment and topped up the glasses. "I got a job in security, better paid, but it meant I was always away, taking care of fucking clients instead of Farlan. He spiralled when he was left alone. Sometimes he took his meds, but without me to prompt him, he just forgot about them." A pale hand rubbed across a weary face, preparing to get deeper into the past he wished he could forget, but never would be able to. Levi wanted to let you in, partly to selfishly alleviate his own turmoil, but also to be honest. He trusted you explicitly.

"In the end I got a call one day to tell me he'd been arrested. Tried to rob a grocery store at knife point, rambling on about the birds and fucking monsters that were making him do it. So he was sectioned by the police and there wasn't a single thing I could do. I knew he needed specialist care. I sure as hell couldn't look after him, I dropped the ball, left him to deal with his fucking demons while I went out to earn some money." He shook his head, humourless smile on his face and you realised you were holding his hand tightly. "But as irony would have it, the job was well paying and it meant I could get him in a better place, not the state hospital that treated them like fucking animals. And then I came to work with you. I already said about bringing Farlan over here and they accommodate my requests. I leave at 6, walk for an hour to clear my fucking head and then spend time with him before walking back home. The staff don't give a shit that I want to visit so early in the day. I'm glad I found the place for him."

The strain was etched on Levi's face and for the first time since he started talking, he looked up to meet your gaze. "It's hard. Fucking hard to see him get worse every time I go. I sit and chat shit, I can see Farlan loves the company, but it kills me. I don't know what I'm going to walk into every Friday. Coherent? Drugged? Manic?" Shaking his head, you saw his lips press together, holding in his sorrow. Speaking quietly, you squeezed your grip tighter. 

"Want me to come with you tomorrow?" He couldn't think of a sufficient way to answer, not believing that you had even made such an offer. For a moment he just sat, staring at your beautiful, kind face, unable to speak. You'd had no reservations, no questions, just companionship. Gathering his thoughts, he gave a small smile. 

"Yes please." You nodded once and felt Levi's other hand clasp over yours, trying to put across what he wanted to say but couldn't.

It was enough emotional outpouring for the man and he cleared his throat, sitting up straight and imposing. "You'd better get some fucking sleep then. I'm not taking a zombie with me." Hitting him softly on the arm, you stood to see him out, waiting by the door for a while, neither of you ready to say goodbye just yet. 

"Are you staying for Christmas again?" He nodded, looking around the halls with disinterest. 

"You fucking cooking this year?" That made you laugh, a light chuckle that rang through the corridor. Last time, Hange had stayed for the occasion and insisted on providing for the small group. It was a massive disaster which resulted in a lot of burnt food and many hungry tummies. 

"Yea don't worry. Might actually get to eat something without breaking a tooth." Levi winced at the memory - not that he usually had much of the festive meal, but it was the smell that hung around for days later that had assaulted his senses.

Footsteps approached and a voice reached your ears. "Ah Levi. Just the man." Your father joined you both at the door, thinking nothing of the late evening chat. His daughter was open and kind, talking to anyone and befriending many people along the way. It stood to reason that you'd be close with your bodyguard. "I have a favour to ask. Erwin's got personal business to attend to tomorrow. Would you be able to accompany me to town? I've got a few bits to pick up? Maybe around 1?" Levi nodded. 

"Of course." Your dad smiled, and turned to face his only offspring. 

"And (F/N)? If you still think I'm so stupid as to not know you smoke, leave the door shut so I can't smell it."

With a wink, he looked over at your security detail and you saw a smug smile on both of their faces. "Ok, ok. Sorry dad. But you're just as bad with your cigars." He shrugged and nodded in the direction of the stairs, implying that Levi should come too. 

"Come on. Let's leave the little lady to her beauty sleep. Good night, (F/N)." A kiss was placed on your cheek and you smiled, passing a look to the other man as of to ask where his was. All you got was a raised brow and a slight bow. 

"Night, (F/N)." They walked away, your dad chatting about what he still needed to get for Saturday and as the door was held open for him, a set of grey eyes shot back at you, gaze full of thanks once more. Waving, you let him know it was fine and you locked up, starting your bedtime routine.

Before you could get to sleep, you gasped, remembering what day it was tomorrow. Hoping it wasn't too late, you picked up your phone and dialled, a friendly voice greeting you almost instantly. "Hi (F/N)! What can I do for you?"

"Hi Marco, sorry it's so late. I need to postpone our lesson in the morning, is that ok?"

"Of course, everything alright?"

"Yes, everything's fine, I just have something to attend to. Can we reschedule?"

"I'll be away for the next two weeks for the holidays, how about the next Friday after that?" You weren't sure if the visit to Farlan would become a regular thing, so covered all bases.

"Can we talk dates once you're back? Sorry to be a pain, I just might need to think about changing days?"

"Sure, no problem at all. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Marco. All the best."

~~~~~~

The alarm blared at half five, but you were already awake, lying in bed thinking about what the morning may bring. You hoped that your presence would help, maybe soften the no doubt difficult visit and with a sigh you got up. Once showered, you dried your hair, the faint mist outside letting you know that the temperature had dropped slightly again, down to the lowest it would probably get. Warm top in place, you pulled on your jeans and shoes and grabbed your small bag, phone and cigarettes stuffed in along with your wallet. Just as you had finished, a small knock came from the door and you opened up, met by a stony expression. "Ready?" He sounded tired, looked it too, but who could blame him? Every week he spent a day and a night worrying, beating himself up about the Friday trip. 

"Ready."

The two of you walked slowly and you made sure to match his pace, not wanting to disturb his routine and nodded to the man on duty, yet another off site guard who smiled. The route was one you weren't familiar with, taking a dirt path lined with trees, morning bird song calling out from the swaying branches. A river trickled near by, the soothing sound of water reaching your ears and you started to realise why Levi went this way. It was calming and a good place for quiet reflection. The scent of pine hit your nose, indicating the forest was changing, going from deciduous to evergreen. Dawn chorus was in full flow, chirps and tweets mixed with the harsh call of crows, wings flapping as the humans walked by, disturbing their perch.

The path had a slight incline, leading you upwards and the trail turned, snaking around the thick forest. It led to what could only be described as a breathtaking view. Where you lived was in something of a valley, the town being at the epicentre, all roads leading downwards to it and you had explored the hills and mountains many a time. But not this way. Stopping, you let out a small gasp of wonder, eyes taking in the scenery. Rolling mounds of countryside fell away from the clearing, coming together in a soft ravine, much like you imagined the valley behind used to be hundreds of years ago, a waterway cascading through the middle. Taller mountains lined the right side of the panorama, snow slightly visible at the peaks, proving just how high they were. Rocks were stacked in clumps across the foot hills, making the whole area seem untouched and untravelled by mankind. It was beautiful.

As you stood with an open mouth, you felt a hand take yours tightly. "So you see why I leave so early." It wasn't a question, but you nodded anyway in agreement. 

"How have I never seen this before?" You whispered, not wanting to break the serenity of the moment. Again, not a question that required an answer and none was given. You remained standing together a while, eyes trying to remember every single piece of the vista that sprawled out beneath you. A tug at your hand indicated it was time to go and reluctantly you let yourself be led away down the other side of the small hill. The same dirt path took you to slight civilisation, one building peeking out from towering trees, grounds expansive and well kept. It seemed a nice place to try and calm a troubled mind, nothing like the edifice you had imagined.

The iron gates had a clock set into the intricate curls of metal that adorned the entrance, telling you it was just past seven. They weren't locked and Levi pushed them open, letting you go first. At the main door, the security was evident but not in a brash manner like bars and small windows, just subtle signs that this establishment was secure. A buzzer, keycard pads, no handles on the doors. The man by your side pressed for attention and in a matter of seconds a friendly face appeared, pushing a matching button that released the entry with a click. It swung outwards, a smiling man holding it so the two guests could come inside. "Morning, Levi." The nurse had a white uniform but also a jumper over the top, making it less official and he nodded to you in greeting.

You followed through the main room, a living area with chairs and tables, arts and crafts activities set out ready for the day, large windows letting in lots of natural light. It smelt fresh in here, not the kind of dank aroma one might expect from a less caring home and you really didn't see much that would tell you it was actually a hospital. Reaching the corridors, the first signal of where you were became apparent. Shouts came from one room and a far away yell that turned into a laugh made you shiver. Not in fear, but in sorrow, a deep regret for the anguished souls that lived here. You couldn't even begin to imagine what it must be like.

"How is he?" Levi spoke to the nurse as you approached the relevant room, the same large windows at the end along with a table which had flowers on top making it look like a hotel. 

"She's ok. No meds all week, but no violence or signs of anxiety. Plenty of repetitive behaviour, but that's to be expected." At the door, the man unlocked it with the swipe card and pushed it inwards. "I'll leave it open as usual. I'm right outside." He nodded at Levi and smiled at you, happy to see another visitor. Before you walked in, you frowned. Did he say 'she'? Sensing your confusion, your companion stopped and spoke quietly, realising he hadn't explained exactly what ate away at Farlan's sanity. 

"He's got dissociative identity disorder." Being offered no more than that for now, you nodded and let him go in first.

A sweet, childlike voice sounded out, taking you by surprise. It was like a woman and you heard an excited squeal when Levi came into view. "Big bro! You're here!" As you followed in behind, you saw a tall man with light hair that hung in the middle of his forehead flying across the room to hug his, or her, friend. The smaller of the two returned the embrace strongly and was enthusiastically made to sit down on the small padded sofa. Farlan curled his legs up underneath his body, eyes wide and full of wonder, every single gesture and movement made like it was a young female in here. It fascinated you, the mannerisms amazing and light eyes suddenly saw you standing by the door which swung shut.

"Oh bro, who's this? She's lovely! Here, come over, sit!" You smiled, the energy infectious and as you got close, two hands placed you in between the men. "So what's your name? How do you know my big bro? Isn't he the best? Where do you get your hair done, its beautiful? I can't do anything with mine, it keeps sticking up!" She giggled, a light noise that sounded like tiny bells. Levi reached over behind you and ruffled the blonde locks that were being complained about, an act of love and affection that made you want to cry at the purity of it. 

"Give her a chance, Isabel. One question at a time." The laugh came again and you felt drawn to the person you wholly saw as a woman right now.

The three of you chatted a while and you found yourself enjoying the company. After a time, she darkened visibly, mood changing almost instantly and a small touch on your leg signalled that you should move. Levi shuffled over to occupy the space you had vacated and placed his hands on his friend's shoulders. "You ok?" A shake of the head was given in answer, a sullen but still high pitched voice responding. 

"No. Why did you leave me here? I miss you bro." It was heart breaking and you saw the dark haired man slump in defeat. 

"Isabel, listen. You know it's for the best. I can't…" His voice cracked ever so slightly and you stood with your hands clasped tightly together, nails digging into your skin.

It was quiet, no one saying a word and as quickly as it had come, the accusing tone was gone. "Whatcha been up to? Stolen anything recently?" Levi was jabbed in the ribs playfully and he smiled, a look that was forced. Five minutes later and the door was opened, nurse letting you know the hour was up, time to leave. Hugs were exchanged and a whisper was spoken into your ear. "I like you, (F/N). You can come back any time." You grinned, squeezing back. 

"Thanks Isabel. You're adorable, you know that?" A beaming face appeared, a slight blush on her cheeks and she waved you both off.

Outside, the man led you to the exit and spoke quietly. "We're having a Christmas meal next Thursday, residents, staff, any family or friends that can make it…" Levi didn't let him finish. 

"I'll be there." The nurse smiled and turned to you as he electronically opened the door. 

"You're more than welcome too. It's good for her to get some new company." Smiling, you nodded back. 

"I'd love to, if that's ok?" A nod from the pale man confirmed and you shook hands with the hospital employee, leaving him with goodbyes and thanks.

Once out of the grounds, you passed a cigarette to Levi which he took gratefully, breathing out the smoke in a sigh. "So, you've met Isabel. That was actually quite a good visit. Sometimes it ends up in a fucking shouting match." He looked disappointed with himself, angry that he would rise to it and argue back, but he was only human, unable to hold his offensive tongue all the time. Placing a hand on his chest, you looked up into his grey eyes. 

"I know it's hard, Levi. I can't start to think how hard. I'm here if you need me." He stood for a moment, then threw his arm around your shoulders, starting the long but pretty walk home. 

"Thank you, (F/N)."

It was silent for a while and you thought about how strong he was, wholly patient with his friend, able to communicate with the manifestations of the other personality like they were a totally different person. Not many people would be able to cope with that, you thought and your respect for the man grew. Levi spoke up once you had left the view point behind once more. "They say it's a condition triggered by something traumatic in early life." He snorted a dark laugh. "Sure get plenty of that in a children's home where no one gives a shit about you." You didn't ask any questions, just let him leave that thought out there. It didn't need elaboration.

His mood seemed to have lifted when you reached home, the painful visit over for another week and he remembered what usually happened now. "Still up for training?" You smiled, happy to leave the previous conversation alone unless he wanted to talk about it more. 

"Always am." In your room, you got changed to spar and your heart felt heavy at the situation Levi was in. You made yourself a strong promise to always be there for him whenever he might need you, no matter what time of day.


	9. Mistletoe And Wine

Saturday afternoon was a flurry of bodies, excitement in the air as people enjoyed the festive spirit that had descended on the house. Agency workers would be in later to see to the catering and outside security, letting the staff have a much deserved relax. A huge tree dominated the main entrance hall by the stairs and you stood with a star in your hand, staring at the top and wondering how the fuck you were supposed to get it up there. The space between it and the open staircase was too wide for you to lean over, which is what you had done for the decorations near the summit of the giant conifer. You had no idea if there were any ladders around, but given your balance issues outside of training, you didn't fancy trying that out.

Frowning up, you were aware of a presence by your side. "Well, that's going to be fucking impossible." Levi scowled up at your challenge and also your bright tinsel, the glass and wooden trinkets that hung from the branches. The whole thing made his head hurt and offended his eyes, certainly not one full of yuletide cheer. 

"Tell me about it. I need a fucking crane," you grumbled as another figure joined you, also gazing up. Erwin considered the conundrum and came to a swift solution. 

"If I get you on my shoulders, you might be able to reach?" Looking up at the blonde, you saw nothing but seriousness on his face. He met your stare and held a hand up as if to say 'why not?'.

"Err, ok. But don't drop me. This floor's fucking marble, you know." The large man laughed and got down on one knee, causing a few surprised looks to be shot in your direction. You didn't know what to do, scared of hurting him or choking his neck with your weight and you stood next to the kneeling body, lifting a foot gingerly and then putting it back down, leaning and then straightening again as you tried to figure out what move to make. 

"Tch." Without warning, you were picked up and plonked down on Erwin, holding on to his broad shoulders to try and stay still as he spoke. 

"Thanks Levi. Now (F/N), stop wriggling. I've got you." Strong hands gripped your thighs and he stood slowly, a small crowd now gathered to watch the ridiculous scene. You wobbled, screeching out and grabbing handfuls of blonde hair. "Ow, stop that, I'm going to drop you!" A few laughs echoed in the hallway and you released your grip with a mumble. 

"Sorry, Erwin." He sighed and walked forwards to the tree, as close as he could get and told you to give it a go. Stretching as far as you could without falling into the decorated item, you placed the star on top. It slid to the side, so you tapped it back up and everyone held their breath. The golden shape stayed still and you clapped once, happy with your achievement. Your ride stepped back and you began to panic. "How do I get down?" Erwin started to move again and you felt decidedly unsafe. "Urgh!" You flailed and spun your arms to try and stay upright, but gravity took hold and before the man you sat on could grab anything, you fell backwards with a shriek, audience gasping.

It wasn't exactly a great height, but it still scared you until something soft broke your fall. The crowd made a sound like they were watching fireworks and you opened your eyes that had previously been screwed tightly shut to look up into silver orbs, realising you'd been caught bridal style by Levi. "You're welcome," he growled before setting you down on your feet, small applause coming from the people gathered. Hange burst in, eyes wide and voice shrill. 

"What did I miss? What did I miss?!" Hannes laughed and turned to the frantic woman. 

"(F/N) got up on Erwin's shoulders to do the star, fell off and Levi caught her. You should have seen it, so funny." He was slurring and Hange frowned, looking him up and down. 

"Go lie down before you fall down, Hannes. Seriously." He scowled, but dragged himself away to sleep it off.

She rushed over to where the three members of the story stood, the others now dispersing. "Aw I missed it all, I bet it was so cute too!" Levi snarled and stalked away, already having had too much attention on him for one day and Erwin smiled. 

"Something like that. So, couple of hours and we'll be partying the night away, eh?" Hange grinned and held up a green sprig, singing in a high voice. 

"And I've got mistletoe!" The head of security backed away, so she turned to you, grin wide and devilish. 

"No no no, not me. Please!" With a laugh you ran, followed quickly behind by the manic woman, trying to escape in the gardens behind a bush.

Your father watched with a smile and came near as Hange pounced. "Come come ladies. That's no way to behave when (F/N)'s boyfriend will be here soon." His smile was genuine, but you couldn't see it as a cloud of despair covered your eyes. You were nudged in the ribs by your pursuer and snapped out of it long enough to give an insincere grin back, along with an overly upset question. 

"Why, dad? It's always just us!" He took it to be excitement and patted your arm. 

"Jean is family too. Think of it as a gift from me to you." Believing he had done you a huge favour, he walked off with satisfaction, unaware of the seething mass of hatred he had left behind.

"Hange, why?" you moaned once he was far enough away. "Can't I just have a nice night?" Your friend looked at you with a crafty glint in her eye. 

"Why don't you try your plan out? Make him mad?" It was an option, he might leave early, sure that he had no intention of staying over. You nodded and left her to find Levi, let him in on the situation. Prowling the corridors, you checked the kitchen, the dining room, drawing room which was where most of the party would be held, smaller tree in here along with decorations. He wasn't in the gym or in your room, so you tried the last place which should have been your first port of call had you been thinking clearly.

At his quarters, you knocked quickly, bouncing on the spot. The door opened and you stood gaping, the man who greeted you wearing nothing but boxers. "I was about to take a fucking shower. Do you mind?" You couldn't help but pass your eyes down his toned chest, the muscles above his underwear that were shaped so deliciously, the strong legs that had kicked and pinned you down on so many occasions. "Oi. Eyes up." Complying with a blush, you met his gaze, saw the smirk on his face as he spoke again. "Are we even now?" Nodding fervently, you remembered the reason for your visit and pushed in uninvited. 

"Dad's fucking asked Jean round. Hange reckons I should try and make him snap. What do you think?" The nearly naked man turned and mulled it over. It might not be the best time, given how it was supposed to be a fun occasion, but fuck it. 

"Why not. Go for it. I'll be watching." You started to think about how you would do it and stared into the distance, imagining how satisfying it would be to watch him unravel in front of your father. A cough pulled you back to reality and you jumped. 

"Sorry, Levi. I'll let you get on." Backing out of the room slowly to get as much time with that body as possible, you grinned and ran off to confirm the plot with Hange. Probably a good idea to let Erwin know, too. The more people keeping an eye the better, just in case.

An hour later and you were getting ready with your friend, glasses of wine on the go, assistance given when needed with zips and hair. You had gone for the black dress, back low but not enough that you couldn't wear a bra and you'd been advised to certainly select the one that pushed your breasts together and up. The front of the gown was slightly plunged in a v neck, showing off cleavage that would be acceptable tonight. It was sleeveless like a vest top and you had a fading bruise on your shoulder, but it didn't bother you. Everyone knew of your intense training. The length was to the floor, shiny silk fabric clinging to your curves and you wore low heels. It was a dressy occasion, but you hated high shoes, opting instead for a black pair that had a tiny amount of height, sparkles of glitter mixed in with the patent sheen.

Hange looked gorgeous, her hair perfect and the green shiny dress fitting her immaculately. She had gone all out, towering shoes in place that made her strut everywhere, planning on putting it to good use in front of a certain security guard. "Mike's going to love that, Hange," you said, a smile on your face. "Make sure you give him a little wiggle too." She tested the move out, shaking her ass and making you giggle. "That's it!" You both lit a cigarette and you stuffed your pack in the small clutch you would take down, along with powder and a mirror. If your dad knew you smoked now, why hide it? The rest of the staff sure as hell knew.

Breathing deeply, you made sure one another looked presentable and made your way down. Your star was still sitting proudly on the tree and you grinned at the memory of the struggle over such a small but important thing. The two of you quickly walked into the large dining room where dinner would be served before moving on to the comfort of the drawing room. Garlands of dark green leaves twined with red ribbons were hung around the walls, yet another tree sat in one corner and quiet festive music played from a stereo. It wasn't one big table, but a few more intimate ones with chairs close together. Most people were here already, including Jean and you smiled. Time to start provoking him. Even though you had nothing in the way of a game plan, it would begin what would hopefully be the end of all of this. The matter of the evidence could come later and it was something that niggled in your brain like a worm.

Your father stood to greet the two women, giving you both a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Looking fabulous as ever, ladies. Now please, sit, drink, have fun. The food will be served soon." Light brown eyes glared as you sat in your allocated space by your alleged boyfriend's side but he kept his shit eating smile in place. 

"What the hell are you wearing, (F/N)?" The hissed words were as close as he seemed to get to swearing. He, of course, was in full military dress, medals shining out on display to impress anyone who cared to look. Perhaps he was under the impression it would be a high profile affair, not the small gathering of staff and judging by his face and the small sneer he couldn't quite hide, that was indeed the case.

"It's a dress, Jean. Anyway, it's not like I have to keep up appearances tonight, all just friends and family who know me well." He tutted but gave you a simpering smile, trying to look like you were having a loving conversation. 

"I don't like it, (F/N). It's not very correct. It would look better on one of these people." The way he casually dismissed the staff, your friends as 'these people' enraged you. How self absorbed did you have to be to get this pompous? Of course, you'd been around plenty like him before, but never had they ever been as blatantly disrespectful.

Keeping your cool, you reached for your wine and caught a pair of grey eyes watching you from another table. Actually, Levi had been fixated since you walked in the room, the dress you wore was irresistible. He wondered if you'd chosen it for his benefit, a delicious amount of flesh on show and the way it hung over your body was distracting. Unaware that he was being spoken to by someone, silver orbs locked onto (e/c) ones and without being blatant, you leant forward ever so slightly, elbow on the table to maximise your cleavage as you pushed gently into your arm. It was your turn to watch him squirm as his gaze flicked down, taking in the view hungrily. The falsely sweet smile you had adorned now turned to one of flirtatious mischief and you raised your hand, sure no one else was watching and sucked an imaginary drop of wine from the tip of your finger with a slow, calculated movement.

The man's eyes widened a little and you saw his throat move as he gulped, holding back the desire to throw himself across the room at you. Suppressing his instincts was impossible and before he could help it, something happened that would mean he had no chance of standing up for a while, so he gave in and began to imagine all of the filthy things he could do to you, every little touch you would lay on his body. With a small shiver, he picked up his wine and drank deeply, looking over with desperate longing.

Almost imperceptibly, Levi tilted his glass eventually in a show of greeting and maybe luck. Bolstered, you turned to the man by your side with a sweet smile. "So, Jean? What were all those medals for again?" His face lit up, a chance to show off was never to be passed up. As he began to chatter about each one, pointing but not touching so as to keep them spotless, you yawned, hiding it badly behind the back of your hand and you looked around, scanning the room as if looking for something more interesting. 

"Hey? If you weren't going to listen then why ask?" You turned back, fatigue on your face along with the same sickly smile. 

"Just making conversation." Jean grimaced, an expression that was quickly moulded into one of fake joy, but you saw the flicker and pressed on. "Anyway, I'm sure they just hand those things out like sweets. This one looks like it's made of tin foil." Reaching out, you made sure to rub your thumb on it, soiling the metal with your touch.

The brunette shot back to make you let go, stop ruining his precious item and that snarl was on his face a little longer this time. Out of the corner of your eye, it was clear that a few people had seen the exchange. Good. Hit him where it hurts. Pride. Dinner was served and you smiled as you ate, making sure to let your usual table manners drop slightly. Wrong fork. Mouthfuls that were a bit too big. No one else would care, they'd all seen you at breakfast on a Sunday before, so the only person who would be bothered was right next to you. With food still in your mouth, you spoke quietly sideways. "Why don't you loosen up, Jean? Let it all fucking go for once?" His disgust was flowing from his body, hatred in his core as the man began to lose patience.

A bit too loudly, you were reprimanded. "I've told you, don't swear." People carried on talking, if only to avoid the awkward moment, but you felt your father stiffen by your side. Glancing over, steel eyes warned you. You'd hit a nerve expertly with the major, but it wasn't the right place to carry on, so you suppressed the desire to continue and reverted to ignoring the bastard in the uniform. 

"Dad, you've done a perfect job with the decorations as usual. Mum would be proud." A hand squeezed your arm and you smiled honestly, your father's eyes both sad and joyous at the same time. 

"Thank you, (F/N). She would be, wouldn't she."

The rest of the meal was non-eventful and everyone moved to the adjoining room to let the agency staff clear up, leaving people free to enjoy the evening. The drawing room was actually quite large but looked homely due to the furnishing. Comfortable chairs that were upholstered with plush material, matching couches, dark tables, an open fire that wasn't needed but lent ambience. The lights were slightly dimmed and music played from another stereo, but not Christmas tunes. It was one of the few times that your father put on what could maybe be considered 'popular music', even if the songs were between twenty and fifty years old. Bottles lined the top of a large chest for everyone to help themselves and bowls of nuts and snacks were dotted around.

Jean had made a beeline for your dad, no doubt trying to gloss over his earlier outburst and you made your own determined trip to the alcohol, pouring a large glass of red wine. "Save some for the rest of us." The silky voice made you jump and smile all at the same time and you turned, taking in Levi's appearance properly for the first time tonight. His dark green shirt was rolled up at the sleeves, tight fabric hanging over black suit trousers. The colour of his top looked good against his skin and you could see how he gazed at your own outfit again, eyes sparkling. "Hmm, very nice. Good fucking choice, (F/N)." The man got his own drink and held it up in a toast but remained silent.

"Levi, you're supposed to say something when you do that." He smirked and leant in to keep the conversation private. 

"If I told you what I was thinking, I'd probably get another one of your shitty slaps." With a small smile, you raised your own glass and spoke for him. 

"Ok, I'll save you the hassle. To my breasts." He gave a small nod and a slow blink in confirmation and your drinks lightly touched before you sipped in tandem. Not finished, you used your most seductive voice and moved slightly closer. "So I presume you like what you see? Looked like you were having a bit of trouble containing yourself earlier." He smirked, holding onto the craving that shot through him, sure he would have to actually physically restrain himself at some point to stop reaching out and grabbing hold of the woman that made so many different feelings manifest inside.

It must have been a visible struggle and he watched your smile widen, the demure eyes that were perfectly lined with smoky make-up starting to twinkle. "Cat got your tongue, Levi? Never mind. Maybe I can show you what I can do with mine instead?" In danger of needing to sit down again, the man leant in and growled in your ear, using the loud music as a cover story to get close. 

"You are driving me fucking insane, (F/N)." Taking a step back, you shook your head, delivering a mock show of reprimanding him. 

"Too easy, Levi. You need one of those cold showers again, I think. I could join you?" Obviously this was not the time for noticeable flirting, but even if it had been, someone was determined to ruin the moment.

Hange came bouncing across the busy room, swinging something around her head like she had a lasso, eyes bright and voice chirping. "Look what I found!" It was the mistletoe again and with a quick glance, you and Levi agreed on the course of action without speaking. As she got close, you both moved quickly, weaving through the small crowds in opposite directions, making her chose which one of her prey to follow and eliminating the awkward situation of both being caught beneath the twig. "You can't hide forever!" Her screech was met by laughter, the playful female always being the life and soul of the party.

After a while she seemed to have given up, finding it more entertaining to drink and try and pin Mike down to a conversation. A few looks across the buzzing room were stolen, (e/c) and grey eyes locking briefly throughout the evening. Right now though you were fully occupied, a frown on your face as you prised the empty tumbler from the hand of the almost comatose man on the sofa. Everyone else had left him alone, letting him get on with whatever it was he had to drown out. But you were worried and tried your best to get something coherent out of him, hand shaking his shoulder gently.

"Hannes? Hey, come on, sit up." The blonde tried, face full of effort but all he achieved was a small shuffle and gave up. "No, you can do better. Here." Shoving your arm around the man's body, you tried to lift him to his feet, the red cheeks also letting you know it had been one hell of a session. A few people watched as you helped the chef out of the drawing room, sympathetic expressions looking over. Making for the first floor, you struggled at the stairs and stumbled slightly, Hannes' head rolling back so he was open mouthed staring at the ceiling. 

"Whass gurn ohhrn?" Translating in your mind, you explained quietly. 

"Taking you to your room. You need to sleep and sober up. Whatever it is, we'll talk tomorrow. Right now, you need rest."

Somehow you managed to get him in bed, shoes off but you left his clothes on and as soon as the man's head hit the pillow he was snoring, a loud rumbling noise. Arranging the covers, you made sure he was comfortable and slipped out silently. You stood a moment and sighed, hoping that you might be able to talk to him in the morning and find out why he was in self destruct mode. Composed, you left to join the party again, heels clicking on the floor as you lifted your dress slightly to avoid stepping on the long black fabric. As you turned to enter the drawing room from the door that was in the hall, you saw a shape waiting. A light haired form with a uniform, jacket now undone and regimental tie loosened.

Jean scowled as you approached, the danger in his eyes evident. "Where did you go?" He was obviously not one of those who saw you assisting the blind drunk and you kept walking as you answered. 

"Helping Hannes." Blocking the entry, the major stood firm, making you halt in front of his imposing body. 

"Are you going to behave now, (F/N)? Your father was frosty to say the least because you made me raise my voice." It made you smug to know it had caused him some troubles and you smirked, crossing your arms in a challenge. 

"Well you shouldn't get your knickers in a twist over a fucking word, Jean. You give it power by reacting like that, so stop being such a cu…"

He knew what was coming, but didn't think far enough to realise you were intentionally winding him up and before he could let you utter the worst curse of them all, he clamped one hand behind your head and the other across what he considered to be a filthy mouth. Snarling, he spoke between gritted teeth. "Don't make me show you just how I got some of these medals. Fighting is what I do. Taking down the enemy for the good of mankind. The world would be a better place without scum like you." You weren't afraid and stayed emotionless, arms still across your chest, eyes defiant. It confused Jean. He was used to seeing fear in his adversary's gaze, but not this and he paused, a move that proved fatal.

"What's going on?" Mike had stepped out to use the restroom at the wrong, or perhaps right moment, causing the other man to drop his arms quickly and turn, fake smile in place. 

"Just playing around. Come on, (F/N). We can't hide out here all night." You put a sarcastic grin on your face and allowed yourself to be led back inside, giving the security guard a look that said everything was alright. Not ideal, but alright. He gave you a nod and reminded himself to keep a watch on the major who had also rather loudly chastised you at dinner and smelt like violence.

The party was in full swing, bodies dancing and laughing, allowing the two of you to enter unnoticed by most. Jean sloped off to speak with your father again and you strode to the drinks, meeting your dark haired companion on the way. "Mike just witnessed the short temper of that fuck. What fucking use is it if we haven't got the pictures though?" Pouring wine, Levi muttered back. 

"It's a start. Did he hurt you?" Grey eyes stared closely and you shook your head, trying to allay his anger. 

"No, I'm ok. He's highly strung, that's for sure." He seemed to accept it and you both turned to look out over the crowd as you found your clutch, cigarettes now in hand.

The two of you stood in a corner and chatted a while, smoking and drinking and making suggestive comments along with remarks on the gathered people. It was getting messy, fast and drunken shouts reached above the music which had been cranked up even louder. You laughed suddenly and tipped your head in the direction of one of the sofas. Mike was on one side, Bertolt the other and in between was Hange, seemingly conflicted about which one of the two men she preferred, giving them both the same excited attention. They had identical expressions, a mixture of boredom and shock and you couldn't resist.

The mistletoe had been carelessly left unattended nearby and with a wink to Levi, you grabbed it and ran for the trio, mischief in mind. Sweeping round behind the furniture, you placed your head down between Hange and Mike, dangling the green item in the air. "You know the rules." Your close friend wore a look of glee and the man couldn't speak, too afraid to even move as the brunette placed a wet kiss on his lips, applause breaking out around the room. 

"What about Bertolt?" With a roll of the eyes, you switched sides at her request and she gave the other bodyguard the same attention, whistles and cheers now ringing in your ears. 

"Sorry guys, had to do it." The men just stared up at you, not sure what to make of it and you laughed at the huge grin on your friend's drunken face.

As the night wore on, no one had succumbed yet and everyone bar the chef was still there, some slumped in seats but not willing to admit defeat. Hange was dancing with Mike, as he seemed to have either forgotten about the embarrassment from before or had drunk enough to not care. Other moves were being thrown on what had now become a dancefloor, including your dad who currently spun a cheerful member of the kitchen staff around like they were back in the 1960's. Then you spotted something that made you smile even wider. Erwin was cornered, the now jacketless Jean leaning in close and talking about some crap or another, body swaying slightly as he emphatically pointed to his own chest, no doubt trying to impress the large man. The head of security caught your eye and gave you a look that screamed 'help me', however you just waved sweetly, enjoying the moment.

Luckily for Erwin, someone popped their head round the door, one of the agency staff and they rushed in to tug on the brunette's arm. You couldn't hear a word over the music but it made Jean frown and wave them away. It was presumably a signal that his car had arrived, as you knew he had no intention of staying the night. The slight lapse in concentration allowed the blonde to escape and you watched as he leapt across the room to where Levi was standing. You joined them, intending on teasing the larger of the two and reached them just as Erwin warned his employee and friend. "No way, Levi. You are not leaving me all night. He won't come over if you're here." Smiling, you saw grey eyes roll and without any say on the matter, you yawned, the early start yesterday catching up on you. 

"Boring you are we, (F/N)?" You watched as Jean tried to find his favourite party attendee, face distraught.

"Sorry Levi, I'm just really tired all of a sudden." Sipping your wine, you tried to perk up, not wanting to be the second to leave, but it was becoming difficult. After another twenty minutes, you couldn't take any more and gave in. "That's it. I'm done. Night gents." Levi wanted to follow you, body screaming out to walk regardless of what it would look like and he must have moved slightly as a large hand was placed on his shoulder. 

"Like I said. You stay by my side until he's gone. That man is so far up himself it's unbelievable." He was graced with a small laugh of agreement, but his friend wasn't paying attention, steel eyes instead trained on the woman who said her goodbyes, hugs shared and smiles offered. When it came to Jean, he watched as the drunken major gave you a kiss on the cheek, both of your gazes burning holes in each other out of pure hatred. And then, with a backwards glance to the dark haired man that was filled with lust, you were gone.

Once upstairs, you found it was hard to unwind with the sound of music and laughter, so got into your pyjamas and sat by the window, lights off, TV on but silent, allowing the evening breeze to clear your mind of the foggy sleep that crept through it. Not long after, Jean was finally escorted out to his car and you could hear the grumbles even from up here. The sound of tyres on gravel signalled his departure and you breathed out the smoke that you had held in your lungs. Without warning, the brake lights shone out bright red and the vehicle reversed. A figure marched back inside and you smirked. He'd forgotten his all important jacket, discarded the medals he was so proud of after he'd had a few too many. What a dickhead.

Light rain began to fall and the droplets sprayed your face, adding to the soothing wind and waking you up even more. Should have stayed downstairs, you thought as you closed the window and curtains, but it was getting too loud and raucous and your head had started to hurt. It meant leaving Levi behind though, your one real regret at calling it a night. The look you had left him with had been intentional, though and you wondered if you might get a late night visit.

Most of the staff would be leaving tomorrow to return home or visit family wherever they may live, but not until later, hangovers preventing any early morning departures. You'd have time to say proper goodbyes and also hoped to speak with Hannes before he left. Your mind was filled with a million thoughts at once. The chef and his troubles, Jean and how to get hold of the evidence he had, Annie and her own predicament, Farlan and Isabel. But mainly Levi. The image of the man was burnt on your mind permanently, along with the knowledge of what he had to deal with every Friday. Hopefully, this Thursday's visit would be more light because of the occasion and you started to think about what kind of gift to buy for your new acquaintance.

Back downstairs, the man in your thoughts was restless and when Jean left, he took it as a sign. Again he was stopped by a huge hand. "Where are you going?" A grumpy response was given, words growled. 

"I don't need to fucking protect you anymore and (F/N)'s gone so I don't need to keep an eye on her either. Do you think this is my fucking idea of fun?" His boss smiled, passing his gaze around the room to see the progressively drunken antics, bodies dancing, music blaring, laughter. Certainly not his small friend's idea of a good time. 

"Too true, Levi. Don't let Hange see you leave, she'll be all over you to stay." He nodded and slipped away, expertly avoiding being spotted and took the side door into the dining room.

It was empty now, all tables and chairs neatly stacked away as they wouldn't be used again until after the holidays. He slid through the door into the halls, passing the quiet kitchen, agency staff having all gone home already and made his way along to the side staircase. No one was around, everyone else was still dancing the night away and he slowly started the ascent, thoughts on the woman in the captivating black dress, the person who he had allowed into his life. Levi was still in awe over how well you took the visit to the hospital, how you had chatted to his friend without reservation or judgement and he felt his heart tighten at the memory. It was an odd feeling, something he hadn't experienced before and it was now joined by a powerful need, a feral desire that had been building up inside, ready to burst out.

Jean slumped back into the drawing room, searching around for his prize possession. No one gave him a second look and with a wobble, he rummaged through other discarded jackets and jumpers, trying to ignore the fact that he had spent the evening in the presence of house staff. He had presumed it would have been a more official party, not the drunken mess that had materialised during the night and he started to think about how goddamn infuriating his fake girlfriend had been. The filthy mouth that made him want to punch it over and over and how that stupid security guard had seen his lapse in composure. As much as he needed you to progress his career right now, at the moment Jean wanted nothing more than to cause you pain, wipe the smugness from your face.

Finally he found his uniform jacket and shrugged it on, mood dark as he found himself standing in the entrance hall. Glancing up slowly, he looked at the grand staircase that would eventually lead to your bedroom that was always kept unlocked, a sneer on his lips.

You crushed out your cigarette and sighed, the loud commotion from downstairs still continuing but you had to try and sleep. As you swung your legs down from the padded window seat, all you managed was to stand up when the door burst open - the one night you forgot to lock it since you decided to use the secure bolt. Typical. But the figure that stood at the entrance made your breath catch in your throat and you could only make a small noise of surprise as they spoke in a low growl.


	10. Freedom

"I can't do this anymore, (F/N)." Levi was breathing heavily and he held onto the door frame, his hair falling slightly over his face, eyes lit up. You understood, at least you hoped you did, but asked a question anyway, voice coming out in a whisper. 

"Can't do what?" The man stepped in and shut the door quietly, his back against the wood and you heard the click of the lock as he spoke in the same insistent way. 

"Pretend, (F/N). I won't pretend that I can keep my fucking hands off you a minute longer." Nothing happened for a few seconds, both of you staring across the room in the dim light that came from your television that had the sound turned down, but then you were running, bounding over the short space towards each other.

Lips connected and the kiss was instantly intense, tongues exploring, small sighs and hums of relief coming from both of you, hands searching and touching what they had been begging to feel for so long. Your bodies were pressed together and you felt fingers twining in your hair, pulling your head in closer still. Breaking away for air, you remained against his warmth, lips still touching as you breathed in identical short gasps, eyes locked and his mouth brushed against yours. "Finally." It was all he had to say, one simple word that conveyed what you were both thinking and he captured you in a kiss once more. The movements between the two of you were urgent, feverish strokes and caresses.

Levi's patience was thin as cheap paper and he tugged at your pyjama top. Stepping back slightly, you allowed it to be pulled off and he took a second to admire your body, silver eyes committing the view to memory as you fumbled with his shirt buttons. Trembling hands fought with the annoyingly small items and it took what seemed like an eternity to get them all undone. The man threw the fabric to the floor and you gazed hungrily at his chest, the one you had seen earlier but hadn't been able to touch. Raising your arms, you ran your palms over the toned muscles and Levi dipped his head, placing soft kisses on your neck, breath warm against your skin, hands rubbing strongly up and down your bare sides.

"Shit, Levi," you gasped and gave up your position on his abs in favour of the belt buckle that was keeping his trousers in place, his words on your now wet neck. 

"We've waited too fucking long for this." With a squeak, you freed the leather strap eventually and pushed down, watching impatiently as shoes and socks were dealt with, clothing discarded to leave him just in his tight boxers, the outline of his excitement prominent. The embrace began again and you started to take steps backwards in the direction of your bed, passionate kisses shared along with the same small noises of finally being free to give into your desires. On the short trip across the room, you were rid of your shorts, carefully kicking them off before curling your fingers in the waist band of his underwear, yanking them away so you were both naked.

Mouths still working together, you lowered yourselves to the soft sheets, bodies melded to one another. Levi pulled back and gazed into your eyes, the same look of lust in them that was evident in his own. "You're fucking amazing, (F/N)." He moved down and trailed pecks on your neck, across your collar bone to your chest, taking your nipple in his mouth, licking and biting lightly, making you moan loudly as your back arched up into the amazing sensation. He continued the delicious attention and slid his right hand up your skin, feeling the goosebumps that he had created, fingers pinching at your other bud. The loud music still filled the house and you had no problem with calling out in pleasure, allowed to voice your satisfaction once more.

Levi smirked into your skin and ran his touch back down, following your curves to your hip and over to the soft but noticeably toned stomach, muscles slightly defined by the work outs you had been having. He moved slowly, seeking out his target with calculated speed and sighed when he was able to feel your warmth, something he had only dreamt about for so long. Circling his fingers, he raised his head so you were face to face, your fast breaths tickling him. "Ahhh Levi, fuck…" It was all you were able to say as the sensation of him between your legs filled your body with electricity and you grabbed out to find his erection, gripping tightly but gently and started to pump up and down. The man hissed at your touch and a growl came from the back of his throat as he leaned in, tongues stroking together again.

The speed of the kiss increased along with the movements below and he broke away, leaving your bottom lip with a small bite and spoke with a voice that sounded almost on the verge of tears. "Please tell me you've got…" You didn't let him finish and smiled, turning to find a packet in your night stand. "Thank fuck for that," he panted and sat up against the headboard as you struggled with the item, hands shaking. He grabbed it from you, liberating it by tearing the foil and he quickly rolled the protection in place, taking your hand and pulling you across. From the way he sat, you knew what he meant and you didn't need to be told twice, straddling his body like you had done in the gym, but you knelt high, breasts in his face. Levi took advantage and pulled you close, arms hugging you tight as he nibbled at the sensitive nubs.

"Oh shit, I can't…I…" It was all too much and you couldn't wait any longer, lowering yourself down, taking in every last inch of him with an agonising but beautiful slow pace. 

"Fuck…" gasped Levi, staring up into your bright eyes, loving the way they shone out in the nearly dark room. "You feel fucking…mmm…" He couldn't continue as you began to lift your hips, nearly leaving his length, only to push back down, making you both groan loudly at the friction. He still held you in an embrace and you wrapped your arms loosely around his neck, rolling yourself against him in a slow but hard pace, aware that this wasn't the time to mess about. It was undoubtedly going to be amazing, fast sex, the weeks of teasing culminating in one passionate moment.

"Jesus, Levi," you whispered, voice ragged and coming in short bursts in time with your ever increasing thrusts. "You're so fucking hard." He smirked, turned on a hundred times more by your words, driven insane by the fact you were so vocal. 

"It's all yours (F/N)." You sighed as he gripped your hips, pushing up with your movements, reaching even further inside and causing you to shout out with joy. "That's nothing. Want me to show you what I've been fucking thinking about every single day?" He didn't wait for a reply and you were pushed to your back, his body on yours instantly and he was back in you, cock strongly pounding and expertly rubbing against your flesh.

You wrapped a leg around his, allowing him to get deeper and he grabbed onto your ass with one hand, leaning up on the other elbow above you. It was incredible and the familiar feeling began to make itself known, your peak approaching quickly as you had imagined it would, delirious at finally having this man inside of you, sending you into waves of pleasure and you pushed harshly up to match his quickening rhythm. Levi bent and bit at your shoulder, kissing and sucking and you gripped onto his muscular back tightly, throwing your head back. "Oh fuck Levi, yes…yes…that's it…" He didn't know how much longer he could last, the woman felt amazing, words adding to the knot forming in his abdomen and he leant up to see the look of euphoria on your flushed face.

"Shit, (F/N), you're so fucking gorgeous. Jesus…." He bit his bottom lip and that was it. The small gesture sent you over the edge and with fast jerks of your hips you started to ramble. All that existed right now was him, the hand holding your butt so tight, face in your line of sight, perfect member filling you completely, time and time again. The gasped chants that spilled from your lips were intoxicating and Levi began to lose control, both of your voices combining together in a sea of mutual desire. With desperate shouts you felt lost in the moment, throwing sanity to the wind and you were overcome by the strongest orgasm you had ever experienced, nails in his flesh as you moaned lowly, a sound that turned into a shout that wasn't a word in any known language, body racked with gratification.

He felt your spasms and bowed his head, pressing into your shoulder as he growled, an animal noise of pure hedonistic joy and he came strongly with erratic thrusts, whispering your name like a mantra in your ear. The motions slowed and you lay connected, gulping for breath, bodies sweaty and spent. After a moment, Levi found the strength to push up on his arm and gazed down, smiling lightly as he spoke in a whisper. "Well, that was fucking intense." You laughed and pulled him in, planting kisses on his soft lips which he reciprocated gladly, hearts free and full of blissful release. The occasion was halted by a tut and a grumble.

"Tch. I'm all fucking dirty now." Laughing even harder, you watched as his eyes flashed, betraying his words slightly, but you knew he was being truthful deep down. 

"I know. Shower's over there." He placed a kiss on your forehead, unable to tell you how elated it made him feel to know you accepted and understood his ways. Any women in the past had seen it as dismissal or an insult, meaning that he had never been able to have any kind of real relationship before. But here you were, looking up at him with something like admiration. It didn't bother you in the slightest. He had no issue training and getting all hot and bothered, as long as he could get clean afterwards and this was no different. You presumed it would be correct to get showered too, but right now you couldn't move.

The choice was made for you and Levi placed the used condom in the bin carefully, wrapping it delicately in tissue then pulled you up by the hand, leading you to the bathroom. "Might as well conserve water." The two of you showered together, gently brushing against each other's skin, getting to know the contours of the bodies that you didn't have time to look at properly before as passion had taken over. New towels were stacked up and you dried down, rubbing at your hair to try and remove as much water as possible. Levi looked upon you with a soft gaze and took the towel to help you with a patch you had missed on your waist. 

"Thanks." You grinned and went to hunt for your brush, running the easily found item through your locks to rid yourself of any tangles.

He was sitting on the bed, watching your every move. "Can I stay?" It sounded rather meek and you found it ridiculously cute. Smiling, you went to join him, gathering him in a hug, wet hair pressing against his skin. 

"Of course, Levi. I don't want you to go." He squeezed back and enjoyed the closeness. Not wanting to make it all soppy and emotional, the man cleared his throat and spoke with his usual tired tone. 

"I'm not getting in bed with wet fucking hair. And that shitty music's too loud to sleep yet." With a grin, you got your pyjamas back on and threw him his boxers and went to sit on the sofa, tossing a blanket over you both as you snuggled up in front of the silent television.

Once you were dry enough, it was deemed acceptable to go to bed and at 1am on the dot, the music stopped. "Fucking beautiful," you murmured and crawled under the covers, the warm body of Levi pressing in against your back, his arm over your waist. "Thank you, (F/N)." His voice was fatigued and already thick with sleep, but you turned slightly. 

"What do you mean?" Surely he wasn't thanking you for sex? He explained in mumbled words. 

"For understanding me." You smiled and laced your fingers in his hand, getting comfortable. 

"Don't mention it, Levi. Sleep well." It was the last thing either of you remembered as you fell into a deep, satisfied slumber.

~~~~~

Light crept through the curtains, encouraging you to wake up and get on with the day, but you were the most comfortable you had been in years and refused to move. Your head laid on Levi's chest, his heart beat soothing in your ear, your arm draped across his stomach and leg curled up over his as the man lay on his back, arm around you. He knew you were awake by the change in breathing and lifted a hand to brush (h/c) hair from your skin. Looking up with a smile, you met a face of contentment and stretched up to give his lips a gentle kiss. Humming, you pressed into him before reluctantly moving back, allowing him to speak. "Morning beautiful." He ran a finger across your cheek and you thought how he had never seemed so serene, no sign of a frown or an incoming smart remark.

"You look happy." Levi couldn't resist and raised an eyebrow at your statement. 

"That's because I fucking am, you idiot." He flicked you on the forehead and smirked. "Don't fucking tell anyone, though. It would ruin my reputation." You giggled at his conspiring tone and slapped his chest playfully. For a while you lay together, eyes connected, drinking in the moment of peace. The man changed suddenly, eyes narrowed and he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Shit. Oh, fuck me." Sitting up on your elbow, you looked down with amusement. 

"Already did, Levi. What's up?" He shook his head and groaned. 

"I'm fucking late for work." He was supposed to relieve the off site man on the front gate, allowing Mike and Bertolt to get ready to make the trip home for Christmas, but he was in no mood to leave this bed.

Despite his declaration, he didn't move and you laughed. "Not how I expect someone to react when they're supposed to be somewhere else.…oh crap." Now it was your turn to have an epiphany, the realisation that there would be many hungry bellies looking for fried food and you were sure Hannes would be one of them rather than the provider. "Breakfast." Levi snorted a small noise of humour at the sound of your realisation and felt you drop your head back down, so he stroked at your hair, never growing tired of how much you wanted to be part of the household in a useful way. Regardless of where you both had to be, you still didn't attempt to get up. Eventually, the inevitable came and he rose, leaving you to sprawl out on the bed, upset at being left alone. It had been ages since either of you had woken up next to somebody. In fact the last time Levi did, they told him to leave straight away. Not a fond memory.

"What time is it?" Your words were spoken into the duvet and came out in muffled noises. 

"Seven." At least you probably had the opportunity to get started before anyone woke up and sat, watching the man gather his clothes. 

"Don't you want to shower?" It was a genuine query, not in any way a comment on his habits and he didn't take it that way, just shook his head. 

"We can't walk around fucking smelling the same, (F/N). I'll go back upstairs." Pouting at having to cut your previously enjoyable morning even shorter, you grumbled over to the half naked figure. 

"Who's going to know?" He huffed and pulled his shirt on, buttoning it quickly. 

"Mike would. Believe me." He rushed over to the bed and placed a last kiss on your lips. "See you soon. Behave." With a mischievous look, he unlocked the door and walked silently up to his room.

Once you had dressed, you ran down and pushed into the kitchen, flicking the strip lights on to illuminate your work space. It surely wouldn't be long before the trail of hungover people started to arrive and you set about making them a feast as a send off, sad at their impending absence already. Bacon sizzled and sausages threw fat at you, splattering hot droplets across your arms. Jumping back, you rubbed at the offended skin and scowled at the pork items, blaming them silently for being so rude. Your stomach growled, but you pushed it away, intent on serving others first as they would no doubt be in more need of it than you.

Shortly after you started the coffee machine up, your first customer arrived, the sound of shoes scuffing on the floor. Not turning, you kept an eye on the eggs, spooning oil over the top to cook the yolks quicker. Aware of a presence, you heard a sniff and turned, face to face closely with a small moustache and beard that sat under blonde curtains of hair. Mike smiled and shook his head, leaving you thoroughly confused. "Food smells good, (F/N)." You brushed off his odd behaviour and grabbed a plate, loading it with items and deftly placing a newly toasted piece of bread on top. With thanks, he sloped off to the small dining room, leaving you alone once more. It didn't last, the scent of breakfast winding upstairs to rouse the members of the house and soon you were inundated, rushing around and dishing up.

Hannes turned up towards the end, apology on his face. "Sorry, (F/N). For last night, for making you do this again." He looked terrible and you wiped your hands before putting them on his shoulders. 

"Don't be sorry. I don't mind. Now, how about we sit here and eat, you can tell me what's wrong? Hannes, you need to talk to someone, you're not helping yourself." Your tone was soft but words stern, letting him know you meant business. All he could do was nod and went to take up position at the breakfast bar on the stool and you brought the two plates over. Anyone else could self-serve if they came in.

The older man picked at his food sullenly and you waited patiently for him to begin. It was coming, you knew it and you weren't surprised when he spoke. "I'm a coward, (F/N). I let people down. I froze." Previously, you had been of the opinion that maybe having a drink was helping him to deal with it, but it wasn't just the one drink anymore. He didn't need to elaborate, the guilt was written all over his face. Putting down your cutlery, you placed your hand on his, speaking quietly. 

"I'm not going to pretend I know what you went through. But you're a good man, Hannes. Go back home, see your friends and family. Take stock. Maybe you need to think about talking to someone?" The man had always been scared to seek professional help, fearing it would bring back terrible memories, but he was doing a good job of that all on his own now and nodded, knowing it was time.

"I will. Thank you, (F/N). I need to get my shit together before I kill myself with that stuff." He seemed to have more of a life goal and much to your delight, he cleared his plate, shovelling the food in. Hannes left you with a hug, wishing you a Merry Christmas and went to gather his things to make the trip home, happier about the whole thing now that he had made the decision to sort himself out. Sober might be a stretch, but at least confronting his demons would be a step in the right direction.

A couple of stragglers came in for breakfast, but it was winding down and your father appeared, small smile on his face as he saw you in your apron, grease and a variety of things smeared all over the white cloth. "Been busy?" Grinning, you rushed over, giving him a hug but keeping your body away, just letting your arms do the work so you didn't get his clothes dirty. 

"Morning dad. You looked like you had fun last night?" He laughed and released you, letting you see his bleary eyes for the first time. 

"That I did, (F/N). Maybe too much fun. Anything left?" You shot off to get him some of what remained on the hotplate and saw him rubbing at his face. Definitely drank too much, you thought and smiled. 

"What have you got planned for next week?" He took the plate with thanks and shrugged. 

"This and that. Poor Erwin is going to hate me by Christmas day."

The only ones that would be here after today were you, your father, Levi and Erwin, the large man returning home a week or so after yule when he could be replaced by someone from the extra security. Men would be here for short shifts at the gate and perimeter, as the live in guards couldn't take the work on all by themselves and you always felt bad when you sat down to Christmas dinner knowing that guys were standing outside. But it was only for a few hours, then they would swap.

Erwin didn't mind staying, his ex wife had the kids this year and he would spend a whole week with them once he got back. His work was one of the main reasons for the divorce, spending long months away and like your father he was married to his job. He'd been with you ten years, the longest serving member of the team and you started to wonder how he knew Levi, having been the one who recommended him. Your dad dragged you back to reality as he went to take his breakfast to the dining room. "I'm going to see who's still around, say my goodbyes." Waving him off, you realised Hange hadn't been down. Grabbing some remaining bacon, you hastily constructed a sandwich and took off the apron, rushing up one floor to check on your friend.

Knocking, you were granted entry by a croaked voice and walked into a room that looked like a bomb had hit. Clothes were everywhere, a case half packed and a figure sitting on the floor in amongst it all. "God, Hange, you look rough. Here." Passing her the food, she smiled in gratitude and began to devour the item, talking in between chews. 

"I have no idea what time I got back up here. I should have packed before the party." Nodding, you sat down in one of the few clear places and looked over. 

"You and Mike seemed to be getting on though?" The answer you got wasn't what you wanted to hear, though, her face sorrowful. 

"Yea we were until I had to run off and throw up, (F/N). Not the best impression." She finished the sandwich and turned the tables on you expertly. "Shorty left quite early too." It wasn't a question and you stared out of the window, trying to look nonchalant, but she knew you too well. "Oh my god, (F/N), you didn't?" Turning, you attempted to keep calm but your mouth twitched against your will, making your friend point and screech. "You did! You little fucking devil!" Outright grinning, you couldn't help it and watched as she clasped her hands together in glee, eyes wide and distant. "Oh, (F/N), about time too. Was it magical?" You started laughing and threw a stray t-shirt at her, catching the woman in the face. 

"Magical? What the fuck? Who says that?" She joined in, both of you in fits of giggles on the floor, surrounded by clothes.

Calming, she shot you a dangerous look and smirked. "You guys are going to have so much fun the next two weeks with no one around." Smiling back, all you could do was nod in agreement. You certainly intended on making the most of the quiet house. "Dirty fucker. I need details when I get back." Another piece of fabric was launched her way and she avoided it quickly as you offered assistance. 

"You need help packing?" Her nod was slow and feeble, so you set about helping her sort out her disastrous room.

~~~~~~

Most people had left, being waved off in taxis by you and your father, leaving only Hange who wouldn't let go of you, hugging tightly. "I'll be back before you know it, (F/N). Keep in touch and tell me everything." Patting her back, you heard the driver sound the horn again, aware of flight departure times and you managed to prise the woman from you. 

"Ok, promise. Love you." One last quick hug and she was gone, car driving away, signalling the start of the festive period. Your dad had things to take care of and you went to clear up the kitchen, gazing over at the lone, pale figure by the gate who remained looking out towards town.

You were infinitely grateful of the dishwasher right now, everything stacked in the huge machine and in the process of being cleaned. Sleeves up, you scrubbed at the surfaces until they started to squeak. Proud of your efforts, you stood back, rubber gloves still on and surveyed your surroundings with a satisfied sigh. "Not bad." The voice didn't startle you and arms snaked around your waist and pulled you close, a kiss placed on your ear. "Your dad and Erwin went out, gone to town. The other guys fucking turned up on time too. So, I'm all yours." Turning, you ripped the gloves off and flung them into the sink, hands on Levi's white shirt. 

"Really? Well. What are we waiting for?"

~~~~~

You'd had to clean the kitchen table again and as you showered, keeping your head out of the stream, the memories made you grin. Having the house to yourself was already proving to be an advantage and Levi had the forethought to bring protection with him in his pocket, leading to the steamy moment that involved you being sat on the wooden surface, sent crazy with passion once more as he had stood between your legs, trousers and underwear around his ankles. It was a new experience, you'd never had sex in a kitchen before, or on a table for that matter and you wondered where else you could explore. The fact that you could be caught had added to the intensity and it made you shiver with glee. It had been amusing in a sense too as Levi had his earpiece in the whole time, just in case of an emergency. Luckily no one spoke to him, nothing to break the concentration.

He had already been in to get cleaned and you dried down and dressed, intentionally not washing your hair as you couldn't be bothered to get it sorted again. Hopefully that would be ok, you thought and went back into your room to the waiting man. He didn't mention the lack of shampoo and you breathed a sigh of relief, joining him on the sofa for a hug. A festive film was on, making Levi tut and huff at the television. Trying to take his mind off it, you asked him a question. "How do you know Erwin? Did you work together?" Being that the large man had been with you so long, you doubted it. A small laugh was offered and you glanced up at the tiny smirk. 

"Not exactly, (F/N). He used to work in a mall and regularly chased after me when I shop lifted. Only ever caught me once, the slow fucking giant." Again, he had managed to answer you without much detail, but this time continued. "It was because of him that I do this work. He sat me down, took the time to fucking talk to me and for some reason, I trusted him enough to take him up on his offer." You stayed quiet, digesting the information. It wasn't a shock, given what he had told you before and you liked his honesty. Levi took his turn, thinking that there must have been more to your life plans than this kind of existence. "What did you want to do when you grew up? If your dad wasn't who he was?" It was an innocent enough question, but would give him an insight into the woman that desperately wanted to be independent.

"Pathologist. Autopsies and solving murders. That kind of thing." He nodded and elbowed you in the ribs. 

"Is that why you watch all that shit about criminals?" You pushed him back, continuing the childish behaviour. 

"Hey! It's not shit. Well, a bit, but it's interesting at least." Levi tutted, earning another shove in the arm and smiled. You had been right this morning, he thought. He was happy for once. And then your phone rang, shattering the peace, demanding to be answered. "Fuck." When you picked it up, you saw Jean's name flashing and swore, but answered nonetheless on speaker. Instantly his voice came snarling through.

"You were out of order last night, (F/N). Made me nearly lose my cool. You're on thin ice, I'm sure your father was keeping his distance."

"Shame you weren't keeping your distance from Erwin. I'll bet I wasn't the only one who noticed. As much as I couldn't give a shit who you want to fuck, it's hardly in line with your master plan, is it?"

"Don't swear. And keep your thoughts to yourself. After Christmas there's some important meetings coming up. Should be out of your hair soon, you'll be pleased to know. Once I've got to where I need to be."

"Fan fucking tastic, Jean. Nice to hear you're almost done."

"I said, don't FUCKING SWEAR!" Pressing your lips together, you tried so hard not to laugh at his hypocrisy and the way you'd yet again managed to aggravate him to show his true colours. Levi raised his eyebrows and smirked, enjoying the exchange.

"Oh no, Jean, you filthy mouthed little shit. What would your new friends say?"

"Listen to me. Stop pushing. You wouldn't like the consequences. I'm sure your stupid training sessions aren't nearly enough to make you even capable of defending yourself against me. Just remember that."

"I think you'll find she is more than capable of beating your sorry ass to the ground, Jean. Careful who you threaten." Levi's voice was dark and full of disgust and you noticed he was now standing too.

"What do you think you're doing? This is a private conversation, you runt."

"Not any more it's not. You make fucking threats like that to the woman I protect, you bring me into this. So I'll be clear. Don't fucking touch her, or I swear you'll never walk again."

"Promises, promises, Levi. (F/N)? Tell your father I've been round a few times, keep up the story. I don't want to be anywhere near you or your stupid guard dog. As for Christmas, I would love to join the little soiree, but alas I will be visiting my family five hundred miles away for a week, so that's a good enough excuse. And I'll ignore the fact that you told the midget what's going on, but that's your last chance."

"Jean?" He stayed quiet, but you knew he was still there. "Fuck you."

Hanging up the call, you looked across and saw the fire that burned in the pale man's eyes, noticed the way he clenched his fists, but something that Jean had said started off a chain reaction in your mind. "Levi? If he's away for a week, we could get the USB stick?" Trying to let the anger wash away, he considered your suggestion. It could work, but would rely on breaking and entering unless you could get a key somehow. Deciding to think about that possibility, he nodded and beckoned, the two of you curling up again on the sofa, brains ticking over and film forgotten about.


	11. Hidden Lives

"Stop fucking about. We can't slack." Your attempts at tickling Levi had been futile and you found yourself pounding the leather again. For an hour you had been drilled, made to punch, kick, defend and attack, the conversation with Jean yesterday adding some sense of urgency. When the bag swung round, you kept your eye on both it and the man who circled around and you made a decision. Rather than block the nearest first then turn to him, you used momentum and hurled the leather in his direction, hoping to use the weight to your advantage. He was slightly caught off guard but rallied well, sending it back straight at you. Dodging, you avoided the incoming item and pounced instantly, taking him to the floor while he was still vaguely off balance from his effort.

Landing harshly you pinned him, grin on your face as you leant down to place a small kiss on the tip of his nose. "Take that, fucker." Levi screwed his face up at the wet feeling and shook his head. 

"Nice move. Shame it didn't work." Lifting a knee, he pushed hard on your sternum and threw you on your back, turning the advantage with minimum effort. Now on top, he smirked and pondered out loud. "So, what shall I do now, hmm? I wonder…." Struggling to move, you made an unconventional choice and managed to raise your leg slightly, brushing it against his crotch softly. The choke that it provoked was music to your ears and the slightly wide eyes told you it was working. 

"Don't make any silly moves, Levi. All I have to do is twitch and you'll be in a world of pain." Silver orbs gleamed and once again the upper hand was lost. 

"If you do that, we both fucking lose. Your choice. Victory or sex?"

The answer came in physical form. Instead of causing him harm, you started your gentle rubs again, making him harden instantly. "Fucking hell, (F/N), how are we going to get any work done?" He rolled his eyes and sat back, allowing you to prop up on your elbows with a smug look on your face. 

"We've done enough today, surely? Anyway, we're all dirty now. Might as well get even filthier." Levi looked down at you with growing lust, the pressure in his sweats begging to be released. Why did she have to be so damn appetising? He tutted and rubbed a hand across his forehead, muttering at the woman under him. 

"Fucking insatiable, aren't you? I haven't got any left, have you?" Groaning, you shook your head. "Nevermind, (F/N). Plenty more ways to scratch an itch."

It was hardly the place, windows giving quite a good view, so you had quickly made the short journey to his room, Erwin and your father out once more and they had taken the car. The open window in here would let you hear of their approach, allowing a better view of the front drive. One thing you hadn't counted on was one of the on call guards needing something and a knock sounded at the door. "Give me a fucking minute," growled Levi and he looked back down to watch, hands on the back of your head as it moved up and down quickly, your fist gripping tight to help cover all of him. 

"It's the gates. They're stuck." The disembodied voice was insistent and the response was as fucked off as it was pleasured. 

"I'll be down in a fucking second. Piss off." The sound of footsteps signalled their departure and once more he turned his attention to your actions.

The feeling of your warm mouth and skilful tongue were becoming increasingly hard to resist and as you held his gaze, he moaned loudly, moving his hips in time with you and forcing himself in further. You showed no sign of distress at his invasion, but if you had, he would have stopped, not wanting to cause you to do anything you weren't comfortable with. Conversely you seemed to revel in it, letting out your own groan that vibrated down his shaft. "Shit…(F/N)…fuck…" You got quicker and somehow tightened the suction and he was ready to explode. In a warning, he whispered with a low tone. "(F/N), I'm…fuck…going to come…" With a flash of bright white light in front of his eyes he shouted, the sweet release spilling out and he gasped, paying heed to the way you instinctively swallowed, taking it all down without complaint.

As you slowed, you left him with one last lick and sat back on your heels on the sofa where you both lay, thoroughly pleased with yourself for causing him so much enjoyment. "Don't look so fucking smug, (F/N)," he panted. "I'll get my revenge soon. Don't bother showering." He stood and collected a wash cloth from the bathroom, wiping himself down and suppressing the need to have a proper clean. No point, he'd only be getting messy again soon. He pulled his sweats on and pointed, giving you an order. "Stay." With a sweet smile, you saluted and watched the satisfied man stride away to fix whatever might be broken.

Half an hour later and you lay gasping on the bed, mind still trying to get over what he had just achieved, the feeling of his fingers, mouth and tongue still buzzing through your body. You'd experienced it before, but never with such amazing results and you raised your head to look up at his face, contentment etched on his features at rendering you incapable of proper speech. "Wha?…I…fuck…" Then he did something you thought he would never do, a gesture that seemed to go completely against his tendencies. With wide eyes, you watched as he placed two fingers in his mouth, licking them with a smile. "Oh jesus Levi, don't. Don't do that you son of a bitch, you're making me horny again." It came out in a pleading voice and you groaned, pressing your legs together to try and dampen the feeling that was growing once more, now cursing the distinct lack of condoms in the house.

"Patience. We can go shopping later." With a weak moan, you flopped down on the pillow, a mass of jelly totally at his mercy. He smirked and went to shower, leaving you to regain composure. Above the sound of running liquid, you heard gravel and shot up, shaking legs taking you unsteadily to the window and peeking over the sill, you saw a car pull up. Flying into the bathroom, you stuck your head round the plastic curtain. 

"They're back. I got to go." Levi leant out of the stream and gave you a quick kiss and you ran, pulling your gym clothes back on and shooting down stairs to get under your own jets of water, smile on your face the whole time.

~~~~~

Strolling through the streets, you fought back the urge to hold Levi's hand, knowing that anyone might be around who still thought you and Jean were a couple. You'd already visited the chemist and now the search began for presents. Most had been bought, wrapped and given to those who had returned home already, or were stashed in your wardrobe, but you had someone else to buy for. Looking around the Christmas market, you ran your eyes over the festive offerings, garlands and small ornaments on display, a constant grumble by your side. Blocking him out, you continued the hunt, not sure what you were looking for exactly, but you would know it when you saw it.

A few stalls down, your eyes lit up and with joy you picked up the excellently packaged gift, bows and ribbons of red and white making it look exquisite. Inside the hard plastic box was a wonderful selection of accessories, hair clips, combs, bands. Everything you would need to create any kind of style. Clutching it close, you smiled at the vendor and exchanged money, item placed in a strong gold coloured paper bag with string handles that had fake red berries laced in to make it more seasonal. "Who's that for?" The voice by your side was confused and you mumbled back. 

"Isabel." Levi stopped and you turned, looking up at the surprise on his face. He didn't know what to say. It was an amazing gesture, one that softened his heart and made him want to grab hold of this woman and never let go. Such a sweet, caring thought that would undoubtedly be well received by his friend - his friend that you had taken to without prejudice.

"(F/N), I can't even..." That was all he said, but his expression told you how grateful he was. Something bothered you, though and you voiced the concern. 

"What if it's Farlan? What shall I get for him?" Yet again, he could only shake his head for a moment before smiling. 

"He'd love a fucking beer, but they're not going to let you in with that." Walking through the stalls, you saw something generic but also rather nice looking. 

"There aren't carpets in there. How about these?" It was a cosy looking pair of slippers, a cliche of a Christmas present, but one you thought might be needed now that the nights were cooler. Levi nodded and you decided to buy the dark blue ones, thinking how they would match his features.

"Will they let the clips and stuff in?" Levi shrugged and hoped with his entire being that they would, knowing how much Isabel always went on about her hair. It was time to get back, you had dinner to make and with a spring in your step, you made your way home, thinking about how something had already been picked out for the man with you. You'd spotted it earlier in the window of an art shop and would call them tomorrow to see if Erwin or your father could pick it up. Passing through the gates, you waved to the unknown guard who was sitting in the small wooden shack that looked like a sentry post, taking the weight off his feet and he raised a hand in acknowledgement.

Presents in your room safely, you now stood in the kitchen, scrutinizing the ingredients on offer, selecting a few and placing them on the table, the thoroughly cleaned table that now made you blush ever so slightly when you looked at it. Four people was a much more manageable amount to cook for and you started to prepare what you hoped would go down well.

~~~~~

By Wednesday morning, you had come to the conclusion that at least Erwin knew something was going on and perhaps even your father. Previously you would have spent time with Levi, granted, but it was probably noticeable just how inseparable the two of you seemed to be and unless he was working, it was rare to see you apart. A few glances and suggestive movements of large eyebrows convinced you that the head of security was on to the new couple, especially seeing as every time he came looking for his employee, you were there too. It had resulted in a hasty rush to get dressed yesterday afternoon and no matter how casual you'd both tried to look, it was quite obvious that it had failed. Only three days had passed fully since your first night together, however being alone in each other's presence so much had made it seem like longer.

You'd kept up the pretence, telling your dad that he had just missed Jean, or that yesterday you went out for a walk while the man of the house sorted paperwork in his study. He certainly seemed to have changed his demeanour when your false boyfriend was mentioned and you wondered if you should just come clean and tell him the truth. Levi had advised against it, even if it would mean you could stop hiding and sneaking. The evidence would need to be obtained first and you were acutely aware of the damage that could be done if it was suddenly released.

Sighing, you nestled into the warm body beside you in bed, pulling close and delaying the inevitable. An early rise was essential, allowing one or the other to return to their room before the remaining two occupants of the house woke. And on that point, you spoke quietly as a hand ran up and down your back with gentle affection. "Erwin knows. I'm sure of it. So we just have to avoid my dad." Levi nodded and stretched, ridding his muscles of the sleep induced tightness. He wasn't looking forward to the return of the other staff, as it would surely mean that waking up in his woman's arms would be impossible. One person to duck was more than manageable, but a whole house full would be tricky, even if your room was the only one used on this floor.

Trying to leave that thought behind, he focussed on the here and now, breathing in the clean scent of your hair. It reminded him of how you had unquestioningly adjusted to his ways, showing that sensitive nature that seemed to radiate from your body at times. Squeezing you tight, he placed a kiss on your head. "Erwin's not fucking stupid. And Mike said you smelt like me on Sunday morning. So that's two people so far and it hasn't even been a week." He smiled as he said it, amused at how easy it apparently was for people to pick up on small changes. 

"Three, Levi." Looking up, you shrugged. "Hange." He rolled his eyes but stayed smiling, knowing how close the two women were.

"If it carries on at this rate, the whole fucking country's going to know by Easter." Laughing now at his remark, you dug a knuckle into his side making him flinch, knowing it was a sure way to get him ticklish. "Fuck off, (F/N)." With a stern glare, the man sat up and rubbed one eye, clearing his vision. "I've got to work the perimeter this morning. Shitty job but it's quiet at least." Gathering his clothes, you watched him closely, trying to fill your mind with as much of Levi as possible, almost like the memories would trickle out during the day and need topping up. 

"Did Erwin say it was ok to go to the hospital tomorrow?" You weren't sure if the large man even knew what the reality was and your question encompassed both queries, as did his answer. 

"Yea, he's always been understanding of the shit storm I brought over here with me." Perhaps they talked about it back when they first met? It didn't matter really, the only important thing was that he was free to make the visit. He spoke again as he slipped his shoes on. "Right, I won't see you until lunchtime I suppose. Fucking down side of the peace around here." Levi sat on the bed and leant down, soft kisses peppering your lips which you matched perfectly. He growled and pulled away, eyes dark as his mood. "I fucking hate leaving you." You ran your hand across his cheek, transferring the strong agreement that the feeling was mutual. 

"I've got some cleaning to do, then I'll come find you, yea?" He nodded and stood, ready to make his way upstairs to get washed and dressed for the day. 

"Ok. Don't do a half assed job, (F/N). I'll be checking." Throwing up your middle finger, you grinned, seeing the glint in his eyes once more as the gesture was reciprocated.

~~~~~

The drawing room had been cleared of the remnants of the party and all vacated bedrooms cleaned by the agency staff on Sunday evening, so there was minimal work to be done. Dragging the hoover in, you made sure to get into the corners, convinced that despite the surface clean, there would be signs of the night's festive events hidden behind furniture. A paper hat, bottle cap and bizarrely a sock were unearthed and you made your way round to one of the sofas, pulling it out. With a gasp, you saw a shiny item and used your foot to hush the vacuum, loud whirring ceasing as you bent to retrieve the newly found prize. Two keys sat on a ring, a metal charm hanging with them which showed a military insignia. One key looked like a standard yale lock, the other a larger one, perhaps for an outbuilding or cupboard. Judging by the picture that stared up at you, it could mean only one thing. They were Jean's.

He hadn't mentioned losing them and you presumed he must have had a spare set hidden somewhere at home, under a brick or in a flower pot no doubt. Given how drunk he'd got, they could have been lost anywhere as far as he was concerned and you started to grin, an evil look on your face as the keys were stashed in your pocket. Continuing the clear up exercise, you danced around the room to a non existent song, elated at your discovery.

Once the ground floor had been pretty much taken care of, you put the hoover away in the cupboard, intending on tackling upstairs corridors later. You had something more important to do. In the kitchen, after a call had been made, you brewed tea, timing it by counting in your head and after what was probably four minutes you poured two cups and made your way carefully out the back, finding Levi instantly by the forest, staring out at the trees again. He heard your approach and smiled, taking the drink gratefully as the wind had picked up. Looking over, he saw the huge grin and raised an eyebrow, asking for an explanation. "Guess what I found?" you sang. The man stayed still and spoke in a tired voice. 

"I have no idea, (F/N). World peace? A fucking portal to another dimension?" His words didn't bother you and the item was pulled from your denims, dangling them in your hand like you were teasing a cat with a toy. He just blinked once, totally unmoved by what you held. "So what, you found your fucking keys?" Sighing dramatically, you shoved them closer. 

"They're not mine. Look." At last it sank in and Levi appeared interested. 

"Well, isn't that a stroke of luck, (F/N)?" His sly smirk said it all and you stood together, drinking tea and listening to the bird song in the trees. You'd already called Annie, told her what you'd found and agreed to meet tomorrow evening. Checking with your man that it was ok, you received an affirmative and started to think about how you would be sneaking into an empty house next week. It was a strangely exciting prospect.

~~~~~

Running through the halls, you couldn't see properly as the bundles of bed clothes in your arms blocked your view. With a huff you collided into a solid surface, sheets cushioning the blow and you changed direction, aiming for the door that would take you to the small staircase. Carefully moving sideways, you took the steps gingerly, not wanting to fall as no one was around to hear it should you cause yourself a characteristically clumsy injury. Erwin and your dad were out and would pick your pre-ordered item up and Levi was still outside, shift ending at midday. Not long to go, you thought telepathically to the bored man and shuffled through the ground floor towards the wash room that was attached to the back of the house.

You intended to stick the load on and get the four beds made up before lunch, hence your haste. Filling two large machines, you added the soap and softener, turning the dials to set the cycle in motion. They clicked, letting you know the doors were locked, no chance of putting anything else in now and you straightened, hands on hips. Right. New sheets. You spun on your heel and walked straight into a body, face squashed into their top, the scent all too familiar. "Jean? What are you doing here?" Had Levi been on the gate, this would not have been allowed and you stepped back against the washer to put some distance between you.

"I lost something on Saturday. Anything been handed in?" Handed in? Like you had a lost and found department? This man was incredible. Internally you mocked him, safe in the knowledge that the keys were upstairs, not on you anymore and smiled sweetly. 

"I haven't seen anything, Jean. You sure it's here?" The sullen man nodded and you imagined he'd tried everywhere before giving in and coming here. But why bother with the trip? Why not just call? Your unspoken question was answered as the large major took a step forwards and your nerves were instantly on edge, all the training in the gym making you alert and ready to go.

"One more thing while we're alone, (F/N). I still haven't forgotten your behaviour and with no one here, I can do anything. Might even blame any bruises on the runt." A huge fist came your way and you slid sideways, hearing his punch connect with the metal machine. Taking advantage of the man's moment of pain, you swung with power and landed a blow to his side, right in the ribs. Jean cried out and held his injury, shocked at your strength but the wide eyes soon turned to slits of light brown fury as he pounced again. Using his movements as momentum, you blocked and ducked, kicking out to send shockwaves up his leg. A low growl came from his throat, but before he could try again, another voice cut across the small room.

"Get. The fuck. Away." Levi's clipped and measured tone was dripping in venom and if looks could kill, Jean would certainly be dead on the floor. The shorter man hadn't seen anything, but by the way you stood he could tell you had been forced to defend yourself, body tight and prepared to spring into action. A flash of two tone hair flew towards the newcomer, but he wasn't able to make the quick journey as he was brought to the floor with a sweep of your legs, landing on his stomach at the feet of your bodyguard. Grey eyes sparkled with demonic enjoyment and Levi placed his shoe down on the cheek of the man who lay prone on the stone tiles.

"I told you she could take your fucking huge, clumsy ass down, Jean. Now fuck off before I follow up on my promise." Pressing down with his foot, he didn't want to stop, only wished to cause him so much pain but common sense took over and he stepped back, glaring as your blackmailer picked himself up slowly, the two men locking equally livid gazes. Without a word, the brunette left, marching out with importance but you could see him still holding his side where your first punch had landed. The faint sound of an engine was heard, telling you how Levi knew the guy was here. He might not have seen him, but would no doubt have recognised the car when he went to check out who had arrived.

Hands were placed softly on your cheeks, concerned eyes looking at you from under a furrowed brow. "You ok?" Nodding, you let out a breath you hadn't realised was being held inside and a gentle kiss was pressed onto your lips. "Nice move, by the way." You grinned and wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him close. There was pain in your forearms from the blocks, nothing you hadn't felt before, but this time it was a real fight and it seemed to hurt more because of that fact. Levi felt you wince and leant back, the worry once more on his face. "Did he hit you?" Sighing, you broke the embrace and held up your barely marked limbs, certain that bruising would follow shortly.

"No, I didn't give him the fucking chance. I'll pay for that soon though." Delicate hands ran over the skin that had a tiny ghost of discoloration starting to creep across it, redness showing him where purple would set in eventually and the man murmured. 

"Mother fucker." Carefully, he gave each arm a small peck, wishing he could remove the pain from your body. It was just as well he had trained you efficiently, but he wondered if the taunting had been a bad move, putting you in the face of danger. "Maybe lay off for a bit. I don't want that shit coming near you." You nodded and hugged him tight again, lips meeting with a series of kisses and with a small moan, you opened your mouth, inviting him in. It was gentle and slow, full of passion and care as tongues brushed against one another with languid movements.

Without warning, Levi pulled away frowning and grumbled with annoyance. "Fucking hell." Confused, you glared at his sudden change in mood, but then saw him reach for the small radio unit on his belt. "I'm inside. Had something to take care of. Stop fucking crying, brat." The black plastic was hooked back in place and with exasperation, he sighed. "Bunch of fucking idiots, the lot of them." He left you with a kiss and a promise. "To be continued."

The others had returned shortly afterwards and you made lunch, a new set of guards having taken up position outside to relieve the two who had been on duty. Levi had the rest of the afternoon to himself now and the Thursday feeling had begun to invade his soul early, the meal tomorrow coming closer by the minute. Having you as a companion would make it slightly easier, but it was still hard to shake the heaviness in his gut that felt like lead. You'd busied yourself with the sheets, clean linen on three out of four beds and Erwin had passed you the item from the art shop with a wink. Yea, he knew.

Your dad was busy upstairs with correspondence and the head of security was now in the gym as you knocked at the last room that needed fixing. A voice granted you entry and with arms full of pristine sheets, you pushed through to see a body standing by the window, staring out with his hands behind his back, earpiece and radio on the table. Staying quiet, you expertly arranged the fabric to create a nice new bed, the smell of the softener wafting through the room as you flapped at the cloth. "Thanks (F/N)." He hadn't moved and you were mindful of what was going on. 

"Hey?" Levi turned at your word, grim expression in place. "Want to talk?" He'd already told you everything, well, all the important things and going through how he was feeling in minute detail wouldn't help at all.

"No, it's ok."

"No worries, Levi. Do you want me to stay?"

"If you don't mind."

"Course not. Come here." Sitting on the sofa, you waved him over and he complied, flopping down heavily and leaning into you immediately, comforted to a degree by your presence and caring embrace. Staying silent, you allowed him to his thoughts and you had your own, mainly on the subject of Jean. The marks had started to deepen in colour on your arms and you could feel the throbbing at all times, a reminder of the man who unsuccessfully tried to attack you. Not long from now, it would be over though and you clung onto that beacon of light. You had no idea how much time had passed and felt your eyes dropping, unable to stay awake any longer, fatigue overcoming you from the earlier clash and enthusiastic housework.

When you woke it was getting dark and you sat up quickly, noticing immediately that you were alone. Levi had placed a blanket on you at some point before he left and you smiled at the kind gesture. The door was pushed open and the man in your thoughts entered, tray in hand and he placed it down on the coffee table. Food lay on a plate and two empty glasses were set to one side, the wine tucked under his arm being opened as you gaped at the meal. It looked delicious and professional and you glanced up as the man switched on a lamp instead of the harsh overhead lighting. "Shit, Levi, sorry I missed dinner." He poured the drinks and passed you cutlery, smirk in place. 

"Did you think we'd go hungry waiting for sleeping beauty?" Unsure how this culinary episode had happened, you could only stay silent. "What, you're surprised that I can actually fucking cook? How rude."

His voice sounded anything but insulted and you smiled as he sat down. "All this time and you never fed any of us? This looks like top class stuff." Eating correctly, you leant over so as not to risk dropping any food on the table or floor. It tasted unbelievable and you decided that soon you could do it together, combine forces. Not wanting to stop, you spoke between mouthfuls. "What did the others say?" Levi sipped his wine and relaxed back against the sofa, seeming calmer than before. Maybe cooking was as therapeutic to him as it was for you. 

"They fucking liked it better than your dinners." The smart remark was rewarded with a pinch to his leg and you swallowed, ready to retort. 

"First of all, fuck off. Second, you know what I mean."

He did and watched as you cleaned up every single piece of food from your plate, quietly scraping and sucking at the fork. It bordered on bad manners, but it was ok, a sign of gratitude and he answered your query as you took a gulp of wine. "I told them you'd come up earlier and you fell asleep, said you had a bad night or some shit. I can't even fucking remember." You sat back into his waiting arm, hand falling onto your shoulder and a cigarette was passed over. With a sigh, you patted your stomach, thoroughly stuffed.

"Thanks, Levi. That was awesome. Where did you learn to cook like that?" He blew smoke slowly from his lips and glanced over. 

"Just at home. From books." Yet another string to his bow, another reason why you found him insanely interesting and you imagined there must be so much more to discover about the man. "Your dad wants to see you at some point. Said he hasn't spoken to you for ages." It was true, he had been so busy back and forth since Sunday and any time you spent together was also in the company of others. 

"Ok, I'll get these dishes down and go see him." Planting a gentle kiss on his lips, you stood and picked up the tray. "See you later?" It was said as a question as you weren't sure if he wanted to spend the night alone given the journey tomorrow, but you were corrected. 

"Fucking right you will." Smiling, you left and delivered the items to the kitchen.

Back up on the same floor, you knocked at your father's study door, presuming he would be in there as usual and the voice confirmed your thoughts. "Hey dad!" you called, smiling at his warm face and you gave him a strong hug. 

"Have a good sleep, (F/N)?" The jest was clear in his voice and you shrugged. 

"I don't know what happened, honestly. Was talking one minute then the next thing I knew it was dusk." You sat down in the leather chair, taking up position like when you and Levi first played chess. 

"You must have needed it I suppose. Anyway, it showed us an enjoyable side of your bodyguard. Looks like you don't have to do all of the cooking after all!" Grinning, you nodded in agreement.

Your father's face changed to an expression of concern and he sat up slightly. "(F/N), I'll be honest. I don't much like the way Jean spoke to you on Saturday. Is everything ok?" Now, here was a difficult conversation. You were unable to tell him there were problems, but it would make you look stupid to say everything was all fine. The lie came out too easily, making you hate yourself for the sadly necessary untruth. 

"It was my fault, I'd been winding him up. We had an argument and I guess I wasn't ready to let it go. Childish, I know, but he can be very annoying." The man opposite didn't buy it for one second.

"(F/N), I know you and you're not one to hold silly grudges. But I also know you wouldn't be telling me a story if there wasn't good reason. I trust your judgement and I'm here for you when you're ready to open up. Just promise me one thing?" His acceptance and respect for privacy was as comforting as it was painful, causing you to scream inside at having to keep up the pretence. 

"Anything, dad." He shifted, getting comfortable and spoke seriously. 

"He hurts you, tell me. I won't stand for it, (F/N). He's perfect for politics, but not diplomacy. I can smell a bullshitter a mile off." The man never swore and you wondered if he was now regretting having Jean around.

"What's going to happen with your meetings and stuff?" Your father let out a small noise of sarcastic amusement, turning him into a person you had never seen before. 

"I can put up with him for now, but I know he's only looking out for number one. I'm not against helping those who have a dream attain that goal and he would be an amazing person to have on side should difficult negotiations be needed. But the deceit required in that line of work always makes me wonder how people like that sleep at night." There was a huge difference between your father's job and those politicians around him and he was letting you in to a rarely seen side of his personality, telling you of his lack of trust in the people he had to deal with every day.

"But I digress. Look after yourself please, (F/N). You've seemed happier these past few days. I like it. Whatever you're doing, keep it up." Trying to cover up a blush, you bowed your head and murmured back. 

"I will dad. Thank you. And you? Don't work too hard." It was obvious that he had been mid flow when you came in and you didn't want to disturb him any more than you had to. 

"I undoubtedly will, (F/N). You know me. Have a restful sleep, dear." You left him with a kiss on the cheek and a declaration of love, your heart slightly lifted at how much he had read into Jean's persona. It should have been obvious, being how adept he was at reading people and you began to think he might know a lot more about the reason for your happiness than he let on.

Meanwhile, Levi had gone to the kitchen to obtain another bottle of wine. He wasn't trying to get drunk, just taking the edge off the dark mood that had set in once again when you left. It was like you were some kind of medication to him, a solace when he was brooding and he missed you intensely even if it was only for a short while. Erwin was in the room making a coffee and he nodded to his friend when he entered. "Keeping busy, Levi?" It was said with intent and the dark haired man was well aware of it, ducking the smug question. 

"I suppose. Between all the fucking perimeter duty and cooking for you dicks, I haven't had a chance to take a shit." The large blonde laughed heartily and shook his head. 

"Always the charmer. I can see why (F/N) likes you."

"Fuck off, Erwin. I need to tell you something." The mood turned serious and unbeknownst to each other, the whole household was currently talking about Jean. Levi explained about the incident in the laundry room, the head of security's face darkening with every word, huge brows knitted together by the time the tale was finished. 

"This is getting beyond a joke, Levi. Let me help. I can be quite useful in a fraught situation, you know." His friend nodded with a grim smile, aware of what the man was capable of if required. 

"Well, we have his house keys now. Stupid fucker dropped them on Saturday, probably when he was trying to impress you." Erwin smiled and it made his face light up with sinister joy, eyes sparkling. 

"Good. Take the piece of shit down." Shortly after, Levi had returned upstairs, leaving the man behind to watch television in the drawing room.

You walked through the small atrium that split your father's rooms from those of the security staff. The two on the left were empty and the second on the right was the one you aimed for. Knocking lightly, you were allowed in and saw Levi sitting on the sofa, leg crossed over the other, book in hand. He placed it down gently, marking his page with a piece of leather and smiled as you locked the door behind you. "Is Erwin in?" His room was next door and given your intentions, it might be best to spend the night at yours. 

"I don't give a shit, (F/N). He knows." The man stood and set the book on the pile that laid in the chest by his window, arranging them so they stacked in order of size.

"Yes, but that's no reason to disturb his sleep." Arms were wrapped around your waist, lips on your neck, words spoken between kisses. 

"Again, I don't give a shit. I think he's downstairs anyway." Unable to put up any resistance and not wanting to either, you grabbed his ass tightly and smiled, ready to get started on what would certainly be another amazing night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, sorry about how damn long these chapters are! Hadn't learnt the art of being concise back when I wrote this!


	12. Tempest

Breakfast was amusing if slightly embarrassing, as Erwin kept giving you and Levi filthy looks. Your inability to remain quiet in the heat of the moment had evidently been experienced through walls that were thick, but apparently not thick enough. That and perhaps the sound of the headboard crashing into the stone divider between the rooms on more than one occasion had probably disturbed the stern blonde last night. As you sipped your tea, coffee a long forgotten friend, you caught the eye of the man opposite, grey eyes alive and flecked with silver.

He kept up the facade of reading the paper that was delivered every day, but in reality he was recalling the reason for his friend's annoyance, thinking about when you had held tightly to the wooden item at the top of the bed as he gripped your soft hips, pushing into you from behind with vigorous stamina. It was certainly a favourite of his so far and one of yours too if the shouts and moans were anything to go by.

Nibbling your toast, you tried to remain calm, but all you wanted to do was laugh. It was out of character slightly to be so blazé about being heard, but you had never been in such an impassioned relationship before and you relished the physical side as much as the emotional. Despite the positions the two of you had been in over the past few days, you were still gentle with each other, the sweet embraces and tender kisses both common occurrences.

Unable to take it any longer, Erwin muttered something about the gym and left, not before shooting the two lovers a final glare. Stifling a giggle behind your cup, you tried to turn it into a cough, only achieving what sounded like a wounded animal. "You alright, (F/N)?" Looking up, you saw Levi's own mug in place over his mouth and smiled over to your dad. 

"Sorry, tea went down the wrong way." The older man nodded and made what was supposed to be another caring comment, unaware of just how wrong it sounded. 

"Be careful, don't swallow too fast or you'll choke." Levi stood, not in any way able to contain himself and walked away without a word, biting back the need to laugh with his lips tightly pressed together. You started coughing again, for real this time, face turning red and tears in your eyes. Your father shook his head, mumbling how he had told you so and left the beetroot coloured woman in peace to compose herself.

~~~~~~

By eleven you had put on a festive jumper, nothing too gaudy but it was in keeping with the season, dark blue with tiny silver stars woven in. You wanted to try and make it as nice an occasion as possible, both for Levi and his friend. The gifts were bagged up and ready to go and you thought about what it might be like today, hoping that it was as light and cheerful as could be, given the circumstances. From the brief time you had spent at the hospital, it seemed like the sort of place that would go out of it's way to make the residents comfortable and have as normal a Christmas as possible and you imagined decorations, music and a hearty meal.

The knock at your door let you know it was time to go and find out if the pictures in your mind were correct and you opened up to greet Levi. He was wearing his usual and you hadn't expected anything else. If he had turned up in a santa hat, it would have been slightly disconcerting. Cute, but ultimately off putting. "Ready?" You held your bag up to let him know you were sorted and he felt that same rush of admiration at the gifts once more. He never bothered with it himself. If he found something he thought his friend would like, he got it, but he understood your traditions, realising it was him that had the less than normal approach to this time of year.

Waving over, you enthusiastically bid farewell to your father who for once was out in the garden, just sitting and relaxing, finally taking a break from work. You'd told him earlier that you were meeting a friend for lunch today, which was at least not another lie really, but you omitted the venue. This time, as it was later in the day, the sound of birds in the trees was less insistent, their morning screeches all done with and now they just offered the odd call from up high. It made the journey even more peaceful, the babbling river winding its way beside you making it's gurgling noises in greeting. Levi reached out and put his arm across your shoulders, pulling you in close and you placed your own hug around his waist, bruises on your arms screaming at being disturbed but they were easy to ignore as the pair of you strolled slowly down the dirt track.

"I'll warn you, it might be a huge cluster fuck in there, (F/N)." Nodding, you could see why that may be the case, so many troubled minds brought together in one place, made to socialise, some with family or friends, others without. It was a sad thought that was also a harsh reality as it was obvious to imagine that the hospital was a place for people to be admitted and forgotten about, the only reminder being a monthly payment disappearing from a bank account. Trying to ignore the depressing truth, you looked up to see dark clouds threatening, the sun a distant memory and you felt the muggy heat that prickled at you and announced a thunder storm was on the way.

As you reached the view point, the suggestion of a downpour was made more apparent, low clouds circling around the mountains to the right, blocking the peaks from view and fog trailed alongside the stream in the middle of the valley. It was still a beautiful sight but now it was laced with threat and the sudden stillness made you uneasy, no birdsong now and any other sounds that may have been out there were muted by the thick atmosphere. Usually you enjoyed a good storm, sitting at your window watching the flashes snake across the black skies and loving the freshness that was left behind as a treat for surviving the incident. Today seemed bleaker though and the grip around your shoulders increased as Levi felt it too. "Come on." He led you away, your eyes still taking in the moody scene for as long as possible in a kind of morbid fascination.

The gates of the hospital came into focus and you noted that tinsel had been wound around the iron in an inviting gesture, bulbs attached to some of the trees twinkling out in the dim midday light that was slowly becoming darker, like nightfall was upon you already. All it needed was a clap of thunder to finish it off and you would be convinced it was some kind of cheap horror movie. The thought made you giggle without warning but Levi said nothing and took a deep breath as he pushed the button for attention.

It was the same nurse from before that granted you entry, but this time he had reindeer antlers made from fabric on his head secured by a read band. His warm smile washed away any sense of foreboding you previously had and music filtered through from the communal area. As imagined, the place was covered in decorations and people milled about, some obviously family and others alone and looking confused or apathetic at the whole situation. Farlan looked up from where he sat tearing pieces from a paper plate and waved, no sign of any feminine qualities today and Levi led you over to meet his friend. A strong handshake and a quick hug were shared and the light haired man peered over the top of the darker head to look down at you, grin in place.

"So who's this then, eh?" Levi got a good natured elbow in the side and a wink as you were introduced. "Pleased to meet you, (F/N). Nice." He had a boyish charm and seemed like the kind of guy that was always joking and winding his friend up. That was when he was stable, you presumed. The two men chatted lightly, reminiscing over incidents in their past with smiles and quite a few rolled eyes from the older of the two. Farlan spoke like these things happened only yesterday and Levi didn't attempt to correct him once, allowing the belief to remain.

Anecdotes were shared and you were included in the discussions too, being asked your opinion on whether it was right or wrong to keep a frog as a pet at the age of 16 and if you thought any less of your companion knowing now that he once stole tinned carrots from a drop off box that was supposed to be for a food bank. In your humble opinion, the amphibian was fine, as were the pilfered vegetables. It was fun and food was brought round, hot, festive and delicious. A few shouts had been heard throughout the room but no one paid any attention, other than the staff to check that the person involved was ok and comfortable being in such a crowd.

By the time dinner was over, there were games on offer and some joined in, but the three of you remained seated. That's when a voice came defiantly drifting over, a younger man striding across and pointing. "That's him!" Levi just sighed and mumbled with almost unmoving lips, not wanting the newcomer to see him speak. 

"Here we fucking go again." The brunette approached, green eyes full of anger as he came to a halt at your table, accusation on his youthful face. 

"That's the guy who locked me up, beat the shit out of me." He looked livid, but the man by your side just shook his head. 

"No, no I'm not." He spoke calmly, whereas others might shout or try to defend themselves, horrified of the words that had just been uttered. But not Levi.

"Yes! It's you, I know it is, I….." He wasn't allowed to finish as a woman with hair as black as the man next to you appeared, her glare on everyone at the table. 

"Don't, Eren." She led the still shouting young man away and you watched as they sat together again, joining a blonde who looked utterly terrified. Farlan laughed, a pure and honest sound and Levi started to quietly explain. 

"Every single time, (F/N). He thinks I'm some captain, responsible for his safety in some way but apparently I'm also a sadistic bastard." The way he said it was without malice and something in his voice stood out. Not sorrow or guilt, but maybe sympathy. He had to watch his only true friend deteriorate over the years and you imagined that kind of experience would give anyone an understanding of how fragile unravelling minds could be.

"That's his sister," offered Farlan, referring to the woman, now picking at the skin round his finger nails, biting and scratching. "She's always here to visit." He spoke in a monotone fashion, mood noticeably changed and Levi looked round as he was addressed. "I want to go home now please." No sign of his previous enthusiasm was present and there was a darkness that seemed to be painted across his eyes. His friend stood and placed a gentle hand on a broad shoulder, signalling that he would be taking him back. The nurse with the antlers came from nowhere and helped Levi lift the now emotionless man, steering him towards the corridor. 

"I'll be back soon." You just nodded, content to wait for as long as was required.

As the three disappeared from sight, you heard a commotion, scuffs of shoes on the squeaky floor and raised voices that signified the journey home was not an easy one. With concern, you sat back, hoping everything was ok and you looked up to see the timid man who had stared over from the other table earlier. He sat next to you, lips moving slightly without any sound as scared eyes scanned the pieces of torn paper on the table that Farlan had left. Once he seemed satisfied, he raised his gaze, impossible blue eyes looking out from underneath a mop of blonde hair. "H-hi, I'm Armin. Sorry about my friend." The young man was referring to who you thought was called Eren but you hadn't committed the name to memory yet. Smiling over at the sweet face that spoke, you leant forward slightly in an attempt to be friendly. Instead, it just resulted in Armin flinching back, so you sat back up again without a word.

"I'm not very good with people. I-I find it hard to, you know, socialise." He was obviously making a huge effort just to be sitting here talking to you and it made you wonder why he was doing it. Perhaps pushing outside the comfort zone? The small voice came through again, the stutter of apprehension now gone as his eyes lit up. "What's it like outside?" That threw you. Surely he would have gone out for walks and fresh air? 

"What do you mean, Armin? Don't you get out in the grounds?" You spoke quietly so as not to scare him off, but he didn't seem to be bothered now he had a clear conversation in mind.

"Yes but that's different. It's all the same stale air around here. I can't remember what it's like further out. I read books, see pictures, but it's like a foreign land to me." He was getting closer, almost pleading to have the world explained to him. You presumed it wasn't necessarily an indication of how long he had been here, or units like it, but maybe he had pushed the memories away so he couldn't recall what he was desperately missing. Unsure of whether he wanted a full on enthusiastic description or just reassurance that it wasn't so great out there after all, you trod carefully. 

"Well, I don't see a lot of it nowadays myself, Armin. But there's a place I just discovered that's nice. I can describe it if you want?" The fervent nod confirmed your next move and you started to paint a mental picture of the view seen on the way here, but the one from before, not the stormy, tumultuous image that hung over the valleys and hills. Leaving nothing out, you told him of the smells, the sounds, the breeze and how far it seemed to stretch into the distance, all the while watched by an enraptured blonde. When you finished, he looked like he might fall as he was dangerously far forwards on the edge of his seat. For a moment he just sat staring, eyes glossed over and a small smile of wonder on his lips. When he finally spoke, it was in a whisper. 

"Thank you. What's your name?" You smiled again, aware of Levi approaching. 

"I'm (F/N)."

Before he could say any more, a dark voice sounded out in stark contrast to the child like one that had just spoken. 

"Time to go." Jumping up, you gathered the gifts that were still in a bag under the table and said goodbye to Armin, his eyes watching you leave like you were some kind of prophet come to save humanity. A shout came from across the room, a different kind of farewell. 

"Don't come back again, leave me alone!" That would be the brunette. At the main door, you passed your offerings to the nurse. 

"For Farlan and Isabel." The man smiled warmly and took them with gratitude. 

"That's very kind, Miss. Merry Christmas." You gave your own season's greetings and hurried after the shape of the quickly moving man with raven hair.

No rain had fallen yet, but the threat was still there, even darker out here than before but it was still only around 3pm. Had you planned it correctly, Annie could have been met now while you were out instead of later, but you hadn't thought. Outside the grounds you passed a cigarette to Levi and glanced up to see his fatigued face, lips tight and his eyes looked like pools of tar in the dim afternoon. He grabbed your hand tightly, squeezing hard. Had the reason not have been evident you might have protested as it was bordering on painful, but instead you gripped back, an anchor to his sanity. Reaching the point that you had just described to your new acquaintance, Levi stopped and sat the two of you on a bench that you hadn't even noticed before.

Sitting quietly, he motioned for another smoke and you complied, aware that he was building up to speak. "I don't know how much more I can fucking take, (F/N)." Breathing out harshly, threads of grey spilled from his mouth as he stared straight ahead into the thick clouds that seemed to be coming further down to meet you, droplets of moisture from the atmosphere already making you slightly wet even though it wasn't raining. "I haven't had to do that for a while. Everyone else was needed in the fucking main room so the only option was…" He stopped and shook his head, gathering himself to avoid any kind of breakdown. You placed a hand on his thigh in support and let him compose himself. "I had to fucking hold him down, (F/N). Pin him to the bed like he was an enemy and let the nurse fucking stick that shitty needle in him."

Squeezing tight to let him know you were there, you heard him sigh and continue. "I had no fucking choice. He was punching and kicking when he realised we were going into the room, not home. Fuck." Sitting in silence, you moved to bring Levi into a sideways hug, letting him rest his head on your shoulder while he dealt with the pain of having to subdue his friend and allow him to be medicated against his will. Around twenty minutes passed and you made a quiet suggestion. 

"Why not call them? See how he is now?" With the walk, it had been nearly an hour since you'd left and despite not knowing what kind of effects the injection would have had on Farlan, maybe he would be more calm. The man who lay against you considered it and sat up, face still tormented to a degree but certainly lighter now he had some time to process it all.

He pulled out his phone and scrolled through the contacts and then put it back in his pocket. "Still too soon." Nodding, you sat quietly again, brought from your thoughts after a short while. "Can't visit tomorrow either. Short staffed on Christmas Eve. Probably just as fucking well." No more could be said on the matter as a distant rumble came from the direction of the mountains, echoing through the valley. As if on cue, a drop of heavy rain fell on your hand, then another on your nose. "Oh shit, just what I fucking need." Levi grabbed your hand as he spoke and pulled you up, quickly making the descent but you turned and looked out over the dark scene as a streak of lightning scored across the skies, cutting through the air in a swift flash, it's cracking bellow following shortly after in a cry of power.

The hairs on the back of your neck tingled as electricity filled the air and you both started to run, feet pounding on the dirt track that would surely become a muddy slide soon. At the bottom, the rain became heavier, roar of water on trees filling your ears and you yanked at the hand you gripped to, tugging him under one of the large conifers. Grey eyes looked at you with disbelief and you shouted your explanation. "We can hide here until it passes." Levi shook his head, exasperation on his face and a stern response was given. 

"One, you can't stand under a fucking big ass tree in a storm. Two, you think this shit is going to go away any time soon?" Both were valid points and you saw a small smile creep over his lips. Despite the current situation and the one left behind just over an hour ago, he couldn't help but be amused by the predicament you both found yourselves in.

Grinning, you shrugged, realising how ridiculous the act of using nature's lightning rod as a temporary hideout was and asked him for his advice. "So what then?" The flecks of silver that you loved to see were back and as the downpour intensified, his answer was delivered. 

"Run for it. No fucking choice. But first…" The words stopped as you shared a rain-soaked kiss, mouths pressed together as closely as your bodies were, rivers of liquid running down your faces. Standing with one another, you took a moment to come to a silently mutual agreement that this usually awful dilemma was actually quite funny, the comic relief that was needed to wash away the prior events and Levi tucked your now soaked locks behind your ear with care.

He took your hand once more and with a squeal of childish excitement you took to your heels, running so fast that you might almost pinwheel over as your body tried to keep up with the feet that sprinted on the much needed concrete of the road you were now on. A few cars passed with blaring horns, wipers swishing with speed, lights on full beam to illuminate their path and you laughed, soaked to the bone and not giving a single shit. The gates of home came into view and as you slid through the pedestrian entry a face peered out from the wooden hut, the off site guard taking refuge in the small building, glad for some semblance of protection from the raging storm.

Crashing through the main door, you slammed it shut before the wind could rip it from it's hinges and stood together dripping in the entrance hall, chests heaving with the effort of the journey. Erwin appeared from the drawing room, a small smile on his face as he took in your appearances. "Ever heard of an umbrella?" Laughter erupted from your very core, holding your hand to your ribs as a pain flowed through, the result of too much physical activity after what had been a large meal. As if to solidify the reason for your jovial reaction, a flash lit up the sky and proved why a metal object out in this weather could be disastrous.

The giggles were halted as lights flickered and you heard a far off deep thump that was muffled but also magnified by the low clouds, sound waves being carried across the earth sideways rather than the usual upwards direction. "Bollocks." Levi spat the word out as the house was plunged into relative darkness, the late afternoon shrouded in black. "There goes the fucking power plant." It generated electricity to the whole town and had seemingly been struck by the last bolt that shot from the sky. There was still enough light to see a little of your surroundings and you heard footsteps on the main staircase. 

"(F/N)? Levi? Is that you?" The urgent sound of your father's voice was close and you called out. 

"Yes it's us, got caught out in that."

His body neared and he looked you both up and down with a smile. "Go get yourselves sorted. Hopefully we still have gas in the kitchen, otherwise its sandwiches for dinner!" Two things were on your mind right now. One being that you couldn't meet Annie now and the other was food. You weren't hungry yet, but you probably would be soon despite the pull in your side that chastised you for eating too much earlier. The soaked man next to you slipped off his shoes and asked a question. 

"Anyone got a fucking torch?" Sighing, you pulled the phone from his pocket, currently not caring what it might look like to those around, hand stuffed in the man's trousers.

"Flashlight. Sorted." Levi grabbed the item after your sarcastic words and turned on the bright light, passing it back as you left your muddy footwear on the mat too, shining your illumination around the hall while you were spoken to. 

"Come on. Try not to fucking drip everywhere." Your father and Erwin watched with smiles as the water logged figures disappeared up the stairs, white beacon leading the way as your grumbled discussion became quieter as voices got further away.

"How am I supposed to stop dripping?"

"I don't fucking know, (F/N). Soak it up or something."

"Soak it up? I'm not a fucking sponge!"

"Tch. Well at least clean up the puddles later."

"Look! You're leaving a goddamn trail too!"

"And I'll fucking mop it up!"

"Shut up, Levi."

"No."

You were too far for any more to be heard and both of the men on the ground floor were oblivious to the smiles the two of you had on your faces, the exchange all good natured with more than a hint of playful, argumentative flirting. Your father sighed and turned to his bodyguard and friend. "They're like a pair of children sometimes." Erwin just laughed, all too aware of what the two were capable of and it was certainly adult themed. "Come, Erwin. I'll get the fire started, make it nice and cosy." They carefully moved into the drawing room, the light from the large man's own phone helping out and avoiding any bashed shins on furniture.

Upstairs, you followed Levi to his room, still snapping at each other. "You can mop to whole lot up then if you're so fucking good." He opened up the door, glancing round at your order. 

"Oh can I?" He strode in and started to peel off the wet clothes that stuck to his body, making him feel cold and more than a little dirty. The sound of the lock clicking made him look up, but the light from the device in your hand had gone, plunging the room into darkness. "Oi, what are you doing? I can't see shit." He waited impatiently, soaked fabric bundled up in his arms and a flash of lightning lit up the scene briefly, letting him see how close you were now standing. 

"Not scared of the dark, are you Levi?"

Placing the phone down on the table, you switched the strong beam on again and light shone upwards, bathing the space in an eerie glow as you spoke quietly. "If you want me to do the stairs, you had better make it worth my while." Pulling off the drenched garments slowly, you undressed in front of him, intentionally taking your time and teasing the man with well placed bends and positions. 

"Fucking hell, (F/N)." Levi dropped his dirty clothes, adding them to your pile and you stood together, naked and slightly damp. 

"I've got to call Annie." Reaching down, you searched for the mobile in your jeans, hoping it hadn't been ruined, well aware of the ball of frustration standing beside you.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" You straightened and held up the phone in an answer. 

"No. We can't go out in this tonight." Dialling, you strolled around the room, bare skin on display for the benefit of the sexually charged man, his excitement obvious even in the dim light. He watched you closely as you walked with a slight wiggle, chatting lightly to your friend and rearranging a lunch date for tomorrow, weather permitting. Not able to contain himself any longer, Levi closed the gap between you and pressed against your back, making you stand still as hands began to search across the front of your body, kisses placed on your neck.

Luckily, the call was over and you dropped the phone, leaning your head back against his shoulder as your breasts were squeezed with feverish force, his erection digging into your flesh. "Someone's eager," you purred, smiling widely. The man growled into your ear, the sound mixing with harsh rain in the window. 

"I can't fucking help it, (F/N). You make me want to do terrible things to you." You weren't able to reply as arms wrapped strongly around your waist and you were picked up with ease, turned and thrown down on the bed, landing on hands and knees with a squeak. "You can fucking stay like that. Mmm." Levi stood and admired your form, eyes eating up your perfect body as a bolt of electricity in the sky illuminated the view.

Anticipation ran through you as the heavens rumbled once more. You couldn't keep still and turned your head to look back, instantly ordered by a silky voice. "Who said you could move?" Letting out a moan, you returned to your prescribed position and listened as a drawer was opened and closed, the sound of a small packet being torn reaching your ears along with a slight noise from his lips as you imagined him rolling the item into place. Movement alerted you to the fact that Levi was now kneeling on the bed, coming closer and a finger brushed against your clit from behind.

Your breath caught in your throat as that devilish drawl spoke once more. "I'll show you what happens if you're a fucking tease, (F/N)." Hands stroked at your bare skin and Levi felt intense power racing through him, totally in control now. "You'll do what I say and take what I fucking give you." The sound of his commanding voice drove you crazy and he gripped your hip tightly on one side, other hand guiding his throbbing member to your entrance. With a snarl of pure sexual desire, he pushed inside strongly and you cried out in pleasure as another crash of thunder joined your gratification.

~~~~~~

Bouncing around the kitchen, phone lighting the way, you rummaged through the drawers for candles, not intending on cooking by the strange electronic glow from the bulb in your device. You set the tea lights around your work area and started to select some produce, picking items with a trained eye and a wide grin. The intense storm still raged outside, battering the windows and providing ever increasing flashes of lightning. It had been just as tempestuous upstairs earlier and you started to prepare vegetables, mind elsewhere, thoughts firmly on the way you had been turned into a completely compliant partner by Levi's voice alone, obeying orders and enjoying every single second of it. Maybe the electricity in the atmosphere had done something to him, the effects of the weather turning him into the insanely authoritative persona, almost an exaggerated show of his ever present superior air.

Whatever it was, you had loved it, but also liked the way the two of you had laid together as usual a while afterwards before showering, cuddles and kisses shared with gazes of admiration, the care still present. The state of your clothes meant that you had to make a mad dash down the halls to the stairs, towel wrapped around you and hoping you didn't run into either of the other men. No incidents occurred, thankfully and you were able to get into some nice clean clothes.

Before you came in to cook and after you had mopped the stairs, you checked the drawing room and found your father and Erwin sitting chatting by the open fire, the scene a festive one with all of the decorations. They had pulled a chair and a sofa across along with a coffee table so the furniture circled the flames, making it seem like a small, cosy living area. Neither asked where you had been for such a long time, so you cheerfully announced you'd be getting dinner ready in the kitchen and not to worry about helping, you had it under control. Both men had smiled in thanks and returned to their discussion, cigars smoking and sipping at brandy.

Shit. You'd been daydreaming and totally lost concentration, slicing into your finger instead of a potato. You let out a guttural sound, partly in pain but also in annoyance and stuck your injured digit in your mouth. It was a bad move, the chef's knife had been expertly sharpened and the amount of blood meant you could taste the flow of iron and you gagged involuntarily at the flavour. Not wanting to create yet another puddle that would need cleaning, you grabbed some kitchen paper, clamping it round the wound, white tissue turning red instantly. The sight didn't bother you, what kind of person who was sickened by blood would want to be in the medical field? But the amount did and you had to stem it fast.

There was a kit in the pantry as this was not the first time someone had come to harm at the end of a blade in here, perils of the job. Bringing it over to the candles, you fumbled to open the clasp with one hand, struggling against the plastic container. "Fucking bastards, piece of shit, just fucking open, dammit!" Your grumbles were met with a small laugh and you looked round to see Levi standing at your side, smirk in place that still held the satisfied expression from your earlier sex. 

"Having trouble?" Smiling back, you weakly held up your hand to show him the reason for the outburst. His face changed instantly to a look of concern and he bowed down, taking your offered limb carefully. 

"How the fuck did you manage that?" Shrugging, you explained how the lapse in attention had resulted in the injury, watching as he frowned at the deep slice in your flesh.

"Fuck me, (F/N), I thought we worked on your concentration?" He led you over to the sink, box in hand and held your finger under the stream. 

"It was your fault, Levi. What do you think I was preoccupied with, hmm?" Drying you off on more tissue, the man rustled through the kit and pulled out what he needed, gently sealing the cut and wrapping it tightly in waterproof plasters. Looking up, he smiled again and leant forward, face lit beautifully by the flickering candle light and he spoke in a monotone voice, seemingly bored by what he said. 

"I think you were reliving that amazing fuck I just gave you. Would that be a fair assumption?" The gleam in his eyes was delightfully deviant and you crossed your arms, bending at the waist to close the gap between you. 

"Maybe. Or it might just have been the fact that I left a tiny spot of rain water on the stairs, just for you Levi."

His lips curled slightly, not wholly sure if you were telling the truth or not, the butter incident still clear in his mind. But he doubted it. The way you acted with respect towards his issue, as he called it, would mean you would never intentionally provoke him that way again. "Whatever. Now let's get this shit back on track." Grinning, you went to clean up the scene of your accident, quickly disinfecting the surfaces and discarding the potato cubes in case any blood had got onto them, knife stowed in the dishwasher as Levi began to chop at the gathered vegetables with skill.

You'd been joking about the stairs and still felt bad about leaving the one bit of spread in the kitchen that time, but that was before you became aware of the full extent of his need for cleanliness. There was no way you would taunt him like that anymore, but you could tease him with the suggestion. Working together, you chatted as you cooked, gas thankfully still in operation and the pot on the stove bubbled away, the creation promising to be a warming, homely meal, just what was needed on a day like this. Watching the pan, you were hugged from behind, strong arms holding you softly and a kiss was placed on your cheek. "Be careful in future. Could have taken your whole fucking finger off." Leaning back, you tilted your head and took his lips in yours, reassuring him you would take heed of his advice.

Dinner was had in the small dining room, more candles making it seem like a romantic occasion if it wasn't for Erwin and your father being present. Light conversation was held, wine sipped and compliments given to the chefs. "I hope there weren't any surprises lurking in there," laughed your father, pointing at your patched up injury. Shaking your head with a smile, you allayed his playful fears and started to clear the dishes, but you were stopped by a hand on your arm. 

"Let me." Erwin took the plates away as you thanked him, belly full and contentment in your being.

The evening moved to the drawing room, the wind and rain still assaulting the house but the fire in here made it feel secure and comfortable. Your father occupied the large chair with another brandy and the two security men took up position on the sofa. For some reason you decided to sit cross legged on the floor between them, leaning back on the cushions that were meant to be sat on, cigarette in hand. It was a childish gesture apart from the white stick between your fingers, but the ambience in the room made you feel like a kid again, reminiscent of winter nights with your parents.

The men talked about this and that, enjoying each other's company and after a while your backside began to hurt, going numb from the hard floor so you climbed up, wedging into the space that was left on the sofa, bodyguards on each side. As the conversation went on, a combination of things made you weary. The long day, the visit earlier, running through the rain, vigorous sex, darkness and wine. It was something you were becoming rather good at and you once more fell asleep where you really shouldn't have.

An hour passed and your father looked over with a smile, Erwin by his side from where they stood together by the fire. "Shall we leave them here?" whispered the head of security, unsure what to do with the two comatose figures on the sofa. Your cheek was resting on Levi's shoulder, hand over his waist and he had laid his head back against the comfortable padding slightly to the side, chin on your hair and not a sign of his usual scowl in sight. It was the picture of serenity and your dad laughed lightly. 

"Best not. I know my daughter, she'll no doubt dribble at some point and no one wants to deal with the repercussions of that." He leant down and squeezed your knee gently, making you snap your eyes open instantly.

Confusion took a while to clear and you suddenly realised what was going on and who you were lying against, in front of the two men. Blushing, you sat up and prodded Levi in the ribs, causing him to wake with a start, body tense like there was the need to fight. "What the fuck?" He saw two sets of eyes looking down with amusement and slowly turned to see your red cheeks, coming to the conclusion that he must have drifted off at some point after you had dropped your head on his shoulder. 

"Bed time, I think, yes?" Grumbling about you being an intolerable brat, the dark haired man stood at your dad's suggestion and pulled you up by the hand as the fire was put out, phones once more lighting the way. You all walked upstairs together and through your foggy mind a single thought stuck out. It might be the first time in nearly a week that you would have to sleep alone.

At your floor there was a pause, wishes of good nights shared but the three men didn't move. "Erm…" You didn't know what to do or say other than that and Levi shuffled uncomfortably, looking at the wall. Your father broke the silence and asked two members of the small group for privacy. 

"(F/N), pop to bed dear. Erwin, good night my friend. I need a moment with sleepy head here." Smiling, he nodded, telling you it was ok and you slowly walked to your door, glancing over at your lover with trepidation. Crawling into bed, you tried to get settled but the lack of a body next to you and the curiosity of what was happening in the hallway meant you were now wide awake.

Outside, Levi shifted his gaze to the other wall, unsure what was going on but feeling decidedly awkward. The kind voice relieved him slightly and he turned to look at the friendly man as he was spoken to. "I'm an intelligent man, Levi. I know how to read body language well. I wouldn't be where I am today without that skill. So let me ask you two questions." He watched closely as his daughter's protector nodded once, ready to respect his request. "What's the situation with Jean and what are your intentions with (F/N)?" Levi waited, collecting his thoughts before forming a response. He respected your dad, the man was caring and accommodating and very sharp minded, just like you. Truth would be the only way to answer and he turned to face him completely, ready to be honest.

"Jean is using her to get to you and your friends in high positions." The look he received told him that this was pretty much what was expected and with an internal scream, he moved on to the more personal query, uneasy at being made to discuss feelings with anyone but the woman who was just down the hall. "And I am very fond of (F/N). She understands me like no one else ever has. I don't want to let that go." Keeping his language in check, Levi retained his usual blank tone and made sure not to swear and sully his serious admission, still fraught at having to speak it out loud. Your father sighed, addressing the statements in turn.

"Whatever that man has on her, get it sorted. I'm sure she's already planning something, she always is, but I want him gone." He didn't need to know what was behind your acceptance of Jean and didn't want to. His dark expression changed, a smile now on his face but warning still laced his next words. "And Levi? Look after her. I know she's strong, body and mind but she's still my little girl and I won't see her hurt. This doesn't affect how I see you professionally, you understand? As long as you can keep it separate, so can I." He was terribly astute and intensely tolerant. Levi wanted to be out of this moment right now though, anxiety levels at their peak and he gave your father a strong nod. 

"Of course, Sir. I will, on both counts." Satisfied, your father smiled wider and gestured down the hall, allowing the man to go and be with you as he walked away.

Standing for a few seconds, the raven haired guard visibly shuddered, body restless and edgy still from the conversation and he made his way to your door. It wasn't locked and as it opened, you sprung up from the bed, eyes wide and lit by the phone that was in the hand of your man as you managed one word. "What….?" He sighed, happy to leave the previous chat behind and undressed, fully intending on crawling in next to you and curling up to continue his sleep. 

"That was the worst fucking moment, (F/N). I feel violated." You giggled, only imagining what might have occurred, but whatever it was, the result was the naked man climbing under the covers and lying closely, hand clasped tightly in yours as he relayed the episode in the hallway.

"Fucking hell, Levi. Well, that's four now. You were right, but I don't think it'll take until Easter anymore. Maybe New Years?" He let out a small laugh and pulled you into him, hugging gently. 

"Night, (F/N)." It didn't take long for you to fall back into slumber despite the storm that rattled at the window, tired and contented brains shutting down quickly as flashes of light spread through the room tracing white waves across the bodies that were in an untroubled dream land.


	13. Metamorphosis

An annoying wailing noise woke you, making you sit up with a groan beside the equally groggy body that was also in the bed. For a moment, neither people could figure it out, but Levi pulled himself from sleep first. "Power's back on. Fucking alarm must have reset." Looking over, you saw it was ten to six, far too early to be getting up despite your satisfying sleep and you flopped back down as the man got up, dragging himself out of bed to pull yesterday's clothes on. He had one leg in his jeans when the noise stopped, ears ringing with a tinny whine now that they had been spared the assault and you both silently praised Erwin for sorting it out so quickly. Kicking the clothes away, Levi rolled back into the covers and lay close, hand stroking the soft skin of your waist and hips in soothing motions.

"How's your finger?" You'd forgotten about it actually and held it up as if you could see through the plaster.   
"Ok I guess. Bit sore, but I'll live." Kisses were placed on your shoulder from where his head rested and he sighed, breath tickling your skin. 

"I'm not getting back to fucking sleep now. Sodding alarm." Smiling, you gave into the fact that now you had no chance of returning to dreams either as fingers traced across your stomach, leaving tickles and shivers in their wake, a touch that both of you knew would undoubtedly lead to sex.

~~~~~~

Levi was now outside, taking up position on the front gate, jacket over his top as the cool air whipped around him in gusts of wind. The storm had cleared the atmosphere but a blustery breeze was still in force. He hated standing out here, however it had to be done and at least it was only for a few hours. The earpiece remained silent and his mind wandered to thoughts of the woman he was now free to spend time with in front of the others for now, clinging on to the fact that you had over a week left before the rest of the staff returned.

In the house you gazed from your window, oblique view allowing a glimpse of the man on the gate as he stood still, glaring out down the driveway, hair blowing in strands of ebony around his face. The phone in your hand was ringing out, international dialling tone beeping in your ear. It was picked up, sing song voice making you grin. "Heyyyyy (F/N)! How's my favourite girl? Been christening the house?" Laughing, you shook your head and replied to your close friend, eyes on the subject of your conversation.

"Hey Hange, you ok? I'm good thanks and only three rooms so far." That was all you were giving her and she squealed, begging for more information but you refused. "Not a chance. But basically dad, Erwin and Mike all know now."

"Jesus, in less than a week? Good going, (F/N)!"

"Well Mike said I smelt like Levi, whatever the fuck that means and Erwin guessed and then might have overheard some things."

"The poor man! You've probably scarred him for life."

"Yea, I feel a bit bad for the guy. And then last night in front of him and dad I kind of fell asleep on Levi and I woke up hugging him."

"Too cute! What did shorty do?"

"Erm, he fell asleep on me too. So that was pretty much all dad needed to know!"

"That is just adorable, I miss you guys."

"Miss you too Hange." You went on to explain the conversation with your father and Levi, once more eliciting squeaks of joy from the woman at the end of the line and then almost broke her with the news of Jean's keys. She sounded like she might hyperventilate as you told her of the plan to gain access to his home next week. You'd never been to his house, but he had been at great pains to tell you exactly where he lived, showing off with the salubrious address as the road was a sought after place to have your abode. At the time, you hadn't taken it as anything but conversation, but now you knew it had been blatant boasting.

"How's everything there? Good to be home?" Hange shuffled, the line crackling due to the distance and answered. 

"It's ok. My family is crazier than me, though. Not sure if I can hold out another whole week." Imagining a house full of bubbly and slightly unhinged relatives made you laugh and the two of you chatted a while longer, discussing how she wasn't allowed in the kitchen and also an incident with the chemistry set that was supposed to be for a nephew. It had basically ended up with her having to go buy another one, walking through the shops with slightly sparse eyebrows. You did truly miss her vivacious character and couldn't wait to see your friend again.

Leaving each other eventually with well wishes for Christmas, you hung up and lit a cigarette, peering outside. Levi was gone, an off site man in his place and you heard a knock at the door. "It's open," you called and the grumpy man you'd been looking for entered. 

"Fucking freezing out there. Actually feels like Christmas Eve for once." He placed icy hands on your cheeks to prove a point and you yelped, jumping back from his touch. 

"Let's go get some tea, warm you up before we have to go back out again." With a grumble, he followed behind after your words, watching your ass lead the way down the corridor, a habit he would never grow out of.

The house was silent, your dad and Erwin out to run last minute errands, obtaining food and drink for tomorrow and you stood in the kitchen, pot brewing the hot liquid. At the correct moment, you poured and Levi gave a small noise of appreciation, glad that you finally seemed to have gotten the hang of the four minute mark. "We're not meeting Annie until two. It's training day." He looked across at your utterance, leaning back on the counter and sizing up his options. True, you needed to keep up the activity, but he was still fucking tired out from yesterday and it made him feel old. Not prepared to give in to that sensation, he nodded. 

"Ok. Just an hour."

Once you had changed, you made the familiar trip to the gym, cold air biting at your skin. He was right, it was fucking freezing. Rushing in, you warmed up in the smaller sparring room, rubbing your arms. It was nice to feel cold again though and you jumped up and down to get your heart rate going, letting your arms shake loosely around you. Levi watched the movements, seeing the spring in your step along with blatant enthusiasm and yet again he felt the pull of fatigue, unsure why he was suddenly so worn out. As he put you through the usual blocks to start, he voiced his thoughts to the only person he felt wholly comfortable with, other than Farlan.

"I think you've aged me, (F/N)."

"What the fuck do you mean?"

"I'm exhausted and the only thing different in my life is you. So, it's your fucking fault."

"Can I be honest, Levi?"

"I expect nothing less."

"I might be off course totally, but I was so tired this morning and I keep falling asleep on sofas." He gave a small laugh and changed the course of the warm up, legs being brought into play.

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Well, I'm no expert, but I can take a guess. I've never slept as well in my life as I have this last week with you and I actually feel relaxed, obvious issue with fuck face aside."

"Go on." He could see your brain ticking over, trying to find the way to finish your thought.

"So what I'm saying is perhaps we're finally able to be at ease around someone else after being tense and false for so long. I might be talking shit, but it's the only thing I can think of. Tranquillity, almost."

Levi considered your well worded explanation, thinking about how you might be onto something. It certainly made sense and he stepped back, signalling the end of the blocking exercise. "Ok. I can go with that. But it doesn't mean I'm turning into one of those people who goes to bed at 8 and drinks mugs of fucking hot chocolate." Laughing, you got into position, ready to fight. 

"Alright old man, come on. Show me you're still fit and active." His eyes lit up, shards of silver flashing as he beckoned with one finger. 

"No, (F/N), this time you try. Fuck defence, it's your turn to attack, granny."

With a smirk, you launched towards him, using all of the moves that he had inflicted on you before, blood pumping and mind sharp, watching out for any weak spots. You doubted you'd find a hole in his armour, a way in, but it didn't stop you trying. Any sign of tiredness had disappeared from both of you and the pair of bodies covered the room, utilising all available space. Using your mind over your physical skill, an idea popped up and you decided to give it a try. Before you had both fought each other, but now he was playing the man on the back foot, only able to use defensive actions so you made a move that looked like you were going to take his legs out from underneath him. Levi spotted the change in stance instantly and went to block it but you shifted your weight expertly, landing a knee in his exposed side strongly and you heard a shout as he dropped to the floor.

"Fuck sakes, (F/N). No need to break fucking bones." Down next to him, you placed a worried hand on the area you had assaulted and whispered softly. 

"Shit, sorry Levi." He grunted with effort and moved, but he had a smirk on his face. 

"Idiot." In seconds you were pinned to the cushioned mat, your mistake realised all too late. "Never let your guard down, (F/N). Even if it is only me you're fucking fighting." Soft lips kissed yours and he sat up, holding his ribs. "That did actually fucking hurt, though. Well done." Grinning, you pushed up onto your elbows, satisfied that you had been crafty enough to surprise the man.

Levi showed you a few throws, slowly positioning himself on parts of your body to demonstrate and then let you try it out on him, muscles screaming for you to stop but you pushed it down, breaking through a barrier you never knew existed and you had a renewed energy. Movements became stronger and you snarled with exertion as yet again his form hit the floor. "Obviously I'm letting you do this right now. Next time I'll put up some fucking resistance. Enough for today." The man was on his back and he gazed up at your flushed appearance, hair messy and skin glistening. "Dammit, (F/N)." Levi was smiling and you stood staring down, confusion on your face. "You look fucking amazing when you've been training." Patting your hand on your head, you felt the bush that your locks had tangled into and you looked down at the sweat all over your body. 

"Really?" It was said with disbelief, unable to see what was so attractive about this ridiculous state, especially as you were completely filthy. 

"Yep. Don't get me wrong, you need to sort your shit out, though." He wasn't going to be all compliments and you threw him the middle finger as he picked himself up. Levi didn't know what it was about the way you held yourself after one of your sessions and he was acutely aware of the dirt all over your skin, but for some reason he found it alluring. Maybe you were helping him break his habits and overcome his issues without realising it.

~~~~~~

Walking through town you saw people hurrying around buying last minute presents, carelessly leaving it until the day before Christmas. You made your way to the pub, bodies close but not quite touching, enjoying each other's company. The destination was reached and Levi opened the door, letting you enter first and you spotted Annie straight away despite the crowds that were in here. Rushing over you hugged your friend and sat at the offered seat, dark haired man taking the one next to you. "Annie, you remember Levi?" She nodded and smiled but he just gave her slight tip of the head, unsure still what he made of the woman. Trust was a thing to be earned and he knew too little about her to make a judgement just yet.

There was table service here and you ordered your drinks along with some nibbles, not wanting a full on meal. Levi touched none of them, but you wolfed the items down, not realising how hungry you actually were. "So, I think maybe Wednesday? We can go round once it's dark. It's a quiet street, each house has it's own privacy so hopefully we can get there unnoticed." Your friend nodded solemnly, chugging back on her beer. 

"Sounds good. You coming Levi?" He had been fixated on the crumbs that the stern blonde was creating, showers of golden pieces falling to the table in waves. Snapping his head up, he responded with a slightly curled top lip. 

"Of course. Can't let you two go around fucking breaking shit." She laughed and shook her head, grabbing another snack and spraying the wooden surface in yet more mess. The tolerance he had for you in the gym certainly didn't seem to be translating here and he fought back the desire to sweep the offending items up, concern creeping over his skin at the thought of what might happen if he wasn't allowed to clean it.

A hand was placed on his arm, gently rubbing. You had seen his glare and were aware of how hard he was trying to contain himself so began to provide a distraction. "Levi, what if he has an alarm?" He gratefully took the bait, something he had considered already. 

"Just got to hope the fucking idiot doesn't. Or maybe he has a simple code, like 1234 or something as stupid as the shitty man himself." Another laugh was given in response and your friend stood, excusing herself to visit the bathroom. As soon as she was gone, Levi leant and brushed the pile of dropped food with a tissue, gathering it in another. There were no bins around, so he placed the small package on one of the now empty plates, sighing slightly now that the world had been put right.

You stayed and chatted a while before Annie had to go as there was a gathering at her house. "It's going to be fucking painful, (F/N). Stuck up people with stuck up lives and to make it worse, we have to go to stupid midnight mass. I'm sooooo getting stoned before that little outing." Giggling at the prospect of her sitting at a pew in the church, you imagined her drugged smile in place and said your goodbyes, hugging tightly. 

"Merry Christmas, whore. See you Wednesday?" She grinned and patted your back, giving her own farewell. 

"Sure thing, bitch." With a squeeze of your ass and a wink, she was gone, stalking out of the pub with her hands deep in the pockets of her hoodie.

~~~~~~

The other men in the house were playing chess by the fireside when you'd returned and you stuck your head in the door to greet them briefly before making your way upstairs. That had been an hour ago and now you lay naked in bed, cuddled up to Levi and exchanging soft kisses. He had discarded the condom already, but had gotten back into the sheets and you enjoyed the closeness. Ten minutes had passed and you snuggled in, head on his chest, the pounding of his heart filling your mind and making you tired once again. Before you could get too comfortable, you spoke. "Want me to get the water running?" No reply came for a moment and when it did, the one word was surprising. 

"No." You remained quiet and let the moment continue. Levi lay with his arm over his head, the other around your body and he stared at the ceiling, testing out his theory that perhaps this was different. He could smell the sex on both of you, feel the drying sweat and started to get itchy and restless, becoming anxious about the repercussions of his actions. What if he stayed here, though? Held you tightly and behaved like a normal human being? But then what might occur? Anything could happen. It was a break in the pattern and he felt like an army of ants was marching over his skin. With one last effort, he breathed deeply and tried to stay still but his mind wouldn't tolerate his attempt at apathy anymore. "I can't do it. Come on."

He pulled you gently up and turned the shower on, standing a short while for the optimum temperature to be reached, hands rubbing together. "I'll explain after." Levi practically jumped in and you followed behind, watching as relief settled in over his face as the water ran across his body. He scrubbed himself harshly, rubbing the sponge in quick motions, the item that you had bought for him to keep in your shower so there was no sharing. Once he was satisfied, he shut off the streams of liquid and you both dried down, concern on your face at his actions. Clothes on, you sat together on the sofa, cigarettes on the go along with glasses of wine from the bottle you had brought up earlier but not opened yet.

Levi sighed, shaking his head at himself and started to talk. "Seeing you all hot and sweaty in the gym is a fucking turn on (F/N), but it's unusual given my issues. So, I thought maybe it meant I could stop it, stop the shitty need to have everything clean and in it's place. That was my experiment and I really wanted to just stay the fuck in bed with you but I couldn't. I tried, I really fucking tried." His voice was deep and calm, a total opposite to the words he was saying. Taking a large gulp of his drink, he listened as you gave your view point. 

"Levi, it's ok. I don't mind, honestly. It's not a problem. But it becomes a problem if it starts to affect your daily life. Right now you can function just fine, but I don't want it to be any worse for you. So don't force yourself to do things that are unnatural. Just be you."

He nodded, aware that he was more than capable at leading a seemingly normal existence, but he had to get this out. "I know, (F/N) and you have no idea how fucking glad I am that you understand and accept this. You're right, it's not a problem now, but it has been. Definitely a massive problem with other women in the past. I know you don't need to hear that, but it's true and I'm laying my cards on the table here." The man drank again and picked up another smoke, passing one to you as he continued. "I'm not stupid, it's obvious I have a condition and I know where it all fucking stems from. Years in that shit hole of a home, years of being told I'm good for nothing, beatings when my bed wasn't tidy enough, the few books I was allowed weren't in order, finger nails dirty. Institutionalised, I think that's the right fucking word."

Levi was getting angry and he dragged violently at his cigarette. "Most of the time it's ok. It's manageable. Sometimes it's worse. The last time I had a serious fucking problem was when Farlan was arrested and I had no option. I need to be in control and I wasn't then." A small laugh escaped his mouth and you gripped his hand tightly, hoping you could alleviate the suffering somehow. You knew you couldn't, so all you were able to do was be there. 

"If you feel yourself losing that control, tell me. I'm here. Good times and bad." Suddenly there were arms around you, strong and insistent and you clutched his body to bring him closer, holding on and silently promising to never let go.

He sat back up, face unreadable and his head nodded once, eyes sharp. The momentary lapse in his usual stoic exterior was gone and he felt better for letting his heart do the talking, lifted by his admissions but also the way in which you had dealt with it. Yet again, you had acted with compassion and care, showing him how unbelievably kind your soul could be. What he wanted to say was stuck in his throat, words not able to come out. If they could materialise, Levi would ask the woman by his side to tell him just how the hell he had been so fortunate to find her, inform you that for once he was able to be himself fully, something that he had never experienced. But he kept quiet as undoubtedly it would come out all wrong. Your eloquence with speech was exquisite at times and he wished he had the ability to put his thoughts across so perfectly.

You watched closely as the man seemed caught up in his daydream, his demeanour strong again. If you could read his mind it might give you an insight into what the intelligent brain was thinking, but until he was ready to say what he wanted to, you would let him be. Something happened inside his head and with a small sniff he stood, offering his hand. "That's enough of a fucking therapy session for today, (F/N)." It was his way of saying he needed to stop being so emotional, cease the talk that had opened him up and made him feel exposed. Smiling, you allowed yourself to be pulled up gently and took advantage of the proximity, kissing him strongly to try and let him know it was ok. It obviously worked to some extent and as you locked eyes there was a glimmer of gratitude. "Let's go. Stop being such a fucking good listener." Flawlessly shifting the blame, he smirked, both of you more than wise to the deflection he just made.

~~~~~~

Dishes were stacked in the washer, surfaces cleaned and the floor mopped. You'd made quite a mess this evening, gotten carried away with your cooking and had insisted the three men remain in the drawing room, not wanting Levi to see the horrific scene that looked like the whole pantry had just exploded in here. No sign of your extravagant culinary actions were evident anymore and you stood back, eyes checking out your handiwork. Satisfied, you grabbed a bottle of cognac and four of the rounded glasses that matched the liquor, placing them on a tray. Carefully you delivered the after-dinner drinks, feeling happy that the meal had been well received. Tomorrow would be more of an effort, the traditional Christmas lunch requiring many things cooking at a variety of temperatures, culminating in a rush of activity in the last fifteen minutes.

Pushing the door with your backside, you shuffled through to be met by three sets of eyes looking over with thanks. "Save your gratitude for tomorrow, gents. That's the real test." You set the tray down and your father poured, generous measures of the golden brown liquid splashing into the pristine vessels. He raised a glass and the others joined in as you finally sat down, weight off your throbbing feet. 

"To family and friends, absent and present." It was his usual toast on this day of the year, a remembrance of your mother but also a nod towards those who weren't here, whether it was through choice or not. The rest of you quietly mumbled the words and everyone took a sip, minds silently thinking about their own missing comrades and relatives, clock ticking by along with the sound of crackling flames in the hearth.

Your father broke the silence, signalling the shift in this evening's mood. "So (F/N)? Hange tells me you're up to your usual tricks on the chess board. Fancy giving it a try?" Smiling widely, you shook your head and looked down at the floor when you spoke. 

"Sorry dad, I'm enjoying my winning streak. Not ready to give that up just yet." He laughed, fully aware that he would still be the only person to beat you, so he tried his luck elsewhere. 

"Levi? Is she teaching you well?" The dark haired man smirked and sat back, legs crossed casually as he sipped his drink. 

"Maybe not well enough, but I never pass up the opportunity." Your dad sprung into action, fetching one of the three boards in the house from the cabinet and set up the pieces, glee on his face. 

"You have no chance, you know that right?" The utterance was met by twinkling eyes, grey orbs flashing from beside you. 

"I don't know, (F/N). I've been paying close attention. Give me some credit."

The men leant forward, concentration etched on their expressions. Your dad nodded occasionally, praising his opponent's moves and they stayed quiet, none of the chats that usually took place when you played. Erwin excused himself and went to bed half way through, fatigue setting in and you curled up on the sofa, biting back the advice that you desperately wanted to give to Levi at points in the game. By the time you could see it was going to be another win for the older man, you stretched, legs shaking as the muscles protested. The stiffness was setting in from your training earlier and the need to sleep was threatening. As predicted, the final move was made and your father sat back, smile on his face.

"Good game, Levi. Not bad. I saw some of (F/N)'s tactics in there, but you need to plan ahead. Take a step back and really see what is laid out in front of you. It's always preferable to look to the future, make a solid decision but be prepared to move with the unknown." You weren't sure if it was advice on chess or not, the way he spoke seemed to have a deeper tone than usual. Levi sensed it too and held the man's gaze, nodding as he was spoken to. "Ok, time for bed. Got a big day tomorrow. Good night." Your father gave you a kiss on the cheek and a strong handshake to the man by your side. The two of you lingered a while, sharing a close hug and staring into the fire. His voice startled you from your thoughts, words quiet yet powerful.

"I've done what he said, taken a step back. And (F/N)?" He shifted so you now looked into each other's eyes, the flickering fire reflected in both gazes. "I'm fucking lucky. Unbelievably so. You realise what this means, yes?" The smirk that pulled on his lips was playful and you kept quiet to find out the next steps. "I'm not going to let you go. You're fucking stuck with me, brat." Mouths pressed together and you sighed into the kiss, heart jumping with happiness. As you pulled away, you flicked a finger on the tip of his nose in a childish gesture and grinned. 

"Good. Because I'm not fucking going anywhere, Levi."

The fire had been put out, glasses cleared away and you prowled the hall of the top floor quietly, placing a present outside your father's door and moving to leave the other package for Erwin. For the last three years it had been the same, gifts left for those that were here to enjoy in private. You weren't sure why it started, maybe it was because you hadn't always known the people that well, not wanting to have an embarrassing exchange in front of everyone. As usual, the items were standard and safe; a jumper for the head of security, new cuff links for your father with a chequered pattern. Previously, Levi had received similar things, a shirt last year which had meant you'd to ask Erwin to check his wardrobe for the right size, a tie the Christmas before that. But this time was different.

More wrapped parcels had already been left by your room and you took them in, glancing over at the man who laid back casually on your bed. The clock told you it was past midnight, so technically it was the big day and you picked up the moderately sized but heavy box, paper a solid silver like the recipient's eyes, not an offensive splash of colour that would no doubt cause disgust. "It's gone 12. Can I give you this now?" Levi patted the space on the mattress next to him in agreement and smiled as you skipped across the short distance, passing his gift over and jumping onto the sheets, nervous and excited all at the same time.

He carefully opened it, not tearing the wrap but unfolding it with care. Inside was a box and he lifted the lid, taking out the sculpture you had instantly known was the right thing when you first laid eyes on it. The inscription on the bottom told him the piece was called 'Protection' and he turned the stone item round in his hands, feeling the smooth surface. It was simple but beautifully executed, three figures standing together. They were almost all the same, matching heights and physiques, no discernable features or hint of gender but one of them stood in front of the other two, arms held outwards and behind in a gesture of defensive shelter. The symbolism was clear, obviously referring to his troubled friend and the two personalities within and Levi felt a strong wave of tenderness running through his body for the woman who knelt beside him.

"I don't know what to say. Honestly. Shit." His eyes were soft and full of thanks and you smiled. 

"You're welcome, Levi." Holding it gently in one hand, he gazed over the object once more before curling his free arm around you, pulling you in for a kiss, letting the embrace convey just how smitten he was. Leaning back, he placed the figures down on the chest by the bed and picked up the present he had for you. It wasn't wrapped but sat in a small gift bag, a ribbon of your favourite colour tied around the handles. Releasing it slowly, you reached in and brought out the flat square box. With your chest ready to burst, you opened it up and gasped. It was a delicate silver bracelet with tiny charms and you traced a finger across them, a smooth voice explaining as you touched each one.

"That symbolises rebirth. New dawns." The small scarab was jasper set in silver, details picked out brilliantly with a skilled hand. Moving across, you felt the outline of the intricate oak tree, no colour on this one, just the precious metal. "Strength and endurance." One more remained, a rose that shone out with a deep red enamel hue. "Health, passion and love." It was the most stunning and thoughtful gift you had ever been given and you swallowed back the lump that was forming in your throat. "Here." Levi clasped the bracelet around your wrist and held your arm up gently, admiring the way it sat perfectly on your skin with a small smile. "And there's plenty of space for me to add more." His last words made your already failing resolve crumble completely, hot tears springing from your wet eyes.

"Fucking hell, Levi," you sobbed, face smiling despite the obvious trails of salty water that ran down it. "It's amazing. You're amazing." Arms hugged you tightly and you gulped quickly to try and hold in the small squeaks that threatened to escape from your mouth. Each charm had been deliberately selected, a way for the man to show just what he felt every time he looked at you, solidifying his emotions. 

"So you like it then?" Laughing lightly, you drew back and held his shoulders, gripping on strongly. 

"It's perfect. Thank you." Sniffing, you composed yourself and took a deep breath, air shaking as you let it back out again. Neither of you moved for a moment and Levi took the lead to bring things back to his usual comfort zone. 

"Now go and get a fucking tissue. Your face is all wet."

Both of you were exhausted and once you'd gotten ready for bed there was only one thing prominent in your minds. Contented sleep.


	14. Season's Greetings

The sun hid behind dark clouds and you stared out of the window, watching the off site sentry switch places with his counterpart, wind flapping at his jacket. It was still quite early, only half seven and the man had probably been here most of the night, a thought that poured guilt into your being. No doubt they were able to negotiate and pick shifts and would be paid handsomely for working on this day of the year, yet it still bothered you. Smoke billowed from your lips and the sound of Levi's conversation filled your ears. It was relatively curt, the odd yes and no, a hum now and again but then it changed, life now in his words. "Hey. Yes, thanks Isabel, you too. Keeping out of trouble?" He listened to the response, a small laugh offered to his friend. "Now now, play nice. Don't give him any shit."

They chatted a while and the phone was passed to you with a smile. The sweet voice filtered through the earpiece, light and enthusiastic. "Oh (F/N) thank you so much for my present! You're just the best, you know?" Grinning, you told her it was your pleasure and you were glad she liked it. When she spoke again it was with childish glee. "Next time I see you I'm going to look so pretty! Ooh, maybe I could do your hair too? Bro never lets me near his, the old bore, you talk to him, he'd look too cute with pigtails." You laughed loudly, earning yourself a scowl from the man in question as he was sure that the conversation was now about him.

"I will, Isabel. I'm not sure how well that will go down, but I'll give it a try." Levi held his hand up for the device and you wished her a Merry Christmas, promising again to have a word about hair styles and that you would certainly see her soon. The chat was brought to a conclusion as he was aware it would be breakfast time there and didn't want his friend to go down the route of skipping meals again. He looked over, drinking in your appearance, locks still wet from the shower you had shared recently. Both of you had woken around six and made up for the fact neither of your bodies were capable of anything last night, taking advantage of the passion that ran through your veins from the gifts you exchanged.

"What was that all about?" You shrugged at his query and got close to where he sat on the sofa, trailing your hands through his ebony hair. 

"Oh, nothing. Just some ideas on what to do with this. Perhaps a clip here? Ribbon there?" Holding up some strands, you looked deep in thought, chewing at your bottom lip in concentration. 

"Fuck off." Levi stood and escaped the situation, smoothing the stray hairs down to return his look to normal. "Come on. I'll show you how to make a proper fucking breakfast." Once more your culinary skills were called into question and you pinched his ass as the figure strode to the door. "Oi, watch it." With a grin you followed his grumpy mumble, fingers now playing with the bracelet on your wrist.

In the kitchen you watched closely, picking up tips from the skilled man who rather amusingly wore an apron to protect his clothes. You acted as assistant, fetching items and utensils when required, tidying up behind him and checking the progress of cooking food. Peering in, you leant across and scrutinised the current motions, memorizing instructions that were murmured to you. So intent on the task at hand, neither of you noticed the presence by the door. Your father smiled, gazing over at the couple. He felt sure about this man and saw how you had your cheek on his upper arm, hand on the small of his back as you studiously learnt new techniques. It was uplifting to see the gentle way you treated each other, a contrast to the juvenile bickering you also enjoyed.

"Happy Christmas!" He bellowed his words, making you jump and you heard the clatter of a spoon on the kitchen surface as Levi dropped his tool in surprise. Two sets of burning eyes glared over and the older man grinned at how similar your expressions were right now. "Sorry to interrupt, I didn't mean to scare the chefs. How are you both this morning?" Your scowl turned to a smile and you hugged your dad as he reached the work station, a hand offered to the man who was wiping up the spilt food. It was taken strongly and it seemed all was forgiven. "Thank you for the lovely gifts." He meant it genuinely, always touched by any show of love or respect. You'd both opened yours earlier too and returned the gratitude. "Now Levi, I'll let you get back to it. Wouldn't want to disturb the creative process."

~~~~~

The table was set with simple china, a centre piece of holly sitting proudly amongst the steaming food. Footsteps pounded through the hall as you and Levi delivered the last of the dishes to the small dining room, satisfied that you had managed to prepare the Christmas lunch on time and with precision. Two pairs of hands were certainly better than one and you had enjoyed cooking together again, sipping wine as you went. Once you were all seated, the others praised the feast before them and with an air of grandeur, your father declared that he would be carving the turkey. In reality you disliked it intensely, but would eat some just for tradition's sake.

The event was in full flow, drinks kept topped up from bottles that sat to one side, stories and anecdotes shared. Even Levi got involved, telling a tale of how Erwin lost one of his shoes during an altercation and ended up being hit around the head with it, the enemy attacker utilising the first thing they could lay their hands on. He spoke with such a deadpan voice, hand swirling his wine around the glass and eyes half lidded. "And then this stupid big bastard took off the other shoe and smacked the guy in the face with it. The worst thing was he'd stepped in some dog shit earlier and the idiot got it right in the eye."

Snorting with laughter, you tried to hold in a mouthful of liquid, struggling to keep it down as the image of Erwin having a footwear fight sprung up in your mind. Gasping for air, you grabbed onto the table, amused faces watching the scene. Levi sighed and rolled his eyes. "Troublesome brat." He gave you an open handed thump on the back and you shot forwards, swallowing the remaining wine. Breathing quickly, you glanced over and nodded in thanks, the man by your side smirking at your red face. 

"I've got a good one about (F/N)." You were still trying to calm down when your dad spoke and you stared wide eyed at him. 

"No no no, not the toilet story!" His eyes lit up and you groaned at his next words. 

"Oh I'd forgotten about that one! Thanks." Chuckles spilled from the largest of the group as Erwin made a request. 

"I want the toilet story first."

Placing your head on the table, you hid as your father told the others about the time you got marooned in a public restroom. "Her mother was trying on dresses so I had to take this one to the ladies. She was only ten and I waited outside. Time went by and I wondered what was going on. People went in and out, but no sign of (F/N)." You clamped your hands over your ears, not wanting to relive what was definitely not your finest moment. "I didn't know it at the time, but the lock had gotten stuck, so rather than shout for help, she tried to slide out the gap under the door." Erwin started laughing before he had even heard the worst part and Levi sat back with a smile, enjoying how you were squirming.

"Only problem was, she was bigger than the gap so…so…." Your dad lost it, giggles taking him over and the blonde opposite you laughed again, the infectious nature spreading. The man next to you patted your arm in a show of mock sympathy and you sat up, glaring at all three of them. 

"Shut up. I was only little!" Composed, your father started the story up again. 

"She got wedged between the floor and the door, half out of the cubicle and started to cry. No one could pull her out so they had to get the shopping mall engineer to take the door off it's hinges!" Two hearty laughs sounded out around the room and Levi raised his glass to take a drink, holding back his own chuckle.

"Yea thanks. I was traumatised by that, I hope you're all pleased with yourselves." Crossing your arms you leant back, scowling at them all, a look of death on your face as the dark haired man spoke with a slightly wavering voice. 

"It could've been worse, (F/N). At least there's no CCTV in the toilets." The thought of your entrapment being caught on camera was too much and he couldn't contain it any longer, a deep laugh coming from what sounded like his very soul. It made the others cry out even louder and you watched as Levi shook his head, face alive with humour. 

"Alright, alright, not funny. Calm down guys." Despite your words, secretly you loved to hear his chuckles, but there was no way you'd tell him. You didn't need to, he saw the look in your eyes that was soft and enraptured. He shot you a wink and gathered himself, smile still in place slightly but back to his standard expressionless front.

"What was the other story?" Snarling at the one who had asked for more embarrassing moments from your life, you stuck up your middle finger. The only reaction from Erwin was more guffaws and you gave up, gulping your wine. Thankfully your father refused to tell any more tales and you started to relax once more. As an act of good will, he began to clear the plates and dishes, assisted by his bodyguard. They wouldn't let the two cooks lift a finger and as they took armfuls of crockery to the kitchen, Levi leant in. 

"That was fucking adorable." Facing the man who spoke quietly, you noted his gentle appearance and the way he looked at you with an admiring stare. "I can't get enough of you, (F/N)." He gave you a loving kiss, attempting to portray his feelings with the gesture, still unsure of how to sufficiently get his adoration across.

"Erm, shall we leave dessert until later?" Your lips parted from one another's, faces still close and the man scowled. 

"Fuck off Erwin." You sat back up straight, thinking about the emotion behind the small embrace and felt butterflies in your stomach, skin prickling with an almost clammy sensation. Levi was experiencing the same kind of rush, senses heightened and heart pounding strongly in his chest. It was something neither of you had felt before, a pure and tender sentiment born from all the time you had spent together, everything you'd shared.

A large gateaux broke your reverie, one that had been bought at the local bakery and as it was cut, you realised something was missing. "I'll get the dessert wine." Rushing off for the sweet liquid, you thought about how it was only three in the afternoon and you were already decidedly tipsy. Fuck it, it's Christmas, you decided and grabbed the bottle along with some fresh glasses. When you walked back in, you spotted a paper hat on the side that had been discarded from one of the crackers you'd pulled earlier. Evil disobedience shot through you and the items from the kitchen were placed on the table carefully. As Levi opened the drink, you snatched the festive headgear from it's resting place and in one swift movement, popped it on top of his dark hair, sitting quickly beside him and smiling sweetly.

He froze, but then slowly turned to face you, sneer on his top lip as he saw the sickly grin on your features. It was insanely comical and cute both at the same time, the red hat and his expression making him look like the epitome of Scrooge. "What the fuck?" Your lover growled his words much to the amusement of those gathered and he swept the offending paper from his head, screwing it up into a ball and launching it at the woman responsible. 

"I couldn't resist. It was worth any shit you might give me." You were sincere. The image you had just witnessed was burnt into your memory now and you didn't regret incurring his wrath in the least. He grumbled as the drinks were poured, voice low. 

"Next training session. Just you fucking wait."

The cake had defeated you in the end and the small sliver that remained on your plate taunted you, proving it had been victorious. "That's it. I'm done." Pushing the china away, you breathed out deeply, belly full and satisfied. 

"Why don't you have a lie down, (F/N)? You look tired." It was the honest truth and your father meant it only with love. 

"Yea, I'm shattered actually. Does anyone mind?" Shakes of heads allowed you to stand and the older man spoke up once more. 

"What about you, Levi? Your eyes look more hooded than usual." A wave of the hand dismissed the suggestion and he was graced with a laugh. "Good man. Power through, I like it. Right gents, let's tidy up and move this to somewhere more comfortable. I feel fit to burst." At your dad's command, the three got up slowly and bid you farewell.

~~~~~

It had been the best nap ever. In the whole history of afternoon sleeps, it had triumphed and you woke feeling refreshed and ready to go. It was half past five and you bounced downstairs to find your companions, sparing a thought for the men who stood outside. You'd already taken them some food and warm drinks earlier, but these were probably new posts and you should really offer them the same courtesy. Mince pies and coffee perhaps. Walking into the drawing room you stopped dead, smiling at the view. The chess board was out but a game left only half played and all three of them were sound asleep in their seats. Your dad had his legs on the table and his hands laced over his belly, Erwin sprawled in another large chair, small snores coming from his slightly open mouth and Levi laid back on the sofa, head on one arm of the couch and shoeless feet on the other. Power through? No chance. Cursing yourself for not having your phone to take a picture, you left them in peace and went to get some sustenance for the guards outside.

An hour later and you checked the drawing room again and watched as Levi stretched out like a cat, arms above his head and feet sticking out over the sofa. He looked around with confusion and saw you standing in the doorway, leaning casually against the frame. "Fuck. What time is it?" His words were whispered as the other men still slept and he rubbed his eyes with a hand. 

"Only half six." He sat up and clutched at the back of his neck, regretting having fallen asleep in such a position. 

"Shit, this is fucking killing me."

"Come upstairs and I'll sort it out. I'm good at massages. And I have wine." He nodded, instantly wishing he hadn't as the stiffness shot from the back of his skull to his shoulder.

"What about these two shits?"

"I'll leave them a note. They look so peaceful. Were you playing chess?"

"Must have been. Jesus fucking christ."

You grabbed a piece of paper from the pad that sat by the house phone and wrote a short farewell, advising them they were weaklings who couldn't handle their booze and you would see them in the morning. Walking off, you led the way to your room, Levi following and still clearing his head from the unexpected sleep. Once you had got inside, lights on low, you sat him down on the bed, taking up position on your knees behind and set about getting rid of the knots in his muscles. Hard digs were combined with rubs and you felt his body relax as you worked at his neck and shoulders. "That's it, right there. Shit..." He sounded so content as you pushed and kneaded his flesh, expertly relieving the tension.

Around ten minutes later you were lying together, your man totally at peace and buzzing with the feeling of euphoria that came with the high of blissful relief from pain thanks to your skilled hands. Holding your gaze, he started to feel his pulse race and with a mixture of nausea and excitement, Levi decided to say what was on his mind. It was a collection of words he had never spoken before and he felt a strange anxiety as he opened his mouth. "(F/N)?" You hummed in response, caught up in the moment too much to speak. "I have to say this shit or it's going to kill me." Pausing, he gathered his thoughts, ready but also nervous. "I fucking love you."

They were out in the open, small particles of a language that held so much meaning despite being made up of tiny, insignificant letters. On their own they were useless, but combined they could cause shockwaves. He didn't feel stupid saying them, you'd known each other three years and in that time he had slowly come to the realisation that this was what coming home must be like, one other person in this godforsaken world who understood and mattered.

You held back the desire to scream and bounce around when Levi spoke. Hearing those words was incredible, something you could have done without in the past but this was different. There was an electricity between the two of you that demanded to be acknowledged and the strange feelings that had been skipping around inside finally had an outlet. You honestly weren't sure what had stopped you saying the same thing on more than a few occasions, maybe fear or lack of confidence, whatever. It didn't matter now. Gazing into his sparkling eyes, you smiled. "I love you too, Levi. I really fucking do." Suddenly he sat up, kneeling like you had been earlier when you sorted out his painful neck and he pulled your arm to ensure you joined him.

Hands were placed on your waist and you wrapped your arms tight around him, lips close but not kissing. Any kind of urgency you had before was gone now, all that remained was a quiet moment of care and appreciation. And love. You'd both known it was inevitable, but hadn't been brave enough to say anything, which was ridiculous for two grown adults but it was new ground that was being travelled. Levi cupped your cheek in his hand and smiled lightly. Soft lips came together in small, gentle pecks, hands searching but without any sign of feverish desire. It was passionate in a totally different way, an amazing way.

Fingers tangled in your hair, minding not to pull or tug and you squeezed further into the embrace, hands caressing up and down your man's back. With determined but almost lazy movements you undid the buttons on Levi's shirt, pushing the fabric away and returning to your tender exploration. Your jumper was dealt with in the same fashion, slowly pulled up and off, thrown casually to one side. He smiled and dipped once more to take your lips, still placid but noticeably stronger this time as your bra joined the growing pile of clothing. Naked torsos clung together, warmth shared and the kiss deepened, tiny sighs and sounds of happiness filtering out in the room.

Trailing your fingers down, you undid the belt that had always caused you so much grief, but now you were calm and collected to a degree it was much easier than the usual fight with the leather. You heard the faint slap of the item hitting against itself as you pulled, letting you know it had been liberated. Without breaking away, Levi shuffled and wriggled and soon was totally bare. Not waiting anymore, you did the same and two bodies melded into one, the touches and brushes more sexual in nature now that the heat had been turned up a notch. He gently squeezed at your breast, thumb circling your nipple and you reached down to lay light strokes on his erection.

He pulled away a bit, faces still close and his deep breaths were tickling on your skin. Smirking, you tightened your grip and watched with a feeling of power as he leant his head back, mouth open in a small gasp. You ran your thumb over the tip of his member with a ghost-like touch and he snapped his gaze back down, locking eyes. "Fucking hell. I would do anything you told me to right now (F/N)." His lids shut in ecstasy and you studied his serene face, the small smile and satisfied expression. Raising your eyebrows you tilted your head and purred your response. 

"Oh really?" Flashing eyes came back into view and he nodded slowly, seeing the playful look on your features. You decided to suggest something, one of the things on the ever decreasing list of experiences that you hadn't already shared together. "How about the shower?" Levi made no hesitation in replying. 

"I like the way you fucking think." Laughing, you leapt from the bed and turned on the water, impatient for it to warm up, bodies pressed together in what was now one of your usual steamy embraces. Sticking a hand back, you felt the hot streams and carefully stepped into the cubicle, glad that it was slightly bigger than really required for one person. Instantly you found yourself pinned up against the tiled wall, already soaked from the liquid that flowed loudly and trickled down your skin. It was a simple request that you'd made but one that you were already enjoying thoroughly, the combination of sensations adding to your arousal.

Lips connected again, tongues moved together desperately and Levi hooked his arm under your leg, bringing it up and holding tightly. You curled it around his body for extra grip, the awareness that you could fall making it all the more exciting. Kisses now mixed with water on your neck and in a split second he thrust upwards, plunging deep inside with a force that rivalled any previous occurrences and two voices called out loudly above the roar of the shower. His movements were relentless from the outset, passions running high and in the back of his mind, Levi thought about how amazing you felt, once more submitting to him. The position you were in didn't allow much of your own participation and with gasping breaths you grabbed his ass, nails digging in with ferocity as you gladly let the man take you strongly.

"Shit, Levi…so fucking good…" Your words were muffled by the fact that the streams were dancing at your lips, threatening to invade you and the feeling of being at the complete mercy of both potential choking and your lover was intoxicating. Levi heard your gulps and slight struggle under the manmade cascade but the sound of your voice and moans told him how much pleasure it was all causing you. The ability to be in control along with the way you still tried to roll your hips against his cock was delicious and he bowed his forehead against the tiles, droplets running down and splashing from his face. With his free hand he felt as much as he could of your soaked skin, gliding over flesh with ease and he became alight with lust.

"Fuck…(F/N)…tell me what you want." Although he relished the power, it was also at the forefront of his mind that he loved to hear you speak, vocalise your wishes and desires. Slightly spluttering, you opened your mouth and drank down what you could, panting and ready to break at any moment as the heat began to build from below. All you could manage was the odd utterance and you tilted your head back to try and make yet more water spill across your airwaves, now completely enraptured by the sense of being overcome by dangerous forces.

"Harder…mmm…shit…fuck me…harder." Levi let out a growl of satisfaction and did his best to honour your request and he heard your strangled reaction. "Yes…shit…I…I…" Swallowing with crucial actions, you became unaware of nothing but the extreme pleasure as your orgasm sprang forth with violent shocks of bright euphoria and you almost screamed, face now down on the man's shoulder and arms wrapped around his body as you lost the ability to maintain your weight on one leg anymore. Holding tight, he made sure you were safely upright and succumbed to his own fast approaching peak, shouting out with panted words at your neck. 

"(F/N), god, fucking take it, shit…" One final yell of his woman's name and he released, coming with savage thrusts that made his whole being shiver with fulfilment.

Gently, Levi lowered your leg to allow some more stability and you remained standing, hugging closely for a few minutes as the shower beat down on your exhausted forms. Once capable of coherent thought, he leant back and gathered your sweet lips in a gentle kiss, one which you reciprocated hungrily. "I don't even know what the hell to say." You laughed as you spoke, your man's own low offer at amusement sounding out in tandem as eyes locked in a loving gaze. 

"(F/N), that was fucking incredible. Try not to drown yourself again though, yea?" Both of you carried on the chuckles as he turned to fetch the soap, one bottle for you and the other manly one that seemed to now live in here. He wondered what that had been about, not that he was complaining, but he hadn't expected you to purposefully angle your face in order to be incapacitated. Maybe it was another manifestation of your need for excitement, a break from the norm.

Sponge in hand he froze, staring down at the water and bubbles that spun in a whirlpool by the plug hole. "Shit." Working up a lather, you stared over as Levi slowly raised his head, eyes slightly wider than usual. 

"What?" Scrubbing your skin, you just watched as he seemed to smirk and flinch all at the same time, his voice bemused as if he couldn't believe what he was saying. 

"I just came in you." Frowning now and unaware of what the problem was, you resumed your cleaning until a few seconds passed and the realisation started to hit. 

"Oh. OH SHIT!" In your haste and oblivious lust, both of you had forgotten all about a certain important item. With hurried motions you both washed with speed, out of the shower in a flash and towels wrapped around your damp bodies.

Sitting on the sofa, you lit two cigarettes and passed one to the man by your side as he poured what could only be described as mammoth measures of wine. Drinking deeply, you turned to face one another. "Sorry Levi, I just didn't think."

"Don't apologise, I'm just as fucking bad."

"It's Boxing Day and fucking Sunday tomorrow, nothing will be open. No pharmacies, no doctors so no pill. Bollocks."

"Listen, (F/N), I'm sure it's ok. When will you know?" Calculating the days in your head, you dragged on your smoke.

"About a week and a half." There was no point doing anything but waiting. You knew from your studies in biology and also from having a pretty good handle on what your body was capable of that taking any kind of test in the meantime would be futile. Sure, some companies proclaimed to be able to tell you sooner but you doubted it. Too early meant all sorts of false negatives came into play and given that you had no chance of getting the morning after pill, all you could do was sit tight. A soft voice pulled you from your thoughts.

"Just so you know, I've never had unprotected sex before. Ever."

"Me neither." So that was a relief, at least.

"I did think it felt fucking different." His words made you smile and you realised you'd sensed it too, albeit subconsciously.

"That's true. Nothing we can do right now anyway." Gulping down more wine, you shuffled on the sofa, hoping he wasn't angry or freaked out. You needn't have worried and a small smirk played on his lips as he delivered a deadpan comment.

"Look at it this way. Can you imagine the conversation? 'Daddy, what happened when I was conceived?' 'Well, your mother tried to asphyxiate herself in the fucking shower. All the standard shit.' " Slapping his bare arm, you laughed lightly at the hypothetical situation and shook your head.

"Ok, Levi. I'm alright. Are you?" The smile that met your query was enough to tell you the answer and a hand grabbed hold of yours tightly.

"Yes. Now don't fucking worry. We've got other things to think about right now." He got up and found a small bag in amongst the few items he had steadily brought to your room, some clothes and a book, another sign that he seemed to have moved in. The package was passed to you with a smirk. Opening it, you found a pair of leather gloves, the kind that would look right on a fifties woman driving her open top car.

"What, you want me to slap you on the ass with these or something?" There was humour in your voice and you watched as he started to get dressed in some clean sweats and t-shirt, ready to relax. 

"Kinky little shit. No, if you're going to be touching things in that dickhead's house you don't want to leave fucking finger prints everywhere." The thought made that splinter of excitement shoot into your heart again and the fact you now had gloves like some sort of master criminal made it ten times more fun. No doubt Levi wouldn't lay a finger on anything in that place and Annie could bring her own or just let you do the work. 

"Thanks. I could be a mafia boss or something, what do you think?"

You'd pulled the new items onto your hands and now stood with a twirl, white towel flapping around. The dark haired man smiled, wondering if there was any possible way that you could look more adorable than you did right now, face lit up and ridiculous outfit in place. Any concerns from before had gone and you started to enjoy the rest of Christmas together.

~~~~~~

"What was that? Try fucking harder." Monday had arrived along with the promised lesson in mastering throws. Now that you weren't being allowed to make the moves with no resistance, it was a lot more difficult and you snarled as Levi circled you, taunting you with the fact he was still on his feet. You knew what to do, the places to take him down but it was impossible to get there. Everything you tried was defended harshly and there was a throbbing in your head from the effort. Over an hour of useless attempts had gone by and you started to feel the strain. You decided to try one last time and squared up, imagining it was Jean in here, conditioning your brain so you could smell his cologne, hear his voice and feel his sickening touch.

So entrenched in your imagination, you failed to notice someone enter the smaller room and you flew at Levi with rage, sparring strongly and looking for that tiny window of opportunity. Words trickled through your mind, all in Jean's tone, all having been spoken in reality. The blackmail, the reprimanding, the disgust at the people who lived here with you. Out of the haze, you saw a beacon of shining light, a focus and you used the pent up hatred to launch your attack. Letting the man think he had the upper hand, you allowed him to pull you close in an attempt at preventing your blows but you spun, back against his chest and using combined weight and momentum, you yelled from within. His arm was tight in your grip and with a sharp push upwards from your body, you threw him down, sending the figure crashing to the ground.

It only took about two seconds but had felt like an hour in slow motion and you stared down with gritted teeth at where Levi lay on his back, pride in his eyes. "Good to see that being all loved up hasn't changed you." Erwin's voice made you jump and turn towards him, his smile wide and a look on his face that seemed like he was impressed. 

"Fuck off." The body that spoke from the floor picked himself up and turned his attention to the strong woman, her body gleaming with sweat and effort. Yet again, he felt increasingly aroused by the image, but something in the back of his mind made him feel bad for delivering blows to your body. "That was good. You're fucking getting there. Now go shower and have a lie down, you look like you're going to pass out or some shit." There was care in the seemingly gruff voice and you nodded, aware that you had been pushing hard during your training session and he gave you his parting words. "I've got to work. See you later." Given the present company, no other exchanges were made, only a look that conveyed what you were both thinking.

Once alone, Erwin watched closely as his friend gathered his things with a strange expression, one he hadn't seen for quite some time. "Levi, what's the matter?" He didn't expect an honest answer and was more than prepared for some kind of offensive insult, but he also hoped that nothing was seriously wrong. The last time this kind of concern had filled the man's face was when there was a problem with Farlan and rather than talk it through, he became withdrawn and reclusive until the only thing left to do was a hair's breadth away from beating it out of him.

"Nothing, Erwin." The small grumble was made as the man swept past, off to shower and dress for front gate duty. A large hand stopped him in his path, the blonde staring down with furrowed brows and he delivered a stern warning. 

"Levi. Don't." Sighing, the man in question stared at the grip on his arm then glared up and fixed his boss with a look that was partly annoyance but also something else. With distinct reticence, he spoke, voice calm and unemotional. 

"What if I hurt her?" Erwin softened slightly and released his hold.

"It comes with the territory. You can't make an omelette without cracking some eggs, as they say."

"What sort of…what the fuck? You short of oxygen all the way up there? That shitty brain of yours is making no fucking sense."

"Leave the analogy aside then. How can you expect (F/N) to train and get better if you treat her like a china doll? Sometimes we have to sacrifice one thing for the other."

Levi remained silent. He knew the man was right, but he was still fearful that one day he might make the wrong move, might strike out and seriously injure the woman he loved. His strength was immense, very useful in this line of work, but he was also known to have taken it too far in the past, almost forgetting what he was able to do to another human. Erwin had a pretty good idea of what was going through the smaller man's head and spoke again.

"You're not going to act like that with her. Even your crazy ass mind can tell the difference between friend and foe."

"It couldn't before."

"That was different."

"How, Erwin? How was that fucking different?"

"Because if you hadn't have taken him down, Farlan would have killed you. Plain and simple. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and man the fuck up." It might have seemed harsh, however he knew he had to get him to snap out if it. Dwelling over the time he broke his friend's arm in self defence was going to get him nowhere and would only lead to a spiralling mood. He opened his mouth to speak again, softer this time. "Now listen. (F/N) can hold her own. And you know she's not actually attacking you, it's training. Something you started, if I remember correctly."

"Whatever. Fuck off." As he stalked away, Erwin smiled. He had seen the change in the man's eyes and was convinced his words had some effect.

Up in your room you found it hard to rest, a thousand thoughts running through your head, some good but some bad. Mainly you were worried about how you had just thrown Levi to the floor. Of course you'd hit and kicked each other when you sparred, taken his legs out from underneath him, brought him down. This time was different though and you were fearful of the way you had clouded over and seen nothing but red, only an enemy before you and not your lover. It was something you didn't think you were capable of and wondered where it had come from.

That train of reflection morphed into another question. In the shower on Saturday, why had you done that? You weren't embarrassed, in the heat of the moment it had seemed like the natural thing to do and god knows it had been fucking amazing. But that combined with how you had lost it earlier in the gym made you start to fret about what else you might do when you weren't fully in control.

Shaking it off, you curled up on top of the sheets, fully clothed and hair wet from your wash. In an attempt to bring calm to the chaos, you touched your bracelet and thought about what each charm meant, noticing briefly that the cut on your finger from your kitchen accident a few days ago was healing nicely. Nearby, a thin scar ran down your hand, something that had been there since childhood, the result of a nasty fall from a tree that you couldn't remember due to also having hit your head. Clumsy didn't even begin to describe what sort of kid you had been. Fatigue and aching muscles took over and the start of sleep drifted across your troubled mind with gentle strokes. Twitching, your body gave in and finally allowed you to relax.

Exactly twenty seven minutes later and you gasped, a tortured sound coming from your throat as you sat up instantly, a cold sweat on your skin, muscles making you move in spasms involuntarily. All you could remember was a dream but it seemed so real, pictures sitting vividly as if they were in the room with you. With panicked breaths you realised you'd seen this before, a recurring nightmare that had been forgotten long ago but was now back with a vengeful power. Automatically you rose and went to shower again, get rid of the sheen from your flesh that was a result of feverish sleep. As you dried down, a singular mission was in your head. You had to find Levi.


	15. Discovery

The temperature had picked up slightly and you tore across the grounds, damp hair flapping as you ran towards the front gate. No one else was around, Erwin on perimeter and your dad somewhere inside, no off site guards right now but even if someone was watching, you wouldn't have cared. Levi turned as he saw the frantic woman rushing at him and frowned, not liking the expression on your face. You looked pained and scared and in a flurry of movement you threw yourself into his arms, clinging tightly for dear life. The impact made him step back and huff out a small breath of air as he held on to your body, stroking your slightly wet locks. "What happened? (F/N)? You ok?"

It was going to sound stupid but you couldn't shake the sensation that made your veins feel full of ice, a grip on your heart that hurt terribly. "Nightmare. But it was more than that. I….I…." It was impossible to even start to explain and you shook your head against Levi's chest, taking solace from the soothing beat that pounded within. "I know it seems ridiculous." He held you out at arms length, scrutinizing your face and seeing the horror that lay on your features. 

"It's not. Now breathe, start from the beginning."

With a deep sigh, you started to try and vocalise what had occurred, giving life to the images that had disturbed you so deeply. There was a dark room, no windows and a musty smell. Dust. Pain. Fear. Another person. Thumps on the door, more faces that were shocked as well as saddened. Blood on your hands. It made little sense and you told Levi how this dream used to plague you as a child but you'd forgotten all about it until now.

"What were you thinking about before you went to sleep?"

"Not being in control of myself."

"What do you mean?"

"The way I acted in the gym, Levi. I thought you were Jean, worked myself up so much that I truly believed he was in there with me and I lost all sense of the situation. I'm so sorry."

"Tch. Don't apologise." He stayed quiet a moment, looking out across the grounds and thinking how he knew exactly what it felt like to cloud over and lose coherent thought. "Has that ever happened before? Not knowing why you're doing something?"

"Kind of. In the shower. I knew what I was doing but without any good reason." Nodding at your admittance, he started to wonder if there was something deeper.

"What about when you were a kid?"

"Not that I can remember. It's just a shitty dream. Sorry, I shouldn't have bothered you with it."

"Oi. Yes you fucking should. I'll be done out here soon, then we can talk. Alright?" You nodded and gave him another strong hug, already starting to feel a bit better, the nightmare slowly leaving you in peace once more.

~~~~~

You'd spoken over a cup of tea in the kitchen but the memory had faded so dimly that it was hard to get much out of the conversation. Levi had made a mental note to keep an eye out for any kind of suggestion that your reality was slipping and the rest of the day passed by as usual. He had left you in bed in the evening, advising you that an early night would be a good idea and now sat in the drawing room with your father, chess board set up and ready to go. They weren't alone though as you'd crept in not long after, declaring that you couldn't sleep. You were certainly doing a good job of it now, curled up on the sofa next to your man, breaths deep and steady.

Your dad looked over as you twitched and moved, muscles working whilst you dreamt. "She been doing that a lot?" Levi glanced at your form and moved a piece of hair from where it had fallen on your face and shook his head. 

"No. Just today." You'd told him earlier that when you woke after your troubled nap you were still in spasms for a moment and presumed it had started in the midst of slumber. The older man had a grim expression on his usually friendly features and moved his first pawn. 

"Keep a close watch. Let me know if it carries on." His voice was low and solemn, eyes fixed on the board as the opponent opposite made a play whilst speaking. 

"She told me about a nightmare." Levi didn't think you'd mind and your dad certainly seemed to know there was something going on, in fact he seemed quite concerned.

Solidifying his belief, he was suddenly met by a gaze that stared across as if he had just told him some terrible news. The small flicker of despair only lasted a second but he had noticed it and listened closely at the quiet words he was offered. "I thought that had all stopped years ago. Damn." He cast his eyes down again, trying to concentrate on the game. Levi wondered if this man was like him and the woman on the sofa, more open to talking when preoccupied so he tested the waters.

"(F/N) managed to floor me in the gym earlier."

"She's working hard."

"Yea. It was a fucking surprise to be honest. To her as well."

"What happened?"

"Said she lost control. Didn't know what she was doing. Thought I was that dickhead major." The newly captured bishop was placed gently on the table by your father and he sighed, looking up again.

"Levi, I'll be frank. This sort of thing has happened before but she has no recollection of it. I might need to have a serious talk with her, however not now. It depends on whether or not it continues. Any other instances? Strange behaviour?" The episode on Saturday night under the shower was definitely not something to be shared with your dad, so instead the pale man just shook his head. "Good. Let's hope it stays that way. Keep me up to date." He gave no more insight into the whys or the hows, just got on with the game in silence.

Inevitability set in and your father won, but only by a margin. There was no look of triumph though, only disturbed reflection and he glanced at the time. "It's late. Better get yourselves up to bed. And Levi? Please, not a word." Your lover nodded slowly and stood, gazing down at your now settled body, no sign of the previous distress. With gentle movements he scooped you up, holding your form close and smiled lightly as you nuzzled your head into his chest with a small sigh. Saying his quiet good night to the other man, he carried you upstairs with ease and laid you down softly on the mattress, tucking you in with care. Levi got himself ready and slid in beside you, placing a kiss on your head and cuddling up tightly. He lay awake a while, thinking about what it might be that was coming to the surface in the woman he cherished intensely.

~~~~~~

By Wednesday there had been no more instances to suggest anything was wrong, other than the occasional episode of sleep induced thrashes. Levi said nothing to you about the chat with your father and every time he saw the man he would nod to confirm all was well. Sitting on your sofa, you rattled a lighter on the table nervously, checking the time every few minutes. "Can we not go now?" The man beside you sighed and held your hand still, the noise becoming slightly irritating. 

"No. Annie's not going to be there for another hour." You sulked, totally impatient and needing to do something instead of waiting.

The impending journey was picking at your mind and the ball of adrenaline that sat in your chest was about to burst. The possibility of Jean's house being alarmed was very real and you tried to think of what the code might be. There were a few options, and you kept them stored up in your brain for any eventuality. "How long until we have to leave?" Your voice was insistent and Levi smiled. 

"Forty minutes." It was far too long to stay here and deal with the anxiety, so you made a suggestion. 

"Ok, here's how it is. I can't sit still. Let's go to the pub." The other option was to remain and put up with your unrest, so he agreed.

The glass of wine and fresh air had helped and soon you found yourselves at the bottom of Jean's road, a blonde figure approaching in the darkness. The three of you stood together, looking up the quiet street with anticipation and a male voice started the mission. "Let's get this shit over and done with." With casual steps you walked as if taking a stroll through the leafy surroundings, light and natural. Each house was surrounded by trees and large driveways and some boasted expansive front gardens. The foliage provided privacy both ways, hiding the residents from view but also shielding your group from nosey neighbours. Your nerves had dissipated and now you had only strong determination in mind, a goal that would surely mean freedom.

Holding tightly to Levi's hand you looked at the wealth and status all around, spotting classic sports cars and impressive large rides that were owned by the people who called this place home. The evening was cool but not unpleasant, small breeze rustling through the trees to provide the only sound. "Is anyone even in?" Annie spoke softly, pointing out how quiet the road was and the fact that quite a few houses were in darkness. 

"Maybe they're all away for Christmas?" Your supposition was based on the belief that these were second homes, a place in the quaint town for holidays or maybe work. The other woman hummed, agreeing with her friend and you started to near the right building.

There was a letter box on the front gate, the name confirming that this was the place. Without stopping, Levi led the two females around the side where he had spotted another entry point, not wanting to use the main one that was in clear sight. This one was smaller and set into the large hedge that lined the property, thick leaves as effective as a wall. Luckily it was unlocked and you pulled your gloves out to open it up. Annie had brought some too, finding it too good an opportunity to pass up as she thought it was as funny as you had done. The outside area was well kept with pristine lawns and you held back the urge to run all over the green blades, muddy the perfect grass.

A shed stood to one side along with a concrete outhouse and another gate sat in the adjoining wall, no doubt leading to the back gardens and probably a pool too. There was a door on the main house, one that should give you entry to the kitchen if the window was anything to go by. Through the glass you could make out the shape of a tap and something that looked like an aga stove. Peering in, you saw a box on the wall with illuminated buttons. The alarm pad. Fuck. Of course it was secured by an electronic guard and you weren't sure why you would have thought otherwise. You pointed for the benefit of the others. "What if I can't shut it up?" Levi had considered your question already and had seen no security lights or cameras out here, so you would probably not be illuminated and filmed at least. 

"Out the back. There's bound to be another fucking gate. I saw a dirt track on some maps so I guess it must be accessible." That was a lot of assumptions, but you had no choice.

Keys in hand, you selected the smallest of the two and examined it, glancing up at the lock. They looked similar so you gave it a try. The item slid in with ease and you turned to your companions. "Ready?" Hearts pounding, you were graced with nods and with a deep breath you turned the key. With a swift movement you pulled the handle and flew across the short distance to the control panel, reaching it before the sirens even started. It was excruciatingly shrill and with shaking hands you pushed the first combination. 1234. Nothing happened so you tried your next idea. The sound of blessed silence descended and you let out the air you had been holding in your lungs.

The others rushed in and Annie shut the door quietly. Staying still, you strained to hear any sign of residents checking on the disturbance but nothing happened. The alarm had been stopped so quickly that you doubted anyone even had time to notice where the noise came from and might have thought the owner had done it themselves. "What was the code?" Levi looked over in the gloom for your answer. 

"His birthday. Stupid self absorbed prick. It's probably his pin number too so keep an eye out for any credit cards." The man let out a small laugh and Annie grinned, actually checking out her surroundings for the prospect of plastic money. She didn't need the cash, but wanted to hit the man where it hurt. His wallet.

The kitchen was compact and gleaming, everything spotless and you imagined a cleaner was employed here as the major surely had better things to do with his precious time. There were no signs of personality though, just generic table ware and appliances. Not wanting to go through all the drawers if possible, you decided to move to the next room. It was the living area, large cream sofa dominating the space and light beech furniture complimenting it. Before you could walk in, a hand stopped you by gripping your shoulder. "Shoes off. There's carpets." Levi had seen the plush floor covering and even though it wasn't wet outside, small pieces of dirt got everywhere. He didn't mind soiling the fucker's house but foot prints could be traced just as well as fingers. You slipped your footwear off and felt annoyance at the way you had nearly stormed in. In all the programmes you watched there was usually a shoe imprint that was photographed for evidence and you were pissed that it hadn't been you who picked up on the presence of the carpet.

"Talk about narcissism." Annie's voice came from the other side of the room as she stared up, fireplace almost hidden by the amount of picture frames that hung over the whole wall. Every single one was of Jean. You all stood together and tried to take in the scene, eyes scanning over portraits and action shots. One of him in his uniform, another receiving a medal, landscape of the desert with the man himself standing grinning with his gun in hand. There must have been at least fifty photos covering the space, floor to ceiling filled by the smug and irritating male. 

"Fucking hell." It was all you could manage and turned away with disgust, looking around for a computer or laptop.

Nothing of the kind was in here so you made your way to the other door. It led to the hallway where the main entrance was to your right and a wooden staircase led upwards on the left. In front was another room and you decided to try this one next. It was a study, but presumably could have been a dining room if he so wished. A desk was in the corner and shelves ran along the walls, books neatly arranged. The computer was in here, an old desktop one with a monitor that looked like it came from the 1980s. Evidently he was not one for technology, which was good as maybe he hadn't figured out how to get the files from the USB to the hard drive.

You turned the box on and listened as the fans inside whirred to provide cooling air to the mother board and a clicking noise sounded as the electric brain loaded up it's information. As you waited, you ran your eyes over the surface of the desk and saw your tiny prize. "Annie, is this it?" She rushed over and clapped her hands together, the sound muffled by her gloves. 

"Yep! I made sure it was bright pink just to annoy the shit out of him." So, you had the video on the memory stick, now you needed to find the pictures of Annie. The computer screen was asking you for a password and you started to type. Jean Kirstein. Nope. Major Jean. Not that either. Major Kirstein. Come on, you thought, it's got to be something like that. Major Jean Kirstein. Access was granted and you silently thanked the man for being such a predictable prick.

There wasn't much on here and you clicked through the folders, finding nothing but work documents and personal information. Maybe he hadn't even put the pictures on here? Opening the desk drawer, you found a digital camera sitting amongst some pens and pads and switched it on. There they were. Your blonde friend in compromising positions, all taken from afar with the zoom on full, images slightly grainy. Pushing at the small buttons you erased all of the data after being asked by the device if you were totally sure you wanted to delete everything. Yes, I'm sure. It was placed back where it had come from and you thought of something.

Turning to the computer, you opened an internet window and went to the site that you knew he had an email account with. Entering the address, you saw the password autofill in a series of dots and grinned. Too easy. A few messages were in here but one stuck out as it was from himself and had an attachment. Jean was obviously aware of how to get the pictures from his camera at least and you looked over the thumbnail images. Hitting delete, you also made sure to remove the sent item from the other folder and clicked on the recycle bin. They were the only two in here so once more you erased them from existence.

The computer was shut down after you removed your browsing history and you straightened, grinning at your fellow criminals. "I can't imagine they're anywhere else." Everyone was in agreement and you crept out, leaving everything as it was. Back at the side door you placed the key in the lock and stopped. The damn alarm. You had no idea how to turn it back on, but Levi did. It was a model he was familiar with, having seen it a few times before in his line of work. He told you the sequence and left you with a warning. 

"You've got ten seconds to get out." Nodding, you waited until the two were outside and you pressed the buttons in the right order. Rushing through the door, you pushed it shut and turned the key as you heard a beep that signalled the house was once again secure.

Nervous giggles came from the women and you hugged, finally out of the blackmailing clutches of the man you hated so much. The metal item in your hand jingled and you held it up, the other key staring at you. "Fancy checking this out?" Pointing to the outhouse, you raised your eyebrows. Levi tutted and felt like he was in the presence of a naughty child. 

"Be fucking quick." With glee, you opened up the concrete building and the reached up for the light switch. The smile that had been on your face dropped as you stood inside with a slack jaw and wide eyes. 

"Ho. Lee. Shit." Annie spoke by your side with an identical expression and Levi's curiosity got the better of him, pushing past the unmoving females to see what the fuss was about.

No one spoke, you weren't capable right now and for a few minutes you just stared at the sight you had unearthed. The man broke the silence. "(F/N), isn't that…?" You finished for him with a whisper. 

"Yep. That's my fencing teacher." Each stone wall was covered entirely in photos, much like the living room but many, many more and none were framed. Some were taken on holiday, the faces of Jean and Marco smiling out from behind elaborate cocktails, sitting on the beach, holding hands in a bar. But there was more to it than that. 

"So are they going out then?" You shook your head at Annie's question and pointed up to a cluster of pictures. 

"They were going out. Look at these. They're more recent, both of them look younger in the others. And you see how they're not normal?" Every one of the newer snaps were taken from hiding, the subject not looking at the camera as he wasn't aware he was being photographed. 

"He's fucking stalking him." Levi's voice confirmed your thoughts and you lingered a while, gazing over the decidedly creepy building.

Your gloved hand was tugged and taking small steps backwards, you left the discovery behind, light off and door secured. "We've got to get rid of the keys and the files. Come on." The man led the way and you closed the gate, starting the walk home with a buzzing mind. What were you going to do? Surely Marco had to be warned, but you weren't in a position to justify your advice. How were you going to say to him you had broken into his ex's house and found the evidence?

Annie gave you a strong hug goodbye and thanked you for getting her out of the mess she had been in. "Don't mention it, bitch. Thank you too. See you soon." You gave her a kiss and watched as she walked away, a spring in her step. "So it's over." Standing close to Levi, you smiled as you spoke and pulled him in tightly, his voice in your ear. 

"Nearly over. I can't wait for the tearful fucking break up." You grinned and made for your house, walking arm in arm. Crossing a small bridge, you were stopped and your man asked for the USB stick. He took it and placed it on the ground, stamping strongly and smashing any evidence that remained into pieces of useless plastic and circuits. With a sweeping foot, he pushed the shards off the side and into the running water that flowed underneath you. "Keys can go somewhere else." It made sense to keep the items separate and you continued on your journey.

Lying that night in bed almost ready for sleep, you cuddled together, content at no longer being held over a barrel by Jean and also relaxed by the buzz that ran through you both, a remnant of the passionate sex you had shared earlier. "Levi?" He mumbled a nonsense noise, nearly asleep and you asked for his thoughts. "What shall I do about Marco?" Silence met your query at first and then a small noise of dismissal. 

"Nothing yet. We can't exactly tell him how we fucking know." The same conclusion had been made that you had come to earlier and you sighed. 

"Too true. Good night, Levi. Love you." He was already asleep and you smiled in the dark room.

~~~~~~

Morning peace was shattered by a piercing scream and Levi shot up, eyes wide. The woman beside him in bed was bolt upright and panting, skin soaked in sweat and hair stuck to her fearful face. Thinking of nothing other than protection, he took hold of your body and held tightly, soothing you with soft words and strokes to your back. You were terrified, shaking at the images that had just invaded your brain once more but they had gone further this time. They had opened a door and you were now dealing with something that was certainly real. Unsure how you knew, you sat limply in your man's arms and tried to process it. There had been a boy in the room with you this time but it had actually happened, of that you had no doubt as the memory was as vivid as anything else tangible in your life and the creeping feeling it elicited made you feel sick.

"It's ok, (F/N). It's a dream. I'm here." Still trembling, you shook your head against his skin and started to speak. 

"It's not, Levi I…" Before you could finish there was a knock at your door, an insistent voice coming through. 

"Is everyone ok? (F/N)? Levi?" Your father pounded on the wood demanding entry and quickly the pale man released his grip and pulled on his t-shirt and sweats, glad that you were wearing pyjamas. He opened the door, aware of the soft light outside that meant it was probably barely 6am and let the worried figure rush through.

"Dad, what's going on?" You looked up with more than a hint of accusation, convinced that something had occurred in your past and he was well aware of it. He looked concerned along with ashamed, but he covered it well. 

"You had a nightmare, (F/N). Try to calm down." It wasn't satisfactory, but he stopped you from protesting. "You've just woken up. Have a rest, talk it through. Once it's out you'll feel better." With a small smile he turned to leave but gave the man by the door a glare that held a warning of sorts. Whatever he had been alluding to the other day was clearly starting to materialise and Levi just nodded once, finding it hard to stop himself from grabbing your dad and shaking it out of him.

Instead, he got back onto the bed and looked closely over at you with dark eyes. Placing a hand on your leg gently, he saw you snap your head round, the scared look in your orbs mixed with anger. "Something's going on, Levi. I'm not fucking crazy." He pulled you close and you submitted, laying your head on his chest. 

"I know, (F/N). What were you going to say before?" Sitting back up, you locked your gaze onto his, ready to impart what would probably sound insane.

"It wasn't the same as before. It's bringing back some sort of memory. You know how you can tell reality from dreams? It feels different?" Levi nodded. Eventually false images would be forgotten and even if they were recalled, they were almost always obviously fake. Unless there was some kind of condition that prevented you telling the two apart, but he doubted that. Surely it would have become evident by this age. Clinging to that belief, he listened to the rest of what you had to say. "I was in that room with someone, as usual, but I saw them this time. I remembered him, not dreamt him up. He is fucking real and he is fucking evil."

There wasn't much more you could say as that was all you had been exposed to, your brain allowing a tiny snippet to come through. But why now? Maybe the stress of the situation with Jean, or your new found physical abilities? The way you could now fight back and defend yourself might have unlocked something inside, allowing your mind to deal with it now that you were stronger. To be honest, you really had no fucking clue and sighed, rubbing your fatigued face. "Sorry, Levi. I know it sounds fucked up but I'm serious." Aware that there was an incident in the past where you lost control in some way, he fought with the feeling of keeping it from you.

With a deep breath and strong resolve, he spoke. "Listen, I'm going to tell you something but you have to keep it from your dad. He'd lose all fucking respect for me if he knew but I can't let you carry on like this." You got up and went to the sofa, motioning for him to follow and the two bodies sat together, cigarettes a much needed medication right now. "He saw you twitching in your sleep downstairs the other night. Said I should keep a watch on you. It's happened before, (F/N). The dreams, the losing control. But for some reason you can't fucking remember it." Sitting quietly, you digested the information and turned slowly, voice low and full of malice.

"So this was on Monday? And you didn't tell me?"

"No, I didn't. It's called keeping your fucking word."

"How proper of you, Levi."

"Look, don't get all high and fucking mighty, (F/N). I'm telling you now. One thing in my life has been constant. I am true to my promises, but now it's different. Do you know how hard it is to break from your personality? Try and go against what comes naturally?"

"Yes I do. All too well." Sighing, you crushed out your smoke and looked back over to the frowning man. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm a bit, well, fucking freaked out right now."

"I get it. Apology accepted. Now stop being a brat and listen." His eyes were brighter than before and you smiled weakly, the small squabble over. "Right. So, we will get to the bottom of this fucking mess together, yes?" You nodded. "Good. You tell me if you remember anything else, no matter how small and shitty it might seem. And if you feel like you're getting clouded, let me know. I'm sure your dad will tell you when he's ready." Nodding again, you took his hand strongly as he continued. "But if you want to try out any kinky shit again, I'm up for that." He made you laugh, mood lightened and you sat back into the soft seat. For a while you stayed there, both thinking about what the hell all of this meant and how long your father would leave you in suspense. He must have his reasons though and you tried to suppress the need to go and interrogate the man.

By afternoon you had mellowed slightly and walked across the grounds, clearing your head and getting some fresh air. Your dad had been busy at work in his study all day and probably avoiding you, Erwin was in the gym leaving Levi on front gate duty. An off site guard walked the perimeter and you nodded kindly as he passed in the distance. He grinned and waved, remembering how you brought him some food out on Christmas Day and had stood chatting a while as he munched on the turkey sandwich. You stopped by the forest, staring out into the trees and smelling the wood that skipped across on the breeze. As the scent invaded your senses, you froze, a picture in your mind that was as clear as that of the boy you had seen this morning. Something had definitely been awakened inside of you, a dark and disturbing awareness that you wished would go away.

Running, you made for the front entrance, once more fleeing towards your lover. He was on the phone and as you approached he turned and hung up, looking at you with annoyance. "You've got some explaining to do, (F/N)." Confused, you came to a halt and stood with heavy breaths, hands out in a questioning stance. "Apparently, someone was speaking to a certain patient about the lovely fucking view and now they're going on a little field trip tomorrow, Farlan included. You're not getting out of it either." Smiling, you thought how nice a gesture it was that the staff had listened and made the effort to arrange such a thing, but Levi was obviously not impressed so you tried to reason with him.

"It'll be good for them to get out and about. Don't sulk." He looked down at your bright features and wondered how the hell he could stay angry at that face. "Tch. Come here." He pulled you into a hug and breathed in the jasmine smell he loved so much, but not ready to forgive you totally and he grumbled into your hair. "You owe me." He quickly recalled how you had been rushing to him and pulled back from the embrace, frown in place still. "Why were you coming over?" You'd momentarily forgotten and when prompted, the look in your eyes changed instantly. 

"I remembered something. The smell of wood and pain." It wasn't much, however it was more than slightly sinister. The man took you into his arms once again and held tight, scowling into the distance. "Levi? I'm scared." It wasn't something you admitted to readily, preferring to stay strong but it was impossible to deny the truth. He squeezed you closer and thought how your father better have a good excuse for keeping this from you. 

"I'm here, (F/N). Don't be afraid. You should worry more about tomorrow's fucking visit. We need to leave at nine." Again, you smiled at the prospect of the outing, actually looking forward to it.


	16. Fraught Minds

Breakfast was finished and you were emptying the dishwasher of last night's items, ready to load the next lot in. Picking out the cutlery basket, you put the forks in their place, stowed the spoons and knives but you held on to one. It was a sharp carving knife and you turned it round in your hand, watching the way the light shone and flickered across gleaming metal. Unaware of why you were about to do this, you spread your hand on the chopping board, digits splayed and your dominant fist gripped the handle of the blade. Heart racing, you knew this had to be done, it would be too exciting to pass up. You started off slowly, tapping the tip of the item in between each finger in sequence back and forth, right to left then left to right. Keeping the pace, you increased the strength of the stabs and heard the satisfying thud of the metal hitting wood.

You maintained your rhythm for a while and quickly grew bored so decided to speed it up. It wasn't that you wanted to hurt yourself, just like you hadn't intended on drowning in the shower but the mere prospect of danger was making you feel alive. The steady sound of your motions was hypnotic and you got faster still, looking down with a smile. "What the fuck?" Levi broke your concentration and the knife fell from your grasp, clattering to the floor and narrowly missing your foot. You stared at it and slowly looked up to meet his worried gaze, unclear on what had just happened and mumbled. 

"Shit. Sorry." He retrieved your plaything from the tiles and carefully put it with the dirty dishes before holding your shoulders steady, eyes locked onto yours.

"Describe it." His request was gentle but insistent and you started to try and explain, slightly hesitant but ready to make the attempt. 

"I liked how it looked and wondered how fast I could go without stabbing a fucking finger." Levi nodded and pressed forwards, asking if you had felt strange or disconnected at any point. "No, just that I wanted to do it." He let you go and helped with the clear up exercise, glancing over occasionally at the woman who seemed to be unable to stop this behaviour. It had always been present with the trips out, the parties and sneaking around, but that was only considered 'out there' in this kind of sheltered existence, that's why he had encouraged it, being relatively harmless. But this was different and he worried how far you might go to put yourself in harm's way, just for the thrill.

"All sorted." You rubbed your hands together and went to leave the kitchen, the two of you climbing the stairs together. At your floor, Levi left you with a mutter about needing to get some of his things and you agreed to meet by the main door in ten minutes to make the journey to the hospital. Stalking up, he walked with determination and in a move that was considered ill mannered, he pushed straight into your father's study, eyes dark and piercing.

"Whatever is going on, she's going to end up fucking hurting herself Mr (L/N), so either you help your daughter or I will." The man wasn't shocked, nor was he annoyed and he sat back in his chair, welcoming your bodyguard and lover to sit. Levi remained still, so your father started talking. 

"It's not that simple. What did she do?" The events from downstairs were curtly explained and he nodded, lips pressed together and face tight with dismay. For whatever reason, things were resurfacing and it would undoubtedly result in serious damage again if left unchecked. "I don't want to bring anything up that doesn't need to be discussed, Levi. We'll keep a watchful eye." For a moment the security guard stayed in place, furious at this man for just sitting back and letting you go through all of this shit, but common sense got the better of him. Your father wasn't stupid and he loved you dearly, so there must be a logical reason for this reticence. There had to be. But that meant the revelation of whatever was going on was going to be much worse than you nearly impaling yourself on a kitchen knife, a thought that was deeply troubling.

"Right Sir. Apologies for my entrance just now." His words were clipped and precise, tone conveying his dislike at the situation but also correct and polite. Levi swept out and went to grab some clothes from his room, adjusting the pile of books slightly as they weren't quite lined up right. Don't you fucking start, he told himself. One of you had to be sane, for fuck sakes. He dropped the items off in what was swiftly becoming his home and stormed downstairs, trying to push down his anger so as not to direct it to the woman that waited for him. As he entered the hallway, he saw you standing by the door, timid and uncertain and his heart nearly burst with a wrenching sorrow, all of his irate mood slipping away in a second. By your side in a flash, he wrapped his arms around your body, holding on to you with desperation.

You clung together and the fact that two people who were now more than a little unravelled would imminently be leaving to visit a psychiatric hospital was not lost on the couple. "I spoke to your dad. Told him what happened. He wouldn't say a fucking thing still." You weren't upset at their previous conversation, it was only natural that Levi would want to try and get some answers and you were anxious about why the older man remained tight lipped on the situation. 

"Alright. Let's suck it up and get going." Your attempt at being strong was bordering on laughable, the small voice betraying your words and you both smiled, giving a dark humour to the moment.

The journey was pleasant enough but you didn't linger at the view point. Plenty of time for that later. Entering the grounds, you approached the secure door and buzzed for attention, waiting no time at all for a figure to comply. It was a different nurse this time, but an equally friendly looking one. Inside there was a small flurry of activity and you thought how New Year's Eve was obviously not as short staffed as Christmas Eve. A familiar voice rang out, a distinctly male one and you heard footsteps hammering on the clean linoleum floor. 

"Who the fuck did this to me? Yeager, was it you?" Farlan appeared with his hair full of the accessories you had bought for Isabel, sprigs of dirty blonde locks sticking out from ties and clips. It was hard, but you managed not to laugh and you heard a tiny sigh of amusement by your side.

"It wasn't me you idiot, you did it!" The brunette was defending himself from where he stood in the main area, his morose sister fussing over him and securing his light jacket. He must be coming too, you thought and watched as Farlan pulled all of the items from his head with a scowl, member of staff gathering them up where they fell so they could be safely put away in his room. 

"Levi! Come over here, I've got some beers, shall we get on it?" The glee on his face was genuine and ultimately depressing, knowing full well there was no alcohol in here. Your man waved his excited friend over and spoke quietly in a conspiring tone. 

"Later, Farlan. We don't want to share with these fuckers." He was greeted by a grin and a wink and you gazed upon the exchange with a smile. It really was heart warming to see the interaction, the way Levi kept up the fantasy for the benefit of his friend.

"Farlan, coat please. It's cooled down out there again." The nurse you had seen on your previous visits was here and he helped the tall man with his outer wear. A flash of bright blonde materialised and Armin came into view staring at you with the same rapture as before, lips moving silently as he scanned your face. You remained still, letting him finish what he had to do before speaking. 

"(F/N), h-hi! I can't believe we're going out! C-can you walk with me? If you don't mind?" He was decidedly sweet, such a mild mannered individual and you nodded. 

"Sure, Armin. I'd love to." There was no noise of annoyance beside you, Levi more than happy to watch you show your kind nature again.

The man skipped away to fetch his shoes and the serene moment was disturbed by a cry from across the room. "Captain Levi! Captain Levi!" A faint tut came from the man in question but he stayed put, letting the smiling figure with green eyes rush over. Despite being the tallest of the two, the resident seemed to be smaller, purely because of the way he held himself. He was excited but meek, almost cowering in the older man's presence. "Come and see, I finished the windows." Eren scuttled off, followed by a confidently marching figure with jet black hair, hands behind his back like he was carrying out an inspection. You looked over as the brunette pointed up, eyes expectant and he was granted a curt nod and a few words. Whatever was said caused him to clutch his hands to his chest and he ran off to get his boots on.

A voice spoke closely in your ear, the nurse now done with Farlan's jacket. "He's been scrubbing that since breakfast. Really wants to impress your friend." You faced the man and smiled. 

"I'm (F/N), by the way. Sorry for not introducing myself before." He waved away your apology. 

"It's ok, Isabel told me all about you. My name's Gebhard." Shaking hands, you were joined by Levi, his face unreadable as he opened his mouth to speak. 

"He's actually done a fucking good job." Your smile widened and the nurse clapped his hands and spoke loudly. 

"Everybody ready? Ok, off we go!"

He led the way, two other workers taking up the rear like a security detail and you supposed that's what they were in reality. Eren buzzed around his Captain, chatting incessantly and moving everywhere, unable to stay still. Farlan laughed and tried to strike up a conversation with the stern sister, only getting a few short responses and Armin was glued to your side. 

"This is amazing. Look at the trees, (F/N)! So beautiful." His blue eyes were wide and drinking in the scenery and the sound of feet crunching on the forest floor was strangely soothing. After a while you reached the main event and the group was silent, all gazing out across the valley and staring at the mountains. The staff had been here before, as had you and Levi but it still never ceased to take everyone by surprise.

The three patients stood together quietly and you turned to Gebhard, taking advantage of the calm and seeking professional advice. "Can I ask you something please?" Your voice was low and he met your gaze, seeing trepidation in your eyes.

"Of course, (F/N)."

"If someone had repressed memories, why would they start coming out suddenly? Does there need to be a trigger?"

"Not necessarily. Usually there is, but it could be anything, even something seemingly unrelated."

"I see. Thank you."

"If you could be more specific I might be able to offer more assistance?" You weren't sure how far to go with this and carefully answered.

"In a situation that seems to be about fear and lack of control, would an incident like blackmail play a part? Or perhaps the new ability to be capable of defending one's self?" It was kept anonymous and your words chosen with care, but you were sure it hadn't convinced the kind man. Even so, he made no suggestion towards the fact it was your own issue you described.

"Certainly possible. If that feeling of having no power is presented once more, the old memories could come spilling out when confronted by the familiar sensation. Sometimes all at once, but most often in pieces of a puzzle. It can be alarming and fast so it's important to have someone nearby that understands what is happening in that person's mind to some extent."

"Is there any way to speed it up?"

"Perhaps, but that isn't always a good idea. Try and force the psyche to do something at a pace it's not happy with and you could cause so many more problems...Armin! Put it down."

He hurried off to remove the rock from the man's hand, sure he just wanted to collect something from his trip but preferably not an item that could be used to cause damage. Levi came close and muttered quietly. "What did he say?" He had guessed what you were discussing and listened to your summary of the conversation with a studious gaze. Nodding, he looked out to the gathered people, watching Farlan chatting casually, no sign of any distress today. "Ok (F/N). Suppose we just have to fucking carry on like we were for now. Oh shit." Eren was strutting over, teal eyes gleaming as he joined the couple.

"Sir, what's your next order?" He gave a strange salute and you saw him stand to attention, waiting patiently for a command. Levi thought about it and stared at the man with boredom, aware of some gesticulations from across the clearing. 

"Back to the barracks, brat. And don't give me any shit." His words were heeded and the group started to make their way back to the hospital for lunch. Armin was quiet, upset at having to return and dragged his feet while he walked. You jogged over to speak with the blonde, concerned at his change in demeanour. 

"Hey Armin, why don't you tell me what all of these are?" Gesturing around the collection of foliage, you invited him to put his knowledge of the outside world to use and saw his face light up again.

The journey was filled with his narration and you listened carefully, glancing round occasionally to watch Levi and Farlan hold their own conversation, one which looked light and humorous. Eren still marched with determination, his sister keeping up and you wondered if she ever really spoke. Back inside, the operation of coat and shoe removal was underway and you helped out, delivering jackets to the cupboard where they hung and making sure everyone had put their footwear where it should be. The smell of food drifted through, signalling their lunchtime and you said your goodbyes, no physical contact with Armin but a strong hug for Farlan, during which you got a pinch on the ass and a cheeky grin.

Eren seemed to have forgotten all about Levi and sat at a table, patiently waiting for food, his sibling next to him with her serious face in place, scarf still round her neck like a comfort blanket. "You can stay if you want?" Gebhard's suggestion was met by a shake of the head from the man now beside you. 

"Thanks but we have to get going." The nurse nodded and opened the door, holding you back a second. 

"If you need to talk, you know where I am. Happy New Year." You thanked him for his kindness and wished him the best for the upcoming event, slipping out and catching up with the pale man.

~~~~~~

You weren't really one for celebrating the turn of the year now, sometimes going out to watch fireworks but nothing too exciting. Living in cities had been much more involved - the places had come alive with parties and drinking, however now you were here in the relatively sleepy town which had a small display at the stroke of midnight. Not worth bothering though, so you would be spending the evening in. Some messages had been sent to your friends, telling them to have fun and conveying hope for the next twelve months. Despite the obvious issues that had surfaced, you actually thought that this impending year would be better now that you had found comfort and love. You felt an evil excitement too, almost impatient for Jean to return home and find out that his evidence had been eliminated.

Also, the staff would be back on Monday and you couldn't wait to see them all again. It was strange to think it had only been two weeks since they'd gone, give or take, and the amount of things that had happened in your life made the time seem much longer. Currently you were cooking, preparing the meal for tonight that would undoubtedly be a rather strained affair. You had to make out that you were unaware of the discussions between your father and Levi, but also had to sit and hold your tongue to prevent any kind of outbursts. Perhaps he didn't fully know what you were going through? Either way, he had his reasons for staying silent on the subject and all you could really do was wait.

Which reminded you of something else you were waiting for. Even though it was a few days before you realistically should spot any signs of your monthly gift from mother nature, it hadn't stopped you taking regular trips to the toilet to see if anything was happening. Maybe one day you'd want children, but not right now and every time you emerged from the bathroom you had a disappointed look on your face. Levi hadn't mentioned it again, leaving it alone to let time do the telling and not wanting to risk causing you any more anxiety than already sat heavily on your shoulders.

The man in your thoughts entered, casting a close eye over your creations. "Well, you obviously don't need me here. This looks fucking good." You smiled and wiped down the surface. 

"Not for cooking assistance I don't Levi, but can you stay?" He nodded and placed his arms around your waist, moving sideways with you as you shifted to the hob. It made your job a little harder, yet you needed to feel his touch. Stirring the pot's contents gently, you sighed. "The walk went well today." Keeping it casual, you turned the chat to earlier and diverted your attention to the new subject.

"Yea, it did. Thank you (F/N)."

"What for?"

"Being so goddamn sweet."

"My pleasure. You're quite the popular man there yourself."

"Could have been worse. At least I was in the fucking good books today."

"It's cute."

"No it's not. Shut the fuck up."

"No."

Fingers dug into your sides and you shrieked with laughter, the tickles shooting through you in sparks. "Ok, ok! Now let me finish this off, otherwise you're getting slop for dinner." He smiled and stepped back, watching your expert motions as you plated up the meal. Taking two each, you delivered the food to the small dining room and sat to eat, tension thick in the air. Your father started to talk, deflecting what he thought was just between him and Levi. 

"Any wild parties planned tonight?" Erwin laughed in response but it sounded false, the atmosphere blatantly darker than usual. 

"No dad, just a few drinks."

It went quiet again, the sound of cutlery on plates the only noise for a while until the man of the house spoke up again. "So you're off home on Monday? Bet you can't wait to see the kids." His bodyguard chatted with vigour about the two, a boy and a girl, telling stories of the trouble they got themselves into and their childish lust for life. You joined in with questions and comments, taking advantage of the lightened mood. Luckily, the subject saw you through to the end of dinner and your dad announced he would clear up. "Once it's sorted I have some work to do." You made an effort to put him off, tell him he shouldn't be doing that kind of thing on this day but secretly you were glad for it. "I'm sure you kids will have fun without me. Happy New Year." He left you with a kiss and a hug, a stronger one than usual and he shook the men's hands, lingering with Levi a little longer than required.

Erwin stayed up in the drawing room a while, but by ten he declared defeat, an early shift on the gate in store for tomorrow and he gratefully left the still slightly tense air. Speaking quietly, you mumbled into the silent space. "No point staying down here." It was true, why would you bother when it was just the two of you? The man next to you agreed and you dampened the flames in the fireplace while he fetched some more drinks and glasses from the kitchen. Meeting in the hallway, you climbed to the second floor and back to the comfort of your room. 

The sculpture was still in here along with a neat pile of clothing and you tapped your finger on the wardrobe door. "You can put those in here, you know." Levi looked over. Why the hell not? Even with everyone returning on Monday, you could still remain here together, surely? He wasn't particularly fond of public affection or having the attention on him and this was your private sanctuary.

"Thanks, (F/N). I will. Been fucking annoying me having them sat out on the side." You laughed and poured some drinks, curtains open to catch a glimpse of the fireworks that would be set off in just under two hours and you watched as your man expertly arranged his items in the cupboard, taking up the spaces that weren't in use. You weren't one for excessive clothes, hating the waste of money that came with indulgent shopping sprees. Of course there were more than enough dresses, but your attendance at certain functions required an extensive choice. You spotted Jean's keys on the nightstand and picked them up, metal jangling in your hand. 

"What shall we do with these?"

Sitting on the sofa, Levi shrugged and took a sip of wine as you joined him, pressed in close. "I've got to take your dad to make a visit on Monday. I can find some place to get rid of that shit." Frowning, you raised your glass to your lips, liquid gulped down and you visually asked for elaboration. "Erwin's going home that day so I have to go. Walking distance at least, I hate fucking driving." You got comfortable and smirked, poking him in the leg. 

"I've never seen you drive, actually." He swatted your hand away lazily and sat back, turning to meet your gaze, own small smile on his face. 

"So?" It wasn't really something you had an answer for, your words had only been an observation of sorts.

"Don't know where I was going with that. I can't imagine you behind the wheel." He crossed his legs and looked across, amused by the odd statement.

"And why not? I haven't seen you fucking drive, but I don't think you'd look out of place."

"I didn't said out of place. And anyway, I never learnt. With my co-ordination, can you imagine me in control of a huge chunk of metal?"

"It's a fucking scary thought (F/N). But I could teach you if you want."

"Really?"

"Yea, just let me check my life insurance and medical cover are both up to date, then I'll get in a fucking car with you." You jabbed him in the ribs and cuddled up with a sigh as your mind once more darkened.

"Probably not a good idea right now, though."

"Mmm. Probably not. Listen." He shifted so your faces were close, gazes connected in the dim light from the bedside lamp. "It's going to be ok. One way or another. And I'm right fucking here, alright?" You nodded and smiled faintly, giving in to the fact there was nothing much you could do about anything as it currently stood. His lips touched yours gently in a show of love and protection and you kissed back, the soft motions becoming heated in lightning speed. It was like neither of you could hold back your passion, incapable of containing the lust that sparked between the two of you. Moving in, you were now lying on top of Levi as he slid back against the large cushions on the arm of the sofa, hands on your ass as he submitted, at least physically.

Pulling back slightly for breath, you looked down with a smile, noticing the smug way his mouth was arranged and you waited for the inevitable. "This time, let me know if you're up to something. I want to fucking join in." The serious nature of what seemed to be some kind of flashback situation was made lighter by his words and you had no issue with laughing at his request, surrendering to the bizarre nature of your occasional lapses in sanity. 

"I might not even know, Levi. Just do what I fucking want though." His eyes flashed, aroused by your momentary dominance and he agreed to do whatever you asked as long as it wasn't too dangerous. He was aware that nothing untoward might manifest, you'd been unloading the fucking dishes when it happened before. As long as he was here to take care of you, it would be ok, just like he had said.

As you started up the embrace again, you sighed into your lover's mouth. There had been plenty of intimate moments since last Saturday's shower and nothing strange had overtaken you, but there was something about being invited to do it that made you relax, almost coaxing your inner self to seek out the thrills that would push you to explore the boundaries of safety. It could just be a small thing, like the knife in the kitchen, yet if there was a chance to control potential harm you would press and pick at the scab to the point just before it became too destructive.

You felt completely free and started to rip at Levi's clothes, tugging at the fabric that stood in the way of you both. The fact that your body laid on his made it impossible to undress so you leapt up and stripped quickly, those silver orbs watching intently as their owner did the same with his garments. With a swift movement, he grabbed a condom from the drawer knowing that this was getting hot, fast and he rolled it on before getting back where he was before. Instantly he was joined by his woman and the strong kiss was revisited, tongues fighting and caressing with zealous strokes. You were on him again but this time kneeling either side of his hips, torso melded against his.

He felt your hand on his erection, angling him in and body pushing down with force. Mouths broke away and you both groaned, caught up in the urgency and desire. Strong thrusts started as they meant to go on and the grip Levi had on your hips assisted him with matching your pace. "Fuck…faster…" You made your own change in speed but asked him to comply also, preferring to request it still. 

"Like that, (F/N)? That what you fucking want?" With a moan you tried to nod but failed and placed your head down on his shoulder. 

"Levi…you…" He understood without needing to be fully told and stopped, both getting up again, cushions spilling onto the floor and you got back onto the couch. This time, you held onto the arm of the furniture and knelt again, but now waiting for him to fill you from behind.

He loved your sometimes sudden need to let him control you and relished the chance to take the lead. His cock plunged deeply inside and you called out, a smile on your face as you were thrust forward by the force, hands slipping from their place. It resulted in your neck landing on the hard arm of the sofa and in the back of your mind, it was reminiscent of before, breath restricted. With small noises you spoke once more, voice rough and dripping with ecstasy. "Oh god Levi, yes…fuck…you do it…please…" He heard the change and saw your position, how you tried to press further into the solid item. The man felt a strange sensation, a mixture of both being in charge and wanting to succumb to what you desired. It would be a matter of taking care to keep himself in check but he was ready to try it out.

Not faltering, he continued his relentless pounding motions and whispered in wavering words. "Get back up." You did as you were told, hands on the sofa once more and with a burst of electricity you felt Levi's fingers on your throat, tilting your head back. Holding your left hip tightly, he increased the pressure on your neck with the grip from his right hand, squeezing slightly but making sure it wasn't hard, just enough to make you feel like something might happen. It was fucking dangerous, but you trusted him with your life and right now maybe it was literally in his hands.

It felt exquisite and the knowledge that at any moment the hold could increase was intoxicating as you moaned out in pleasure and anticipation. "Yes…jesus…shit…" It was taking all of his self discipline to stop himself from letting go and coming there and then, your beautiful body underneath him sending him crazy, the feeling of your pulse under his touch insanely delicious but he held on as he heard familiar sounds. "Ohhh yes, harder, I'm…I…" He felt you tighten around his member and Levi growled a desperate question. 

"Do you want it?" One singular shout of affirmation reached his ears and as the man lost all sense of clarity he clamped down hard with his right hand to choke you, just fingers and thumb, making sure to avoid the delicate area in the middle.

Your world turned hazy and surreal, chest tight and eyes dimming as you struggled to breathe. Heart beats thumped slowly in your head like they were trying to escape through your ears and the sensation of falling filled your fading thoughts. The knot in your abdomen burst forth with power, orgasm taking over your whole body with shakes and shivers, combining magnificently with the lack of oxygen. He had only held you for a few seconds and released his grip as soon as he felt your figure give in to pleasure. With a sharp intake of air, you filled your lungs and let out a shout of extreme euphoria. It was all Levi could take and he placed his grasp on both of your hips now, moaning words as he began to release in waves of delight. "Fuck, (F/N)...yes..." He thrust viciously a few more times and came with ferocity, fingers digging into your flesh as he called out.

The movements slowed, hanging onto the last remnants of your peaks, both of you hissing your breaths. Once he stopped, all either of you could do was collapse down and he shifted to the side. Removing the protection, the man dropped it to the floor on top of what he thought was his shirt and held you close, eyes linked and chests heaving. Your (e/c) gaze was twinkling with enjoyment and Levi stroked your hair, conveying the care and gentleness that was glaringly absent during the previous encounter. "Where did you learn how to do that?!" you gasped, smiling at your lover's seemingly expert actions. A hearty laugh came from within and he shook his head. 

"Believe it or not, I read it in a book. Never fucking tried it before." You grinned widely and started to laugh at the bizarre revelation, but coughed instead as you asked a question. 

"Were you scared?" Pale features became suddenly serious and he nodded once, eyes piercing into yours.

"I'll be honest, it's not something I want to fuck about with again (F/N). It could have been fucking disastrous." Sensing the sombre tone, you placed your hand on his face, running your thumb across his cheekbone with soothing rubs as he continued. "I shouldn't be encouraging you either. What sort of fucking idiot pushes the woman they love to do things that could cause harm? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take advantage of what you're going through." He felt awful now, putting you at serious risk based only on something he'd read, but he had been caught up in the moment and wanted to cause you as much pleasure as possible.

"Hey, listen Levi." His dark expression was full of regret and you were determined to put a stop to that right now. "Don't you dare apologise. Nothing happened that I didn't fucking want, I could have said no. Whatever the hell is going on, it's on me not you, I told you to do it. So don't feel bad, please. And for what it's worth, that was fucking incredible." You managed to lighten the atmosphere and he smiled once more. 

"Yea, it fucking was. Still not doing it again though." Nodding, you agreed and let yourself be pulled up and towards the shower.

Later you sat back against Levi's body, his arm around the front of your waist and a glass of wine in his free hand. You were on the window seat, your own drink in your grasp and two sets of eyes watched the fireworks outside. "Happy New Year, (F/N)." A kiss was placed on the top of your head and you squeezed his limb tightly, wishing him the same. Mesmerized by the bright lights, you sipped at the liquid and sighed. 

"It's going to be a good one. And I'm sorry." Your mumbled words were mild and his answer was spoken from where the man rested his head against the glass pane.

"What for?"

"Telling you do that earlier. I didn't think. I'm getting fucking good at that."

"You didn't force my hand, (F/N). All that was running through my head was making you happy. I told you I'd protect you, but I lost fucking control."

"We both did. I have to find out what the fuck is happening, Levi. I don't want to put you in that position again."

"Can I put YOU in that position again?" The lewd comment made you both laugh and you came to a silent mutual decision to leave this behind. It was thrilling, however not worth the implications of trying it again. And you had each voiced your thoughts on the whole thing, reaching an unspoken agreement that neither of you blamed the other or held any grudges. One more thing had to be said though and you asked a cheeky question. 

"What kind of fucking books do you read, anyway?" A burst of purple and blue filled the sky with a thunderous boom, signalling the end of the short display and Levi laughed. 

"You don't want to know, (F/N)."

You giggled and imagined him having a huge collection of erotica or something, a hilarious thought that was also quite a turn on. Stashing that for later, you stared outside at the dwindling fireworks in the air. It was a new year, a new start and you would make it your mission to find out the reasons behind your dangerous actions.


	17. Bittersweet Homecoming

Monday morning was buzzing with activity and you rushed around, greeting those who were returning from the festive break with strong hugs and excited chats. Your father was out with Levi to visit a nearby member of parliament and also to get rid of Jean's keys, so you were the welcoming committee, currently loving every second of it. You had managed to avoid your dad over the weekend quite well as he was constantly busy. No more episodes had occurred, no dreams or flashbacks, no stupid behaviour. There had been no more talk about the dangerous sex either, both of you content that it had been dealt with and would remain as a fond if somewhat fearsome memory, knowing too well what could have happened. Your physical relationship had continued though, the moment on Friday having no negative impact on any desire and passion for each other. If anything, it had solidified your feelings, proved the trust that you both already knew was there.

Another car pulled up and a blonde man stepped out, pulling his luggage from the trunk and waving the driver off. He looked well and you stood grinning at the door as Hannes approached. "Hey (F/N), Happy New Year!" You'd heard it so many times already but still liked to be greeted with enthusiasm and the man dropped his bags when he got close, pulling you into a strong hug. 

"You too, Hannes. How are you? You look good. Better." He nodded and let go of you, the scent of liquor on his breath but no sign of his usual drunkenness. 

"Yea I am. I had a great time with my family, even spoke to someone. Who knew there was a helpline for war vets?" Smiling, you gave him another embrace, happy that he had finally decided to seek assistance even if he really should have known that kind of thing had existed by now. 

"That's fantastic news. You keep calling them, yea? Or come find me. I'm not a professional but I've been told I'm a good listener."

The man spoke a while about the Christmas celebrations he'd shared and asked how your time had been. To sum the last fortnight up would be impossible, so you just said it had been nice and relaxing. Hannes had left for his room, ready to settle in again and you took a deep breath. It had already been an active morning and you wondered what the man you loved was up to. No doubt standing in a plush room, hating every minute. Later you could hopefully relieve his tension and with that thought in mind, you went back inside to fetch a drink, throat sore from all the talking.

As you gulped down water, you were aware of a presence and turned, eyes wide and the bottle placed down instantly. "Hange!" You ran to each other, arms tight in an embrace and you clung on to your friend, love pouring from you. "I have so much to tell you, where to fucking start? God, I've missed you so badly!" She grinned and rubbed your back, gleeful that there was a story to be told. 

"I've missed you too, (F/N)! Now why don't we begin with that item on your wrist?" She leant back and held your arm up, bracelet dangling. Grinning widely, you grabbed her hand and dragged her outside to the garden so you could talk and keep an eye out for any other arrivals.

Sitting on a bench, you pretty much told her everything but you left out the visits to the hospital. That wasn't yours to share. Your actions in the shower had been described to a degree, along with Friday's occurrence but not with great detail, only in the sense that you had to get across what was going on in your head. She took a deep breath, having allowed you to speak without interruption. It had taken everything in her entire being to keep quiet, and now you were finished, her mouth opened. "Ok. Let me see if I've got this right. You and shorty are in love, you might be pregnant, your dad knows Jean's a piece of shit…hang on." Hange grabbed the pack of cigarettes that you had placed on the seat next to you and lit one up. "Right. And you broke into his house, stole the files, found his fucking creepy obsession shed?"

Nodding, you dragged at your own smoke, holding in the urge to laugh at the preposterous couple of weeks you had experienced and she wasn't even done summing up yet. You'd wanted excitement in your life and you sure as hell had it now. "But (F/N), what the fuck? You can't go around trying to fucking kill yourself!"

"I'm not Hange, it's not like that at all."

"So what is it then, because I'm having a hard time understanding? Don't get me wrong, it's fascinating but jesus, it's not healthy. Obviously. Shit. Ignore that bit." You finally let out the giggles you'd been pushing down and she joined in until her next query arose. "What I mean is…oh I don't know. I get that you can't help it but like, how?"

"That's difficult to say, but I'll try. I guess the best way would be that I want to be in control of my own fate, whether that's through my actions or those I've asked someone else to do." Her eyes gleamed from behind her glasses and you were sure you saw them steam up a bit. Moving on to avoid a painful chat on the ins and outs of New Year's Eve, you talked over the small squeak that she emitted. "So anyway, that along with the fact I'm convinced something definitely fucking happened when I was younger makes me think it's all connected. I know all the sneaking out isn't the same but it's a milder version maybe? I don't fucking know."

Your friend pulled you into a hug and held tight, the soft breeze washing over you both to try and provide it's own solace. The two of you stayed like that a while, exchanging unspoken words and Hange finally sat back, any sign of joy gone from her gaze. "Ok (F/N), here's how it goes. I'm going to watch you like a hawk and I'm having words with Mr Grumpy too. No, no, stop." She wouldn't let you argue and placed a finger on your mouth. "Not about that. I don't want my legs broken. I mean that we need to do whatever it is to get to the bottom of this and in the meantime make sure you're safe." It sounded like you wouldn't be left alone for the foreseeable future, but it was only out of love. 

"Thank you, Hange. Nothing's happened for a couple of days though, maybe it's gone?"

The woman shook her head and held your hands in hers, face serious and also slightly manic. "No. I don't think so. Let's just wait and see. I need to witness this first hand." She was basking in the oddity that was your behaviour, interested in the mechanics but not to the point that she would risk your safety. Your friend was as crazy as they came but also as loyal, so you found nothing offensive about her wish to see one of your episodes. That was probably the best word you were going to find to describe it, and decided to stick with that.

Eventually, she had to get her luggage to her room and would have made you follow, but your dad and Levi had returned just before lunch. Hange greeted them warmly and took the dark haired man to one side as you chatted to your father, still annoyed at him for keeping things from you but it was hard to hold a grudge when you knew it must be important for him to do so. You were aware of some nods from the two who spoke close by and then you were beckoned over. The women swapped places, your friend getting her claws into the older man and a dark set of eyes looked at you closely. "I'm on the sodding gate soon, make sure you stick with that freak ok?" Nodding, you agreed at least to try as life couldn't keep you together at all times. Then he decided to broach another subject for the first time in over a week. "Any sign?" The sullen expression he received told him that no, your frequent trips to the bathroom were in vain still. "Don't worry. Right, I've got to go shower the stink of fucking politics off my skin."

Hange had unpacked and the two of you were back in the kitchen, chatting to other workers and generally soaking up the atmosphere. It was fabulous to be surrounded by your friends again but it also meant a certain amount of discretion would be needed - no more running across the grounds for a hug, no more cooking undisturbed together. The reunion had a sting it's tail and you wondered when you would ever get to spend time like that again as a couple. An elbow in your side woke you from the depressing thought, your friend's face close and full of sympathy. "You've had good fun, haven't you (F/N)? All weirdness aside." Nodding slowly, you looked into her eyes, sadness evident in your own gaze. 

"Hange, I love you guys and I missed you dearly. It's just the little things I guess. Unchecked behaviour. I don't want to let it go."

A hand patted your knee and you both got up, room needed for the kitchen staff to prepare lunch. At her floor, she smiled. "I've got to have a bath, I smell of airports."

"I'll leave you in peace."

"No I need to keep an eye on you. You're on suicide watch, young lady."

"Shut up Hange. Anyway, I'm not getting in the bath with you so what are you going to be able to do? And I'm fine. Honestly. Nothing's happened in days."

"Alright, at least let me make sure you get up to your room?" If it placated her, why not, so you allowed yourself to be escorted up the small flight of stairs. Once inside, she scanned the room, initially looking for any kind of hidden weaponry or something stupid like that but you watched her calculated eye soften. "Oh (F/N)." Frowning, you stared at the woman for an answer and she smiled. "You guys are just the cutest." It was normal to you now, but you supposed to anyone else it was obvious that two people lived here for the most part, distinct assortments of belongings. She was actually looking at the floor and you saw what was being referred to. Your gym shoes sat on a small mat inside the door next to a larger pair. A cliche perhaps, but also a sign of your relationship.

In a grumble that would rival Levi, you scowled and spoke quietly. "Fuck off. We're not cute." You started to blush against your will and she squealed, fingers pinching your red cheeks. 

"Whatever you say. Now stay put, I'll be back soon." Leaving you with a kiss, Hange bounced away and you shut the bedroom door quickly. Gazing around the space that was home, you sighed at the fact that although it would be shared again tonight, things might become difficult. But then why hide? Although you hadn't heard from Jean, you could tell anyone who wanted to know that it was over and carry on with your lives. Perhaps not such a great idea though. All attention would be on you both and although you could tolerate it, surely it would result in unwanted invasions of privacy. With nothing better to do, you turned on the TV and settled down for another instalment of crimes solved by miniscule fibres, shoes kicked off and body stretched out on the sofa.

It was the standard story and you watched lazily as you lit a cigarette, reconstructed scene of the attack being played out by terrible actors. The man who portrayed the victim had a hypothetical and awfully scripted argument with his assailant, resulting in what looked like a baseball bat to the shin. It made you flinch, a realisation of how you knew that kind of pain standing out in your mind as bright as the glare from the sun on a summer's day. Instinctively, you grabbed your lower leg that seemed to be throbbing despite no physical assault and a splinter of clarity shot through your being. With urgency, you pulled your jeans up from the ankles, fully expecting to see some kind of bruising there but of course, there was none.

What you did see, however, was a tiny suggestion of a scar. It was so faint, so unnoticeable that it had never drawn your attention before. You weren't in the habit of spending hours staring at your skin for marks and even if you were, this could easily be passed off as a pigmentation blemish or some kind of temporary indentation from the seams of your clothing. Neither were true, of that you were sure and with a shaking hand you traced the small line. That boy in the room had done it. Without doubt. Grabbing your phone, you leapt up to the window and stretched round so you could see Levi on the gate. As you dialled, he fumbled for his own device and fished it out of his back pocket, answering instantly.

"What's happened?" It was a bit odd to be fair, calling him from not very far away.

"I remembered something else."

"Go on." You explained what had just fought it's way into your conscious mind in short bursts of information. It was quite difficult to describe what was so vivid yet tenuous. He remained quiet and still, then turned to look up at where he knew you would be standing. "Why aren't you with Hange?"

"She's in the bath."

"Ah. Good enough reason. At least she fucking washes, though. I had my doubts before."

"Don't be mean."

"She had the same stain on her trousers for weeks once (F/N). Shit." A car was approaching and he left the call, advising you he'd be up after someone came to relieve him. The new arrival was a cab and the sky scraper of a man that was Bertolt climbed out. How he fitted in the small vehicle was beyond you and the two men shared a quick handshake before fetching luggage from the back. They spoke briefly and the confused looking security guard trailed up towards the house, head tilted slightly forward so he looked out from under his strangely timid eyebrows. All these people had just been home, back to your fatherland and you felt a rare pull of regret at the thought. You wondered what it was like there, covered in snow perhaps, or just rainy; either way, a far cry from the clement day that graced you here. Sighing, you returned to your programme and absent mindedly ran your fingers over your shin.

Not long after, Hange burst in. At least she tried to; the lock had prevented her entry and all she succeeded in doing was colliding with the door. "Ow! Still shutting yourself in, then?" You shot across to let her through, muttering apologies about how you'd instinctively used the bolt. "Not a good idea, (F/N). I need to get in if I have to." A noise came from somewhere deep within her and she grinned. "My stomach says its lunch o'clock. C'mon." You'd met Levi on the way and the older woman linked arms with you both, placing herself in the middle with a tight hold. He could have gotten free easily, but just tutted and let it happen with no idea why. Maybe it was to make you happy?

The trio entered the kitchen in what looked like some kind of crazy chorus line and the staff looked up with smiles. "How did you manage to get yourself caught, Levi?" said Hannes playfully, his expert movements creating incredible looking sandwiches. The man in question just shook his head and broke away, standing a step behind the women as they picked their food from the counter. Once more, he would most likely grab something later, going back into reclusive mode. The small dining area was full apart from space on one table. Your father was chatting with his employees and friends, hearty laugh bellowing through the room, no sign of anything untoward that was going on with his daughter. He was good at that, had to be. Diplomacy would not allow personal issues and he was able to cover his emotions well from most people, but you saw the look in his eyes when he glanced up with what would usually be a warm smile.

Waving, you tried to seem like the picture of stability and leant over to Hange. "Only place is with Mike. Want us to leave you two alone?" She grinned but shook her head. 

"Nah I think I'm over him. Been dreaming about Bertolt all holiday. If he's that tall then it stands to reason that…" You cut her off with a hand on her arm.   
"Doesn't necessarily work that way." Not sure why you'd said it, you watched her grin widen and shot her a knowing look.

Oblivious to the exchange, Levi sat next to the blonde security guard and nodded, looking around with boredom and arranging himself on the chair, left leg over the other, tea in hand and newspaper on the table. The other man got close, smirk on his lips. "So, good couple of weeks?" Grey eyes turned slowly to meet the mischievous pair that pinned him down. 

"Tch. Shut the fuck up." Mike laughed and straightened, amused by the short, angry bodyguard by his side. Hange and you joined them and started talking happily, sharing stories and descriptions of the weather back home for your benefit.

You took the dishes back to the kitchen but they were snatched from your hands before you could load them away to be cleaned. It all just compounded the truth that you were back to normal, no jobs around the house to get done, no feeling of being useful. Of course, it wouldn't stop you trying or kicking Hannes out of here when you wanted to help or cook something new, but the purpose you had enjoyed for a fortnight had gone. It made you seem a bit like a compliant housewife but that wasn't it. You hated being waited on and loved the sense of achievement at a job well done.

Levi followed your slumped figure upstairs, Hange having raced off to find her new object of desire. Inside your room you both took off your shoes and got close on the sofa, TV still on from before. "I missed them but I'm going to miss everything else too." The man by your side nodded at your admittance and pulled you in for a hug, holding tight as the sounds of many other humans filtered through the open window. A finger pointed over with an instruction that was delivered quietly. 

"Close it." You did as ordered and turned to see him standing by the bed, silver eyes soft and his hand out. With a smile you took it, Levi tugging you towards him and two mouths connected in a gentle embrace, touches strong yet still soft.

It was the most tender moment either person had ever experienced, a serenity that sent flashes of electricity through you both, bodies alight and tingling with intense love. He felt his chest turn into a million spinning sparks of adoration and moaned contentedly as your tongues stroked lightly together with care and devotion. Your feet seemed like they were floating off the floor, soul lifted and slowly you began to undress one another, savouring the languid pace and appreciating each other's forms with smiles and bright eyes. "I won't let this change anything, (F/N)," whispered Levi as he watched you drop the last of his clothing to the floor, hands trailing over your exposed flesh. "Let people fucking talk. I don't give a shit." Breathing deeply you returned to the kiss as you were lowered gently down onto the bed.

~~~~~~

The two hours of the security man's free time had been spent wisely, every minute together all the more precious now that work was back to normal. Despite him being your personal protection, Levi also had other things to attend to such as escorting staff to purchase provisions and now that Erwin would be leaving soon, it fell to your lover to oversee your father's trips. Right now he would be on perimeter, Mike on the gate as extra men would be dotted around given the increased activity today. Almost ready to go, he looked down into the (e/c) eyes that entranced him and felt a shiver race through his body at the unusually benevolent sex that had been shared. "Fucking beautiful." His voice was murmured as he ran his touch across your face, a smile greeting his reverence. "Hang on."

He moved to the wardrobe and pulled something out from the back, an item you'd not seen before. Your man had a small smirk when he passed it over and left you with a kiss and an explanation. "Something to pass the time." The door closed and you looked down at the book in your hands, black cover giving no clues to the contents. It was relatively thin but well read and you sat on the bed, damp hair sticking to your neck. Earlier you had concluded that Hange would most likely be back up around half three after she finished what she had to do, meaning you would be alone for only another thirty minutes. It seemed a bit excessive to have a constant watcher, but when you and Levi had discussed your flashback after showering, he had looked concerned so you allowed the act of protection.

Opening the book, you saw it must be the one he had told you of before and you gazed at the pages. The title one was missing so you couldn't tell what it was called or who wrote it, but judging by the condition of the novel, the author may very well have been dead and gone by now. It certainly was what you had thought initially, but not anything like the romance novels that seemed so popular. This was pretty hardcore from the few words your wide eyes traced over and you started from the beginning, wanting to pay close attention to the slice of his life that Levi had let you into.

Time passed all too quickly and just as you were getting to a part involving a form of rough restraining that caused a spark between your legs, a knock sounded at the door. Growling, you shoved the book under your pillow and flung the offending item open to glare at Hange. "Whatcha doing?" She swept in, eyes scanning the room as she skipped around. 

"I was resting. I honestly don't need surveillance you know." The frustration in your tone was clear and you mentally checked yourself, not wanting to offend your friend. Hange didn't even notice and chatted incessantly about Bertolt.

"He's sweet in a kind of 'rabbit in the headlights' way, you know? Bless him, looks so scared. I'll man him up, don't you worry." Your attention was all on her now and the two of you sat on the sofa like a couple of gossiping teenagers.

"How do you plan to do that?"

"Not sure yet. I'll think of something. Maybe I'll ask him to teach me how to use his gun?"

"Hange, I don't think you in charge of a firearm is a sensible idea. Can you imagine how many people you'd mortally wound? Probably even your fucking self!"

"Not if he taught me right, (F/N). Imagine him standing behind, arms around my body…."

"Erm, no thanks! And you don't need to be shooting bullets to get in that position you know."

You'd lost her. Hange's eyes were far away and dreamy, caught up in the fantasy. Another bang at your door brought her out of it and once more you opened up to see who was disturbing the two women. "Can I borrow her please, (F/N)? I need a hand with some correspondence." Your father looked sheepish. He excelled at talking to people, persuading and influencing, but he was shit at writing. His letters all ended up being three pages long when they could just as easily have been one. 

"Sure dad, have you been saving it all up for her again?" He winked, confirming your beliefs. 

"Don't worry, you can catch up soon." The woman left you with a serious look that meant 'stay out of trouble' and you slapped her ass on the way out when your dad wasn't looking.

Twenty minutes later and you were reading fast, eating up the words on yellowed pages. It hadn't been written with either gender as the target audience apparently, arousing for both men and women and you got to the part you'd been waiting for. The part that had inspired Levi. It was instructive and descriptive but also filthy and such a turn on. You wondered if it was his intention to wind you up into a mess of sexual tension so you would explode when he got back in a couple of hours, but the thought was dim in your mind as one of the protagonists of the story carried out the dangerous move on his partner's throat.

Some might be ashamed to read this kind of thing, or would be horrified that their other half did but you found it incredibly stimulating to think about. It wasn't the first erotica you'd read, you were only human after all, as was he and now this was something you shared. What might be regarded by others as a smut filled novel that crossed quite a few lines had now become a connection between the new couple. Not that you were going to suggest trying everything in the short story, that would be far too much like a script, but it did give you some ideas.

You had no clue how long you'd been reading for, but your eyes stung as you desperately wanted to get to the end. There was an intricate story line in here too, not just porn for the sake of porn and it was a rather romantic one deep down. Currently, the main characters were having a blazing row, one that would surely culminate in some exciting way and with an open mouth you rushed through the words, aware of how few pages remained. It was a shame that the information on the author was missing as you would have liked to take a look into them, do an online search to find out what kind of person they were, get an insight into the mind that came up with all of this.

It didn't make the novel any less enjoyable by not knowing, but your curiosity was gnawing away in your brain. Maybe a search of the character's names would do it and with that thought you started to concentrate again, gazing down and kneeling on the bed. It looked like you held a prayer book and were deep in religious reflection. How true the opposite was, eyes hungrily taking in the anticipated scene that followed the argument.

Mike stood out by the gate, slightly aggravated at working so soon after his return but the few stragglers that were still seeping through made it bearable. Colleagues and friends were greeted as chats were held about the previous two weeks and he had begun to relax. Right now a familiar form approached on foot, wide smile in place as the person nodded in faint recognition. As he passed, the security guard saw the grin falter and smelt danger wafting by. Watching closely, Mike saw the body almost stalk to the side door with a mission in mind. Standing still, the blonde sentry weighed up his options. Mr (L/N) certainly thought highly of the guy, inviting him to all the important events, but he himself had his reservations. The way he'd acted on your last night together as a household, the fact that Levi certainly stank of sex and (F/N) but also something else purer. Maybe the major had found out about it?

Mike eventually made a decision, hoping it was the right one but also praying he hadn't waited too long. Walkie talkie in hand, he turned the dial and pressed the button down to speak to the three permanent members of security on a private channel. "Jean walked in. Looks pissed. Anything I should know?" In seconds an urgent voice came through, that of the dark haired man.

"When? Where did he fucking go?"

"About ten minutes ago. Side door."

"Stay at the gate. I'm on my way up." That was Erwin. Despite his packing for the trip home, he was always sure to have his earpiece with him. The other voice hadn't spoken again and Mike saw a flash as pale arms nearly ripped the door from it's hinges, Levi flying upstairs. Fuck. Left it too long.

Ten minutes previously and you had nearly come to the end of the novel already, the loving yet often violent relationship of the fictional couple being brought to a close. It was a case of wondering whether they would succumb to conformity and marry, or run away to be together. This point alone made you positive this was written a while ago and you turned the last page to find out their fate, heart racing and breath held in your throat.

The book fell from your hands as a crash signalled your door being thrown open. Even if you'd used the lock it would have surely been useless against the person who wanted entry. In a split second you were on your feet and ready to go as the self absorbed face of your now completely ex boyfriend glared across the room, fists clenched by his side. You'd trained for this. You were strong. Calm. Using steady breaths you quickly became focussed on the here and now and tilted your head, waiting to hear what he had to say.

Jean, however, had not come here to talk much. All he was in this room for was to cause damage and pain and he pushed the door shut, locking it with a grim expression. "You're going to pay for stealing my things, (F/N). I'm going to make you beg for death." Bold words, you thought, fully aware that he had no idea how far you had come in training. 

"Alright Jean, whatever you say. Do your fucking worst." With a snarl he came close and raised a fist, swinging without precision, rage taking him over. It allowed you to block it easily and land a punch to his stomach, the surprised noise from his mouth making you feel ten times stronger. Both of you fought and what was probably not long at all felt like an hour. Any attempt he made to grab out and restrain you was futile as his arms were assaulted every time and most tries at hitting the woman who he hated so much were blocked. That was until he saw red.

You had been relatively unscathed, a few painful blows on your face and body but nothing incapacitating. Jean was panting, exertion on his features but you stayed collected, concentrating on what you'd learnt. Something flickered across his face and a feral growl came from within as he thought about all of the time he had wasted on you and your father that was now probably all for nothing, his selfish goals destroyed and hopes crushed. What happened next was something you tried to defend, but you hadn't been prepared for just how intensely pissed off he was. Both of his hands were around your neck in a second and you tried to drag his arms away, clawing and digging your nails into the flesh. Any kicks you gave to him were ignored and when you tried to raise a knee to get him square in the balls, he pushed you backwards against the table and disrupted your balance.

"You're a disgrace (F/N). A filthy woman who has nothing but her father's wealth." His grip tightened and the maniacal grin on his face loomed close as your mind began to fog, hands still trying to grab at him but in slower more lazy actions. He was speaking again but you couldn't hear him, ears filled with a slowing pulse of blood and Jean's figure started to blur, the room turing black. And that's when it happened. Like a switch was flicked somewhere within, you had a singular clarity - you weren't in control and you most certainly hadn't asked for this. It wasn't going to be allowed again, no one was to have this kind of command over you without your permission. The image of the boy from your dreams and now reality flashed through your mind and you snapped.

Jean saw a strange flicker in what should have been dying eyes and faltered, a move that would prove fatal. With unrivalled strength that came from a place you were unaware existed, the man was thrown from your body and pushed to the floor in a second and you dropped down on top of the now shocked looking piece of shit. A faint memory tried to surface but all that came through was the fact that this was familiar as you started to punch his annoying fucking face, landing blows on the cunt that had put you through hell, used you for his own career and made you physically sick.

Levi cursed himself for not alerting the other guards to the fact that Jean shouldn't be allowed in whenever he wanted and took the stairs two at a time. If that prick had hurt you it would be the last thing he'd ever do. As your lover ran down the hall he was met by Erwin and your father, both having been together at the time of Mike's radio call and Hange was fast approaching from the other direction, calling out with fear. "I heard a bang, what's going on?" The dark haired man tried the handle but found it locked and took a step back, nothing but the need to protect on his mind and he lifted a powerful leg to kick the door in. Wood splintered slightly and for a second the four spectators couldn't move.

What they saw was the usually kind and mild woman sitting on a man that was much bigger, punching relentlessly with a look of blank serenity on her face. Levi saw the blood on your hands and moved quickly, pulling you up with ease as you had no idea what was going on and therefore didn't fight back. He wrapped his arms around you from behind, holding your limbs to your sides with his grip as you still had raised fists and he spoke gently in your ear. "It's ok, it's me, it's Levi. (F/N) can you hear me? It's over." He felt you relax and your arms dropped but he kept his hold on you.

The fog cleared, allowing you to see what had happened. Jean's face was bloodied to match your hands and he lay on his back, gasping for breath. It wasn't the first time you'd seen something like this and your mind was pulled between plains of existence, the here and now and whatever may have occurred in the past. Arms were around you and a soothing voice in your ear as you watched Erwin squat beside the prone man and start to talk. "Get up. Now." The major did as ordered and stood, looking over at the woman who seemed to be restrained by the pale man, her breaths heavy and almost growling. He felt a bit dizzy but more than anything he was embarrassed at being taken down by this stupid female.

The head of security fetched a cloth from the bathroom and threw it at the major, implying he should clean up his face. Wiping carefully, he used the mirror in here that was usually for make up and hair to ensure most of the blood was removed and saw his puffy eye and broken skin. While he sorted himself out you just stared, still unclear on how or when you had inflicted that upon him. There was a dull pain in your body, mainly knuckles and ribs and a murmur in your ear tried to bring you back to the present. "(F/N)? (F/N)?" Slowly turning in the now gentle grip you faced Levi with shock in your eyes and he pulled you into him, taking care to hold you gently. The major wasn't the only one with injuries.

"I'll get rid of this fucker." Erwin sounded fierce, dark voice snarling as he grabbed Jean's arm to lead him away. He hadn't wanted blood dripping through the halls, so had allowed the guy a minute to clean up. 

"Wait." The smaller man made him stop and he complied, the whole room watching Levi stalk towards the light haired bastard. He spoke quietly but in a tone that oozed murder. "I see you again, I will kill you. So much as fucking look at her and I will kill you. Understand?" He meant it and without stopping for a response, a strong arm swung round with malice, fist crashing into the already swollen face of the major. Jean stumbled backwards with a cry but looked down at his shoes, not wanting to meet the angry gazes of you or your bodyguard. "Been fucking waiting ages to do that. Very satisfying." Erwin pulled your blackmailer out of the room before anyone else could get involved, or before Levi lost it completely. His parting words had been growled with an intent the blonde had heard on a few occasions and he knew what that voice meant.

Shocked gasps sounded out as Jean was dragged across the grounds towards the gate, face smashed up and knuckles red. The small crowd in the gardens watched Erwin throw who they thought was your boyfriend to the gravel drive beyond the boundary, confusion mixing in with excited chatter. Mike joined his friend and they stared down, warning made clear by the senior guard. "Piss off and stay away. Next time I won't be so lenient." The man scrabbled up and ran with unsteady legs away from the mad house.

Upstairs you had been led through to the bathroom, Levi running the water in the sink for you to wash your hands. Blood ran down the plug hole in swirls and you just gaped, still in a daze. Slowly, you lifted your head and caught sight of your face. It wasn't anywhere near as bad as Jean's but your lip was cut and the shadows of some eventual bruises were shining out. Your father and Hange had only been able to stand and stare up until now but soon three people were sitting you down on the sofa, expressions grim and full of concern. Images spun through your mind and reality was blurred but you were aware of a conversation and the woman ran off to get something. Two men crouched before you and words were exchanged but you couldn't make them out.

Hange returned and started to clean your face with something cold and wet and you just let it happen, no resistance or recognition offered. Your dad sighed and spoke to your friend. "Be a dear and stick the kettle on. Make some tea. I'll come down and get it soon." With wide eyes she nodded and squeezed your leg in a show of worry, rushing away once more. She shut the door and noticed the lock that was slightly broken from the assault carried out on it and made a note to get the handyman up to fix it later.

Hands resting on your knees made you look up, eyes focussing finally as Levi's voice anchored you into this world. "Your dad's talking to you." Sliding your gaze to the other man in the room, you saw dark features as he addressed his daughter. 

"I need to tell you everything."


	18. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading and the lovely comments so far, hope you enjoy this next chapter :)

Levi was next to you on the sofa now, arm gently around your bruised body and thumb of the other hand stroking softly across your swollen red knuckles. Your father sat carefully on the coffee table in front of the couple, ready to tell you what he hoped to never have to say. The way he had seen you nearly beat a man to a pulp meant that keeping this in the past was impossible and he knew he had to get this done, both for your sanity and protection. Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly and began, holding nothing back.

"Your mother and I were always busy with work and mostly the nanny took care of you. Remember her?" Nodding, you recalled the friendly plump lady that played with you endlessly but also kept you in check. "I want you to know that we all had no idea what was going on, (F/N). Just keep that in mind." He looked down and with a thumping heart, the gates of his worried mind opened.

"It wasn't always just you at home. You used to have a brother, Uli." It shocked you but also made some kind of sense in your confused memory, so you stayed silent. "He was older by six years, always a tearaway child getting into trouble. We put it down to boisterous boyish actions and nanny had never mentioned any major issues. You were the quiet, clumsy one of the pair, bumps and bruises a regular occurrence in your play but you always seemed happy." Pausing to compose himself, your dad collected his thoughts and continued. "One day we came home early to surprise you, intending on taking you both out for dinner. Burger and chips, that's what we were going to get." A small laugh escaped his lips which disappeared as the next part of the story was revealed.

"We had a basement where I kept some things, tools and a wood work table. Never used them, but it was the kind of stuff you always needed when you didn't have it, so I just left them down there. When we got home, no one could find either child. Nanny had been busy in the kitchen and you both often went off together so she thought nothing of it. A five year old and an eleven year old couldn't get up to too much mischief, we thought. We tracked you down to the cellar." Again, he stopped and you realised you were gripping onto Levi's hand tightly, the gesture reciprocated strongly. "I'm so sorry (F/N). We didn't know, we weren't around enough. Shit." The man fought back tears and spoke quickly, getting it all out.

"It had been going on for over a year apparently. Uli would tease you all the time, that's what older brothers do, but he also did something else. What we saw when we opened that door will never leave me, (F/N). You were standing over him with bloody hands, just like how you were with Jean now, but you were five. Only five." Shaking his head, the older man meant to carry on but your meek voice whispered out. 

"I killed him?" He held your gaze but continued the motion. 

"No, (F/N). Nearly did though. If we hadn't stopped it, there is no doubt you would have done. After that, we somehow managed to keep calm and looked around the room. All of my tools were scattered and a plank of wood lay on the floor with blood on it. Your blood. We got the full story from Uli there and then. He grinned the whole time he was explaining."

This next part was going to be hard and he passed over the packet of cigarettes that lay on the table, all three of you lighting up with noticeably trembling hands. "For months he had taken you somewhere private, pretty much daily and…and…tortured you. Mentally at first, breaking your impressionable mind down so you would do anything he said. It looked like sisterly adoration to all of us but in reality it was brain washing." Dragging deeply on the smoke, your father saw tears spilling down his daughter's face and let out a shaky breath, his own eyes wet. "Then he told us he moved onto physical, making you totally compliant. Hair pulling and pinches to begin with, but Uli said he got bored so started to use things, always careful to make sure you knew the cover story. A trip on a loose paving slab, bump on the head from falling, that kind of thing. He was so calculated, it was terrifying."

"The last thing he did before you snapped was smack you over and over with the wooden plank so hard around the shin that the skin was torn open." His tears were falling heavily now but he kept talking. "He enjoyed it. There was no motive other than to mess with you and it was like being spoken to by a stranger. The only option was to have him committed. Sent him to a home for troubled boys. They schooled him and tried to mend his broken mind but it didn't work. He just found another person to torment. Eventually the other boy snapped too but instead he took his own life. My son was responsible and he loved it." The hatred was clear in his voice along with regret and he pushed through the fear and guilt.

"Not long after, something happened. They went for a trip to the country, hill climbing and fresh air, all the wholesome things young boys should do. There was white water rafting but they weren't allowed to participate, for obvious reasons." Your father stopped, an expression of mild disbelief on his face. "The staff were shockingly inept and no one did a thing when Uli jumped into the river. The currents were so strong that his body was never found, but there was no way he could have survived in that water. And he'd left a note back at the home, telling us that he wasn't sorry in the slightest but there was a voice that insisted he had to die. So he listened and did as it said."

This was a lot to be taken in and he did worry about what this might do to you, but it had to be brought to a conclusion. "After he left for the home, you talked less and less and kept placing yourself in situations. I caught you with your finger in the plug socket once and you just shrugged and said you wanted to know what would happen. Another time you let yourself slip from a tree branch and hit the large trunk on the way down. Again, you wanted to see what it felt like."

You touched the scar on your hand and your father shook his head sadly. "No, that's just what I told you when you asked one day. That was Uli, apparently." Pulling your fingers back quickly, you shivered and continued to listen to what was all beginning to make sense. "We took you to a psychiatrist, but you wouldn't say anything and by the time you were nearly seven you walked around in a daze all the time, lifeless. One day you casually asked nanny to push you downstairs while I was standing there and that was it. I begged you to talk to me or the doctor, anyone and you said something I will never forget." He lit another cigarette and spoke the words that had been in his mind again recently. "You said, 'I'm not Uli's toy anymore. I'm in control now. So push me.' It almost destroyed me, (F/N). That tiny voice asking me to shove your small body down the wooden staircase."

Pausing for a moment, he looked at you with pleading eyes and saw the sorrow on your face, but pressed onwards. "After that day you changed, no more dangerous behaviour at least but you also became introverted. For almost six months you hardly spoke. I only heard your sweet voice about eight times in half a year and you did basically nothing but stare out the window. Until one day when you came bouncing downstairs like nothing had happened, the past couple of years forgotten. The doctor said you'd most likely suppressed the memories, your way of dealing with the trauma so we never spoke of it again."

It was silent in the room and you heard the laughter of some women outside. You couldn't speak. It was impossible to say anything after all of that so you just sat still and Levi took up the conversation. "Jean was blackmailing her. Fucking idiot brought this out again, didn't he? Making her not in control anymore? I'll kill him." Your father shook his head and warned his daughter's partner. 

"No, Levi. Leave that be. He's gone now. Does he still have anything on (F/N)?" The man confirmed it had been dealt with and your dad spoke once more. "I should go. Let you take some time to go through all of this. If you have anything you want to ask, day or night, you come and find me (F/N). I'm sorry." He stood and placed a kiss on your tear stained cheek and left.

Levi had enough experience in dealing with tormented minds so let the woman he loved know what would happen now. "Whatever you need to do, (F/N). Talk, scream, shout, cry, spar. Anything. I'll be here." His shirt had blood on it from where he'd held you tightly after your fight with Jean and you stared. 

"Thank you. Change your top." It wasn't an order or said with malice, more of an attempt to alleviate any fear he might have had at leaving you momentarily while he took care of his dirty clothes. He grabbed the opportunity gratefully and pulled the item off, new t-shirt in place quickly as he joined you on the sofa again. "Levi?" Your eyes were heavy and brain soaked in a million thoughts as you met a steely gaze. "If Hange comes back up, can you tell her everything? I want to sleep now. Is that ok?" You sounded mild, body and mind weak and spent. 

"Of course. You don't need to fucking ask, idiot." A small smile crossed your lips at his standard kind of response and you curled up on the sofa, head on his lap.

He placed his arm over your body and held you close, hearing your almost instant change in breathing. You must have been exhausted and he sighed. It was a lot to take in and he started to try and process it all himself. A small knock tapped on the door and he softly called out to whoever it was. Erwin and Hange appeared, cups of tea in their hands. 

"Can we come in?" Levi nodded at the woman's request and the drinks were set down as the two looked at your slumbering form.

"She ok?" Erwin's voice was gentle and he had his suitcase with him, ready to go.

"Not sure. What happened with that fucking asshole?"

"Threw him out. Doubt we'll see him again."

"Too fucking right."

"I have to get going. You take care of her, yea? And yourself. I'll bring you back a present."

"Fuck off."

"Goodbye to you too, Levi." The large man smiled and gave Hange a kiss on the cheek before leaving, a strong squeeze on the shoulder of his friend who currently couldn't move from where he was. He shut the door quietly and left the three alone. Hange sat on the floor and sipped her milky tea, passing the black one to the man. 

"Don't worry, I left it four minutes." Levi tutted but internally thanked the woman for her attentiveness as she spoke again. "What happened?" He sighed and took a drink, warm liquid helping to soothe him as your sleeping body twitched lightly. 

"Just fucking listen. I'm not in the mood for your shitty questions." She sat quietly, proving her ability to stay silent and listened with disbelief as she was given the whole story.

At first she couldn't do anything, mind reeling and then Hange started to cry. Levi was intensely uncomfortable with the whole thing so he concentrated on his cup, watching the steam as she finally gathered herself. "Fucking hell." It was all your friend could manage initially and she looked over to where you lay. "How's she feeling? Did that psycho Jean hurt her?" The man hadn't actually checked you over for any more injuries other than the ones that were evident and shrugged. 

"I'll take a look when she's awake. He'd better have fucking not." The two sat a while and spoke softly before Hange excused herself, leaving the couple alone. Not long after, Levi felt his own eyes drop and again, you napped together.

It was around dinner time when you woke, a strong set of images not leaving you alone. Now that you had been given the whole story it seemed to have opened the door wider and you lay still. Uli. That rat bastard. At least you could now curse him by name and you stared at the blank TV screen as you recalled some of your new found memories. A small knife, garden fork, shovel round the head. Maybe you missed the pain, or the threat of it, a thought that was disturbing. What your brother had done had scarred you deeply and you wondered if it might be a good idea to take your own advice and seek professional help.

"You ok?" The voice made you jump and wince at the pain in your side, body tense from your daydream. Carefully you sat up, aided by Levi and he looked at you with concern. 

"It's all coming back now. That nasty sadistic piece of shit hit me in the head with a spade. Why did I just let him do it? Did I fucking like it?"

"I don't know, (F/N). I can't tell you that, but you were so young and moulded to what he fucking wanted, you would just have done what he said."

"Maybe. I think I might go and see someone though. I need to figure out what this all means for me."

"Certainly a good place to start. Now, what hurts?"

"My side." Levi gently pulled up your top and saw a new bruise forming just under the cup of your bra on the left. The need to go and hunt the son of a bitch down surfaced again but he kept it inside. Jean was gone now.

"I'll get you some dinner."

"I don't think I could, but thank you Levi."

"You've got to fucking eat. No arguments." He stood and kissed you gently on the forehead, leaving to fetch whatever was on offer. His heart ached and he wished he could help you more than he was able to and absent mindedly he rubbed his hands together, itching to clean them. Outside the kitchen he ran into your father, his face strained and sad. 

"Levi. How is she?" Still kneading his fingers together he shrugged, meeting the other gaze. 

"More fucking memories are coming out." The other man nodded. He had expected that might happen. 

"I had to tell her, you know that?" Your bodyguard tipped his head forward slightly to confirm he understood and the two men walked in to get some food.

Before Levi took anything he rushed to the sink and washed his hands, scrubbing between fingers and silently chiding himself. In times of stress this was his thing to cling onto, but he had to try and stop. For your sake. Leaving the busy room, he carefully made his way back up with the large tray, wine bottle tucked under his arm. He set the items down and you sat together, slowly eating and sipping your drinks. The food was nice and you realised how hungry you actually were. "Did you see anyone?" Levi told you of the short meeting downstairs and you nodded, turning to a totally different topic of conversation. "So, I finished the book." You'd read the last short bit while he was getting provisions as something to take your mind off the troubles in your life and wanted to discuss it. You continued as you ate. "Where did you get it?"

"Stole a backpack in a cafe once. Found it in there."

"Read it a lot?"

"Quite a few times. What did you think of it (F/N)?"

"Fucking amazing. Really well written."

"It is. Much better than some of the shit out there."

"Definitely. Levi? Is that the kind of thing you like?"

"Not necessarily. It's escapism. And no, we're not doing it. Well, not all of it." You laughed and he felt lifted, smiling back at his woman in the fading sunlight that filtered through the window, yet again in awe at how accepting you were. He'd been sure you'd like it though and had no reservations about sharing the novel. "I'll run you a bath." Levi didn't wait for confirmation, he knew it would help your aching body. Pouring in blue liquid, he breathed in the sweet scent of the fast forming bubbles and ran his fingers through the water from where he sat on the edge of the tub. You joined him, clothes discarded with a few winces and he turned off the taps, hand out to help you in. He stayed sitting and watched you sink into the soothing pool, eyes shut as most of your body disappeared under the white froth.

"I love you, Levi. Thanks." He splashed some water, droplets spraying your face. Lifting a hand you blew bubbles over and smiled as some landed on his nose making him look hilarious. 

"Fucking brat. Love you too. Now stop messing about and relax." Pouting without any bad feeling, you laid back and sighed. It was incredibly serene, a simple gesture that was helping to ease the dark cloud that had hung over you since this afternoon. After a while, the water began to get cold and a strong arm assisted you to climb out, a towel wrapped around your form.

Your lover left to pour more wine and take the plates down and you snuggled into the fluffy dark blue item, rubbing it against your skin to dry off. Noticing a tug in your stomach that had actually been bothering you on and off all day, you hung up the towel and shuffled over to the toilet. Looking down at the paper, you grinned. Never before had you been so happy for this moment and with a yelp you jumped up, ignoring the pain in your body and ran to fetch what you needed and got into your pyjamas. When Levi returned he was met by an excited figure that he thought would take ages to recover given your father's revelation. Raised eyebrows asked for an explanation and you quickly let him in on the news. "Well, put it this way. You're not going to be knee deep in shitty nappies anytime soon."

He smiled, but a faint sadness pulled at his heart. Of course it wasn't the right time, but perhaps one day you could be a family. When it was a better moment. "Told you not to fucking worry." You shared a hug and sat down to spend your evening together with one less thing to fret about.

~~~~~~

By Wednesday afternoon you were pissed off, no sign of your elation from the start of the week in sight. All you were left with were annoying cramps and a distinctly snappy outlook. Luckily, you never really had to put up with it for more than a few days though. Levi walked with you through town towards the doctor's surgery, glancing over at the bruise on your face. It wasn't too bad actually as you had managed to defend yourself well. Training would recommence once you felt up to it and your aches had all dulled. Some more memories had surfaced, mainly flashes of abuse but nothing resembling a full recovery of the time you'd blotted out. Hange had been quite upset when you told her that you weren't pregnant as she'd been secretly looking forward to seeing a mini version of the couple, along with having a baby to coo over. She understood why it was bad timing though.

"Want me to come in?" You shook your head, trying to be strong but also not wanting to burden him with everything. It was only a preliminary appointment anyway, nothing solid would happen today and you entered the building, checking in at the front desk. The waiting room was pleasant enough, a few books to one side and relatively comfortable chairs. Not many people were here, only two others and they sat coughing quietly. Every single doctor's surgery had coughers. It wouldn't be right without the annoying sound. Each time they cleared their throats you wanted to go over and rip their eyes out, a result of your monthly mood. 

"They need to shut the fuck up." Levi let out a small laugh and squeezed your hand. 

"Calm down (F/N). Keep the inner bitch on a leash." The other patients were treated to your best look of death and you heard a voice over a small tannoy announcing your name.

You felt nervous, not one to want to show weakness or be a bother to anyone but this was what this place was for. A kiss was pressed on your lips briefly and a nod offered in support as you trailed through the corridor to the appropriate room. Knocking gently, you waited for confirmation before entering as you weren't usually fond of storming in uninvited. The man behind the desk was warm looking and smiled as he offered you a seat. "What can I do for you Miss (L/N)?" He set his glasses down and sat back in his chair, face open and ready to listen. You tackled the first and easy issue quickly, instructions given and blood pressure taken, all resulting in a slip of paper being passed to you.

Then you moved onto the more difficult problem. Explaining without too much detail, you told the man about your past trauma and how you'd pushed it all away, the manifestations of being out of control in your life. He nodded with a serious look on his face and tapped at his computer keyboard. "A colleague of mine can help. I'm sure of it. I'll give him a call and pass on your number?" You thanked him sincerely and stood, heartfelt hand shake given in gratitude.

The coughers were gone, so only Levi remained and he jumped up as you appeared. "How did it go?" You shrugged and left the surgery, starting your way back into town. 

"Ok I think. He's going to contact someone who can help. I've got to go to the pharmacy. You need anything at the shops?" He frowned, wondering why you needed to visit the chemist but mumbled something about picking up a package at the local book store. You only had to wait a few minutes for your prescription and strolled out with a smirk, leaving your man scowling with anticipation. "It's the pill, Levi." His own smile was in place as you made the trip to the next shop on your list. 

"Good fucking idea, (F/N)." The recent scare had made you think how many more times there might be an occurrence when passion took over all coherent thought, so this was the sensible course of action.

The parcel was collected, an assortment of new books but none of them steamy like the black leather one that was stashed deep in your wardrobe now. You picked up some cigarettes at the newsagent and grabbed a couple of magazines, the trashy ones that were full of shit but helped pass the time. Sun shone down but not as warm as it had been recently and you enjoyed the sedate walk home, the two of you chatting lightly. You crossed the bridge that the USB stick had been discarded in and smiled again. That chapter of your life had come to an end and hopefully this new uninvited one would be tackled soon. The images still flashed through your mind regularly and you had actually gotten used to it, able to hide it quite well even though it had only been happening this often since Monday.

A noise sounded out and Levi brought his phone from his pocket, glaring down at the number. You noticed his change in demeanour and listened as he answered. Nothing much was forthcoming from his side of the conversation and he hung up after less than a minute, face dark. "Fucking hospital. It's Farlan's assessment on Friday afternoon. Every six months." You held his hand tightly and asked a soft question. 

"Shall I come?" He nodded and grumbled as you started walking again. 

"Please, (F/N). You'll have to wait in the main room though. Only relatives or carers are allowed in for that and I'm fucking both. Well, trying to be." Squeezing your grip, you whispered back. 

"You're doing a fantastic job, Levi. Don't beat yourself up."

Your hands parted as you turned the corner that revealed home and he checked the time on his phone. "I've got nothing else fucking scheduled today at least. Are you going to eat with everyone else this evening?" You'd kind of kept to yourself after Monday's incident, not ready to face the gossip mill just yet and he had been sensitive to your wishes, bringing food upstairs regardless of what people might think. Sighing, you ran your hand through your hair as you approached the main gates, still enjoying the fresh air. It was the first time you'd been out since all of the staff returned two days ago.

"I might do. Got to happen at some point I guess. What the fuck do I say?"

The man by your side considered it as you crossed the quiet grounds, glancing around for no apparent reason. "Just a half truth. You'd split up before Christmas and he didn't fucking like it." It made sense and as you ascended to your room on the second floor, the other question on your mind came out. 

"What if anyone asks about us?" Back home in your shared sanctuary, you locked the now mended door and flopped down on the sofa where you had spent most of your time recently. Levi opened up his parcel and took the new books out, stacking them up on the table, largest at the bottom and two small ones carefully on top. 

"Tell them to fuck off." Laughing, you leant forward to read the titles of his new acquisitions as he shuffled around in a drawer. The big one was historical, a kind of reference book and the others were fiction, thrillers if the names were anything to go by.

As you tried to decide whether to join dinner tonight or not, Levi sat next to you closely, one hand shut in a fist. "I wanted to give you this on Monday, but obviously that wasn't the right fucking time." He uncurled his fingers to reveal his open palm, a tiny item sitting on pale skin. It was a silver charm shaped like a sideways figure of eight and you didn't need to be told what it meant. Infinity. "Even though these shits are all back, it changes nothing about how we are with each other." You clutched his other hand tightly and smiled. 

"Too true, Levi. And thank you. You're spoiling me." He shook his head as he attached the charm to the bracelet you wore every day unless you were training, carefully securing it with deft movements.

"No I'm not. I've never had anyone special to fuss over, apart from Farlan of course but that's not the fucking same. Humour me." You kissed him sweetly as you held one another close, love conveyed in the moment. He pulled back and stroked your hair behind your ear. "How are you?" In honesty, you were starting to come to terms with it a bit and you told him so, adding in the small slices of flashbacks you frequently experienced. Levi listened intently as you described the latest retrieved memory, the one which had scarred your hand. It was a steel nail, a rusty one at that and was bound to a hammer to create a kind of weapon. You remembered that the cover story was as close to the truth as possible, simple for a little child to recount - a loose panel on the shed, metal item sticking out and in your clumsiness you'd caught yourself on it.

Levi tensed and continued his motions on your locks as you spoke, wishing the bastard was still alive so he could have the pleasure of watching him die. "(F/N), you're not on your own through this. I want you to tell me everything you remember, ok? I'm here." Hugging tightly again, you rubbed your hands up and down his muscular back, feeling the power beneath his shirt that betrayed this softer side that you had been let into. 

"I know, thank you. And Levi? Same thing applies. I've noticed your hands are a bit red. I'm a good listener, right?" He sighed. Of course you'd noticed, you were bright and observant even with your preoccupied mind.

"I didn't want to fucking worry you, (F/N)."

"Don't be soft. I'm the person who you can turn to, tell anything without judgement. All I want to do is help."

"I'm trying to keep order in all of this and like the stupid dick I am, this is my way."

"You're not stupid. Can I do anything?"

"Stop me if you see it."

"Ok. I will but don't hold back if it makes you worse, alright? Red hands are better than being on the edge."

"How are you so goddamn understanding?"

"Because I'm fucking awesome. Seriously though, don't push too hard." You didn't want him to suppress his nature as that kind of thing could warp a mind and you drew back from the embrace, concern in your eyes. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Remember (F/N), you're fucking stuck with me." Smiling, you nodded and played with his hair, something that used to infuriate him but now he secretly loved it. He watched your eyes light up as you probably imagined tying the dark strands into some kind of style and held back a laugh behind his hand as he spoke. "Right. You going to dinner?" Taking a deep breath, you nodded. 

"Yup. Got to get it over with. You coming?" He stood and held out an arm for you to take, posture like he was escorting you to a posh meal. 

"Madam." The grin he got in response was worth the ridiculous gesture and he smirked, happy to see your joyous face once more.

At the bottom of the stairs you released the gentlemanly arm and walked to the kitchen to fetch food, heart beating fast at the prospect of being attacked by many curious people. Levi strode in first, burning eyes almost challenging those gathered to speak up. Luckily, service was in full flow so the staff in here had no choice but to just give you a wave or a smile. Hannes grinned over but had a look in his eyes that screamed sympathy. You had no idea how much had been spread around or what had been said, but something had certainly come out of Monday afternoon's incident. Your dad had been busy since then and you hadn't spoken, your reclusive behaviour assisting with that. Hange had been by often to see you, however mentioned nothing of what story was doing the rounds.

Plates in hand, you thanked those in here for the meal and made for the small dining room. This would be trickier and you were glad Levi had decided to eat with you today, despite it being in front of everyone. You needed support right now. Again, he went before you did and almost instantly there was a change. Conversations trailed off, cutlery stopped scraping and now all gazes were on you, the woman who hid behind her bodyguard in a strange pose of uncertain fear. Neither Hange nor your father were here, but Mike and Bertolt were and you spied two seats vacant on their table. The man in front didn't move at first and scowled at the now hushed room, expression dark and dangerous grey orbs glowing with distaste. "What the fuck are you all looking at? Haven't you got some shitty soap opera to talk about or something equally as unintelligent?"

The silence continued but most of the others looked down in shame, aware that they had been cruelly gaping at the female who was always nothing but a sweetheart to the lot of them. Levi marched towards the table in the corner as you scurried along in his wake. Mike smiled and squeezed your arm as you slid in beside him, another act of sympathy. The other security guard nodded but looked away quickly, nothing new there though. He had a faint blush and you began to imagine what Hange might have done. A grumble to your other side snapped you out of it as chats mercifully started up again, quieter and more nervous than before. 

"Fucking bunch of twats." The pale man picked at his food, taking the odd bit here and there with a glare on his face the whole time as he addressed the blonde. "So what's the fucking story out here then?" He knew you wouldn't ask, too polite to pry so he did it for you. Mike pointed around with his fork and spoke softly. 

"There's a few. Main one is that you beat Jean up in some kind of battle for (F/N)'s honour." You choked on your mouthful of dinner and a slap on your back helped you out, Levi once more coming to your aid with your apparent inability to eat or drink properly. He made no mention of it though and responded to the man's words. 

"Fuck sakes. It's like a group of fucking school girls in here." He cast his disgusted gaze around the room, taking in each and every one of the stupid fuckers with a calculated eye. 

"The next favourite is that (F/N) did it because the major was cheating." Mike's revelation made you shake your head, wondering if there was any point in even correcting them.

"So what do you think happened?" He was a bit startled at being asked, especially as you'd seemed to want to keep hidden away until now, but the guard looked over and saw genuine interest on your face. The man shrugged and placed his cutlery down, napkin dabbing at his mouth to make sure nothing had been lodged in his beard. 

"I honestly don't know. All I can tell is he was out for murder that day and you have a nice bruise going on there. Sorry I let him in, (F/N)." You waved his apology away with a knife, not meaning anything threatening by it. 

"It's not your fault Mike. It's his for being a self obsessed piece of shit." It came out a bit too loud and once more it went quiet in the room. You sighed and decided to do some damage control.

Speaking up, you directed your words to all assembled. "Ok, here we go. No, it was not a fight for my hand in marriage or something like that, grow up. What century do you think we're in?" The harsh tone was unusual for you in public but the situation demanded it. Levi watched with a tiny smirk pulling at his lips as you stood, defiance on your face and he felt a wave of pride. "This is the official line I'm about to give you so please listen as I won't repeat myself. Jean was a dirty rotten bastard, only out for himself. He wanted to get close to my father, so he used me for that. When I found out I broke it off but he wouldn't accept it. I'd ruined his plans for world domination, so he came round and tried to beat me." Every breath was held apart from your lover's and he sat back to enjoy the show, arms crossed and a smug smile in place.

"I fought back, fucked him up, end of story. Any questions, please email me and I'll do my best to get back to you within ten working days. Now eat your dinner and stop acting like children." Sitting down heavily, you cursed yourself for the sarcasm and harsh words but it had been needed. The rare display of annoyance in front of a group had manifested from pure exasperation and you stared down at your plate, holding back the urge to now apologise to everyone in the room. Once again, soft conversation started up and you were aware of eyes on you. Turning your head, you met a silver flecked gaze and felt your stomach flip at the look you knew and loved so much.

"Nicely done, (F/N). Next time the countries of the world declare fucking war on each other, maybe we should send you in? Tell them off for misbehaving?" It earned him a kick to the shin, cutlery shaking on the table as he instinctively flinched but he retained his smirk. 

"Thanks Levi. Same thing I said applies to you. Shut up and fucking eat." The growled words were met by Mike's laughter and you watched as your man slowly raised a small bite of dinner to his smug mouth, one eyebrow up with a mischievous expression. 

"Yes ma'am." He got another foot to the leg but held your gaze, seeing the way you fought back your own smile. You felt better, stronger and hoped this was a sign of things to come.


	19. Home Sweet Home

Walking upstairs with a frown, you stashed your phone in the back pocket of your jeans. Marco had been called and tomorrow's lesson postponed until Tuesday as you would be accompanying Levi to the hospital instead. The freckled man was as friendly and good natured as always, fine with your last minute change of plans. To be honest, you weren't sure what to say to him, the image of the outbuilding clear in your mind the whole time. That could be tackled later, you thought and made the slow journey down the hallway to your father's study. The two of you hadn't spoken since Monday and it was time to have the talk you were dreading. Yesterday's outburst during dinner must have reached him though and it could be a good ice breaker. Taking a deep breath, you knocked quietly, allowed entry by a soft voice that sounded tired.

He looked washed out, face withdrawn and paler than usual. Your dad brightened as he saw who the visitor was and he shot up to give you a hug. Any aches you had were fading, just a light buzz of muscle strain that was familiar, experienced every time after training and you held tightly to the older man. "Oh (F/N), I have missed your cuddles so much. How are you, dear?" Leaning back, you smiled and thought how this might not be as strained as first imagined. 

"I'm ok dad. Getting there. More to the point, you look shattered." It wasn't a question but he answered the unasked words. 

"I feel terrible. Both for keeping this all from you but also allowing it to happen in the first place." He didn't let you interject with what would have been a request to not apologise and continued. "But we have to move on, be strong. Any more memories?" You nodded and decided to leave it at that, no need to describe it all to the man who had probably heard it all from Uli already. 

"Yes and I'm going to speak to someone next week." A call had been received earlier from the doctor's colleague confirming an appointment on Wednesday. Hands were placed on your shoulders and a warm smile given. 

"Good. I'm glad. Now, did you want to ask me anything? Tell me something? I'm always here (F/N)." Strangely, you were satisfied with how things were, happy to leave it like this; no point dragging your father's already guilt ridden mind through it all again. 

"No thanks. It's ok." He motioned for you to sit and you took the chair to the left, leaving him to sink down into his own leather seat as he spoke.

"I heard about dinner yesterday."

"Mmm, I thought you might have."

"Sounds quite amusing actually. I'm sorry I missed it. You can't blame them for gossiping though."

"I don't dad. I just had to stop the silly rumours."

"I understand (F/N)." His face became alive with boyish mischief and he smiled. "Something was glaringly omitted though. A certain man in your life?" You grinned and blushed all at the same time, old habits coming out and making you feel like a love sick adolescent while he continued. "How is that all going?"

"Good dad. Really really good."

"I can tell. Despite everything else, you seem happy. He's a good man."

"That he is." Your father stayed smiling at your words, looking into the face of his daughter who had just been through so much but still managed to glow with what he presumed to be love and contentment. Finally, he brought himself out of the daydream and cleared his throat. 

"We have another dinner on Saturday. Will I be escorting you, or shall I leave the pleasure to Levi?" As much as you would like your man by your side, it was certainly not going to be happening this weekend. 

"Dad, he's working. And anyway, all of the attention would be horrific." Regardless of how you were able to mingle and make nice with the politicians and such like, having your relationship brought into play was not an option. This was yours together, not something to be chatted about and the gathered attendees would no doubt have plenty to say about the fact you were dating one of the staff. Such stuck up fuckers, all of them.

"Fair point (F/N). I promise I won't keep him too late for the after dinner chats." It felt a bit weird to have that kind of thing spoken by your father, almost an innuendo for him and you sat up straight before it could get any more uncomfortable and the discussion turned to current events. The man who had been the most recent subject of conversation was right now in town with Hannes on the hunt for the freshest produce and Hange was god knows where but you'd arranged to spend some time with each other later today. Erwin had been in touch to check in and let your dad know he'd gotten home safely. The light chat and impending event of this weekend made everything seem back to normal, like nothing was different to before. And partly, that was just fine by you.

~~~~~~

Just before the lunchtime rush, you sat in your room by the window in deep concentration. It wasn't that the instructions were difficult to follow, but you wanted to ensure you were doing it right. Reading carefully, you saw it was an optimum time to begin and took your first pill with a mouthful of water. No ceremony, no excitement, just one simple swallow and that was it, the beginning of a daily habit. Any signs of your initially celebrated monthly occurrence had gone already, leaving you in peace as usual after only three days. Sighing, you looked around and wondered what to do next. You hadn't seen the two shoppers return yet and now that you had taken your medication, you were decidedly bored. The vacuous magazines had been flicked through and discarded, room tidied and wardrobe neatened. The odd flicker of a memory traced across your mind's eye every now and again but even that was getting tiresome.

You resisted the urge to go streaking across the grounds or climbing the walls just for amusement's sake and instead stayed perfectly still. Flawlessly, your brain had once more dealt with a traumatic situation and pushed it away to a meaningless dot. Something shone out though and your keen imagination was stimulated by some of the nonsense you'd just thought about. Mission now clear, you rose and went to check that it could still be done. Before you left, a spark of duty alerted you and brought a forgotten task to the forefront. In the chemist's yesterday you had picked something up to buy in secret and stashed it, a silly little gift but ultimately intended for good. You placed the small bottle on the wooden chest beside Levi's side of the bed and smiled. Hopefully he would appreciate the gesture and you once more moved to start the fact finding expedition.

Levi stalked the halls, thoroughly pissed at the last two hours of grocery shopping he had to endure with the whiskey soaked chef. How could it take so long to buy fucking food? As he went to open the door to the bedroom, he paused and then turned on his heel. Might as well fetch the rest of his belongings. There was no way in hell he was going back to living alone now that he had tasted partnership and with commanding strides, he climbed to the next floor. Not much remained in here, a few pieces of clothing and a book, some toiletries, pictures in a box that stayed in his drawer. It had been a while since he'd looked through them and decided it might be pleasant to share the snaps with you tonight, shake the Thursday feeling.

Arms full, he quickly returned home and elbowed the door in a knocking motion. Nothing happened so he thumped harder. Still no answer. "Where the fuck is she now?" he grumbled, no real feeling behind his words and he struggled to pull the handle down with his little finger. Finally triumphant, he tapped the entrance open with a foot and closed it behind him using his ass, slamming it harder than intended. He placed his things down on the table and popped his head round the bathroom door. Not in here either. Trying not to worry too much, he presumed his woman was with that crazy freak Hange or something and started to put stuff away.

The cabinet behind the mirror in the bathroom was rammed full of all sorts of lotions and potions, most of them probably never used. His items were carefully lowered into the sink and he brought out each of your bottles one by one, smelling them deeply. The ones you preferred were on the small hanging shelf in the shower cubicle or on the edge of the bath, so these must be surplus as he didn't recognise the scents. It was something he had always noticed, loving the way the light perfume invaded his senses when you were close. A few of these unknown ones were nice and he put his favourites on the shelving unit to prompt you to choose them next time.

It might have seemed stupid or maybe even like some kind of bizarre order, but it most certainly wasn't either of those. Levi couldn't place what it meant but wasted no time on thinking it through. Even though these were all essentially liquid soap, he couldn't help but notice how haphazardly maintained they were, blobs of gel stuck to the outside of the plastic and he struggled against the desire to run his hands under some water.

A happy side result of all this was that there seemed to be enough room now for his things in the cabinet and he smirked at the perhaps subconscious decision to empty out some of the products. Cupboard tidied, he moved to the main room and cast his eyes around. The sculpture sat on the set of drawers at the side of the bed he always occupied and he stood for a moment to appreciate the soft contours of the stone, fingers touching the insanely thoughtful present with a small smile on his lips. It wasn't usual for him to have time alone in here and whilst he missed your company, sometimes a moment of reflection was good for the soul.

He frowned as he spotted something in his peripheral vision, a small bottle with a flip lid that hadn't been there before. The liquid was creamy and he picked it up, words on the label making him feel cared for. Such a simple thing, but he knew why you'd bought it and he tapped it open to squeeze some of the hand sanitizer on his palm. It didn't stink of alcohol like most of these things usually did. Instead, it had a faint scent of fresh linen and as he rubbed the slightly tingly gel in to his hands, he felt better at having just touched the multitude of half used toiletries that had streaks of the contents on the sides. The new item proclaimed to be for sensitive skin, non abrasive and he smiled once more. Yet again, you had done something to help his issues by providing a way to make the habit less destructive instead of trying to force him to stop like others had. Full of love, he placed his new gift in his pocket, happy for the portable sink.

Levi stashed his clothes in the wardrobe which looked incredibly organised and he imagined you'd been bored earlier and sorted this all out. Turning, he began the task of sifting through the dirty laundry, taking care to select only his things as surely a joint load in the machine would just provoke yet another gossip session. The workers had always done their own washing apart from the bed sheets and he suddenly thought about how someone would notice his room was now vacant besides the furniture. Well, he didn't usually have much stuff out anyway and unless they went searching through his empty drawers, it probably wouldn't look much different. Maybe he would leave a book in there for effect.

The box of photos was left on the coffee table and he spied an open packet on the chest by the window seat - your pills, to be precise and one was missing. That pull of ever so faint disappointment tugged at him again but he stowed it away, not allowing it to rise any further than a fleeting thought and he turned to leave and try to hunt his lover down. It didn't take long, three seconds actually as you were approaching when he opened the door. "What the fuck is that?" Levi was staring at your hands with disgust and you suppressed a blush. You knew it would have been a better idea to wash up before you returned and quickly a cover story was given. 

"Just been walking around, found some fallen branches so I gathered them up for the fire wood pile." Smiling sweetly you slipped inside and rushed to clean your dirty hands, the filth on them definitely not from trees.

Something was different in here and you felt a body join you. He wasn't sure what you were up to but it was clear it had nothing to do with your explanation. If it was something untoward though, he was certain you'd tell him as you kept him up to date on any memories or feelings of control loss. The latter hadn't happened since Monday and he'd begun to relax slightly, the need to constantly cleanse himself dwindling as his stress levels reduced. With that in mind, he decided whatever you'd been doing was innocent enough and he would find out sooner or later. "Levi, did you tidy up in here?" A tight hug came from behind as he pressed into you and eyes locked in the reflection of the mirror, his flashing with silver. 

"A bit. Brought my things in. You had so much shit in there I had to move it all around." Elbowing him in the stomach gently, you grinned, elated that he had finally finished the transition from one room to another.

"You fancy getting lunch? I'm starved." He considered the proposition and carefully pulled what looked like a piece of metal paint from your hair, thin black leaf of sharp, all-weather coating that protected things like lead drain pipes and gutters around the exterior of the house. 

"This from your trees too?" He smugly stared at your attempt to remain emotionless and you turned in his embrace, hands now dried and placed on his chest as you answered. 

"Must have fallen off something. It's windy today, shit gets everywhere." Following behind, he felt like he had one up on you as he watched your form trying to look nonchalant as it wiggled down the hall, hips swaying but pace a little faster than usual. He was always able to find out when you were plotting something or up to no good, had been for three years and it wasn't about to stop now.

It was a little breezy like you had said, but pleasant still so you ate together outside on the patio, relatively undisturbed. Levi was recounting his earlier shopping experience, sentences peppered with expletives and words grumbled darkly as he sipped on his tea, eyes scanning the grounds. Whilst he was laying into the chef for taking twenty whole minutes to prod and squeeze avocados, Mike walked past and nodded with a smile on his face. You shot him a look that meant 'shut the fuck up' and he grinned wider, recalling how he'd caught you earlier round the back of the house. If the dark haired man noticed, he made no sign of it and continued his mutters as if the other guard hadn't even existed. But of course he had picked up on it, studied every detail of the incredibly short conversation that had no words. The woman he loved was undoubtedly hatching some kind of master plan and he smiled internally, proud of the fact he was still so scarily sharp minded sometimes, but also intrigued to find out what you were doing.

Hange had eventually broken up the lunch date and joined you, eating with gusto. She'd spent most of her morning helping out in the laundry, table cloths and napkins needing washed and pressed ready for Saturday's gathering and now she was ravenous. "What you up to for the rest of the day?" She made sure to speak with her hand in front of her mouth so her chews couldn't be seen, the next best thing to actually waiting to swallow her food. You shrugged, aware of the other parts of the scheme that needed to be sorted but not about to confess them. 

"Not much. Might read a book. Do some gardening." The bushes out here did look like they needed some attention, so maybe you would sincerely do that later.

Hange turned her stare to Levi who remained gazing into the distance. "Shorty?" He looked round slowly and placed his cup down with a careful hand and a sigh. 

"Town again. These people need to fucking co-ordinate and go all at once. Make a class outing." She laughed and you tried to hold yours in, not wanting to enrage him any more than he was already. "Tch." It was futile and you started to giggle at his disdainful face, a pair of grey eyes snapping round to pin you in place. He decided to mess with his woman, place her in an uncomfortable position and with sadistic glee, he set about making you squirm as he knew you had some kind of other secret task in mind for the afternoon. "If it's that fucking funny, you can come too (F/N)." You faltered and started to stutter.

"N-no it's ok. I…I have things to do."

"Like read a fucking book?"

"The bushes. They need cutting."

"So when I get back they'll all be done, yes? Shaped like a fucking unicorn?" The gardener sometimes did some intricate topiary with the shrubs but had been more occupied with tidying the grounds up since he'd returned.

"Don't be fucking smart. If you're lucky, I'll do one just for you."

"And what would that look like, (F/N)?"

"I don't know Levi. What shape embodies the word 'infuriating', hmm?"

"Maybe your face?"

It was such a childish come back and you started to snort laughter before you could help it, body hitching as tears started to form in your eyes. Levi raised his tea and watched with amusement as you were incapable of keeping it together, giggles from Hange joining in as he stifled a grin. You laid your forehead against his arm and tried to compose yourself, gasping for breath. "Fucking hell Levi, are you twelve?!" The words came out in small bursts between laughs, now in total hysterics over a small comment. It was always the little things that cracked you up. He sat still, lips twitching with the effort of staying stony faced but your hilarity always touched his heart. 

"Jesus (F/N)." Without thinking, he leant down to where you still pressed into his arm and kissed the top of your head, this morning's shampoo filling his senses as he sat back up.

The laughter stopped and slowly you returned to an upright position, eyes wide. Levi didn't move, just kept looking out over the grounds as if nothing had happened. Hange gripped onto the patio table and you thought she might actually explode, face grinning like a deranged killer. There didn't seem to be anyone around but there were many windows and more than enough people that could have been watching. "That. Was. ADORABLE!" The screech from your friend would certainly draw attention and you turned a deep shade of crimson, gaze down and fingers playing with your cutlery. A tut was all he could offer again and stood up, bored stare still taking in the view as he strode off, leaving you to deal with the fallout.

As he walked away, Levi let his smile come out. He might be in for yet another painful trip in ten minutes but your chuckles still rang in his ears, sure to help him through the next hour or so. Ok, so he had a momentary lapse of judgement, but fuck it, shit happens. It was only a matter of time before the four who already knew of your relationship grew to a larger number, a thought that on one hand he couldn't give a shit about but on the other he longed to be left alone, your partnership kept in peace.

Back at the table, Hange was almost salivating and you glared across with dark eyes. "Don't say another fucking word." She shook her head and stared at you with a far away cloud in her orbs, ready to go against your order. 

"But (F/N), oh my god, I can't breathe, you two are so cute I don't even know where to start!" Shushing her you looked around, checking for any eavesdroppers. "Oh behave, you can't hide away for the rest of your life." Your friend was right, but it was a scary prospect and with a sigh you sat back and started to smile. Regardless of the public setting, it had been a wonderfully simple show of affection that made your stomach leap just to think about.

Finally you had shaken Hange as she had to get back to the laundry, leaving you to continue your scavenge. A few items were pilfered, stashed in the bag you had fetched from your room and you snuck around the house. Some people greeted you when you met them, steeling yourself for the inevitable rush of questions and comments on what had gone on outside, but none came and you breathed a sigh of relief when you got back to your floor with your treasures. You hid them in the study, a room you never used. There was a computer in here and books, mainly medical ones and a few novels. More could be done with this space, you thought. Same with the guest quarters that hardly ever got slept in, however then your privacy with Levi would be invaded. Selfish, admittedly, but it was the truth.

Your plan would be put into action tomorrow and it all hinged on two things out of your control - the weather and the trip to the hospital. If either were bad, this could wait. Standing back, you looked over the pile of items, content that you had achieved what you could with the day.

~~~~~~

"Ow, shit, be careful!" Levi shouted a little harsher than perhaps was necessary, but he was deep in the throes of his Thursday darkness and he now regretted offering to help you out. You had managed to throw a heap of clippings his way and currently a twig scraped at his face. Looking up with apology, you smiled weakly and watched him remove the offending sprigs from his being, expression thoroughly pissed off. The scowl he wore was one you were more than used to, elegant eyebrows knotted together and a tiny pout on his soft lips. It was quite cute, yet you wouldn't dare tell him that right now so you listened to him grumble as more foliage was chucked down in anger.

The clippers were a bit old and in need of a good clean, squeaking slightly as you chopped at the remaining bush. True to your word, you had already tackled four of them and now wore the sweaty sheen that came from manual labour, hair wild and full of leaves. To be honest, Levi wasn't actually helping. The only assistance he had provided was to admonish you when you missed a bit or got too shear-happy. Bush number three had been taken back a bit too much and now stood a few inches shorter than the others, the runt of the litter. There was a rake nearby but there was no chance of him touching it so you continued with your work, snipping away.

A few people milled about in the lazy late afternoon slump, house staff done for the day and kitchen workers yet to commence dinner. Hange was absent, her role being a strange one just like her. It was kind of a combination of secretary, agony aunt and all round assistant and if she wasn't with you she always had plenty to do. All of it was taken in her stride though, enjoying buzzing around others and basking in the chats she had. Some glances were thrown in your direction as you shaped the green blob, a couple of laughs when you were reprimanded for over zealous motions. Most of the people here had seen you together for the past few years, acting like a squabbling married couple half the time and mainly thought nothing of it, just par for the course.

One set of eyes knew better though and he watched with a smile. Mike was also part of your plans for tomorrow. Once he'd found you in the midst of your recon mission it was impossible not to let him in on the scheme and besides, he fucking knew about the two of you anyway. Levi looked down as you knelt by the shrub, now unmoving and just staring at the clippers in your hands. You seemed to be in a world of your own, totally enraptured by whatever was going through your mind and his heart froze. With a gentle touch, you slowly ran a finger up the inside of the rusting blade, eyes wider than usual. He instinctively dropped to his knees and placed a hand on your arm, halting your action. "What?" You seemed lucid enough though and he answered your one worded query with another question.

"What were you just thinking about?"

"Nothing really. Just that this needs a good clean or we need some fucking new ones."

"So you weren't…?"

"Eh?"

"Fuck sakes." Levi looked up to the sky and shook his head before fixing you with a stern gaze. "You were fucking stroking that thing, (F/N). I thought you'd gone into your haze again."

"Oh, no, shit no, sorry. That hasn't happened since Monday."

"Good. Now stop daydreaming and clear this fucking mess up." He said it softly, voice the opposite to his harsh words and he thanked everything that might be listening that you hadn't tried to come to any harm. When he had seen your vacant stare, the worst possible scenario was the first thing that came to mind, why the hell wouldn't it? But it was good to know you'd gone for a while without any episodes, a word you had used yourself to describe them on a few occasions. He gave your arm a squeeze and stood back up, brushing at his trousers to rid them of tiny pieces of the massacred shrub. Pulling out the bottle from his pocket, he applied some gel and rubbed it into his hands, realisation hitting that he hadn't said anything to you about it.

"Thanks for this, (F/N)." You grinned up as your fingers gathered the clippings into a pile of dark green. 

"You're welcome. Now, are you going to help me here or what?" Gleaming eyes shone down and he shifted to stand on one hip, the very epitome of calm as raven hair swished when he shook his head. 

"Nah. I much prefer being in charge, a supervisor if you like. And anyway, I just cleaned my fucking hands."

~~~~~~

Dinner was much more peaceful today, no glances your way and you were able to eat in relative serenity. Hange was chattering incessantly about what you could wear on Saturday but you only half listened, mind on other things. One was the way that clouds had started to creep in, fucking up your plans for tomorrow. All you wanted was a clear sky, was that too much to ask? The other thought that rattled around your head was Levi and how damn superior he looked today, sitting casually and scanning the room with disinterest as he twirled his tea round the cup in languid circles. His free arm was leaning on the back of the chair, hand limply hanging down and with a tiny sigh he changed his gaze to meet yours. It was barely perceptible but you picked up on it straight away, a small upward pull at the corner of his lips and a slight raise of a brow. In one simple expression he rendered you incapable, completely at his command.

You finished your food quickly but politely and set the knife and fork down together on the plate, a sign that this meal was over and sent strong signals to the man opposite that you were done, time to leave. Now. Shuffling around, you made movements that signified you were about to get up but infuriatingly, Levi remained still. "In a hurry, (F/N)?" So, he wants to play? I can play too, you thought, getting comfortable again. 

"Not at all. Was thinking about having some dessert, actually. Anyone else?" Hange nodded, mouth still full and you stood and stretched, drawing out the action with exaggeration, arms above your head so your top rode up ever so slightly to reveal the soft flesh of your stomach. The flash of silver that met your gaze told you it was working and you smiled, a sweet and innocent face plastered onto your features. "Levi? Anything you want?" His lip curled into something between a sneer and what looked like animal desire, fully aware that you were not referring to dessert. 

"What's on offer?" You shrugged at the growled query and stared down at your fingernails, pretending to be studying them as if to decide what colour to paint them on Saturday as you replied. 

"Oh, I don't know. Probably something over indulgent, far too naughty." The sound of cutlery crashed out as Hange threw her fork down and whispered aggressively. 

"Can you stop flirting and just go get my goddamn cake, (F/N)." With a laugh to her and a wink to Levi, you skipped off to the kitchen, empty dinner dishes in your hands.

The evening wore on and almost everyone else had left, only a couple of people remaining to clear up the dining room. You sipped at wine as you stared across the table, never breaking eye contact. It was like a battle of wills now, neither of you prepared to back down and admit you were the most insatiable of the two. Levi leant forward, chin in hand as he placed his elbow on the table to look over like you were a caged animal. It was a gesture that never failed to make your skin tingle and body feel like it was floating, but you kept it inside and concentrated on the fact that he gazed at you with such obvious want. Before you could smugly point this out, an apologetic voice asked if you wouldn't mind moving on somewhere else as the floor needed mopping, ending the couple's playful exchange.

You gave your own quiet 'sorry' as they must have been waiting quite some time for you to actually leave and you grabbed the glass before making your way to the kitchen to sneak another bottle out. The figure that followed closely behind was wound up so tightly that he wasn't sure if he could wait to get upstairs, wondering if he should just tear your clothes off on the way to the room, cut down on wasted time. Everywhere seemed quiet, work all finished. Some might be in the drawing room but most likely in their own living quarters, perhaps sharing a drink with their friends. 

Silently, you snatched the red liquid from the rack and turned to see Levi, that same need in his eyes. With a smile, you slipped past and strutted down the hall towards the staircase, fully aware of where his gaze was now.

"You fucking tease." His voice was close, really close and you squeaked, breaking into a run and leaping up the steps with a grin on your face. Your pursuer was hot on your heels, smiling at the childish enjoyment you gained from the situation, a far cry from the limits you had gone to recently for a thrill. Inside, you placed the bottle and glass down, his own receptacle joining yours on the table and the pair of you stood closely together, not quite touching and breaths quicker than usual. 

"So, I think I won." Levi smirked down at the satisfaction in your voice and you placed your hands gently on either side of his waist, pressing into his warm body. His touch was on you in an instant and you smiled lightly, tilting so your nose nearly bumped into his.

In small movements you nuzzled against his skin, mouths so near but you held back, sending him crazy every time you almost kissed and he felt your warm flesh on his face with every tiny nudge. He could easily have taken your lips but this was deliciously agonising. Changing position, you started to leave ghostly trails down his neck, mouth gliding but still not actually making a solid landing. Levi sighed loudly, once more digging into you with his now prominent bulge, trousers tight around his excitement. You raised your head again and gazed into his eyes, the desire evident in his half-lidded orbs. Finally giving in to the inevitable, you kissed, softly at first but it soon became insistent and you pulled back, sucking lightly on his bottom lip. Smirking, you pushed him and walked your lover towards the bed, both crashing down together and quickly commencing the embrace again.

Any thoughts of tomorrow's visit had vanished from his mind as Levi tugged impatiently at your clothes, annoyed with the fabric that prevented him from feeling your body. It was his turn to break away and you lay a moment, just staring with connected eyes, breathing deeply in unison like some sort of yogic relaxation technique. "I can't fucking wait anymore (F/N)." With feverish hands, you both set about ridding one another of tops and trousers, all the time stealing pecks from each other, underwear joining the increasing pile on the floor until you were both naked. Your bodies rubbed and tangled together with a fierce passion as you lay on your sides, face to face, your leg over his waist and curling round tightly.

Tongues fought and moans sounded in the room, neither of you able to contain the built up cravings any longer. Levi reached down and grabbed his erection, teasing your wet entrance with the tip and slowly stroking it up and down your clit as he leant down to lick at your nipple. It was torturous, causing you to groan loudly as you gripped into his skin with your fingers and bucked against him, begging to be filled. "Please Levi, just…god….just fuck me." The sound of your urgent and tense voice whispered out and made him shiver, already at the edge of reason himself. 

"Shit (F/N), your filthy mouth does it to me every fucking time."

With calculated speed he gradually pushed inside, once again able to feel you completely and it was incredible. Gasping as he was fully in, you locked eyes from where you still lay facing each other and he gripped strongly onto your ass as you squeezed your leg tighter around his body to give you leverage. Slowly you started to grind together, hips rolling and your thigh rubbing against his skin as he spoke. "God, you're so fucking tight." You moaned loudly and held his gaze, saw the euphoric state of his silver flecked eyes. It was passionate, almost gentle thrusts in comparison to your usual and both of you savoured the feeling of being free; the sensation of nothing in the way between you was too good to rush.

Lips connected again and hungrily moved together, making it more difficult to maintain the slow speed. Your hand reached up and tangled in his hair, fingers searching and trailing through ebony locks and you cracked, pushing faster against his hard member. Levi matched your pace and used the hold on your backside to bring you in with more force, the grip from your leg doing the same. "Fuck, Levi…I love feeling you…your cock…ahhh…" He did everything to contain himself and growled, giving in to lust as he rolled on his back so the position changed. 

"Ride it." Gladly following the command, you continued the previous speed and looked down as he grabbed your hips to keep the pace, thrusting himself up in time with your body.

He stared up as you threw your head back, flesh gleaming in the dim light from the moon, breasts bouncing hypnotically. You were beautiful, his woman and he worshipped you with every part of his being. The words you whispered the whole time were intoxicating and he watched as you bent back down, faces close and your hands once more in his hair. Voices joined together as the heat intensified, calling out like a kind of smut filled incantation.

"Levi...yes..."

"Shit…(F/N), that's it."

"Oh fuck…I'm gonna…"

"Yea, I want to feel you come…mmm..."

"I'm…I…yes, harder, yes!"

"Fucking hell…fff…god dammit..."

A high pitched noise that was a combination of a sigh and a yell spilled from your lips as Levi's pupils became huge, crying out your name with ferocity as sweet release ran through your shaking bodies simultaneously, orgasms hitting in unison. With a series of strong, purposeful movements you felt sparks in your souls as the pleasure overtook you both. Slow, panting breaths were the only sound as the motions ceased, kisses placed on soft lips as you came to a halt and eventually lay still. "Jesus fucking christ Levi," you gasped. "That was amazing." A light laugh came from your mouth as he smiled up, stroking your hair back from your face and showering you with more pecks. 

"Always is, (F/N)."

After you had washed and dried, you cuddled up on the window seat like on New Year's Eve, staring out at the moon now instead of fireworks. Levi breathed in your scent and hummed. "I like this one." Referring to your shower gel, he was glad he'd placed the bottles in there. You laid your head back on his shoulder and squeezed his free hand as he sipped at his drink while you replied. 

"It's ylang ylang. Apparently an aphrodisiac." Your man let out a small huff of a laugh and shook his head as he pulled you closer to him, arm around your waist from where he sat behind you. 

"You're supposed to put that on before sex, not after, you idiot." Giggling, you raised your glass and gazed up at the clear sky, happy that the clouds from before had gone, getting you one step nearer to pulling off tomorrow's plan.


	20. Breach Of The Peace

The sun shone brightly in the blue sky, no hint of clouds and the warmth ran over your exposed skin. It wasn't unbearable, a benevolent heat that lifted your soul with the knowledge that the weather seemed to be in your favour. As you strolled to the gym, you chatted with Levi, morning training session about to begin now that you were rid of any pain from the fight with Jean. He was fast becoming a distant memory and you smiled as the deadpan punchline of the story was delivered. "The kid didn't know what to do, he was too fucking excited so his body took over. Ended up giving himself a nosebleed." You laughed at the ridiculous tale, one that involved a boy from the home Levi grew up in and what had happened when he saw the trailer for a film he had been ages waiting for. Such an innocent occurrence, pure anticipation causing a hilarious outcome and you were glad that your man had some lighter memories from his past.

A shape approached and you grinned over at Hange, but she did not look impressed in the slightest, glasses tilted on her head and hair dishevelled. She glared at the couple and pointed with accusation, face fatigued. "When are you going to come clean and tell everyone you're together?" Your friend's voice was filled with annoyance and you frowned when giving your answer. 

"I don't know, why?" She folded her arms across her chest and started tapping her foot, fixing you in place with a look that said you were in trouble. 

"Because I'm shattered, (F/N). In case it slipped your mind, my room is below yours and after what I had to listen to last night, there was no chance of sleep." Levi raised an eyebrow and smirked when he saw you turn a wonderful shade of pink as Hange continued. "So the sooner the better, I want his old room."

The man by your side shook his head, thoroughly amused by the outburst and he leant forward to look up into the angry eyes of the irate woman. "What, so you can creep into those guy's fucking beds at night?" It stumped her and you could almost see the cogs turning at the prospect, gaze unfocused as she whispered back. 

"Yea, that's a good point." Laughing, you nudged Levi's arm to let him know it was a good time to go and with a faint goodbye, Hange waved you away. 

"I'd better warn them. Poor fuckers won't know what's hit them." His mumbled words made your giggles increase as you entered the gym, excited to get started on some much needed exercise.

~~~~~~

Water spilled down your body as you had a post-training shower, letting it soothe the aches and pains. Shadows of images crossed your mind as you closed your eyes under the streams of liquid, portions of recollections that made little sense on their own. However, piece by piece your childhood seemed to be coming back together as gaps were increasingly filled in. You were sure that the extent of the verbal abuse had just been fully recovered, leaving you with the residual feeling of being beaten down by words until there was no fight left within. Obviously you were stronger now, but being told how worthless you were every single day for so long had taken it's toll. You knew it was in the past, he couldn't get you now yet it was hard to shake the heavy burden of shame.

That was the right word. Shame. At being weak. At the time you peed in your knickers on a day out and were subjected to constant taunts about it, ordered to the toilet regularly. Uli had controlled you completely, even your fucking bladder. You recalled how eventually it was impossible to go without his say so, probably resulting in infections or some kind of problem from holding it in all the time. Sighing, you shut off the shower and stood a moment, unable to leave. Levi poked his head round the door, aware of the silence but no movement, the scent of yet another new gel reaching his nose. "(F/N)?" Opening the cubicle, he stretched in and touched your arm. "(F/N), come on."

With automatic motions you allowed yourself to be helped out of the box and a towel was wrapped around your wet body. The man saw the wretched look in the usually lively (e/c) eyes and concluded that something had been dragged from your inner mind as you had previously been full of life after your vigorous sparring session. Gently, he rubbed the fluffy cotton to dry you down, keeping a close watch on the expression on your face. Hair was dealt with softly and he led you into the main room to where your clean clothes lay out, ready to be worn. Levi also assisted with that as you just stared down at the floor with total misery.

"I was a mess. Fucker made me useless. I couldn't even piss if he didn't tell me to." Bitter tears fell on your skin and you grit your teeth, determined to overcome this but currently you lacked the ability. Arms held you close and a smooth voice whispered sweet nothings as you were rocked side to side in an arc ever so slightly. The inbuilt instinct to help calm another human being with that kind of gesture came naturally and your lover stroked at your damp locks, cradling your body with care. Both of you stood together a while, the pacifying rocks working their magic as you gathered yourself, salty drops ceasing. "Sorry Levi. I'm supposed to be strong for you today and here I am crying like a baby."

"Do you want to stay home?"

"No fucking way. I'll be there for you. I promise."

"Ok (F/N). Thank you."

"I mean it. It was just words, I don't want to let what Uli said get to me so much."

"Sticks and stones."

"What?" Levi pulled back and placed his hands on your cheeks as he imparted his next words of wisdom with a solemn tone.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words cause permanent damage." You just stared for a few seconds, his face unreadable but then you burst out laughing, both at the funny statement and at how depressingly true it was. He smiled lightly without humour and laid your head down onto his chest, holding you tight to allow you to get it all out. The man knew what was going to happen before you did and the laughs soon turned to sobs, loud hitches of deep sorrow racking through your soul and it hit him hard. For five straight minutes you cried into his newly adorned shirt, something in your mind telling you he would have to change again now, but mainly you were taken over by an intense sadness, any peace you had was now gone.

As the despair lessened, you calmed enough to lift your head to catch his gaze. "S-sorry Levi, I…I…fuck sakes." Your voice still quivered and you sniffed, breathing in deeply and letting it out in an unsteady puff. "Right. Ok, I'm ok." It had felt good to have a mini breakdown, let the demons loose in the hope that they might leave you alone and you spoke with a stronger tone. "I think Wednesday's visit to the doctor is long overdue." Levi nodded and gave you a loving kiss, the taste of your tears in his mouth. This woman was resolute and tenacious for the most part, but he was acutely conscious of the fact that she also had her limits. 

"It's going to be hard, but I'm here to help you pick up the pieces, (F/N)."

The man's unconditional love was unwavering and you felt a swell in your heart. "Thank you, Levi. That doesn't sound enough, but I don't know what else to say. I love you so much." He wiped your tears from your face and smiled, warmly this time and spoke with playful sincerity. 

"Don't fucking thank me, that's my job, to make sure you're ok. And it's your job to do the same for me, along with the obvious additions." You raised your brows to allow the no doubt suggestive conclusion of his short speech. "Sex, company, more sex. Oh, and those fucking tiny little cakes you make. They're the best shit I've ever tasted." Grinning widely, you slapped his arm and thought how it had been a while since you'd baked those. They were like miniscule mouthfuls of heaven, even if you did say so yourself.   
"Ok I get it. I'll do some soon."

Releasing your built up anguish along with the light hearted conversation had bolstered your will and you set about sorting your appearance before lunch, the feeling of weight on your heart lifting with every passing second. Fuck Uli. He could go rot in fucking hell. You were still here, still breathing, insanely in love and you decided you would not let a memory ruin your life.

~~~~~~

The afternoon meal had been uneventful, even if Hange still shot daggers at the two of you every time she looked across the table. Mike had caught your eye at one point and you gave a surreptitious nod to let him know that the plan was still on unless anything changed. Once again, Levi noticed and felt a small sense of satisfaction at how well he knew his woman, curiosity growing over what you were up to. Any thoughts of that had been washed away now though as the gates of the hospital came into view, two figures walking hand in hand towards their destination. With a sharp intake of breath, he raised his hand to press the buzzer and waited mere seconds for attention, Gebhard appearing with his usual friendly smile. "Welcome, welcome. Please, in you come." He seemed happy, something that surely was a good omen and you entered, eyes scanning for familiar faces.

Armin wasn't around, actually very few were but you spotted Eren in the corner. The brunette sat hunched at a table, crayon in hand as he looked critically down at the paper before him, adding some small sweeps to his creation. "We'll be back soon (F/N). Make yourself at home. There's someone in the kitchens if you fancy a tea or coffee." The nurse smiled and you returned it sincerely, in awe of his constant cheery disposition despite the job he had. Levi squeezed your hand and you gave him a strong grip back, sending thoughts of luck and support. They left, making their way down the hallway to Farlan's room and you watched as they disappeared from view.

Green eyes had found you and a voice called over, inviting you to join it's owner. You quickly made the journey to the table and sat with Eren, his gaze now back on his picture. It was simple but also quite disturbingly beautiful, lines gathered that collectively shone out from the white background. "That's excellent, Eren. Can you tell me about it?" The younger man wriggled excitedly in his seat, glad to have an audience. He pointed at a figure, large and imposing without many features but it was clearly some kind of imaginary beast. 

"That's me." Feral eyes had been drawn on the creature's face and you glanced over, expecting to see a dark emotion but he looked pleased as he moved his finger to the next smaller being. "And that's the Captain. He looks after me." The tiny crayon Levi was actually recognisable, all drawn in black and he wore a cloak that had the hints of a breeze billowing through it, such a simple effect that many people could only dream of being able to draw. "What's he like when he's not working?" The question took you by surprise, but you kept any sign of it inside and smiled as you asked for clarification. 

"How do you mean? Tell me what he's like at work." With nothing for comparison, it would be difficult to form an acceptable response and you saw a lopsided grin form on Eren's face. 

"He's hard on us all and quite offensive sometimes, but only because he has to be, I guess. Very smart, no one can think as quickly as he does. And he likes things to be kept neat and clean." You giggled slightly and the man next to you joined in, looking totally enraptured at his vision of the Captain.

It was uncanny how Levi's personality had been summed up and you wondered how this guy knew him so well. Perhaps Farlan had talked about his friend, or even your lover may have unintentionally given the brunette some insight into his life. "Well Eren, he's not much different after work to be honest. Just add in how caring and warm he can be and you've got the full story." Those bright teal eyes stared at you again and he ate up your words like they were gospel. 

"Really? Wow. Thank you, I knew he must be a good man, even if he does keep me locked up sometimes." That part was a little unsettling, especially so when combined with the look of adoration he wore on his face at the thought of it. Suddenly, a hand grabbed onto yours and pleading orbs pierced the air between you, any sign of enjoyment now gone. "Take me with you? I don't want to be here anymore. I hate it. Please?" It was heartbreaking, his fantasy world had crumbled and now all he had was stark reality and pain. 

"Oh Eren, I…" You wanted to say yes, alleviate his distress and at the right moment a nurse appeared, hands landing on the patient's shoulders gently. 

"Come on, time for a lie down, yes?" The man allowed himself to be led away, leaving his picture behind on the table and the sorrow in your being was immense as you looked down at the drawing. He'd want that later, you thought and scooped it up to hand to a member of staff as you stood.

A shout sounded out, not one of fear or anguish but a joyous squeal. Isabel came flying down the hallway towards you, hair tied in tiny little bunches and she launched herself at you for a hug. You stumbled back a few steps under the weight, but threw your own arms around the body that still caused you some unsteadiness. "(F/N)! I'm so happy to see you! Isn't my hair great?! Can I do yours? I have loads of brilliant ideas, pleeeeeeease?" The six month assessment seemed to have gone well and you glanced at Levi, the smile on his face letting you know your assumption was correct. He gave you a light nod and you grinned. 

"Sure Isabel, you can do my hair. Shall I sit here?" Peeling yourself from the grip, you pointed to where you had just been and she pushed you down, ass hitting the seat with force and the feminine personality in the man's strong body skipped away to fetch the accessories.

The two other men came close, both looking at you with a mix of gratitude and amusement. "You have no fucking idea what you've just let yourself in for, (F/N)." Shrugging, you gestured up and shot back your retort. 

"Could do yours too while we're here?" Levi took a step away, hands up in mock terror and you laughed. It stopped as soon as it started as you remembered the item you held. Passing it to Gebhard, you explained. "Eren left this." He nodded and thanked you, taking the paper to return it to it's rightful owner as Isabel reappeared, box in hand and a grin on her face.

For half an hour you allowed yourself to be prodded and poked, brushed and clipped, all the while chatting between the three of you. Your lover looked contented, giving his friend playful jibes and nudges, offering suggestions for your new look which were no doubt dripping with the intent to cause you embarrassment. It was a lovely thirty minutes, free of any troubles and you reckoned that all of the people involved were in need of the break from normal life. "There." Isabel sat back with satisfaction and surveyed her hard work, tweaking the odd bit here and there to ensure it was perfect. Levi's face was a picture, attempting to hold in a laugh as he gazed over at your appearance with his lips pressed tightly together. "Let me get a mirror!" The excitable human ran off and you watched as the often emotionless man struggled to keep it together, body hitching as he bowed his head to stifle the chuckles that longed to be let out.

"Alright, I'm sure it's not that fucking bad." He stood as you spoke and walked away, a hand up in defeat as he paced around the main communal area to compose himself. Isabel came bounding back with a reflective surface, one of those that you usually associated with baby's toys, non shattering plastic that always gave a slightly warped view of reality. It was clear enough to see exactly how laughable you looked though, a few braids held in place with pink clips, glittery bands wrapped around your hair to create at least five separate bunches that stuck out all over the place. The crowning glory was a small tiara comb that sat on top precariously, shining out with pride. "Isabel, it's wonderful. Thank you!" It was all worth it when you saw that expression light up her face, eyes wide as saucers with a grin that was infectious.

She fussed a bit longer to make sure it was pristine, large fingers showing no sign of clumsiness that might be expected from such an imposing physique. Levi felt calmed enough to return and any humour he had previously was turned to adoration, soft grey eyes staring down at where you sat and constantly praised your hairdresser. That familiar feeling of relentless love coursed through his core, made his chest tickle with a bursting sensation as he observed the way you interacted with his old friend. For the hundredth time he found himself wondering how he had been fortunate enough to have even met this woman, let alone be in a relationship with her. His quiet reverie was broken by the man he had just been with and Gebhard reluctantly delivered the bad news.

"Come on Isabel, bath time." She pouted and her eyes darkened, never shifting from you as she spoke.

"I don't wanna." Sensing a petulant tantrum, the kind man began to get insistent but you saw how her features were changing and jumped in to try and soften the blow. 

"Hey, think about it. Once you're all nice and dry, you can try out a new style? And then next time I come over you can show me, yea?" The spark was back and she clapped her hands before giving you a kiss on the cheek and bouncing off to comply with the suggestion. The nurse said something quietly to Levi and waved you both goodbye, smile wide.

It took a few minutes to get the items out of your hair and your man gathered them up carefully, delivering them to his friend's room in case anyone else came in and found them. With slightly frizzy locks, you left and started the journey home, sun still shining brightly in the late afternoon sky. An arm held you tightly around the waist and pulled you close, kiss placed on your fuzzy head. "You're fucking unbelievable (F/N)." Smiling, you looked up and saw the serenity in his face, happy that the visit had gone well and you reciprocated the hug, two connected figures walking slowly back to the house.

~~~~~

Mike's part was in play now and with a subtle gesture, you set his role in motion as you rushed to the kitchen. Dinner was in service but tonight you wouldn't be joining in, you had other ideas. Earlier, you had delivered the already obtained items to where they needed to be and right now the final touches were being completed. Bag full, you waved at Hannes who just looked over with a confused smile and you ran, aware of how time sensitive this was. Outside, the evening was warm and mild, sun nearly setting as you got everything ready with care.

Meanwhile, Levi scowled at his colleague, unsure what any of this had to do with him on his day off. And he was hungry. You'd managed to elicit some kind of need for food in him, the meals you shared making his body require more sustenance than before. "So let me get this right. You think someone's planted surveillance? Without us fucking seeing? And you're afraid of heights?" The blonde nodded, feeling stupid but also smug as he knew what was really going on. "Fuck me. Alright. Where?" Grumbling the whole way, the pale man was led to a set of metal ladders that were attached to the wall on the back of the house, iron bars running up to the roof. With a sigh, Levi started to climb, the small bottle in his pocket screaming out to be used as he touched the weathered rungs. Muttering expletives, he was unaware of Mike grinning up and leaving the area and as he reached the top, what met his eyes took his breath away.

The view was stunning, sun bowing down beneath a few distant clouds, turning them shades of soft pink and red as they hung lazily over the forest, faraway buildings giving a hint of the town. But that wasn't the most spectacular thing. His woman sat cross legged on a blanket, loads of cushions scattered for comfort and you'd managed to find the only flat place up here, a few metres square to create a cosy enclosed space. Electric blue and silver fairy lights were wound around some of the small chimney stacks and trailed across the surface of the roof to encircle the area. A hamper full of food was on one side, bottles and glasses to the other along with a few candles that flickered in the gentle breeze.

You grinned and watched his face turn from pure annoyance to wonder, thanking Mike silently for achieving the ruse that was needed to get your man up here. Plan B was to just force him to climb, but that was a last resort. Levi couldn't speak and took a few steps forward to reach the edge of the blanket, seeing how you had slipped off your shoes. He followed suit and slowly sat down, mouth open in amazement. "When…? Why?" Giggling at his shock, you took his hands in yours and gave him a tender kiss. 

"Because I love you."

How you got this all up without falling was incredible, he couldn't figure it out and you motioned to the ice bucket to signal that he was to do the honours with the chilled champagne. "You could have broken your fucking neck." Of course. Not thanks, but a telling-off. 

"Levi, there's an attic window round there. I didn't lug it all up the ladder." He craned his neck to see your portal, propped open by another blanket so the items could be lowered back in again, rope tied to the frame. The effort you'd gone to was phenomenal, making him feel a warmth that was filled with love and kindness. 

"Jesus, (F/N). What are you trying to fucking do to me?" It was said without malice, he wasn't very good with words. What he meant was that he used to be a cold, emotionless man without much regard for anyone else and here you were, quickly breaking down the barriers and causing so many new feelings.

You understood to an extent, the small smile on his lips telling you all that was needed and he pulled out his sanitiser before touching anything. Your hands were held up, waiting for your share as that ladder was undoubtedly filthy. Clean and ready to go, Levi took care of the cork with skill, making sure it made only a tiny noise and no liquid was spilt. The voices of a few people filtered up as they walked around the grounds, oblivious to what was going on above them.

Turning to the hamper, you pulled out a variety of food, all things expected on a romantic picnic. Items such as brie, french bread and slices of cured meats were unveiled, along with plates and some cutlery that you had brought in case he didn't feel comfortable eating with his fingers. Glasses in hand, both of you raised them in a toast that you took the lead on. "To us. No matter what kind of shit goes on, we always have each other." Sipping on the bubbly drink, you locked eyes as the sun became a sliver of light on the horizon.

The meal was lovely and you chatted together softly, enjoying each other's company without interruption. Stories were shared, funny tales from your past, any of the darkness forgotten. You'd given up a few embarrassing anecdotes, not as bad as the toilet incident but enough to cause your man to laugh, a sound that lifted you every time you heard it. The cushions had been rearranged and you now lay back against the slope of the roof, legs stretched out over the blanket, hand in hand and gazing up at the stars. No street lights were around here so the view was unencumbered, twinkling dots shining down. A comet would have been nice, but even the universe realised just how cheesy that would have been and instead graced you with the static celestial objects.

"This is fucking perfect. Thank you." You smiled and squeezed his hand as you replied. 

"My pleasure Levi. I wanted to do something to show you how much you mean to me." It was a moment of calm and peace in your often stormy lives, a feeling of togetherness that you wished would never have to end. Involuntarily, you shivered and the man by your side turned his head to speak. 

"I don't want to, but maybe we should get going. You're freezing." The perils of a relatively cloudless sky at night had made themselves known and with a sigh you agreed. Everything was packed neatly away and lowered down into the disused attic and you gave him a choice. 

"Ladder or window?"

"How are we going to get down through the fucking window?"

"The rope, dumb ass."

"A hamper's one thing, holding the weight of human fucking beings is another, (F/N)."

"I'd rather take my chances with the window than slipping in the pitch black down that rusty thing. I didn't think the exit strategy through very well, did I?"

"Nope. Tch." Levi went first, testing out the strength of the knot you had tied. With a huff, he gripped on tight and slowly descended, you peering down into the dimly lit room the whole time. Feet touched the floorboards and you sighed with relief as he beckoned. "Take it easy, just shuffle." You took his advice and carefully left the window ledge, pulling the blanket out that propped it open and dropping it to floor. Yet again, you certainly hadn't planned this well and you squeaked as you wrapped your legs around the rope. 

"Levi, how do I get this down?" Hearing another tut, you hung still and waited for the advice. 

"You'll have to fucking go back up tomorrow when it's daylight." Nodding, you started to let yourself go downwards, holding on for dear life and wondering how many more times you'd have to do the trip between attic and ladder. It had been worth it though, a beautiful evening.

Your lack of concentration came into play and you slipped, grasp on the rope failing and the harsh strands biting into your palms. "Fuck!" With a cry and flailing limbs you let go instinctively to stop the pain in your hands and fell. It wasn't a huge gap as you'd managed to worm half way down before losing control. Levi's eyes widened as he saw what was going to happen a split second before it occurred and steadied himself to catch your falling body, just like he had when you tumbled from Erwin a few weeks ago. It was a bigger distance and you landed awkwardly, your saviour's legs buckling and you sprawled together on the floor with the blanket under you both, laughing your ass off.

"I'm glad someone finds it fucking funny." He couldn't help but smirk and looked up at the joy on your close face as you lay on top of him. An intense kiss followed quickly, the romance of the evening lending itself to the moment along with your proximity. You let out a sigh and became caught up in the heated exchange, brain switched off to anything but the here and now. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Levi wondered what room this place was above but he quickly forgot that thought as he felt your hands grabbing at his clothes, surrendering gladly to the passion.

Mike had heard the thump that signalled your fall and glanced up at the ceiling. Odd. Then your laugh sounded out, small and far away and he smiled, realising that you must have taken the window instead of the precarious ladder. His expression soon changed as other muffled noises commenced, frown now on his face as he sighed and got up, deciding suddenly to take a late night walk instead of sitting here listening to what was going to transpire.

~~~~~~

"Who's that?" Half an hour later and you had managed to get yourselves and the remnants of the picnic downstairs, using the small folded stair case that sprung from the hatch in the hallway ceiling. You'd noticed Mike's door was slightly open but thought nothing of it as you had crept back to your shared room, passing Levi's now abandoned home. Now you sat together on the sofa, pyjamas on and hair damp from your shower, your man leaning in and enjoying the smell of blueberries from yet another rediscovered soap as he passed you a photo. 

"That's me." Staring down, you saw the tiny figure in the picture and shook your head in disbelief. Sure, the dark hair was maybe a dead giveaway but he looked so, well, defenceless and weak. "I was eight."

The image was tinged with sadness, a lone sullen boy standing by a lake with a bucket and fishing net in the middle of what you presumed was supposed to be a happy outing for the kids from the home. But all the others were on the other side of the scene, camera capturing what looked like a fun game that this child wasn't a part of. "Fucking summer camp. Pitiful really, take us to some idyllic setting but still force the same kind of treatment." He sighed lightly and moved to the next snap, this one making him smile. It was him and Farlan when they were in their late teens, leaning casually against the wall of a building and trying to look like the baddest mother fuckers around.

"Oh my god Levi, that's a nice style you've got going on there!" His hair was slicked back as he stood with one leg bent, foot flat against the bricks and his arms crossed over his chest as he stared off to the side, standard bored expression evident. Black boots sat untied on his feet and trousers were tucked into the scuffed items, a pair of sunglasses hanging from the open collar of his white shirt, the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. Farlan looked similar but had a pair of brown dusty brogues on, his own glasses in place over his eyes and a small look of superiority on his face. 

"Yea, we were the fucking nuts. What was I thinking?" You laughed and reached up to sweep his raven locks back, fully revealing the sharp bone structure that you knew laid beneath. 

"I think it's fucking sexy, Levi. You should wear it like this more often." Studying the strong jaw line and contours of his cheeks, you smiled, thinking how less grumpy he could look when his whole face was on show.

"Alright, stop that (F/N). It's nearly one in the morning and I've got to get up at six so don't start making those fucking moves on me." Pretending to be shocked, you let out a gasp of indignation and trailed your hands down to the fuzz of his undercut, rubbing your fingertips into the satisfying softness. 

"Moves? Me? Never." One wink was all it took and he growled, unable to resist your touch.

~~~~~

He had grumbled the whole time he was getting ready this morning and you smirked at the memory of your tired lover as you ate breakfast alone. Levi was on the front gate and would be back around eleven for a couple of hours before taking your dad into town for a few bits. It was Saturday, the dinner this evening taking up a lot of the staff's time and Hange was off somewhere helping out. You would do that too once you'd eaten, hunt down anyone that needed assistance as you'd already gone to retrieve the rope earlier and tidied up the picnic from your room.

There was a cough at your ear and you jumped, cereal going all over the table in sprays of milk. "Sorry (F/N), didn't disturb you did I?" Mike glared at you from where he had bent to your seated level, so you grinned and attempted to alleviate any kind of anger he held. 

"Thanks for helping out last night." The man stood tall and shook his head at your words, blonde curtains flapping at his face and he strode off leaving you confused.

Eventually you found someone in need of an extra pair of hands and sat folding cloth napkins into intricate fans, pinning them together with a clip to keep their shape. It was mindless work, leaving you to your thoughts and that feeling of empty worthlessness started to creep in again. You didn't let it devour you, pushing it down as you filled your mind with happy memories, recalling yesterday's events with a smile.

By eleven, you had finished and made sure there was nothing more you could be doing before you went to your room. Levi was here already, scowling as you walked in. "Aw, not still sulking about losing precious sleep, are you?" He muttered something in response from where he sat on the sofa and you went to stand behind him, hands on his shoulders and massaging deeply to release the tension, a nice breeze flowing in from the open window that tickled your skin. 

"Ahh, yes that's it. Don't fucking stop (F/N)." Standing sentry for so long had played havoc with his posture and you worked at the knots expertly, squeezing and digging around the places you knew he would be in the most pain. 

"Sit up on the bed, it's too hard this way." Your lover obeyed and you got in position, magic touch starting up again.

"God fucking dammit," moaned Levi, head rolling down in pleasure as the discomfort started to leave his body.

"Lean over." You started to work on his back, sliding under his shirt as your knuckles pushed into the part that would have been strained by the time spent on his feet.

"No, lower. Fucking lower. Ah, shit, right there, yea."

"Calm down, you sound like you're about to come." You hissed your warning but his voice carried on as loudly as before, totally enthralled.

"Fucking could do if you carry that on. Jesus (F/N). Do it harder." You rolled your eyes but complied, grunting in effort as your hands kneaded at his flesh.

"How much longer? I'm getting cramp in my fingers." 

"Ungh…dunno…a little bit…"

"You owe me." All he could do in response was make a low guttural noise and flopped forwards onto the bed, face down and arms by his sides. Climbing on, legs straddling his torso, you pushed his clothes up to get more access and he turned his head, eyes closed and a small smile on his lips as his cheek laid on the covers.

"Keep going, don't fucking stop." He was mumbling now, mouth barely moving as you continued your motions, thinking only about freeing him from pain. The volume was turned up again as you hit a particularly anguished bundle of muscles, silky voice calling out with satisfaction. "Holy fucking shit, (F/N). God that hurts, push harder." You were blushing now, ridiculous really but he sounded so damn filthy and all you were trying to do was help him relax. 

"Levi, shush!" He laughed, opening one eye to look up at your red face. 

"What? I thought you liked it?" That earned him a slap to the back and you found a renewed strength, assaulting his body with your massage. "Fuck…yea, that's good. Mmm. Get right in there…ahhhh." You'd found the epicentre of his issues and dug in harshly as he groaned loudly, the figure beneath you stretching out with pleasure. 

"Right, I'm done. I can't take this anymore." Leaving him lying there, you jumped off as you spoke and felt more than a little horny. Nothing would come of that though as deep breaths were sounding out from his contended being. You'd unwound him so well that he had fallen asleep. Might as well go get lunch, you thought and left the slumbering man behind.

You decided to walk round outside for a bit, get some fresh air to clear your head and calm you down. Some looks were shot your way and to start with you ignored them, but they were becoming more frequent. Decidedly self conscious now, you went to the kitchen and grabbed some food with thanks to the staff, taking it back out to sit on the patio. Hange was here and you plonked down next to her heavily, frown on your brows. "Have I got something stuck to my face?" Your friend laughed at your innocent conclusion for all the attention and shook her head as she scooped up another mouthful. Lifting the fork, she stopped and grinned at you, a look that meant mischief. 

"Nope. But if you're going to have sex in the middle of the day, don't leave your window open. Nice weather, lots of people like to sit outside in this and don't need their senses offended."

The flush started at your ears and soon covered your whole body, pure humiliation sinking into your heart as blotches of hot red appeared on your chest. "But…but…no! No it wasn't that!" Your voice was shrill and carried quite far, reaching those eating inside also. "It was just a fucking massage!" A few laughs erupted from the dining room and you stood, marching over to stick your blushing face through the open door. "It was! Filthy bunch of…idiots!" Not wanting to fully insult everyone, your polite side managed to come up with the worst sounding defence ever and you glared at them all, heart pounding as the giggles continued. "Oh I give up." What was the point? Even if they did believe the truth, it all pointed towards the same thing.

Abandoning lunch, you stormed off back to your room to wake up the man responsible for this and give him a piece of your mind. With the window shut.


	21. Recollections and Revelations

"Come on, get out!" Levi stayed still, sitting with his right leg over the left, book in hand as he sipped hot tea. He had already dressed, suit and earpiece in place and he looked good. Fucking amazing, actually. It had been a while since you'd seen him in this outfit and realised how much you missed it, happy to stand and take in the scenery. Hange, however, had different plans and shouted at the man again. "Seriously shorty, I have to get (F/N) ready!" Finally he looked up at the angry woman, eyes instantly darting to the person by her side who stood in just underwear. 

"And exactly why do I need to leave for that?" He fixed his steely gaze once more on the one who had addressed him, face unreadable as she replied with exasperation. 

"Because! This is what we do!" The woman looked wretched, her eyes pleading and hands grasped together. Your face was placid but he saw a faint glimmer in the alluring (e/c) orbs that changed his stubborn mind. Huffing, he stood and muttered as he straightened out his jacket. 

"Those fucking pricks will be getting here soon anyway." Making it sound like he had to go rather than giving in to the two females in the room, he mumbled goodbye and swept off, slamming the door. He stalked the halls and cursed this part of the job. All evening he would be able to look at you, watch your movements as you had to force yourself to play nice but he couldn't touch. Hands off. It was going to be hell.

"Good, I thought he'd never leave."

"Hange, it is his room too, you know."

"Yea, don't I just know it. Sit." She started sorting your hair, dress already picked that would be put on last, one you could step into rather than pull over your head. "So a massage, eh?" It was the first time since this afternoon that you'd been together and your friend turned to the main talking point around the house.

"Yes. I swear to god. I told him to shut up but he'd been stood up all morning, must've really needed it. He even fell asleep!"

"Bless. But anyway, it really didn't sound all that innocent and my god, the gossip!"

"Out with it then." You sighed, waiting to hear what was being said now.

"Well obviously about ten people heard it, including Hannes by the way. He wants a word. Aaaand it spread. Last I was told, the two of you have been at it like rabbits, in the shed, in the gym, the gardens…"

"What?! No we haven't! Not there, anyway. Fucking hell Hange, didn't you put them right?" She pulled at your locks and secured the elegant do, a far cry from how it looked yesterday when Isabel did the work and started to add some jewelled pins that would give some sparkle.

"I kind of tried, but you know I love a good gossip." You knew all to well and smiled, finding it hard to hold any grudges. "But (F/N), it's a good thing. Not necessarily that everyone thinks you're sex addicts, but that it's out there in the open. No more sneaking around?" That was an upside, granted, but it meant you were under scrutiny from your friends now too, not just the pompous dickheads that were starting to arrive in their flash cars. "Just think, you can walk around the grounds hand in hand, have a candlelit dinner?"

"Erm, no. Can you imagine that? No thanks." Hange moved in front of you, palette in hand as she applied some accentuating eye shadow with a frown. Content with her efforts, she jabbed her thumb upwards to signal you should stand and you stepped into your dress. She pulled it up gently and zipped it closed, running her hands over the sides to ensure there were no creases. It was lovely, a dark purple colour with some lace detail. The neck was sensible but not too high, just above the start of any cleavage and the sleeves reached your elbows. It was relatively comfortable, that was until you tried to walk. The garment was tight and came down to your knees, restricting your movement slightly as your legs were pinned together. You were used to it though - most of your dresses were annoying to move in. Black satin heels finished off the look, low but effective.

Hange stood back and looked over her creation, poking some stray hairs back into place and she nodded. "Good to go. Ooh, perfume." You turned to select one from the shelf that sat beneath the mirror and looked at those on offer. One stood out, one that hadn't been here before. Unless there was an event like this, you rarely bothered with the stuff so it could conceivably have been here for a few weeks. A ribbon was tied around the bottle that matched the one that had bound your Christmas gift, stained in your favourite colour and as you lifted it up, you saw a small velvet pouch attached to the lid. Hange was busy washing the hair products and make up from her hands in the bathroom, humming a lively tune, so you quickly looked inside the bag.

There was a note folded up into a tiny square and you opened it with feverish fingers. "This is going to smell fucking amazing on you." Grinning, you lifted the perfume and dabbed it on your inside wrist without even seeing what the scent was, trusting his keen nose. It was light but intricate, tones of vanilla mixed with orange, not sickly sweet but subtle, the citrus hitting your nose first and then the deep warmth came through. It was exquisite and delicate and you rubbed it in, applying more to the skin behind your ears and in the dip of your neck where it met your collar bone.

"Woah, what's that?" Hange was back and sniffing all around you, eyes wide. "Gimmie." She grabbed the bottle and looked it over with scrutiny as she spoke with a frown. "There's no label." You hadn't even noticed, but it was true. This had probably been mixed especially for you. That man of yours was incredible, he must have done it on one of the shopping trips he took the staff on during the week. "Well whatever it is (F/N), it makes even me want to jump you. Go get 'em." With the standard slap on the ass, she grinned as you wiggled off and opened the door to see a smiling Mike.

His expression changed and you saw him close his eyes momentarily as he breathed in. Strange man. With a small sigh, he gestured down the hall, your escort for the short trip. "I take it all went well last night? Before your antics on the floor right above my bed, that is." You froze and turned to face the blonde, apology on your features. 

"Oh my god Mike, I'm so sorry!" He just shook his head and kept his smirk in place, totally over any annoyance he may have had previously. 

"It's alright. Nothing compared to what half the staff heard earlier, so I've been told." Stomping downstairs, you growled to the man in the suit behind. 

"It was just a fucking massage. Jesus."

Shoes clicking through the main hallway, you took a deep breath as he opened the door for you. It was unknown territory. Did people know Jean was no longer on the scene? Would there be questions, sympathy? Either way, you stood and grinned at the sight of your proud father, his friendly and open face tinged with boyish charm. He offered his arm and you took it gladly, allowing yourself to once more be paraded in front of those gathered. No archaic show of acceptance was given but the older man shot a quick glance across to Levi, one that held meaning. Your lover caught it and blinked slowly in recognition, aware of the fact that this was his way of letting him in further.

As smiles and handshakes were reciprocated, your dad leant in and whispered in your ear. "Remind me never to ask you to rub my shoulders again." Oh god. How much wine had he drunk already? 

"Dad! You can't say that!" Cheeks pink, you separated from your decidedly inappropriate parent and spotted a saviour, skipping over quickly to hug him tightly. "Hey Dot, how are you?" The old man clung to you and spoke softly. 

"Just fantastic, (F/N). And how's my beautiful girl?" He leant back to take in your appearance, gold eyes full of love and comfort as he didn't let you answer straight away. "I heard that Jean was a bit of a let down in the end. Are you ok?" Smiling, you nodded. 

"Yes, thank you. A million times better now he's gone." There was a flicker in his amazingly bright gaze and his moustache twitched as a smirk set in. 

"It certainly seems so, (F/N). You look and smell incredible, my dear. Obviously done you the world of good to let go of that baggage."

A slightly unsteady voice announced dinner, your father's to be precise and you took your seat between him and Dot. The starter was served, a light fluffy soufle that was Hannes' trademark dish, expertly carried out and showing no signs of a drunken chef. It had been a while since you had to remain one hundred percent proper and you carefully ate with delicate bites. The whole time since you had entered the room, a set of shining grey eyes had watched you closely, stare intent as he saw how you greeted and chatted with your old friend. Levi was entranced by the sight of you - the dress was magnificent and showed off your body perfectly without being too obvious and the way you swayed around the room was captivating.

He shuffled slightly as he took in the slow, perfect way you put small portions in your mouth, a gesture that seemed so demure and sensual. Not that you had ever reverted back to your usual shovelling motions in front of him, but there was something about the way you slid the fork out of your lips that sent him crazy. Trying to think of anything else other than what now entered his mind, Levi cast his gaze around the room to avoid an embarrassing situation in his trousers. You'd seen it though, a momentary lapse in the stony exterior that probably only you would notice and you smirked, familiar body language telling you exactly what was going on.

The dinner moved on, light chat and blatant ass kissing as a standard soundtrack and you began to wish for the end. Although the inevitable outcome was the vultures descending, you just wanted to get out of here for five peaceful minutes. Your lover had moved so you couldn't see him without scanning the whole room and you sighed. Those two weeks alone were such a blessing and now here you were, your own dad even making lewd jibes and it was wholly unwelcome. Hange was right, maybe the hiding was getting a bit too much, especially for a pair of adults, yet when you lived in such close quarters with others you had to take what privacy you could get.

Dessert was finished, plates collected and the sound of chairs pushing over the wooden floor signalled mingling time, along with the segregation that always followed shortly after. Dot had managed to intercept someone who was making a beeline for you and silently you thanked him, the sudden activity in the room used to your advantage, quickly making for the kitchens. It was manic as usual but this time you strode through with your head down, not wanting to catch anyone's eye. The chef, however, had other ideas. "(F/N)? Alright?" Hange had said he wanted to talk, so you sighed and got ready for what was coming next.

"I want to say thank you. I've been on the phone to that helpline every day and they've been amazing. If you hadn't have pushed me, I would probably be out of a job by now, so yea. Thanks." It wasn't what you had expected and you smiled warmly, hugging the man tight. As you embraced, the inevitable arrived. "And for the record, I believe you. Thousands wouldn't, but I do." Pulling back, you tried to figure out if he meant it or not, his eyes telling you he certainly did. 

"Thank you, Hannes. You have no idea how awful it is to have people thinking something else." He winked and squeezed your arms as he spoke with a smile. 

"Just because I believe it was a back rub, doesn't mean I'm stupid. People don't act like that around friends, (F/N). But for what it's worth, good on you both. God knows you deserve some happiness." At last, a genuine comment instead of the innuendo you had been subjected to so far.

Leaving him with a kiss to the cheek, you scurried out to unearth your supplies, ones that had been newly replenished recently. You rolled two cigarettes and as if on cue, Levi's voice appeared behind you. "Still sneaking around, (F/N)? How unlady-like." Grinning, you passed one of the smokes over to him and saw his smirk along with how he couldn't keep his eyes off you. Before you lit up, the man leant in and smelt your flesh, humming in appreciation. "Mmm, I knew it would suit you."

"Thank you, so so much, it's wonderful. Did you really get it made specially?"

"Of course. That mass produced shit lasts for about a minute. And I knew how fucking amazing it would be on your skin." Fighting back the urge to get hold of your body, he held out his hand for the lighter instead and breathed in sharply. "So how long are you going to last?" Conversation was back on the evening's event and you sighed, dragging in your own nicotine fix. 

"Fuck knows, Levi. Are you in it for the long haul?" The man exhaled and nodded his head. 

"Supposed to be. This might be good night from me." The door was shut, but even if it wasn't, everyone knew now by the sounds of it so in a split second, you threw your cigarette down and took his lips in a strong kiss, hands in his gorgeous hair while you pressed in closely. As you drew back, he looked stunned but also elated, yet another step towards being able to act without covert actions.

"Can't let you go without a good night kiss, can I?" Levi smiled at your words and ran his hands up and down your sides, feeling the lacy fabric under his touch. 

"Too true, (F/N)." He shook his head and gave your lips a brush with his thumb as his face turned darker. "Better go in." You nodded and turned, picking up the other items and pumping minty freshness into your mouth. The small bottle you also kept in here was gone though, replaced by another just like the one upstairs only in miniature form. He'd got one for down here, too. 

"Oh Levi, you're just…I don't know what to say." He took the perfume from you and dealt with the lid. 

"Don't say anything. You don't need to." You stood under the mist he created from one push of the spray item as the wonderful scent gently covered your body, another sound of satisfaction coming from your lover's mouth.

All sorted, you made your way back through the kitchen, Levi's glare enough to stop any kind of smart remarks. No one seemed to notice you come back in to the main dining room apart from your father and he quickly joined you, face serious. "Levi, I need you in here tonight. Mike will be with me and two of the others. Bertolt will take up position in this room too. As soon as (F/N) leaves, you leave. I won't have her alone." His urgency made it clear. This wasn't about letting you be together, it was purely protection. Jean could turn up and also the older man was thinking of your mental state so he acted like he said he would, professional life separated from the personal. Levi answered with an equally work related stance. 

"Sir. Understood."

Women gathered around you, picking and prying, attempting to get some kind of background or answer for your ex boyfriend's departure. It was hell on earth, made worse by a man who now shuffled over, red face beaming. "Well, my son's currently on the market, maybe I could introduce you?" Great. Now offspring were being whored out by parents who wanted to get ahead and make important political connections. You smiled sweetly and gave a non-committal answer, then glanced around and made out like you were being hailed by someone across the busy room.

Finally left alone, you stood sipping your drink when a champagne cork popped loudly nearby, causing you to flinch violently. "Alright there, Miss Jumpy?" Levi's sarcastic drawl in your ear didn't make a difference and as you turned to him, the look on your face made him instantly regret his sly comment. "What is it?" Wide eyes met his narrowed gaze and you started to shake your head slowly, humourless smile pulling at your lips. 

"Fucking hell, I shot a cat. A fucking cat, Levi! Uli told me to. Shit." Rubbing at your temples, you tried to rid yourself of the memory, of the threat of what would have happened if you didn't pull the trigger on the air gun.

The crowds became a blur of faces and you felt clammy, unable to stay upright for much longer as the door in your mind was opened wide, images spilling through. A soft voice was speaking to you but it was impossible to hear any words as your brain released a myriad of pictures, just flashes and hints, no real solid story. The basement. Blood dripping from your nose. An evil grin on the face of your brother. Being submerged head first in the river that ran at the bottom of the garden. It was becoming hard to breathe and you started to hyperventilate, body fully believing that you were flailing around in water and gasping for air. People swam into your line of vision, hazy smiles and laughs mixing with expensive clothing and glasses of bubbly liquid, all of it making you feel nauseous.

It happened so fast and as your chest hitched quickly, Levi grabbed hold of your arm, escorting you out of the room towards the back door that led to the small hallway. A few snippets of conversation managed to filter through, sympathetic voices adding to your discomfort.

"…must be hard for her…"

"…not getting any younger…"

"…I thought he was quite nice, actually…"

Your bodyguard had to hold back the snarl in his throat and bit his tongue, wishing he could unleash the beast within and tell all of these pretentious cunts to shut the fuck up. They must have thought so very little of this woman if they believed she would crumble publicly over Jean. Levi took you through the kitchen again, the few staff remaining here looking over with concern and he swept out the back into the fresh evening air.

Hands on your shoulders gripped tight as his pale face came closely into focus, words spoken gently. "(F/N), breathe. Slow down, in and out. In and out." His command was rhythmic and steady, fingers squeezing on you in time to tell you when to take in air and let it out again. After a few minutes, you had calmed sufficiently and were sat down carefully on the stone step, the man close at your side. 

"Woah. That was fucked up." Knees drawn in, you hugged your legs as you whispered with disbelief and carried on to explain the last few minutes. Levi's face was tight and stern, brows knotted in a more serious frown than usual and he watched you carefully as the sensations were described.

"It's going to keep coming back in waves, (F/N). We can't stop that, just know that I'm here with you through it all." His arm was round your shoulders and he pulled you sideways into his body so he could provide comfort. Nodding your thanks, breaths became normal and you wanted to get away, leave the stupid gathering and just have peace. In one of his moments of scarily accurate presumption, Levi stood and helped you up, one destination in mind. Home.

~~~~~~

Nervous didn't quite cut it. This was anxiety level one hundred and you tapped your foot on the floor, picking at your finger nails. You were early, granted, but staying in your room had been unbearable. Levi was around somewhere, but to be honest you hadn't really heard him when the information on his whereabouts had been given. He had kept an eye on you since Saturday night, but no more memories had been unearthed, just the existing ones that still ran across your mind's eye with regularity. Right now they were all but forgotten and your heart jumped up into your throat as the door opened, friendly face appearing for your Tuesday lesson with a warm smile and cheeks full of freckles.

"Long time no see! How have you been, (F/N)?" It had been nearly a month when you thought about the time that had passed and despite your trepidation, you grinned across to the man. 

"Hi Marco, good thanks. Interesting few weeks! How about you?" Pulling the equipment in, he laughed and closed the door behind him, rummaging through the bags for the protective clothing. 

"You can tell me all about it while we train, yes?" Keeping your grin in place, you just nodded back as the right words were evading you.

Towards the middle of the session, Marco stopped you and bowed, signalling the conclusion much earlier than expected. Helmets off, he gestured to the stacks of chairs that towered in the corner and you moved over to grab a couple. He still had that patient, good-natured expression and you thought how this man had not a single bad bone in his body, a reason to be truthful if there ever was one. "I need to be honest here." Surprisingly, it was him that spoke first. "Your posture is all wrong. It used to be more graceful, but you seem to have power that's coming out when it's not needed. That can be adjusted, but I'm not sure if you want to do that."

"Why wouldn't I want to?"

"(F/N), your heart's not in it. I don't take offence, trust me. But I don't want to condition you to anything against your natural will. Look, it's obvious you've been working hard on the self defence training, I can see it's certainly treating you well." Marco smiled as he referred to the slight change in your physique and the way you moved, measured motions with the thin sword thrown with aggression now. "And I don't really want to be at the receiving end of it." The cheeky grin he wore made you laugh, albeit sadly. He was right, you'd lost any interest in fencing and you felt awful for wasting his time.

"Sorry Marco, I wanted to, I really did but I think I'm better suited to a punch, not parry." He nodded, no bad feeling inside whatsoever. 

"It's ok (F/N). If you ever fancy taking it up again, let me know." The man stood to leave and with a surge of adrenaline, you placed a clammy hand on his arm to make him stop. Here we go, you thought. This is it. Awkward conversation time. 

"I have to tell you something, yet not how I know about it. But please, it's true. Shit." Shaking your head, you internally cringed at how bizarre this might sound. The freckled face stared at you openly, all of his emotions out on display and currently this was mainly confusion. "Jean."

"W-what?"

"Marco, I know Jean. Well, knew him. He's probably hiding somewhere with his tail between his legs but that's not the point."

"Ok, not what I was expecting. I haven't seen him in a few months after I moved out of town." He was still smiling but with sorrow now, a wistful look on his features as he recalled the relationship with fondness and regret.

"Well, he's seen you."

"What do you mean, (F/N)?" A small frown started to form on his brows and you sighed, continuing to deliver the awful news.

"Marco, there's no easy way to say this so I'll just come out with it. He's been taking pictures of you in secret." Your heart tried to smash through your chest as you watched his usually happy demeanour turn to horror and disbelief.

"You mean….?"

"Yes, probably. Maybe stalking's a harsh word but…." Holding a hand up, you gave in and left it at that, unable to think of a better way to describe the situation. The brown haired man struggled with the new information, going through a string of thoughts and feelings. Denial, anger, betrayal, even fear. But inexplicably, one other thing stood out. Satisfaction. You saw the change, his eyes lighting up almost imperceptibly, but it was there, a look of smug superiority that you were all too familiar with. "Marco? You ok?"

"Yes, yes sorry. Wow. I mean, that's a lot to process." He laughed nervously, still not quite hiding the tiny spark of glee that had surfaced. Regardless of the sinister element, Jean still thought about him. Still wanted him. It made him smile and start to wonder if his ex had been hasty in dumping him without an explanation. The woman's voice brought him from his daydream.

"You sure? I had to tell you, sorry."

"Yes, thank you. And don't apologise. It's the sort of thing that needs to be said. Right, please excuse me. I have some thinking to do."

"Of course Marco. And you know where I am if you need to talk." Despite really barely knowing him, your usual need to offer assistance came pouring out.

"Thanks (F/N). Now, I want you to consider what I've said too. Offer is always open to pick up where we left off."

You said your goodbyes and wished each other luck after you'd packed up the things, probably both aware that this might be the last time you would meet. For a moment you just stood in the empty dining room with a perplexed cloud hanging over you. What had just happened? Trying to shake off the odd way Marco had reacted, you opened the door to the back hallway, only to be met by a figure standing guard. As you had done once in what seemed like a year ago, you prodded the man in between the shoulder blades playfully. "Hanging around in shady corridors again, are we?"

Levi turned and smirked, gesturing sideways with his head to suggest you follow him to the stairs. You walked together slowly, trailing your finger lazily along the wall as he spoke. "That was quick." He listened with amusement as you explained the short session and conversation that had ensued, climbing up to the second floor as he came to a conclusion that was almost certainly true. Once inside your home, your lover started to let you into his suspicions.

"Time line fits. Hadn't seen him in a few months? Looked fucking happy that he's being watched? It's obvious."

"What is?" You were peeling off your clothes as you asked the question. Not that you had worked up a massive sweat, but it was still a form of exercise and you didn't want to forgo the usual shower.

"Oh come on (F/N). You're supposed to be fucking intelligent, yes?" He stared with a smile as you struggled with a sock, jumping around the room for balance like you did every single day.

"Cut the shit, Levi. Just tell me. I'm not some kind of psychic like you."

"I'm not psychic, just really fucking good at noticing things, although I wasn't even in there." He was undressing too and you noticed for the first time that he had his gym gear on, presumably having been working out earlier.

"So what? You can read minds then?"

"No, situations."

"Well read this." You stuck your middle finger up at him for acting so sanctimonious and stormed off to the bathroom, followed closely by a naked Levi.

"Ooh, now I'm really upset. Poor me, how will I ever fucking live?" Annoying sarcasm oozed from every pore of his toned body, but that didn't make you stop him from getting into the cubicle with you. Wandering hands started to caress your skin under the warm water and you most definitely didn't stop him doing that either.

~~~~~~

Dinner was underway and you scowled over the table to the still self-assured man who sat opposite, carefully placing small morsels into his mouth. It was chatty but there was still an air of awkwardness in the room. No one had said anything to you about the massage incident since Hannes on Saturday evening, but knowing glances were passed your way every so often. For nearly three whole days you'd been subjected to winks and wiggled eyebrows. It was only a matter of time before the comments started, but right now you were more concerned about how Levi was still holding out, not ready to let you in on his flash of inspiration. The two of you spoke in hushed tones, leaning closer to keep it private.

"Stop fucking staring (F/N). You look like you've got a serious problem."

"I do. You. Now just fucking tell me."

"No. I want you to figure it out."

"Why?"

"Because I'm having fun watching you squirm."

"Funny, I was thinking the exact same thing in the bathroom this afternoon." A smirk twitched on his lips at your words, recalling how much of a tease you could be, making him an incoherent mess of anticipation before finally allowing him the amazing release of what could only be described as mind blowing sex. You saw the twinkle of silver in his eyes and smiled with devilish pride, thinking back to the way it had all started off in the shower but soon moved to the bed, allowing you to drive him insane in a variety of ways. Of course, you ended up back where you had begun shortly afterwards and the look of amazement on Levi's face as he got washed had been exhilarating.

"Touché, (F/N). Still not fucking telling you though." You kept your smile in place and shook your head, eating slowly. Actually, you had been so preoccupied with getting him to spill his guts, you hadn't stopped to think for yourself. So the timing mattered, as did Marco's strange happiness. Your man watched as he saw the woman across the table finally using her brain, eyes narrowing in deep concentration. And then the penny dropped.

"Ohhhhh, I see!" A raised glass of wine met your eventual realisation and you grinned, discussing the probable truth of the matter. "Jean dumped him for me?" Nods confirmed your supposition and you carried on. "But he didn't want to break it off, neither did Marco. And that's why he fucking stalked him, to stay close." It was almost romantic you thought, but stopped the imminent burst of slight adoration as the memory of what the light haired man was capable of came to the surface. "Fucking weirdo." A small huffed laugh greeted your grumble and you sat back, delicious food finished.

You rose and gathered the plates to return them to the kitchen, eyes on you the whole time from your fellow diners. Trying to remain collected and seemingly uncaring, you strode through the tables with your head held high. Emanating nonchalance, you were internally smug as your destination was neared, but fate was not feeling kind today. In a show of horrific clumsiness, you tripped over your own foot and went flying, hands releasing the china and everything you were holding onto smashed into the wall as you hit the floor harshly with a comical flail and loud cry.

A pain in your arm demanded attention and you looked over from where you lay in a heap on the carpet, shattered piece of white porcelain lodged in your flesh. Fuck. Clarity of past events shot into your mind, the recollection of a piece of roof tile being sharply dug into you. In the recesses of sanity, you wondered how all the little scars had healed so well, as you would have hardly any idea of the previous torture if physical blemishes were to be relied upon.

A few giggles sounded out in the room as no one was aware that you had come to any harm, just that one of your sometimes adorable mishaps had occurred. Levi was on his feet before you even fully fell, rushing over with concern. Hange opened the door from outside and took in the scene after hearing the crash, about to shout at those in attendance but the man beat her to it, voice growling and loud. "What the fuck are you laughing at, you bunch of useless fucking pricks?" He reached your side as your friend did, both of them helping you up as the rest of the staff mumbled apologies. Someone gasped and cried out. 

"Oh my god, look at her arm!"

That made things ten times worse as a crowd gathered, all now sympathetic and hurriedly chirping about how they would assist, recommendations chanting out.

"Pull it out!"

"No, leave it there, it's stopping the blood!"

"Get some wet cloths, hey you? Go get some towels."

"…antiseptic…"

"…bandages…"

"…hospital…"

Your already fragile mind cracked and you took a deep breath, intending to scream for silence but all that came out was a feeble croak, like when you tried to shout in a dream and ended up just squeaking with futility. "Stop, please, just stop. Leave me alone." Everything became too much and as more people ran in after being alerted by the commotion, your eyes rolled back and the world became dark.

Levi took your sudden dead weight and gently lowered you back down, thin lines of red liquid running over your arm as he cradled you gently from where he knelt under your body. "Out. Now." The man's commanding tone was met by stony silence, all the shocked intakes of breath halted but no one moved. "I said, get the fuck OUT." It wasn't often that he shouted, usually having no need to raise his voice as the words did the trick, but he was furious, ready to spring up and punch each and every worthless dick in the room. Luckily for them, they took heed and obeyed, shuffling away to leave only the three people behind.

"Jesus Levi, what's happening?" Hange knew of your brother and how the memories were fighting to be recognised, but she had left the subject alone, waiting for you to be comfortable with opening up. It was strange behaviour for the often nosey woman, but this was different. She gazed down, your head supported on the man's arm as you lay across his lap and he mumbled a response. 

"Everything's fucking spilling out now. She's starting to remember it all." Your friend nodded and stroked your hair back from your face as someone joined the trio.

"Levi? Get (F/N) into the drawing room, make her comfortable. Hange? First aid kit." Your father sounded confident and unwavering, voice strong as he looked at the prone body of his daughter. His orders were obeyed instantly and your lover lifted you carefully, keeping your head steady and as he carried your limp body, you started to murmur. 

"No. I don't want to...stop! That hurts." A few garbled words came out and then something that sent ice through Levi's veins. "Do it again."


	22. Facing Fears

"Hey." Your vision began to clear and a concerned face was close by as Levi greeted you. Glancing around, (e/c) eyes took in the room and you realised you were lying on the bed with your man as he gently stroked your hair. 

"How…what…?" The last thing you remembered was asking the crowd to give you some space and a pain in your arm. Holding the limb up, you saw a bandage in place and a gentle voice explained. 

"Hange patched you up earlier. It was actually quite small." Flopping back down, the cut stung slightly as he continued. "What did you see?" With a sigh, you started to tell him about the small memory that had surfaced and how the feeling of being out of control mixed with the proximity of people had sent you over the edge. "Do you remember what you said after?" You shook your head at the query, frowning as you looked up at Levi's tense face, the deep lines of his own scowl creased tightly above the bridge of his nose. 

He had to let you know, there was no way he could keep that hidden and he gripped your hand strongly as your worrying words from before were repeated. It made you feel hot and cold all at the same time, stomach cramping with sick spasms and skin crawling. Whispering, you stared up into concerned grey eyes. "I was right. I fucking liked it."

"Not necessarily. You were so fucking young, it could have been a way to impress him. Make him love you more, get praise."

"Maybe. Levi, I'm sorry."

"What the fuck for?"

"Putting you through all of this shit. I bet you never thought you'd be signing up for this fucking mess."

"(F/N), I signed up for the lot. Everything. Even your annoying little habits."

"Like what?"

"How you try and do my fucking hair, the way you stick your tongue out when you're concentrating, that little smirk you pull when you think you've been a clever little shit. Want me to carry on?" You smiled as he ran his fingers across your scalp in a soothing motion, smile now on his lips as he carried on. "Fuck sakes. Who am I fucking kidding. I love all of those things." Levi placed a soft kiss on your forehead, wishing he could make all of this go away, protect you from the past but he couldn't. All he was able to do was be strong for the woman he loved. "Your dad's worried. Thought the flashbacks were getting better."

"I didn't want to worry him."

"I know (F/N)."

"I don't know what I'm expecting from tomorrow but I hope it fucking helps."

"It might. It might not though, try not to pin all your hopes on it." If truth be told, you were clinging to the appointment with everything you had, praying that the psychiatrist would be able to assist in some way. You sighed and nuzzled into Levi's warm body for comfort, holding him close and never wanting to let go.

~~~~~~

The office was decked out in sophisticated furnishings, lights dim and soft. You sat in the over-sized leather chair, a pack of tissues and glass of water on the low walnut coffee table in front of you. A man was opposite. He looked warm and approachable but also professional and he listened intently as you went through everything from the beginning, leaving nothing out. How you would sneak out at night, Jean's blackmail, the incident in the shower, asking Levi to choke you, all the memories and the bleak truth of your past with Uli. You left it anonymous, no names, this was your problem not theirs, so you used other ways to refer to the different players.

No tears were shed, no stutters or lump in your throat, just the cold, hard story from start to finish. It ended with your description of last night at dinner and what you had mumbled whilst blacked out. It stayed quiet for a moment and the doctor leant forwards slightly. "It's wholly possible that these repressed memories are surfacing for a variety of reasons, (F/N). The loss of control in a fraught situation, in other words the blackmail. Also your training. New found physical strength could cause the mind to feel stronger too. But we can't rule out the start of a relationship and the fear of being pregnant as a stressor, a catalyst." You started to protest but a large hand was held up gently. "I'm not saying you should end things with your boyfriend, quite the opposite." 'Boyfriend' sounded so juvenile, but you let him carry on.

"Triggers aren't necessarily a bad thing. Your behaviour is understandable given your past and I'm glad to hear that it seems to have stopped, but I don't want to pretend it might never happen again." He paused and placed his hands on his knees. "So, what I want to suggest is we leave the why behind and focus on the future, how we can help these recollections and prevent them from being harmful and upsetting." It was an incredible feeling to know that someone could start to aid you, begin the process and put it all in the past.

"There's a form of treatment I'd like to try, with your permission. I'll give you a leaflet to read through, but call me if you have any questions. If you're keen, I'd like to start this soon as it sounds as if the increase in memories you're experiencing could escalate further." The doctor stood and fetched a small booklet from his drawer, the title shining out in blue writing. EMDR. He didn't hand it over straight away, but sat again and spoke. "Is there anything you'd like to ask or say before we conclude?"

There was plenty, and you focussed on the main things in your mind, unaware if he could even answer. "Do you think I liked it?" He smiled, a small friendly gesture as he shook his head. 

"I couldn't tell you, (F/N). What you have to remember is that a young mind can be easily manipulated and trained. If your brother told you to like it, you probably just did as you were told." It was the best you were going to get, quite soothing really and you moved on. 

"If these things really happened, why aren't I covered in scars?" He nodded now, something he had a solid explanation for.

"The skin is supple and changing all the time, especially in childhood. Think about how tall you were then compared to now. The stretching and elasticity over the years will have faded most marks." There were probably a million other things you wanted to say, but you supposed that would come out in future meetings and you were handed the leaflet. 

"Thank you. I'll go and have a read of this. Do you really think it will help?" He stood and walked you to the door with a hand on your shoulder, that same smile making you feel protected as he answered. 

"I've had great and swift results with this. I don't see why we can't have some success one more time. If you're comfortable with what you read, let me know and we can schedule you in as soon as possible."

Once you had said your goodbyes, you walked down the hall to the waiting room, a much nicer one than the surgery as this was a private clinic. You felt lighter than you had before coming here and Levi jumped up as he saw you approach. "How did it go?" Curling your arm in his, you said thank you to the receptionist and left the building, warm afternoon wind blowing over your face with a refreshing breeze, hair ticking at your neck. 

"It was good. He thinks this will help." Holding up the paper, he glanced down and frowned. 

"Never fucking heard of it."

Once you had returned home, Mike had been posted on the front gate in place of your lover under instructions from your father. He wanted the couple to have time together to talk through your appointment and had explained this to Levi earlier. You sat in your room on the sofa, both of you reading the new information. He got through it quicker than you, which resulted in periods of time staring out the window as he waited for a turn of the page. The treatment was fairly new, only having been around a few decades and it meant no drugs or antidepressants, a point you were both pleased with. Instead, it relied on side to side eye movements, mimicking sleep REM as you brought a memory to the surface and also used touch that alternated between left and right. Key to it all would be the doctor's words. It wasn't clear why it worked, but extensive research suggested that it did have good prospects.

Finishing, you placed the booklet on the table and looked at the man by your side. "Sounds good?" You were questioning, keen to gain his opinion. Levi nodded and pulled you in, hugging tightly. 

"It does. You going to go for it?" A small hum of affirmation was given and he sighed, hoping that this would provide some solace and peace to you. Leaning back, you placed a hand on his cheek and smiled. 

"I'll give him a call."

Your phone had a message waiting and you reminded yourself to read it after, dialling the number you had been given. The doctor meant it when he said soon, and you were booked in for your first session on Friday afternoon. It was a bit scary, however ultimately you were filled with optimism. Turning to the text you had received, you saw Annie's name and opened it up. 'Call me.' Pressing the relevant button, you listened to the ring and were answered in seconds.

"Alright bitch?"

"Yea not bad, whore. Everything ok?"

"No (F/N). My stupid fucking dad got a promotion. We're moving."

"Oh Annie, when? Where?"

"Next month to another fucking country."

"Shit, no way? Why don't you stay behind?"

"Yea right, can you imagine me getting a job? With this face? Not exactly a good first impression, is it. And anyway, he won't let me out of his sight. Doesn't want me to embarrass the family name." Perhaps some of her antics had been reported back and you sympathized.

"I know what you mean. But you still could? Just keep out of trouble?"

"To be honest, I'm too fucking lazy (F/N). I'm not leaving without a party though. I'll let you know details, yea?"

"Damn straight. No fucking strippers though." Levi was listening now, attention grabbed by your words. You smirked at his raised eyebrows and shook your head.

"Maybe only two? One each?"

"Annie, you keep them both. Have some fun."

"Oh, I will. Call you later, slut."

"Sure thing, you dumb ass."

The look you were currently being given was hilarious, one that demanded an explanation. Not ready to forgive how he withheld information yesterday, you just smiled and spoke calmly. "I'm going to talk to dad, let him know how it went." As you got to the door, a hand grabbed your shoulder and spun you, silver eyes sparkling as they held you in place. 

"You'll tell me eventually (F/N). I'll make sure of it." Patting his chest in a patronising gesture, you left him with a peck on the lips and swept away to find your father, mood light and almost care-free.

~~~~~

The kitchen was empty as you hurried around, ingredients everywhere and bowls filled with mixtures that were going to be brought together to create a masterpiece. Hange and your dad had been brought up to speed, but no one else had really spoken to you since your fall on Tuesday evening. The knowing looks had stopped too and you wondered if people had begun to just accept that you and Levi were a couple. There was no visible affection for them to gossip about and they also no doubt felt guilty for laughing after you'd tripped. You bore no grudges; it was the kind of thing they'd seen you do before and you hoped they weren't avoiding conversations in case they had caused offence.

It was a nice quiet Thursday afternoon and as you prepared to put the items in the oven, a door opened behind you. "Hey (F/N). You ok?" Closing the appliance, you set the timer and turned to smile at your friend.

"Hi Hange, I'm good thanks."

"Whatcha making?"

"Wait and see."

"Tease. Anything else happened?" You shrugged and started clearing up.

"Not really. A few things but nothing like Tuesday. Just images."

"You nervous about tomorrow?"

"A bit, but more excited really."

"That's good. Now, listen." Hange got close and you smiled, knowing her visit had an ulterior motive. "Bertolt won't talk to me. I might have accidentally got hold of him on Saturday."

"Hange!"

"What? Anyway, he wouldn't do much but kiss and then he ran away looking scared as shit. He's avoiding me now, what am I going to do?"

"Maybe don't throw yourself at him? You still moving upstairs?"

"Yea I have to, thanks to the happy couple."

"Shut up." You blushed, cursing yourself for bringing it up and moved on quickly. "If you see each other more often, he might realise you're not some crazed woman?"

"Good idea (F/N). Right, how long til you're done in here?" You checked the timer.

"Ten minutes."

"I'll wait. Smells gorgeous." The two of you tidied and chatted, kitchen restored to it's usual gleaming state. The ding sounded out and you pulled the tray from the oven, your friend's eyes wide as she almost dribbled. 

"Oi, I haven't even iced them yet. They've got to cool." Her desperation was evident at your words as she fidgeted around, grumbling while you fanned the tiny cakes to speed up the process. Finally, they were cold enough and you expertly added a few drops of essences to the icing in the bowl, flavours that complimented each other perfectly. Piping the creamy substance with care, Hange watched as you bent over closely with concentration and finished off the miniscule treats, adding a garnish of small sugar shapes to them.

They were no more than a mouthful, easy to pop in and eat in one go. There was something about the way they were made that gave a melt-in-the-mouth sensation and you straightened, happy with the results. Another figure joined the two of you, muttering under his breath. "Stupid fucking gate duty. My back's fucked again, I…hang on." Levi sniffed and snapped his gaze round to where you stood by the counter. "Is that…?" You stepped to the side and he caught sight of your creations, the ones he had mentioned recently and the man spoke in the same dark tone. "Oh fuck yes."

He strode over and picked one up, closing his eyes as the tiny morsel landed on his tongue. Hange giggled and you crossed your arms and watched his delight, unaware of just how much he liked these until now. It had been ages since you'd made them and you wondered how many times he'd snuck one away to eat in private, not wanting you to see the lapse in his stony exterior. "Shit (F/N), I could fucking marry you right now." You raised your brows and smiled, staring up as he slowly opened his eyes again and stood stock still. With a fluid movement, Levi spun on his heel and marched out of the kitchen, face unreadable as he pushed through the door.

"Oh my fucking god (F/N)! Did you hear that?!" Hange was whispering but the glee was evident in her voice, hands up at her cheeks as a manic expression crossed her face. 

"They're just good cakes, I guess." She shook her head at your dismissal and grabbed your shoulders. 

"No, nothing edible is worth that kind of reaction!" As you tidied the last bits and set the dishwasher on, your friend buzzed around, not letting you get away with what had just been said. The rest of the treats were placed carefully in a tub just as Hannes came in to start dinner preparations. You took it as a good time to escape and ran while he spoke to the other woman, a shouted warning coming clearly from the kitchen. "I'll find you later (F/N)!"

Levi was standing by the bedroom window, watching the late afternoon sun start to take on the hues of evening and he didn't move when you walked in. Not wanting to make him feel awkward, you carried on as normal, turning on the TV to see what shit was on and tidying a few bits. The man stared outside, still cursing himself internally, not for what he said, but for speaking it out loud in front of your friend. He would never hear the end of it. It was bad enough that everyone knew of your relationship and now this. At least no one had said anything more, left the two of you in peace but he was positive the crazed woman would be bringing his unintentional confession up at every possible moment.

As Levi looked out, a flock of birds crossed the sky silently, making their way somewhere in a v shape, destination pre-programmed into their tiny but clever brains and he sighed. "So what did Annie want?" You still hadn't told him and in an attempt to bring normality to the situation, he had probed once more. Feeling both bad for your lover but also complimented by his earlier words, you decided to alleviate at least this annoyance for him. 

"She's moving to another country. Having a party before she goes and by the sounds of it, the dirty cow is going to order some strippers for her own personal amusement."

Levi nodded and turned, eyes finding you curled up on the sofa and looking comfortable. He joined his woman, arm out to indicate you should move and lie into his body. You complied and cuddled in, staring at the television without paying much attention. "Sounds fucking messy (F/N). I presume you won't say no?" Grinning, you imagined how much he would hate the whole affair, but obviously he had to come. 

"Nope. And you might have fun, you never know. I'll bring some of my cakes." For a moment, he didn't know how to address the cheeky comment and sat still, contemplating his response. Unable to think of the right way to reply, he stared to laugh, mainly at himself. It was the same sound that you had last heard properly at Christmas when he crumbled after your father's embarrassing story and you joined in, loving the purity in the deep chuckles.

~~~~~

Friday morning's visit to Farlan had gone well, no one else around as you presumed it was too early for the other patients to be up and about. The man had seemed well and the three of you chatted together in his room for the hour, sharing the tub of leftover confectionary you'd brought. Levi had been using his sanitizer quite often, something you took note of but kept quiet. He was probably just as nervous as you were about your first session, so you had let him continue with his coping mechanism.

The reason for the anxiety was now upon you, both sitting in the pleasant waiting room as soft music played through the speakers, some kind of pan pipe track that was supposed to calm troubled minds. In reality, it annoyed the fuck out of you, made your teeth hurt and ears itch. "What the fuck is this shit?" Levi obviously didn't think much of it either and you tightened the hold you had on his hand, smiling weakly at his gripe.

The doctor appeared and quietly spoke your name. With a racing heart, you turned to the man by your side and shrugged. "Here we go. I love you." He gave you a strong hug and whispered in your ear. 

"Love you too, (F/N). Now get your ass in there and remember, I'm right here waiting for you." As you walked away, he watched your timid steps and pulled out the small bottle from his pocket, ridding himself of any filth he might have picked up on the journey here.

Furniture was arranged differently today, the two chairs facing one another and a strange looking stick on a pole sat in here. You were offered a seat and the man explained how it worked, giving the same kind of line that the booklet had, just with some additions. The stick would have a light running across that you had to follow with your eyes and he would be tapping on your knees one after the other in a rhythm. It wasn't hypnotism, but trying to get the brain into an almost dream state to deal with the memories.

You spent some time discussing your happy place, something that sounded awfully new age and hippy-shit to you, but it also made sense - an anchor and also a recollection to bring out after you'd finished. The one you thought of was obvious - lying on the roof and watching the stars with Levi. The doctor made you close your eyes and remember everything about the moment, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings. Once it was solidified, he moved the equipment into place, the light stick between you and he placed a hand on each of your knees. "Ok. I want you to purposefully bring one of your flashbacks out. Think about it deeply, how it made you feel, what was going on at the time. Everything, and we'll talk. I'll then start the eye movements and discuss it more. If you want to stop at any time, just raise a hand. Off you go, (F/N)."

With a deep breath, you consciously allowed your mind to open, something you'd never done before. It had always been against your will but now you were in a safe environment, you kicked down that mental door. It was the river. The one that made you have a panic attack when it had first appeared on Saturday. You didn't have to describe it, just remember all the little details. "How do you feel?" Shakily, you let him know exactly what was going on in your head and body, the tight chest, aching lungs, but you didn't sense being useless. What came out was unexpected. 

"I wasn't fighting back. I let it happen." That was new.

Once you had explored every avenue, the lights came on and you followed the tracing movements left and right as your knees were tapped. "Keep it all in the fore of your thoughts." You did and felt a slight calm from the seemingly pointless motion. "So you didn't fight it. That means you were in control, not your brother. You could have stopped it but you chose not to. That's a positive emotion." As your eyes continued, he carried on putting a spin on the event that was favourable and supportive, essentially reprocessing your brain to find this a constructive event. The pain in your chest lightened, as did the horror.

This went on for an hour, other angles delved into and at the end you were instructed to close your eyes and recall your happy place. After a few minutes of filling your thoughts with Levi and the picnic on the roof, you were smiling and the doctor asked you to open your lids again. "How are you?"

"Ok. I feel ok. A bit tired to be honest."

"That's to be expected. You've done very well, (F/N). The whole purpose of this is to recondition you and give the ability to feel good about yourself again."

"It's strange how it works."

"I suppose it is but like I said, I've had good results with this." He explained some techniques to use alone, breathing exercises and the speed to move your eyes at if another memory surfaced in between sessions, how to cope. "You could ask your boyfriend to tap on your knees or hands too if that helps." The idea made you hold in a laugh for some reason and you realised that here you sat, having truly thought about one of the torturous events fully and you were trying not to burst into fits of giggles. "Now, you have my number. I'll see you same time next week but if you need anything in the meantime, call."

The session ended with your thanks and gratitude and you strode out to the waiting room, ready to take on the world. Levi wasn't expecting that kind of entrance and was pleasantly surprised as he closed his book and stood, your smiling face walking towards him. "All good?" You hugged him tight and sighed, replying with a calm voice. 

"Yes, that was bizarre. I feel better, in control." He squeezed back and you once more bid farewell to the lady on reception, using her name that you had spotted on her badge earlier. Again, those personal touches you learnt from your dad coming into play.

On the walk back you described it to your lover, all the details and feelings and how the doctor turned everything to a positive. Perhaps this might work, he thought and felt his own trepidation fizzling away. Once back at the house, you remembered something that had been missed out due to the hospital visit and your appointment. "Up for training?" Levi smiled and looked over at your openly grinning face. 

"What, a chance to kick your ass? Always."

He let you try the throws again, convinced that the mental clouds last time you had done this along with how you whited out in rage were a thing of the past. It was going well and despite his blocks, you almost managed it on a few occasions.

"Come on, you're not even fucking trying (F/N)."

"Yes I am. Don't worry, I'm not holding back, believe me."

"Looks like it. That last attempt was laughable. You actually tickled me a bit."

"Oh, you're going to regret that."

"Really? Go on then." With a smirk, you launched at his form, landing blows and defending his, all the while looking for the moment to strike. Each time you were denied and a pang of shame shot through your being as you felt yourself being taken into a position that would mean he got to floor you first. Sure enough, the wind was knocked from you as the padded surface met your body and you lay panting. "Well, that's put me in my fucking place, hasn't it?" His sarcastic purr was enough to get you going again and you leapt up, ready to pounce.

"Stop being so goddamn cocky, Levi. Just admit it, you like being on your back as much as I do."

"True, but there are many other enjoyable positions."

"Such as?"

"You know full well, (F/N)."

"Nah, must've forgotten." You made your move as he was momentarily occupied with lewd thoughts and deftly brought him to the ground with a grunt of effort. Grey eyes flashed up as you wiped the back of your hand across your brow to remove the sweat, breaths deep and ragged. 

"Nice. Good fucking effort. That's a perfect place to call time for the day." He spoke with a husky voice, gazing over your skin that gleamed with hard work, slightly visible muscle tone standing out on your arms.

"What? You scared I'll get you again, Levi?"

"No. I'm fucking horny." You burst out laughing and watched as he sprung up, pacing towards you with intent. The look on his face told you this was going to happen right now and your giggles ceased. 

"No, no, not here, what if…" His mouth on yours stopped any concerns and you were caught up in the moment instantly, the feel of his touch and the depth of the kiss burning through your veins. He drew back, biting lightly at your bottom lip, smirk on his face. 

"Not here, no, I agree." He grabbed your hand and led you out into the main gym, empty apart from the couple and suddenly you were pulled into the equipment room. It actually doubled as a shower and changing area too so there was a lock, one which he took advantage of quickly.

The embrace started up where it had left off, moans bouncing around the small area and you tore at each other's clothing. There wasn't time for it all to come off so you focussed on the bottom half only, his erection springing free as you yanked on his boxers. In seconds, your shorts were discarded and his impatience took over. Levi ripped your knickers off, literally. The lacy item was rendered useless and it was thrown to the floor, his strong hands making light work of splitting the delicate fabric. It was incredibly arousing, the low growl that had accompanied the action turning you on immensely. "God (F/N), I want you so bad."

You jumped up, legs wrapped around his body and arms holding on tightly as he carried you over to the large but squat cupboard that contained a variety of items such as pads to spar with. Hands grabbed at your thighs and two mouths were joined together for the whole of the short journey, ending with you being placed on top of the surface, perfect height for what you were about to do. Lips kissed hungrily at your neck as fingers trailed down to rub at your clit, causing you to call out in pleasure. "Ah Levi…shit…stop, just fuck me." You felt him smiling. This was too good an opportunity to let pass and regardless of his own desire, Levi decided to treat you to a dose of your own teasing medicine.

"Now now, have patience." He moved down, kneeling up before you, hands caressing your legs and inner thighs, agonisingly close to the spot you wanted him to touch. 

"Piss off, oh god..." It was working, the clear sound of need in your words making him feel empowered. He left small kisses as he worked slowly from your knee upwards, hands on your waist and just as he reached the prize, he stopped. "Levi what the fuck are you doing to me, fuck sakes." It came out in a long, fast hiss and he watched you move your hips forward to try and get closer. 

"What is it you want, (F/N)?" He knew it wouldn't embarrass you, he just needed to hear your dirty voice. 

"Lick me then fuck me. Now."

"I love it when you talk fucking nasty." He obeyed your growled command, tongue running up your entrance in a delicious trail and he heard your loud groan. 

"Yea, that's it…shit." Levi concentrated on the most sensitive spot, knowing that he couldn't hold back for long as the noises you made were intoxicating. Sucking and nipping, he made sure to keep it slow and he felt your fingers tangle in his hair as you called out. "Ohhhhh god that's fucking amazing…fucking hell." He felt you start to move against him and lost it, standing as he wiped his mouth on his top. You let out a strangled sound of frustration but stopped as he pressed in close. Reaching down, you took hold of his cock, tip dripping in precum as you ran your thumb over it.

Levi hissed and you guided him in, rock hard member thrusting upwards to fill you. He leant forwards and you placed your hands behind you on the surface, his own splayed out next to your smaller ones as he began his strong, urgent pace. Your lips touched but didn't kiss, breaths exchanged along with feverish words. "Fuck…is this what you wanted?" You couldn't answer coherently so just mumbled a line filled with expletives as the speed picked up. It was going to be quick, the way your man let out a sound of animal passion with every push confirming that he had the same knot forming within.

The hold you had on the cupboard was relinquished in favour of a tight grip on his ass, pulling him in deeper still. "Fuck it…oh god…oh yes..." Losing all sense of reality, you stared into the blown pupils that were trained on yours as he panted fast. 

"(F/N), I'm…ahhh, fuck." Pounding with incredible speed, you both felt on the edge and started to unravel in a mix of sighs, moans and voices. There was a knock at the door, insistent and loud but it was no use, neither of you could stop now. With wide eyes you gasped, dropping your head onto Levi's shoulder and taking his t-shirt into your mouth to try and stifle the cries. He pressed his lips together and looked up at the ceiling as Hange shouted through. 

"Are you in there? Hey?"

Muffled noises sprung from your soul as you clamped your teeth on the fabric, dampening the sound of your orgasm as it sent you insane with a bright flash of ecstasy. "Mmmmm ghaaaaad…" Levi came instantly at the noise with violent motions, thrusting in as he let out his own release, deep sounds vibrating in his throat.

"Hmm..mmm…mmmmmm!" Somehow the pair of you had managed to keep relatively quiet and as the movements slowed, you took in deep breaths and locked gazes, both smiling with euphoria and trying not to laugh. 

"Hey! You guys ok?" A stern response was given, his face betraying the voice. 

"Yes, now fuck off."

"What are you….oh…ok…erm, just wanted to tell you Erwin was back. Right. I'll…"

"You're still fucking here."

"I'm going…"

"Just piss off."

"….sorry."

The sound of a door let you know she'd finally gone and lips took yours gently. "God I fucking love you." Levi stroked your hair as he spoke, eyes searching for something. He saw his excalibur and reached for the towel, pulling out of you with a slight sigh and wiped what he could from both bodies gently. Your underwear was useless so you stuck the bundle of torn lace in the pocket of his sweats as you pulled on your shorts, grin in place the whole time. 

"One off my list." Your lover turned as he gathered the towel up with a grimace, yearning to get rid of it but interested to hear the rest of what you had to say. "Well, it's not exactly public sex, but close enough. The fear of being caught is a fucking turn on. And that time in the kitchen doesn't count, no one was here." The dark haired man smirked, raising an eyebrow in your direction as he replied. 

"We can explore that further another time (F/N). Now, let's go shower."

~~~~~~

Dinner was a light and fun, Erwin giving you all a blow by blow account of his time away, stories of his children and the trouble they got into. True to his word, he had brought presents back and as the meal came to an end, he fetched them from the bag he had stashed under the table. A bottle of scotch for Mike, one you could only pick up back home, duty free aftershave for Bertolt and a box of Hange's favourite chocolates. She looked ready to explode, now completely over the shock of her previous interruption at the gym. "Oh Erwin, you're such a dear!" A sloppy kiss was placed on his cheek and Levi leant in, speaking in conspiring tones. 

"Watch out. She's moving in on your floor. Lock your fucking doors." The woman shot him a look of annoyance and started to point out exactly why she had to change rooms, only to be stopped by a large hand held up. 

"I don't blame you Hange. Just don't keep me awake like these two did."

Laughter rang out at the crowded table, the six of you the only ones left in the dining room now and Erwin passed your gift over. It was a book, one on the history of your birthplace, photos from years gone by and tales of local occurrences. "Thank you, this is…I…just, thank you!" You leapt up and gave the big man a hug, glad to see him back but also hugely appreciative of the thoughtful present, his voice letting you know it was his pleasure. Once you had removed yourself from the blonde, he reached in and brought out the last item for Levi, another book but by the look on the head of security's face, it wasn't as serious as yours.

You watched your lover stare at the cover as he was given another small parcel. "Fuck off Erwin." The man in question laughed heartily and the others frowned and tried to get a look at what he had bought. The book was tossed heavily onto the table top in between plates and you read the title upside down. 'Self Help - How To Stop Your Mood Swings.' Clamping a hand over your mouth, you started to giggle and lost it completely as the other item was revealed. A stress ball. Hange was slapping her hand on her thigh as she laughed uncontrollably, the three other men joining in with good natured chuckles. "I'd rather have had the fucking scotch."

Erwin shook his head and grinned at Levi's grumbles, bringing out another bottle of the same brown liquid he had given to Mike, passing it to his friend with a wink. "Much better at lightening your mood." A small shadow of a smirk tugged on the pale man's lips as he gave a look of thanks.

Proceedings had been moved to the drawing room after plates were tidied and you smiled over as Hange got a bit closer to Bertolt on one of the sofas, near enough to suggest he was maybe a little less scared of her now since she last mentioned it yesterday. The ridiculously tall security guard looked relaxed but still had that image of mild terror on his face, one you presumed was just his resting expression. You leant backwards and took in the chatter, Levi's arm across the back of the couch behind you but not quite touching. He had crossed his leg over the other so his body angled towards yours, as close to a display of affection as either of you would intentionally get in front of an audience.

Leafing through your new book, you came to a page with a black and white picture, one which was a familiar scene. It showed a part of town you had visited often, the small tea room that served the most delicious scones. You could almost taste them, the way they were always warm, covered in butter and strawberry jam making you crave one right now. Something else tried to surface as your past was recalled and instead of resisting, you let it come out. Levi noted the change in your breathing, the steady rhythm and technique one that you had explained to him earlier. He saw how you tapped your thumbs and forefingers together in a kind of tiny pinch, alternating hands. Your eyes stayed still though, the doctor having suggested this way to start with and see how you got on.

Watching closely, your man made sure you still seemed alright and observed as the movements came to a stop. Leaning in, he whispered as the loud conversation continued around him. "All good?" Looking round, your gazes met and noses nearly touched as you hadn't realised how close he was. With a flutter in your heart, you nodded slightly and smiled. 

"Yea, it worked. Thank fuck for that." A total disregard for the others in the room took over, the joy at the apparent success of your first lone attempt was now the only singular thought in mind as you kissed softly. Whistles and jeers called out and the two of you just kept your eyes on each other, small smiles on your buzzing lips. Maybe being yourselves wasn't going to be that bad after all.


	23. Down Time

Three weeks had passed by since the evening of Erwin's return and it was like he had never been away, slipping back into the role effortlessly. It meant there was one extra person to take on the work so Levi wasn't posted on the gate so often, a fact that was equally cherished by you both. No standing still for long periods of time meant less massages were needed and therefore the chances of another embarrassing moment were decreased. Hange had finally moved upstairs, closer to the man she was still trying to get involved with. Her and Bertolt had their share of liaisons, so she told you frequently with misty eyes, but he still seemed to be reticent to open up, preferring to let her do the talking and just agreeing with everything she said.

It was aggravating for your friend, someone so seemingly weak willed was an unknown to her, but the woman was determined that there was something interesting underneath the timid exterior, other than his annoying habit of springing into a sweat when she got close. Your father had been constantly busy, visiting politicians and heads of state, accompanied once again by Erwin. There had been another fancy dinner at the house, one which you took in your stride, confidently informing anyone who asked that you weren't wasting a second thought on Jean and in fact there was someone very special in your life now. That was as far as it went. Having the staff and your friends know was becoming bearable, but these pompous pricks would get nothing personal from you ever again.

The small group of six that had gotten together on that Friday evening a few weeks ago regularly caught up over drinks, a collection of people that you and Levi were comfortable with enough to let some of your shared love creep out. You hadn't become that couple who were draped all over each other constantly, never would be, but it was nice to be able to sit close, give gentle touches to one another when passing a drink across or getting up to fetch something. Such a small thing to some, but for the two of you it was a turning point that allowed others in to the relationship, a show of your devotion.

Therapy had been going brilliantly and each Friday that had passed was filled with a visit to Farlan, then followed by your appointment. Levi's friend was doing well, sometimes Isabel came out but the male personality seemed to be dominating for now. Gebhard had mentioned it could signal a period of calm in the man's life, happy to be himself more often, something that lifted the spirits of you both.

This morning's time had been spent looking through the box of photos that had been unearthed recently, the two men laughing and describing each scene to you. The story where Levi had to run right after the picture was taken had been your favourite. For some reason, the pair had decided it would be a good idea to take a snap with their newly acquired loot, a crate of beer to be precise. Unfortunately, Erwin had turned up just as Farlan pressed the button, both narrowly evading capture.

Right now you were coming to the end of your fourth session, eyes closed as you brought the memory of the roof to mind, work done for the day. Once fully stable, you looked over at the doctor and saw the small smile on his face. "Good (F/N). Very good. So you're managing fine at home?" You nodded, letting him know that the breathing and taps worked well; only once had you used the eye movements when a particularly strong memory emerged. Usually now you could feel it coming and removed yourself from company, seeking peace to process the recollection and put it away again in the recesses of your brain. It wasn't repressing them anymore, but handling them better. As you described all of this, the man's smile remained and even grew larger.

"I think it might be time to let you go it alone, (F/N). Your techniques are working, mind reconditioned enough to handle your flashbacks. How do you feel about that?" In honesty, you felt great. Strong.

"I'd like to try it out. I think I'm ready."

"So do I. But remember, I'm here if you need any assistance. Just keep up what you're doing and once everything has been released, you should be able to start moving on to normality. Cope and go forwards." He stood and held a hand out, but you ignored the proper action usually employed in this situation and gave him a hug, one which he reciprocated with a laugh.

"Thank you so much, I owe you my sanity. I can't begin to explain."

"You're welcome (F/N), don't mention it. And you owe your sanity to yourself. You made this work." Still putting the positive on everything, he smiled as you bid him farewell, preferably forever. It was meant in the nicest possible way. Levi waited as always in the room and closed his book as you rushed over, standing to take you in his arms when you threw yourself into his embrace. 

"Did he…?" You'd discussed this already, both of the impression that it could be dealt with at home now. Some research into the therapy had also been done, finding out that it usually only lasted a few sessions. 

"Yup. I'm now officially able to stop myself from going bat shit crazy."

He smiled and gave you a gentle kiss, hand running through your hair. "I'm so fucking proud, (F/N). Now come on. You have a date with a rather dashing gentleman."

"Who would that be?"

"Brat. Me, of course."

"I wouldn't call training a date, Levi."

"Who said anything about training? I can wait and kick your ass tomorrow. Right now, we celebrate." He was sure there would be more flashbacks, positive in fact and it might get hard at times. But it was a huge step towards being free of them, a doctor's sign off meaning so much.

"I'm only in jeans and a t-shirt…."

"Shut the fuck up and just come on. I never said I was taking you anywhere nice, did I?" With a spring in your step you left the building, thanks and a goodbye given to the lady at the front, hoping to never have to come back again.

The air was warm and pleasant, sun mixing with the light breeze to create what was probably one of your favourite things about this town. It was almost like a coastal atmosphere and if you closed your eyes, you could imagine the smell of the salt water and the sound of waves in an ocean. So you did, lids dropping as you breathed in the fresh scent with a smile. Not the best of plans it seemed as you walked straight into a lamp post, shouting out as your shoulder collided with the metal pole. "Ouch, fuck!" You kicked it for daring to get in your way, glaring at the inanimate object as a small chuckle sounded out next to you. 

"Perhaps opening your eyes when walking would be a good fucking idea (F/N)? Do I need to buy you a white stick?" Elbowing sideways, you turned the scowl on him and stuck your tongue out.

Grumbling the whole way on your short journey, you failed to notice where he was taking you, frowning up as home came into view. "This is a date?" Levi just smirked and walked you across the grounds, a few people waving over in greeting. Up in your room, you sighed and flopped down onto the sofa, confused and also slightly tired from the session. He had known that would be the case and intentionally brought you back to regroup first. 

"I don't want to be walking about with a zombie. Take a nap first. You must be shattered." His voice was gentle and caring, full of love and understanding and you rose, making for the bed and grabbing his hand. 

"Lie with me?" Since the start of the therapy, you'd been unable to sleep without touching a part of him, a comfort you needed despite your increasingly strong mind. 

"Whatever the lady wants. Just let me get my book, otherwise I'm going to be bored shitless for an hour."

It had actually been more like three hours, your eyes gummy with slumber as you peeled them open to the afternoon sun. Maybe it was around four or five o'clock, you weren't sure but as your vision cleared, a leather novel came into view as it rose and fell steadily with Levi's breaths from where it lay open on the man's chest. His face was calm and frown-free, the light shining across his features in a beautiful shard from the window. He'd gazed upon your form when you slept before, but you rarely got the chance as he usually woke first, so this was an opportunity to smile and watch, one you took gladly. The day had gone so well and this was just one more thing to make it seem like a perfect moment. That was until he opened his eyes.

"Fuck. What time is it? Ahh my fucking back." Brows were knotted again as usual and you grinned, stroking his hair back from his face. 

"I'm going to guess half four, Levi. Need me to help?" He turned to face you, grimacing as his muscles protested at being prone for so long. 

"Fuck yes. God, I feel old." Tutting, you moved so he could roll on his front, straddling his upper thighs and pushing up his top. 

"Where?" He just mumbled a single syllable, so you presumed it was the normal place, digging in with force on the small of his back. 

"Ow! Shit, that's right."

"I'm telling you now, this will stop if you can't keep your voice down."

"Fuck off. It's not my fault you're so damn good at thi…ahhhh, yes."

"I mean it Levi. I'm not going through this again."

"Fucking prude. Ok, I'll try." Your man did his best, face in the duvet so his cries were muted as you worked at the tense knots. After ten minutes you sat up and sighed, cracking your knuckles to bring some life back into your fingers as he spoke. "Thanks. Fucking needed that." He spun and you fell to the side, clinging on to the bed as he displaced your body, muttering over as he made for the shower. "Hange brought your post up earlier."

The pile on the table was probably full of shit, but you picked through it anyway. Junk was interspersed with a couple of letters, both something your friend could respond to much better than you could. In amongst it all was a flier announcing a folk band at a local pub tonight at eight. Not usually your scene, but it had been ages since you'd been out and heard some live music. Frowning, you wondered just when Hange had delivered this as you'd either been out or asleep most of the day. Realisation sank in as you looked up at the wet man that stood in the doorway to the bathroom, towel rubbing at his hair and a smug expression in place as he opened his mouth. "Anything interesting?" Grinning, you shook your head at the gesture, a throw back to his previous desire to press you towards a good night out.

"Might be. But you'd know anyway, Levi." He started to get dressed and jabbed a thumb behind him, ordering you into the shower. You stayed still though and held up your index finger, breathing measured and eyes closed as you let the door in your mind open up once more, tapping motion now in effect. He watched closely, that same pride he felt earlier welling up again as you dealt with your demons expertly. After a few minutes, you recalled the night on the roof to restore balance and eventually came out of the concentration.

"All good?" Those two words usually followed this now, Levi's way of not forcing the issue but making sure you knew he was there. 

"Yea." It came out in a sigh as you put hands on hips, surveying the room. "I'm good. Right. Shower." The moment had gone as quickly as it had arrived and as you let the water run over your skin, a feeling of contentment settled in. You were fighting this and you were winning.

Now the battle over what to wear commenced, unsure what else you'd be doing tonight. You'd never gone out together as a couple for relaxation purposes and you wanted to be comfortable but presentable at the same time. Hair dried and tangle free, you opened the wardrobe and stared in, glancing round to see what the man in the room was wearing. Black jeans and shirt, but the sleeves were rolled up and it wasn't tucked in. So smart causal, then. Pulling out your own denims, you wiggled in and secured the button, reaching in for a top. It was still warm so you didn't want to be too covered up and selected a light garment, dark in colour but sheer, like the one you wore to the fateful party at the castle. Shit, that seemed like years ago.

Opting for a black bra this time, you got dressed and checked your appearance, the floating fabric hanging down in waves. The sky was clear and you weren't sure how late the night would be so grabbed a pashmina in your favourite colour, wrapping it around your bare shoulders. Your small bag was stuffed with essentials; cigarettes, phone and money, grey eyes watching the whole thing. Make up was light and your hair was natural. Giving him a twirl, you looked for approval and he nodded once. "Very nice. Might want some shoes, though." Damn. Shuffling through those on offer, you picked a pair of flat black pumps that had a bow on the fronts, a small detail that made them slightly more dressy than your usual. "Finally (F/N). Let's go."

"Hang on."

"What now?"

"Just a sec."

"How long does it fucking take?"

"To look this good? Ages. Don't rush perfection." Levi smiled at your sarcastic comment, knowing full well you weren't one of those people who were full of themselves, it was all in jest. Dabs of your personal perfume were added in the right places and you put the bottle back. "Right. Ready."

"About fucking time." He was right by you in a flash, arms around your waist and he pulled you in for a kiss, breathing in the delightful scent and humming with satisfaction. Lips were now at your ear then neck, hungrily pecking at the soft skin, voice growling against your flesh as you let out a sigh. "Better fucking go or I won't be able to stop." His actions went against his words, fingers pushing at the delicate shawl to expose your shoulder as you rubbed at his crotch. "Fuck it, stop that (F/N). We're on a fucking schedule." Still, he didn't cease and hands were now trailing up your sides under your top, searching and squeezing. 

"Levi, shit…we haven't got time to shower again..."

The harsh truth made him snarl and pull away, eyes gleaming with silver as you straightened yourself out, cheeks tinted with pink and perfect lips parted, whole being radiating lust. "Damn. You wait til we get back (F/N). The things I'm going to do to you." He didn't wait for his excitement to dim, there seriously weren't enough hours in the day to hang around so he pulled you close and made you walk in front, just in case you ran into anyone.

~~~~~~

The first port of call was a bar, early evening drinks shared outside in the pleasant dusk that was descending, chatting about more stories that had began in the hospital this morning. Levi spoke with unusual animation, his standard deadpan tone present for the most part but the light in his eyes and active gesticulations told you he was enjoying discussing the fond memories. "And then Farlan fucking shouted like he was Tarzan or something, running full speed to the end of the jetty and jumped for the boat. Of course, he fucking missed and ended up nearly drowning, all because he wanted to impress a girl." You giggled, watching him smile and shake his head at his friend's stupidity. "Anyway, you must have more shit to tell? Won't be as good as getting stuck in the toilets though."

Sticking your finger up, you pouted but smirked as you picked up your glass to take a sip, about to launch into an embarrassing story involving a lot of alcohol and a lot of sick. Your first word got cut off as you looked over the street to another bar, a familiar pair of faces sitting talking with serious looks. Nudging Levi gently, you pointed and his expression darkened. It was bound to happen, this town was small but nevertheless he gripped onto the table with anger as he tried to contain the volcano of rage that bubbled up inside. Jean and Marco spoke to one another, a conversation that didn't seem to be going well at all. The freckled man stood, only to be yanked back down by a strong arm and you tensed, hating the ferocity with which he had been handled. This guy was far too nice and good mannered to be with someone like the major.

They were so caught up that you could have gone over and danced by their table and still the two wouldn't notice. "Fucking bastard." The growl by your side was threatening, soaked in venom and you put a hand on his, speaking quietly. 

"Don't. He's not worth it. Let's go, yea? Forget that piece of shit." Levi knew you were right, knew he had to let it go and get on with the plans you had together. Standing, he shot a parting glare to the man and you walked away, leaving them behind. The short walk cleared his head a little, allowing the recent light hearted evening to continue as you reached a restaurant. It was a small establishment, like all the places round here and he gestured for you to enter first.

It was a hive of activity, waiters rushing around and diners talking joyously as they ate, not something you would have thought the man behind you would enjoy. As if to solidify the presumption, the suited maître d swept the couple away upstairs to an al fresco area that had only one other table occupied, quiet music playing. It wasn't a fancy affair, all the patrons wore similar to the two of you and the mood was casual. Trees lined the edges of the roof garden and the fading sun was trailing away, the sparkle of stars making an appearance.

"It's beautiful Levi." He nodded and gazed across to the figure who stared up into the sky, enraptured by the innocent face that took in the scenery, Jean now forgotten completely. A waiter came to take drinks orders, scurrying away to fill the request efficiently. In no time at all, he was back. Wine was poured and he gave you a minute to make a food choice, disappearing downstairs once more. Levi held his drink up in a toast, eyes flashing as they locked onto yours over his glass. 

"To the most amazing woman in the whole fucking world." Against your will, a blush crept onto your cheeks and you smiled, unsure how to answer the massive compliment. He didn't let you have a try and carried on. "We've been through some shit, (F/N), but here we are, still alive and still going strong. Long may it fucking last."

The meal was wonderful, conversation jovial. You refrained from telling the story that had been on your mind earlier, dinner not being the right place for discussions around vomit. Instead, you were nearing the end of another one, not a particularly funny tale but heart warming at least. "So, my dad got down on one knee and asked mum to marry him again, do it all over and renew their vows. He was so happy Levi, such a lust for life back then. It's one of my fondest memories of the two of them. There aren't many, hardly saw them for years because of work. Maybe I'm making up for lost time."

The man watched you closely as (e/c) eyes became thoughtful and listened as you continued. "What do you think? I know I stay for dad, he seems so fragile over mum sometimes but I can't help wonder if there's something more I could be doing. I don't know." A hand covered yours and he smiled, rubbing at your skin as he gave his opinion. 

"You do what you have to, (F/N)." It was all he had to say, a new found desire to achieve now settled deeply within your soul. Levi sensed the change and shook his head.

"What?" You didn't understand why he was looking so smug.

"Oh, nothing. Just you."

"I don't get it."

"You're hatching a plan. Don't deny it, I've spent too much time in the presence of the princess, I know that fucking look."

"I'm not…I mean…oh fuck off." Both of you laughed quietly, night now wholly upon the town as the moon shone down, bathing the rooftop with soft light. The bill was paid and you got up to leave, glad of your last minute clothing choice, pashmina draped around your upper body as two figures made their way slowly across town to the pub that would be hosting the entertainment. It was cosy but large enough to hold a crowd, small stage constructed in the far corner to elevate the band slightly above everyone else. Tables were dotted around and you found an empty one in a secluded corner, dim lights casting an orange glow on the whole interior. Levi returned from the bar with a bottle and two glasses, setting you up for the night.

It got quite busy but no one stood, it wasn't that kind of gig and the already weak bulbs were lowered even further as people broke into applause at the appearance of the quartet. A woman headed the group, voice sweet yet sorrowful as they began to play. There were a few lively numbers, but mostly their tunes were sombre, lilting melodies picked out expertly by the simple instruments - a guitar, violin, small handheld drum and a tin flute that the vocalist played in between her other parts. Currently, they were in the middle of a particularly sad piece, one about a man who had left for war never to return, his unborn child a secret back home that he wouldn't ever know about.

As you listened, something clicked. The woman's tones were made even more lamentable because she was singing in the native language, lending itself much better to this kind of thing more so than yours. You realised that most of the time, as usual, you didn't even notice the change in tongue, slipping from one to the other with ease. Levi could obviously get by too and now you thought about it, he perhaps spoke it rather fluently. Leaning close, you whispered to him so as not to disturb anyone nearby. "Do you understand everything she's saying?" He nodded his head slowly, body moving sideways to continue the quiet conversation with murmurs.

"Some. Most of it, actually. I get the general idea."

"I never noticed before, but you seem to do well out at the shops and stuff?"

"I know all the useful bits. Curses, insults, how to order a drink, how to tell some piece of shit to put their hands on their head and get on the fucking ground. That kind of thing." You let out a tiny laugh through your nose, aware he was better than he was letting on and sipped your wine as another glaring point came to mind.

"The hospital…?"

"Picked it for a few reasons, one being that all the residents are from back home. Farlan can just about manage his own fucking dialect, let alone another one."

"Is it like a place for ex-pats?"

"Something like that, I think." There was another question in your head, an odd one but it needed asking as you were clearly unaware of it.

"Do I ever talk to you in this place's language?" A small smirk appeared on his lips but he kept his eyes forward, like he had done the whole exchange.

"Sometimes." He took a drink and leant back against the padded chair, looking like smugness personified and the song came to an end. You gave a ferocious round of applause along with the rest of the pub, Levi the only exception. He only ever seemed to clap slowly in sarcasm if you had a moment of stupidity or something. A more up-beat song came on, double ended stick beating on the drum with the musician's deft flicks of his wrist. The audience began to tap their feet and slap their hands on tables in time to with the rhythm but you turned to the man by your side, frown in place.

"What do you mean? When?" Pale features finally met yours, mouth pulling up into a small, satisfied smile.

"Here and there. Mainly when I'm fucking you." Your eyes widened and prickles of heat spread across your face and neck, flush on your skin not letting you get away with making some kind of smart retort, so instead you explored his comment with more than slight embarrassment.

"Oh god. Really?!"

"Yup. It's quite fascinating."

"Piss off."

"It is, (F/N). And a fucking turn on, so don't stop." Giggles leapt from your mouth, amused at yourself. What a bizarre time to start talking in a foreign tongue?

"Jesus, I never had any idea."

"Well, like I said, I know all the curses. But there is one thing I've been meaning to ask you about." He could have looked online, but this was far more entertaining and as he purred it with an expert accent, you turned pretty much purple. "Judging by that face, I can presume it's a fucking good one, yes?"

"Sod off Levi. Look in a phrase book."

"I did. Wasn't fucking in there." Of course not. It was something that you'd picked up from Annie and you weren't even sure if it was just a local thing, or more of a country-wide phenomenon.

"There isn't a proper translation, it's a saying that can't be broken down, it would lack the full meaning."

"Why don't you give it a try (F/N?)" He was enjoying himself, watching your eyes roll in frustration as you attempted to put into one language that which was a native expression.

"Alright, but it's not going to sound half as good." Sighing, you gazed down into your wine and delivered the uncouth version of what could actually be a rather seductive sounding utterance. "Literally translated, I suppose it means 'fuck me so hard that I go blind.' So, you can see how it loses it's charm." Levi looked ready to explode with irritating self assurance, silver flashes in his eyes that screamed power.

"You're right. Sounds much better the other fucking way." Now it was emblazoned on his mind, all he could hear was your husky voice speaking the more eloquent words as his earlier impatience finally got the better of him. "We're going. Now." With a yelp of excitement, you grabbed your things and rushed out after your lover into the cool evening air, shawl wrapped tight. Levi wished this damn town had heard of the wonderful invention called 'a cab', as surely this journey would be far too time consuming for him to wait. He strode with purpose as you struggled to keep up, legs almost jogging and you called out breathlessly. 

"Hey, slow down!"

The snarl you got in response said exactly why that was not an option. "(F/N), I'm not going to last much longer so hurry the fuck up." Laughing, you hurried along, mind turning to equally filthy things. In a split second you were pulled sideways, wrist held tightly as you stumbled through some trees in the pitch black, body pushed harshly up against a brick building. Levi's warmth was pressed against you, breaths quick and ragged from the mouth that was close enough to touch yours as he spoke. "Let's tick it off the fucking list properly." Lips connected urgently, hands everywhere as your arousal was increased a hundred times by the prospect of very real and very dirty public sex.

"Fuck Levi…where…oh god…" You spoke in between kisses as your jeans were unzipped, only mildly concerned about what this wall was attached to. When a hand slipped down under your knickers, any thought on the location was gone other than that you could be caught at any fucking moment. Reaching down, you made your way into his underwear, the two of you groping each other and moaning out in the darkness. 

"Shit (F/N), I can't hold back. Get your fucking trousers dow..."

"Who's there? What's going on? Are you ok, Miss?" The lovers froze, eyes wide and hearts pounding as the sound of footsteps crunched on leaves. Quickly, Levi withdrew his hand but stayed in the embrace, not making any other movements. You, however, kept a tight grip and squeezed his member gently. He let out a small, involuntary gasp and the moonlight that trickled through the gaps in the trees allowed you to see his eyes narrow as you smiled back. "Hey, what…oh, sorry Levi. Evening Miss (L/N)." It was one of the agency security guards, the one you had brought a turkey sandwich to on Christmas Day as he stood sentry. "Erm, I should warn you, this garage has been broken into a few times recently, police come by quite often. You might want to, umm, move on? Good night."

He sloped off, noises becoming fainter and you laughed softly. "Fucking mood killer." Levi grumbled at the man who interrupted, but the hard shape in your hand said otherwise. 

"Doesn't feel like it." His gaze pinned you down when you whispered, orbs wavering halfway between lust and anger, but he gained control and stepped back.

"I don't fancy getting fucking arrested today, (F/N). Let's go." He was pissed off and horny, granted, but he couldn't risk the two of you being discovered again. It would undoubtedly result in job loss, shame on your father, perhaps even a custodial sentence. None of those options were worth a moment of sexual pleasure.

The rest of the walk was made with fast strides and suggestive touches, the pair of you unable to keep your hands off each other. As the gates came into view, Levi sighed and sped up even more, destination so deliciously close. What neither of you had banked on was the sound that came from your bag, a shrill beeping that alerted you to a call. Frowning, you pulled it out, unsure who would be ringing at nearly eleven at night. The name made your skin crawl as it could only be bad news and you pressed the button to connect. "Hange, what's wrong?"

"(F/N)? Where are you?"

"At the front gate, why?"

"It's your dad. Come quick!"

You launched into a sprint, shouting to the man behind. "Something's happened to dad!" Two bodies crossed the grounds with speed and pulled the main doors open, the scene inside breaking your heart into a million shards of glass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I couldn't just be nice and fluffy for the whole thing!


	24. Decisions

People were rushing around, most in their night wear as they had been roused by the commotion. Hange knelt on the floor, face fraught and stained with horror. Erwin was on the phone, his deep voice not even registering as you tried to move, but your feet seemed incapable of letting steps occur. It was like your brain had ceased sending electrical impulses to your muscles and (e/c) eyes stared over at the distressing scene, mainly at the blood. There wasn't loads, enough to cause a few gasps from the ever increasing crowd of staff though, but that wasn't what concerned you most. It was the source that did. Your father's head.

His limp body lay at the bottom of the staircase, the hard marble staircase to be accurate, limbs arranged like a rag doll that had just been tossed there and left to die. He had obviously fallen, however you weren't sure how far from, the high possibility of neck and spinal injuries clear in your mind. You'd only been stood there for a few seconds, taking in the chaos and now you moved, sliding over the hard floor and crashing down to your knees beside the unconscious man as Erwin hung up his call and made an announcement.

"Ambulance is on the way." Levi was next to you, staring over at Hange. 

"What happened?" With a small voice, she explained how she had been in the kitchen, scavenging for food and heard a cry. The woman had got in here at the moment your father tumbled down the last three steps but she didn't know where on the stairs he had tripped from. She had some scant medical training and hadn't wanted to put him in the recovery position as it may have risked further injury. Throughout, you just looked at the relaxed expression on your dad's face, the way his chest still moved with his breaths, the picture of tranquillity as if he were asleep. Gently, you stroked his cheek, whispering to him that you were here, it was ok, he would be fine, all the while fighting back tears. It wouldn't help anyone if you broke down and crumbled, that wasn't an option.

Sirens came closer and Erwin ran out to meet them, gathered throng of spectators huddled together and speaking lowly in hushed tones. "Can we have some privacy please?" Your voice was mild, polite and steady, but there was an intent behind the words that told the others they must be obeyed. You hadn't raised your gaze but the shuffle of feet let you know they were leaving. The paramedics burst in and marched over to the patient, strong hands picking you up from the floor and holding tight around your body as you struggled slightly to get back beside the man at the bottom of the stairs. 

"Let them do their job." Levi's soft drawl in your ear made you stop, eyes glaring down to watch the two newcomers.

Observations were made as Hange told of the events, blood pressure cuff pulled out and blocks placed either side of your dad's head to steady his neck. After a while, a board had been brought in and the medics carefully arranged it to expertly slide the stiff item under the injured man. He was secured and with surprising ease, the two picked him up to deliver their charge to the waiting ambulance. Hurrying behind, you stayed close and climbed in to make the journey to the hospital. "I'll drive." Erwin motioned to Hange and Levi as he spoke, beckoning them to follow. Your man paused and looked over to the worried form that sat hunched in the vehicle, her hands clasped and wringing together with concern. Glancing up, you nodded to let him know he should go with his friend and the doors were slammed shut, lights flashing as the short trip began.

It hadn't taken long and now four people stood together in silence, waiting for the doctor to come into the family room and deliver news. An arm was around your waist in support, but no one spoke, minds ticking over with all the possible scenarios. It felt like years were passing by, the harsh lighting causing your eyes to burn and you nervously picked at a loose thread on the seam of your jeans. Patience was wearing thin, the grim anticipation making you want to punch something to get rid of the knot of adrenaline that sat heavily in your chest like a lead balloon.

When the door opened it made you jump, clutching at Levi to steel yourself against the impending diagnosis. The doctor was quite young but had an air of authority as he held out a hand to suggest the group sat. Oh fuck. People only told you to sit if it was bad news. Gritting your teeth, you remained emotionless and did as requested, holding on tightly to your lover's hand and digging your nails in without realising. "Your father has a fractured wrist, luckily no spinal injury has been found but it's hard to tell for sure until he's awake and able to respond to stimulus." He took a deep breath. "Also, a scan has revealed swelling on the brain, a result of the impact." Everything went fuzzy. You knew there were ways to treat it, but you were also aware that the longer the pressure remained, the worse the long term outlook was.

Shapes of the others in the room were soft around the edges, voices muffled like they were talking through a thick sheet of cotton wool. The conversation was continuing without you, dragging onwards with macabre sentences, questions and answers, stern faces nothing but a smudge in your hazy vision. Like some kind of sick, twisted joke, your mind decided that now would be a fantastic time to grace you with a delightful recollection of that cunt of a brother who tortured you. Fabulous. Closing your eyes, you released Levi's hand and started up the tapping motion, hoping that it would be over soon.

The man by your side noticed it instantly and leant forward to listen to the doctor, acting like nothing untoward was happening in the woman next to him. "So, we have Mr (L/N) intubated to provide as much oxygen as possible and some meds are being administered which should help. We're keeping him sedated for now until we know what we're dealing with." Levi nodded and watched the man in the white coat flick his gaze over to you. "Is she alright?" A pale hand was waved to dismiss the query, dark voice providing a curt response. 

"Yes, she's fine. When can we see him?"

The doctor faltered slightly but reverted back to business. "Give us ten minutes to make him comfortable. Someone will be back soon." He shook the hand of the man who seemed to be the one mostly in charge, piercing grey eyes staring up and seemingly invading his thoughts. Quickly, he left the room and strode off to settle his patient in, glad to be rid of the death glare that he'd been treated to.

"What's she doing?" Hange knew you'd been to see someone but hadn't witnessed this first hand before. Levi's response was short. 

"Coping." Everything went quiet again, the rooftop scene now in your memory as you pulled yourself back to reality to see that the medic had gone. "All good?" It referred only to the recent incident and you nodded grimly, turning to your man. 

"What did he say?" He filled you in, bringing you up to speed on the situation with sombre tones. At least they were treating your dad quickly, you thought and looked up as a figure announced that he was ready to be visited.

The usually strong man lay on the bed of the private room, tube providing him life sustaining air through his nose, intravenous bag dripping it's soothing liquid slowly down into your father's arm. He looked so weak, so small, a shell of the person you loved so dearly. Pulling a chair over, you took up position by his side and held his hand, stroking the warm, wrinkled skin. All you could do was wait; wait and see what nature's fate combined with modern medicine would come up with.

~~~~~~

Early morning sun tried to shine through the windows, blocked by the thick blue curtains. Erwin stood by the door, casting his eyes across the scene. Hange was curled up in one of the large seats, sleep having overcome her a couple of hours ago. You had your head laid on your father's bed, cheek pressed into the sheets and hand still holding tight as your own slumber couldn't be ignored any longer. Levi sat next to his woman, leaning back in his chair and staring over with half-shut eyes. Nurses had been in and out to do checks throughout the night and the head of security had his own snooze earlier. No one seemed to mind how many people were in the room, leaving the group to their quiet contemplation.

Hange let out a loud snore and Erwin smiled, a small lift in the mood that he needed so badly. For ten years he had served this man and his family, gone through a number of homes and countries, mourned the death of your mother. It was awful to stand and watch his frail body lying there, any sign of his intelligent nature and warm heart gone in a tangle of cables and machinery. The large man sighed and stepped to the side as a gentle knock sounded at the door. It was the doctor from last night, appearance suggesting that he hadn't been home either. "How is everyone?" Levi had succumbed and now his eyes were shut, leaving the blonde as the only one capable of answering.

"Worried."

"That's understandable. The charts I've been given look encouraging though, I want to try and bring Mr (L/N) round soon, see how he's doing. We'll do a scan first though. Which I'm afraid means we need to wake his daughter." Erwin nodded and moved towards you, hand on your arm. You twitched and sat up, hair stuck to the side of your face and eyes bleary. 

"Wha..?" The kind smile of your father's bodyguard was in your line of sight as he whispered his words. 

"They need to take him for another scan. Doctor says it looks like he's doing well." Fully coherent in a second, you shot up to allow access to the porters who now entered the room. They carefully wheeled the bed away, all the equipment stowed correctly so it wouldn't snag.

"We'll be back soon." The man in white left, only the four members of the household remaining, two of them still asleep. You leant into the large body next to you, Erwin's arm hugging tight as you both let out a small sigh. 

"He's strong, (F/N). He'll be ok."

"Thanks, I know. I just want to talk to him, see his eyes light up. It's heart breaking to watch him so helpless."

"It certainly is. But listen, they sounded hopeful so…"

"Yea. Got to trust the professionals."

"Mmm."

Half an hour passed and you were back in the seat, Erwin by the window as he refused to sit down, preferring to stay alert and on guard at all times. The others still slept, Levi's head rolled down over his chest, black hair spilling across his serene face. Any duties for the two men would have to be taken on by someone else today you imagined, neither of them having enough rest to realistically work efficiently. Same with Hange too. When the door opened again, the bed was pushed through and you sprung to your feet. It was propped up and your dad's eyes weren't closed anymore, small smile on his lips when he saw the gathered people. The cut on his head had been patched during the night, thin line standing out on his skin.

Oxygen was still pumped into his nostrils through the small tubes but the IV line had gone. "Dad!" You practically screamed at the man, the two dreamers jumping as they were rudely awoken. Once the bed was in position, you leant across and gave him a gentle hug, not wanting to cause any pain or knock his wrist that was plastered. 

"(F/N), oh my dear, what have I gone and done?" He said it with a light voice, undamaged arm wrapped around your back and holding tight as you spoke. 

"What happened? Did you trip?" Leaning back, you wiped at the tears that had appeared without you realising, relief spilling out in the droplets that ran down your face.

"I honestly don't know (F/N). I was going down to get a snack, take a break from some late night work and just went flying. Luckily I was only half way up. God, my head hurts." The doctor shuffled through the crowd and you were asked to give him some room. Stepping back, you hit against Levi and stumbled, arms spinning to keep you upright. 

"Tch. Like father like daughter." The bored tone of your lover made everyone else chuckle, even the young medic who tended to his patient. You scowled but without any ill intent, sitting back in your seat and grabbing out to hold hands with the man who had just chided your family traits.

"It could have been an accident, but I want to do some more tests first, rule out any underlying problems." It made sense and you trusted the physician's judgement. Anything could have caused the fall. "Ok, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you all to leave, let Mr (L/N) rest and I can order the tests." The look on your face made him continue. "You can come back for visiting hours this afternoon?" It would have to do, you didn't want to start kicking up a fuss, they had rules and things to get done.

Giving your father another huge hug, you whispered in his ear before kissing his cheek. "Love you. Take care, I'll be back soon." He smiled and nodded slowly, not wanting to move his aching skull too much. 

"Love you too (F/N). Go get some rest, all of you. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." Everyone said their goodbyes and you left, glancing back the whole time to make sure he was still there, still alive and smiling. Erwin drove you all home, eyes heavy and threatening to drop at any moment. Hange kept him alert by talking loudly, chattering incessantly about how nice the doctor was, hoping that your dad was ok, how clumsy he was and how you certainly hadn't fallen far from the tree.

In the back, two hands clutched tightly together as you and Levi laid your heads against the leather seats, exhausted from the lack of sleep and tightly wound nerves. It was all coming out now, bodies giving in to fatigue, eyelids closed as the rhythm of the car rocked you gently. "Aw would you look at that, I feel wide awake now, how about you Erwin? Shall we get some breakfast, I'm starved? Maybe Hannes did a fry up, I hope so, I could eat about eight platefulls right now, is it…"

"HANGE. Stop for breath." The blonde shook his head as he pulled in to the grounds of the house. People heard gravel beneath tyres and in no time, the gardens were full of concerned faces. Sudden lack of motion roused you, gaze staring out at the gathered staff. You stepped out to address them - that was your job right now. 

"Dad's ok. Broke his wrist and had swelling on the brain but they think it's alright. They're doing more tests and I'll be going back this afternoon to see him." A murmur of voices erupted, phrases like 'thank god' and 'out of the woods' coming through as you rubbed your hand across your eyes.

Mike strode through to speak to his boss, organise rotations to allow the two guards to rest. The towering form of Bertolt appeared, brown hair hanging over an uncertain gaze. "I'm glad he's doing better, (F/N)." He seemed to have a few beads of sweat on his brow and they were quickly joined by more as Hange threw herself at him, the verbal outpouring still in effect. With a weak smile, you left them to it and made for the side door, not wanting to go into the main hallway just yet as the image of your father at the foot of the stairs was still too raw. Levi followed after being advised to sleep, take advantage of the day off.

You had showered first, the night's events sticking to your skin. Lying together, curtains closed against the sun, you sighed. "He's going to be ok, (F/N)." You nodded at the words and cuddled closer.

"I hope so Levi. I can't lose him."

"You won't. Now let's get some rest, I'm fucking drained, you must be too."

"I am." That was the last either of you were aware of before passing out into a deep sleep.

~~~~~~

Erwin and Hange had stayed home, not wanting to go in a gang again and you sat in the car as Levi drove to the hospital. "You see that pedal there? Might want to use it. You drive like an old lady." He didn't reply, more than satisfied that he was keeping to the speed limit and ignored the sarcastic comment. "Seriously, I could walk faster." Brakes slammed on as you came to a halt on the quiet road, ticking sound of the orange light at the side of the vehicle indicating you were safely pulled over.

"Go on then."

"What?"

"Walk. I'm not going speeding round the fucking countryside, (F/N)."

"Sorry. Keep going. I'll be quiet."

"Fucking hope so." Levi started off again, well aware you were trying to divert your nerves and worry into a different channel, albeit at the expense of his skills behind the wheel. Buildings let you know your destination had been reached and you carefully parked up. Inside, the correct floor was approached and you hurried to the door of your father's room, heart pounding and hoping all was going well. He was awake and alone. 

"(F/N), Levi, thank god, I was going crazy with boredom." You laughed and held him closely, oblivious to the look passed between the men. It was a serious one, your lover told in one glance that something was wrong.

The doctor entered, knowing you'd be here dead on 2pm. "So, we have the tests back, nothing untoward. It looks like it was purely one of those things. I need to keep Mr (L/N) in for a couple of days for observation, but he should be back home with you soon." Grinning, you turned back and gripped your dad's hand.

"Hear that? Back to normality in no time at all!"

"Yes (F/N), I can't wait."

"Don't worry, I'll keep everyone in check."

"Oh I don't doubt that. Levi, make sure she doesn't go power crazy?" Carefully but playfully, you pushed his shoulder in a show of telling him off but the smile never wavered as the man behind you joined in.

"Of course, Sir. For my own fucking sanity, if nothing else."

You stayed a while, chatting and asking every few minutes how the patient was. He seemed agitated at times, but you presumed it was down to being bed-ridden and bored. Eventually, you were kindly advised by a nurse that it was dinner time and the end of visiting for the day. "(F/N), be a dear and see if you can find that doctor? I want to ask him about speeding this all up." Once you had gone, your father turned to Levi with a grave expression and told him of his fears, ensuring none of it reached you just yet. The younger of the two listened to the suppositions and nodded. He hated having to keep something from you again, but as a man of his word, it meant being discrete and he decided to comply.

The ride home was quiet, both of you in your own world of thoughts and as you reached home, the sound of your stomach growling broke the silence. "Oops, sorry. Actually, we haven't eaten since dinner last night. That was fun. Thank you Levi, I never got the chance to say." He gave you a soft kiss and placed his chin on your head as he wrapped his arms around his woman. 

"You're welcome. Just don't go trying to get me fucking arrested again."

~~~~~~

For the past three days you had been at your father's side whenever possible. If you were asked to leave because it was past visiting hours, you walked around or went to the cafeteria until they let you back in. There had been a steady flow of well wishers, everyone bringing their love and hopes for a speedy return home. Levi came when he could and you hitched a lift from either him or Erwin to ferry you to and from the hospital. It was Wednesday morning and the day he would be allowed to leave. All that you were waiting for was the doctor to sign some paperwork, but as was commonplace in these situations, this took fucking ages. The two of you sat at a small table, the chess board you had brought set on top as you played whilst chatting.

You took a piece in your hand and stopped. This shouldn't be right. With reluctance, you placed it back down gently and looked up in disbelief. "Check mate." Your voice was whispered and uncertain and you locked eyes with the man opposite. "Dad, what just happened?" He frowned, not because he had lost but due to something much worse. He sighed and held your gaze. 

"Side effects of pressure in the brain. All the fun things like confusion, lack of concentration, irritability…wait, hold on." Your father reached into his bag and pulled out a leaflet, finding it easier to let you read it all. Words leapt out at you - headache, dizziness, fatigue, poor memory, trouble sleeping, depression and anxiety. These were cited as long term issues, sometimes never fading.

"Oh dad, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." You hugged him tight as the gravity of the situation took hold. 

"Thank you (F/N). I suppose you can imagine what I might be thinking right now?" It was obvious but you refused to even say the word in your head, let alone out loud, so he did it for you. "Retirement." It wasn't the worst thing that a person could hear by any means, however you knew this man too well to think this was an easy or welcome decision. Sitting back, you studied his face, regret clear along with defiance. "It's the only option. How can I go and talk the talk, influence and win people over if I can't keep hold of my train of thought for five minutes?"

Sighing again, he continued. "The doc told me on Saturday that this kind of thing was a strong possibility, but I didn't want to worry you until I knew. And, well, I know. It could get better, but I'm getting too old for all this shit." You laughed lightly at his curse. "That's the irritability coming out." His small smile was mischievous as he spoke, explaining away his language with a hint of glee as he opened his mouth once more. "It's time, (F/N). I hope you understand."

"Dad? Of course! You don't need to justify yourself to me."

"No, but it means change again. We've been here a long time in that house, I hate disrupting you again."

"Will you leave the country? Go home?"

"This is my home now, there's nothing left back there for me. And I quite enjoy the atmosphere this little town has. I don't want to say too much, I need to speak with a few of you together. But listen, whatever happens, know that I love you."

"Love you too dad." You kept your eyes locked as you tried to convey what words couldn't manage. The moment was broken by a presence, voice low and dark.

"Fucking parking here is so goddamn expensive. You ready to go yet?"

"Patience Levi, you can't account for how busy these people are. Ah, speak of the devil!" The doctor arrived on cue with the paperwork, your father's release sealed with a signature.

"Mr (L/N), you're a free man. Remember, follow up appointment next week." Hands were shaken, meds for pain relief given and finally you were allowed to leave. In the foyer, the medic and his patient spoke briefly and you looked around, eyes caught by a display of brochures. One stood out from the rest and you grabbed it, stashing the small magazine in your bag to read later. Levi spotted the action, obviously, and smiled.

~~~~~~

Five people sat together in the drawing room, chairs pulled around and drinks in hands. Hange, Erwin, Levi and yourself were waiting to find out what the man of the house had to say, two of you aware to some extent. Your father and their employer smiled warmly to those in attendance and began to explain. "I won't beat about the bush, you're all intelligent people." Levi snorted and gestured with his head towards Hange. "And childish at times, thank you for reminding me Levi. Anyway. Shortly I will be retiring. My age and current state of mind have forced my hand." The woman who had just been insulted gasped, hands covering her mouth in shock. "Please, dear, let me finish." She nodded but didn't move from her position.

"I want to stay around here, live out my years in this tranquillity. Of course, I'll still need help, albeit on a smaller scale. I imagine myself like old Pixis, still poking around the outskirts of politics and no doubt my reputation and connections will remain. So, with that in mind, I have a proposition." Everyone stayed silent, eyes on the oldest member of the group. "This is all something you are allowed to say no to, by the way. All I ask is you hear me out before making any comments." Four gazes told him to continue. "Right. Hange. I would love to have you carry on in my employ. Your skills and enthusiasm are things that I'm loathed to leave behind." A small squeak came from the woman but she didn't say a word.

"Erwin, Levi? I trust you with both my life and that of my daughter, always have. You are both great, great men and I would also like to offer you a continuation of your roles." They were more collected than the last reaction, nodding once in recognition. "Obviously things will be different, so here's my plan. I'll downsize, no point staying here and rattling about in an empty home. Hange, if you were to accept, it would make sense to have you live with me, take care of household things and such like."

You grinned as she looked at your father with pride, sure that the woman would accept. "Don't worry dad, I can do the cooking seeing as she certainly can't." Your friend eyed you with annoyance, only able to hold it for all of two seconds before smiling. The man of the moment ignored your comment and continued. 

"Hange, think about who from the kitchens would be good to bring into this hypothetical team. Someone you get on with, but also a competent individual. We don't want burnt toast every morning." Her mental cogs started up and your dad turned to the others in the room.

"I don't think there's a desperate need for onsite security. My profile will be lower, no longer in a position to influence but I do intend on making frequent trips to some people in high places which will, given my past, need protection. There's more than a few individuals out there that I've upset along the way. The work will be less structured I imagine, but the wage will remain the same without a doubt. And that brings me on to the next step." No one spoke and he started with a warning.

"I won't take no for an answer on this. Providing you agree, Erwin, I will make sure you have a home nearby. It's the least I can do. Don't go choosing some penthouse apartment though, no playboy lifestyles I'm afraid." He chuckled at his own joke and sat back. "If you want to take time to think, please…" The man was cut off by two voices talking in unison. 

"Yes." Both employees accepted his offer instantly, all three laughing at the newly forged alliance.

"Where was I. Oh yes. Now, again, no arguments. I am a fortunate man, blessed with affluent ancestors and I want to pass that on to my own family. And by family, I mean all four of you. What's the point in money if you can't bring happiness from it?" Hange looked like she was about to cry and Erwin's chest puffed in pride. "So Levi. Do you think you can handle reduced hours, no gate duty and more time to yourself? (F/N), can you cope with being independent and free to do what you want to do? Get out there and change the world like I know you can? I offer the same to you both. Two love birds should have a private place to call home, after all." It was too much and your tears were the first to fall, followed closely by your friend, her glasses whipped off quickly to avoid staining them with salt water.

Levi remained stoic but internally he was overjoyed. It was always evident, yet this just solidified the knowledge that you were most certainly your father's daughter, both of these relatives being the most kind hearted and selfless people he had ever met. "Thank you, Sir. My answer is also yes. That is if (F/N) can put up with me?" He got an elbow to the ribs in response at first, but then a body was thrown in his direction, his woman hugging tight and burying her face in his neck. You couldn't speak, sobs of gratitude still spilling from your lips and you left the slightly shell shocked man to offer the same to your insanely thoughtful father.

Inside there was a twinge of sorrow, not just at the whole household being split up, also the fact that despite the generous offer it just polarised once again how you most certainly were not anywhere near self-sufficient. Yet. You would be, home aside and the memory of the brochure that was stashed earlier just served to add strength to your resolution. "Thank you dad." It came out in a tiny voice and he replied with a whisper only you could hear. 

"It's not charity, it's not a reflection on your abilities. It is a gift from me to you." He knew what you would be thinking and wanted to stop any ideas on that vein from entering your mind. Speaking to the whole room, he craned his neck to see everyone from behind your hair.

"Thank you, all of you. And I know I don't need to say it, but this stays between these four walls for now. I need to speak to everyone together tomorrow." Another duty sprung to mind and he laughed. "Suppose I should contact the government back home, too."

~~~~~~

All of the staff were gathered in the large dining room on Thursday morning, breakfast finished and a buzz of chatter. Your father stood carefully on a crate, using your hand to steady himself. The fractured wrist was contained in an elastic sling so his balance was already off kilter. Clearing his throat, he commanded silence and began to explain his stay in hospital fully for those around. Mutters of dismay and condolences were given throughout and it got to the point where he would have to deliver the news. Words stammered out of his lips, momentarily forgetting where he was and what he was doing. You squeezed at his hand and looked up with support.

"Ah yes. Now that was a good example of why I'm about to tell you this." The man spoke gently, gasps sounding out at his revelation. They weren't necessarily upset at the loss of a job, but the loss of their benevolent employer. Your dad picked up the speech again on an important point. "For those of you who wish to remain in the country, I know of many people who are in need of good staff, good friends." A few sniffs were heard and he continued. "If you would like me to, I will make the arrangements and ensure you have future employment. I don't want any of you to be disadvantaged by my decision."

It was becoming too emotional for him and he just nodded and stepped down. You didn't know who started it, but a clapping came from somewhere, soon joined by the rest of the crowd until a huge round of applause was given and he cracked, crying deeply at the show of admiration.

~~~~~~

"So, you going to tell me or do I have to fucking tickle it out of you?" He was referring to the magazine you'd been reading earlier and Levi stared over the woman lying beside him, hair still damp from the shower you had shared in what wouldn't be your home for much longer. You'd certainly decided to start saying farewell in style though, taking advantage of a variety of furniture this evening. He'd had you thrown over the sofa, pressed up against a wall and sent you crazy on the bed, all the time pushing deeply inside of you with determined stamina. To have him to take charge was your way of enforcing control, allowing your man do amazing things to your body but you hadn't let him off lightly either. Smiling sweetly, you turned on your side to face him, vivid memory in mind.

"Why should I tell you so easily, Levi? Do you want me to make you plead for it again, hmm? What was it you said? Something like 'Oh (F/N), please! Please s…' mmmph!" He cut you off with a finger on your smirking lips, halting your recital of what he had chanted over and over as you teased him with an excruciating mix of pleasure and frustration. 

"Shut the fuck up. And next time, just cut to the chase and suck me. Twenty minutes of licks and kisses drove me insane."

"Really? I hadn't noticed. Well, let's do it again. I need motivation before I give up my information."

"You do know we have to be out early tomorrow, yes?"

"So? It's only ten, don't be such a wimp." As you spoke, you crawled down the bed and stroked at the already bulging lump in his boxers. "And it seems like you're more than ready for it Levi." Liberating his hard member, you heard him hiss and started to give him the same treatment as before, running your slightly open mouth up his shaft and over the tip with feather like touches.

"Oh fucking hell (F/N). Ahhh…"

With a light flick, your tongue came into play and barely skimmed his flesh as he gasped, groaning his next words.

"You are the fucking devil incarnate, you know that?"

"Yep, and you fucking love it." Damn straight he did and Levi dropped his head back on the pillow at that thought to enjoy yet another torturous but ultimately fulfilling moment.


	25. Goodbyes

"You still haven't actually fucking told me." The sedate walk to visit Farlan had just begun, large house disappearing behind you both as the couple strolled along in the early morning sunshine, birds giving you their greetings that probably actually meant something territorial. The light chirp of a blackbird could likely be translated into a string of expletives, warning others off in a feathered display of machismo. The reason for your lover's own grumbles was currently sitting in your bag. You'd completely forgotten to talk about it last night, mind having been firmly on other matters. A small collection of paper and staples had given you a clear goal, one which you were convinced would lead to achieving your desire to be useful, a person with something to give back.

"Sorry Levi. Here." Pulling out the booklet, you passed it over. He'd seen you take it from the stand that contained information on careers, but not what the title had been. As he looked down, the man saw it was already pretty weathered even though it had only been just over a day since you snatched the item from the rack. He flicked through the pages, taking in the information as the route started it's incline, the scent of pine curling around his nose and the sound of water reaching his ears. It made sense. Everything he read was ideal, bound to be a good move.

"(F/N), this is perfect." You smiled, sure this could be your calling and he gave it back as the pair of you reached the summit. "Sit." Doing as asked, you sat on the bench and gazed out over the beautiful scenery, hands twined together. 

"Would it be weird for you Levi?" The query was met by a shake of the head, raven locks swaying as he replied. 

"Not at all." You'd checked online and knew they needed staff and it was a role that didn't require any specific qualification, more of a 'learn on the job' kind of position. 

"Ok. I'll talk to them."

Farlan was in good spirits, the large man laughing and joking with you both, apparently fully aware that he was in a hospital for once. "That shit they served for lunch yesterday almost caused a riot, I swear. Don't they realise we're people still?" He said it with a smile, no malice intended. "(F/N), you should bring some of those cakes again, show them how it's done." Grinning, you patted his arm and promised that soon you would do just that. Today the visit was in the main area, not the man's room and some others shuffled out for breakfast. Conversation continued and Farlan spoke quietly as he nodded over at Armin. "He's getting worse. Won't normally come out here, too many people." It was like speaking to someone who was here to see a friend or family member, not a patient and you wondered how long the lucidity would last. He'd been willingly taking his meds, too.

Around ten minutes later, Levi stood to grab a minute with Gebhard and in seconds, the timid blonde was by your side. "(F-F/N) hi, sorry to interrupt. I've missed seeing you, I guess I've not been myself lately."

"That's ok Armin, you're not interrupting. Want to talk about it?"

"You don't need to hear my fanciful thoughts, but thank you."

"I don't mind, honestly. Farlan, is that ok?"

"Sure. Fill your boots, sweetheart." He got up and shot you a wink, making his way over to his friend and nurse.

"If you don't want to, you don't have to Armin. We can talk about anything you want."

"R-really? Oh, ok. Erm…" He chewed at his bottom lip as he considered the way he wanted the chat to go, eyes scanning over the pattern on your top. The man decided on a topic and the two of you began to speak, all attention on each other. Three men stood watching, small smiles on their faces as Eren ran over to join in, the blonde slightly reticent to add another to the group at first, but soon you held a three way conversation, the males listening intently when you spoke gently.

"Now that's someone I could do with around here." Gebhard nodded towards the table as Armin was more animated as he had ever seen him, conversing easily with others. Recently, the patient had refused to speak and hid away, any signs of that now a distant memory.

"You should tell her that." Levi was planting the seeds just in case you chickened out and kept quiet. The role you'd been so interested in was that of a psychiatric aide, a person who assisted the nurses and helped with organising activities, lending a hand to the residents with day to day things such as washing and dressing. It meant that those like Gebhard would have more time to deal with the more serious issues; therapy, medication and generally running things. The aide would be his eyes and ears, a neutral person for the patients to be more open with and could potentially spot any spiralling behaviour before it arose. And perhaps without realising, you were actually doing some of that already.

"Should I? Do you know something I don't, Levi?"

"Might do."

"Never a straight answer with you."

"No, that's part of my fucking charm." The nurse laughed and shook his head, still looking over as you sat back and let Armin take the lead, comfortable in the public setting now. They left you a while before Gebhard broke up the conversation, pointing over at the woman. 

"Sorry guys, I need a word with (F/N) here. Can you help clear up? We've got art next."

"But we're in the middle of something." Armin never spoke back, but he had found a new confidence that admittedly still came out with a small voice.

"Don't worry, I'll be back soon, ok? We can pick up where we left off?" He accepted your suggestion and the two grudgingly sloped off, leaving you smiling as they chatted whilst tidying chairs around the tables. The nurse sat and you turned to him, a knot of nerves in your stomach. "I don't know if you'd be interested, but I've been reading about becoming a psyche aide. I think I might be able to help out around here, support you and the guys. If..." You were cut off before you could finish.

"How about an interview next week?"

"Oh…erm…yes, I mean yes! Sorry, I wasn't expecting that to be so easy."

"(F/N), I've seen the way you are with the patients, how they are with you too. It sounds like an avenue I would very much like to look into further. Shall we say next Friday at ten?"

"Thank you, that would be fantastic." The scary but exhilarating prospect of your first job interview was already causing flutters of adrenaline in your body and you practically skipped the whole way home, Levi smiling at your anticipation.

~~~~~~

Annie had hired out a whole pub for her leaving party, Saturday evening punters having to find a new watering hole for one night as they found the doors locked to the public. Your dad had assured you that it was fine to attend, he didn't need to be fussed over and he wanted you to be able to say goodbye to your friend. Entering through the back, you were met by pounding music and a generous crowd, none of whom you recognised at first. A vaguely familiar face swept past, that of the woman you'd met at the castle along with Reiner but you couldn't recall her name. The stern but also bored expression she wore made her quite unapproachable and you were content with that. Whilst the large blonde man wasn't here, he obviously associated with the tanned female so you would be keeping your distance just in case.

The reason for the party sat to one side, enjoying her evening entertainment. Annie had seemingly dismissed the idea of strippers and opted to jump in feet first by ordering lap dancers instead, one of them currently grinding suggestively on your friend. She caught sight of you and grinned, whispering in the ear of the barely clothed woman that straddled her, presumably to advise that she would need to get up but would be back soon. "I knew this would be fucking messy, (F/N). Don't get shit faced." You elbowed Levi and shook your head as Annie approached. 

"I won't, I'm far too old for throwing up in the street." He mumbled something about not mixing drinks as arms hugged you tightly.

"I'm so glad you could make it (F/N)! I'm fucked already, seriously don't know how long I'll last." Her body swayed, confirming that she was indeed pretty inebriated and you laughed.

"You just do what you want, Annie. It's your party!"

"Fucking right it is, bitch. Fancy a lap dance? She's good?"

"I wouldn't want to take her away from you."

"Nah, I like to share! Levi? How about you?" He looked over with extreme distaste, an expression that would be more at home on someone inspecting a blocked toilet, not willing to grace the woman with an answer. "I presume that's a no? Oh well, more for me!" Your friend gave you a wet kiss and bounced off to take up position on the chair again, hired entertainer back in place instantly. Her parents must have allowed some kind of send off, but they sure as hell wouldn't have expected this. Drugs were being taken in a not very well hidden way, drinks swigged and spilt and people were getting hold of each other in various corners.

"We're only what, an hour late? How did this get so fucking bad so quick?"

"It's Annie, Levi. That's reason enough."

"Tch."

You slipped through the throngs to the bar, tab already prepaid so they were on the house, two beers passed across swiftly. If you'd been here alone and maybe a year earlier, it would have surely had a different outcome for you. After the two of you had met, you had a flurry of outings, many of them extremely drunken and most certainly involving some kind of narcotic. Maybe you'd even have gone for a lap dance too, why not? But it was different now, you were different, not just because of Levi but also your own personality had matured somewhere along the line.

At one point you had succumbed and gone to dance with Annie, any inhibitions blown away like cobwebs as you cut some moves with the woman who would be moving on Monday. She was barely understandable, words slurred and constant manic grin on her face. At least she was having fun, you thought. Getting a good send off. A new track came on over the speakers, your friend's eyes lighting up for a moment, but it soon disappeared as she clutched at her mouth. Here it was, the inevitable vomit and she staggered for the bathrooms.

"How the fuck are you two even acquaintances?" The voice in your ear was tired, the filth in the room making him itch and long for the cleanliness of home.

"I used to be quite the party animal, Levi."

"Whatever." You turned and looked up into his strained face, the way his eyes darted around to watch every move and take in every dirty spillage making you realise how hard this was for him. Annie was so far gone she probably didn't even know who you were right now and you'd been here a couple of hours. Calling her tomorrow would be better, a more coherent farewell so you took your man's hand.

"Let's go." He didn't protest and followed behind as you weaved through the people, avoiding being knocked over by wasted revellers, unaware of someone watching you closely.

~~~~~

You had called Annie on Sunday, her entire evening forgotten in a haze of hangover and blackouts. She didn't actually remember that you'd even been there. "Oh (F/N), I'm so fucking sorry, the only thing I know for sure is I woke up out the back in the staff room on a sofa with that lap dancer."

"No fucking way? Did you…?"

"Yup. Well, pretty sure we did anyway. I have absolutely no recollection of it."

"Fuck that, you might have had the best sex ever and missed it you idiot!"

"I know. I got her number though."

"Annie, what good is that if you're in another country?"

"I don't fucking know, bitch."

The two of you chatted a while before she had to go and pack, heartfelt farewells given along with promises to keep in touch.

~~~~~~

Tuesday was a break from the norm, however the impending retirement called for some change in protocol. Hange was in place behind you, sorting hair and preparing her friend for the final gathering. It would be the last time your family played host like this, a kind of swan song as your father made the transition from diplomat to civilian. He had been sure to tell you to be yourself, not to worry about keeping up the appearances as he certainly wouldn't be. Whilst he wanted to remain friends with some of the attendees, he pretty much didn't give a shit about the majority and those who mattered knew him well enough to be aware of his dislike for many politicians.

The dress had been picked by you, one that you liked and didn't care that it would be considered risqué by some. It was actually quite tame, a bit of cleavage on show, knee length and sleeves short and capped. Very tame, in fact. People went grocery shopping in more revealing outfits. Hange sighed as she brushed your locks, keeping it simple tonight at your request. "I can't believe I'm never going to do this for you again (F/N), it's such a shame." You smiled as you saw her cloud over, no doubt recalling every time this ceremony had been carried out. 

"Don't be silly, I'll still need you to help me out. No one does my hair like you, Hange." She sniffed and squeezed your shoulder, trying to hold back the tears as you stood and twirled.

"(F/N), you look gorgeous. Shit. I'm going to miss you." The two of you embraced and you rubbed circles on your friend's back to soothe her troubles. 

"I'll be around so often it'll seem like we still live under the same roof. I promise." The woman seemed to be be placated to a degree and held you at arm's length to take in your form. 

"It gives me great pleasure to say this for one final time. Go get 'em, (F/N)." The obligatory slap on the ass followed and you grinned at each other as you made for the door. 

"Thank you Hange. Love you." Blowing a kiss, you stepped out, seeing her catching the imaginary smooch in her hand.

Mike waited to escort you, a smile on his friendly face. Erwin was outside checking IDs, Levi and Bertolt on dining room duty. Many more off-site guards would be employed this evening as the guest list was vast and varied, more so than ever before. A lot people wanted to get a piece of your dad before he went to start a life of relaxation, but you didn't let it bother you. It was the last fucking time this would happen. "Hey Mike, you decided what you're doing?" It could have been a sore point to bring up, however you felt sure he wouldn't mind.

"I'm going to work for the prime minister, actually. So is Bertolt. We'll only be up the road, plenty of opportunity to pop in for a cup of tea with you and Levi." Laughing, you took his offered arm to assist you down the dangerous staircase, glad that the two men had already found a new place to call home. Your father's recommendations had been swift and glowing, ensuring their spaces on the team. The man of the hour was waiting in the hallway, face beaming as you approached. 

"Thank you Mike. (F/N) my dear, you look fantastic. Ready to tackle this final night?" You nodded and kissed your dad's cheek, heart beating fast for no particular reason as you replied. 

"Of course. Let's do this shit." He laughed uproariously and shot the guard a wink as the blonde opened the doors to the waiting crowd, father and daughter connected arm in arm.

Faces merged together, all smiling and ready to commence the massive show of fake kindness and adoration, a fact that now just fell by the wayside and meant nothing. What you had just set eyes on was enough to make you forget anyone else even existed and time seemed to stop. In slow motion, your father led you forwards, legs numb and moving automatically to reach your destination. The usual dark suit for sentry duty had been swapped for something more dressy and dinner orientated, cut expertly and running down in exquisitely tailored lines. Whilst still black, it was detailed with pipes of fabric in the same colour on the lapels that was slightly different to the main body, crisp shirt underneath warmly glowing out in the deepest red, top two buttons undone.

Levi smirked as he stepped across to become the person at the front of the crowd, his eyes soft as you got close, hands behind his back. He looked amazing, not just his physique but the way the man held himself, proud and happy. You reached him, oblivious to the looks that were being thrown over at the trio and your father took your arm from his, leaving you standing face to face with the one you loved so dearly. "Evening, Levi." Silver eyes sparkled, shining in the lowly lit room and he nodded once in recognition. 

"Sir." Now the attention turned to you, arm held out with a slight bow of the body, those orbs looking up at you mischievously from under raised brows. He took your smaller hand in his and raised it to his lips to place a gentle kiss on the back, smug expression letting you know that whether or not this was a huge show by your dad, an important one, it still amused him somewhat.

"(F/N)." You smiled sweetly, recognising how ridiculous this felt for you both but the man of the house clearly saw it as a massive display of acceptance so you played along. Arms linked, the couple made their way through both shocked faces and smiles, your dad walking with you closely. Dot came into view, giving you a kiss and shaking Levi's hand, clapping his shoulder with the other. 

"My boy! How you managed to keep that quiet from most of us I'll never know. I spotted it though, the way you look at each other is a dead giveaway." Astute as ever, the kind and wrinkled face of your friend smiled warmly as his gold eyes held nothing but joy. 

"Can't fool you, Dot. Never could." You hugged him tightly and the announcement for dinner was given.

Chatter sounded out along with cutlery and glasses moving around, glances shot over to the outed partners where they sat in between their host and his old friend. Throughout, you and Levi swapped quiet words, mainly grumbles about the pomp and circumstance of it all, hating the limelight to some degree. However, your sense of duty was clear as you humoured the man who would be retiring. Also, there was something liberating about being able to sit and talk together. There would be no separation tonight, no need to talk shop, so everyone would be invited to stay here or move to the drawing room, door open wide for whoever wished to migrate between the two spaces.

As dessert came to a close, your father stood and you prayed he wasn't about to get all sentimental. Not because he shouldn't, but you weren't ready for any kind of speech that involved the relationship you were in. Tapping his glass with a spoon, all eyes turned and the room became silent, expectant faces looking up. "Thank you. I just wanted to say how much I will miss all of this, the companionship and intelligent conversation." Pressing your lips together, you held back the laughter and cast your gaze down, fully aware that this was perhaps the least genuine thing he had ever said. "I would like to thank you for your attendance at my little dinners, the time we have spent together. My world is a better place for having met you all." Polite applause broke through the air, some smiles that were as fake as the words just spoken shining out.

That was the end of it, no embarrassing moments and he signalled the start of mingling time. Staff rushed in to clear plates and a hand grabbed yours, two bodies cutting across the room and making for the kitchens. Waving, you grinned over at those working and gave a hearty salute to Hannes, one that was reciprocated strongly. Outside, you went for the stash box but Levi stopped you, packet of cigarettes produced from his inside pocket. "Have a fucking proper one, (F/N)." Taking it gladly, a lighter was placed on front of you in a gentlemanly gesture and you breathed out with satisfaction.

"That colour suits you, Levi."

"It makes me look like some kind of character in a fucking vampire movie."

"Piss off, no it doesn't. The red brings out the bags under your eyes."

"Oi brat, they're your fault. I told you before, you're aging me."

"Seriously though, you look very handsome."

"Tch." He stood in silent reflection a moment, gaze on your body the whole time. "That dress is fucking beautiful. Can't wait to rip it off later."

Back inside, you allowed some questions but mostly just kept quiet, informing those around that you had no intention of letting them into your personal life. It was met with annoyance and gripes around how improper you were behaving, but you couldn't care less. Your dad gave you the odd wink or nudge while he networked round the room, approving of the way you conducted yourself. If he didn't mind then you didn't mind. None of these fuckers deserved any of your time spent worrying over their feelings.

Levi had spent a large proportion of the evening with Dot, the two having a proper conversation, both now sat in the drawing room looking thoroughly engrossed. You strode through and made a beeline for the pair, not wanting to interrupt but also seeking out solace. "(F/N), come, sit. Stop us fools chatting nonsense." The man you thought of as an uncle smiled and patted the space on the sofa between the men and with a smile, you carefully sank down. The smell of cigars filled the room and you began to feel the pull of cravings. 

"Levi, can I steal a smoke?" Why the hell not, fuck the disapproval that your action would be met with. He passed you one and lit it again for you, smirking at the faint murmur from a stuffy looking woman over by the door. It was fun to mess with these pricks.

By midnight you'd had enough and realised it was the longest time you had spent at one of these events. Your dad was in full flow with a bunch of those he enjoyed being in the company of and Dot was snoozing on the couch, moustache twitching in his sleep. You stood in a secluded corner, your lover by your side as both people scanned the room. "Seems like a good time to leave." He hummed his response and you slipped out into the hallway, empty apart from one blonde man who frowned out across the grounds. "Hey Erwin, you ok?" The large bodyguard turned slowly and nodded, face full of boredom and fatigue as he spoke. 

"Yea. When are they going to leave? My feet hurt."

"(F/N)'s good at foot rub…mmph." A punch to his stomach stopped Levi from continuing that wholly inappropriate statement, the charm bracelet swinging on your arm as it connected with an unprepared soft abdomen. 

"When did you start offering my services around, Levi? Fucking hell." The head of security smiled as he watched the pair ascended the marble stairs, muttered argument ringing through the echoing hall.

"No need to fucking hit me."

"Yes there was. You think you're my massage pimp or something?"

"Fuck off. I was just telling the truth (F/N)."

"How much of that cognac did you have?"

"Not enough to stop me."

"Stop you what, Levi?"

"Just get the fuck upstairs."

"No." A hand shoved your ass and you giggled, hurrying to start what would no doubt be the beginning of a long night.

~~~~~~

The wind had picked up as you walked slowly through the evergreen trees, branches creaking and rustling with each gust. Clouds were brought along with the blustery weather, hiding the sun and making the temperature drop a few degrees. There wasn't the sense of terror that accompanied the storm that time you made this journey before Christmas, no muggy heat or sticky atmosphere, just a nice chill that spread through your bones and made you shiver. It was refreshing, blowing the mental fog away and clearing your mind ready for the early morning interview.

You were nervous, this was new territory and you didn't want to fuck it all up because of fear. Levi watched as the woman by his side hugged her arms around her body for warmth, aware of what would be going through your head. "It'll be fine. You've got it in the fucking bag (F/N)."

"Do you think so?"

"No. I know so. Stop being a fucking baby and snap out of it."

"Thanks. Probably best that you never become a motivational speaker."

"Fuck off. I'd get people doing what they were supposed to."

"That's not the same."

"You're not nervous any more, no?" He was right, always fucking was. With a series of grumbles, he had made you forget the knot of adrenaline in your stomach.

"Idiot. Love you."

"Tch." The man pulled you in sideways and placed a kiss on your head. Smiling now, you entered the final stage of the journey towards the hospital. You just wore jeans and a dark shirt, sleeves at your elbows and the satin fabric shining as it billowed in the wind. There was no point in really dressing up for this, Gebhard had seen you so often that it would be ridiculous to suddenly turn up in a power suit. Levi buzzed for attention and you were let in with smiles and a warm greeting. Farlan wasn't around, none of the patients were and another nurse walked with your man to take him to see his friend. Before they went, he shot you a look that meant 'good luck' and you smiled weakly.

The interview was more like an informal chat in the corner of the main room, Gebhard more interested in making sure you knew what you were getting involved in. He explained the kind of days you'd have, the menial tasks combined with spending time talking to the residents. It was all that you had expected, no surprises and an offer was laid on a metaphorical table. "Three days a week to start with, say eight until two? I think then we can see if that needs to increase. What do you say, (F/N)?" You wanted to jump up and down and give the friendly man a huge hug, but something needed to be said.

"You remember what I spoke to you about on the trip out?"

"I do."

"I've been having therapy. It's finished now but I still get the odd instance where I have to use techniques to deal with a repressed memory. I don't want you to take me on without all of the details." Gebhard listened intently as you went through most of the situation, giving him the information candidly as this kind of thing would surely be an important factor when taking a job in a psychiatric hospital. He nodded throughout, taking it all in and held up a hand when you had finished.

"I have no issues with that. And thank you for being so open. It sounds like you have a handle on things, but if ever you don't feel in control, come see me. That's my job, you know." He gave you a wink and you grinned as a hand was offered, the shake sealing the deal. "Welcome on board, (F/N). Now, I need to sort some things out for official purposes, so if you can, I'd like you to start a week on Monday?"

"That sounds perfect. Thank you, for everything."

"Don't thank me yet. You haven't experienced cooking with the residents. That is a wonderful but explosive activity." The two of you laughed, excitement running in your veins at the prospect. Levi and Farlan strolled in, talking quietly like they were just walking down the street, the larger man seeming bright and coherent once again. Gebhard gestured over and you trotted across to meet the men, face beaming. 

"Hey (F/N)! This one tells me you're shacking up together? You realise what that means?" Farlan gave you a winning smile and your second wink of the day. "Better get your feather duster out. He's unbearable around dirt." Laughing at Levi's scowl, you nodded but said nothing. You'd lived in the same place for a while already and had no issues with keeping things clean. "Maybe I can come round and visit?" It certainly seemed to be a realistic prospect if this clarity continued and you saw a small smirk on your lover's lips as you spoke. 

"Any time, Farlan. But I'll see you more often around here too." He frowned but the smile on the other man's face increased. 

"Told you." Levi's chest swelled at his own proclamation, pride and love in his heart. 

"Someone going to explain?" You let his friend know of your new role, grin spreading across his mouth. "Congratulations! Welcome to the mad house!" Arms tugged you in for a hug, hand squeezing your ass. 

"Oi. None of that fucking about, Farlan." The two in the embrace laughed at the grumble as snack seekers started to shuffle in, signalling the end of today's trip.

Before leaving, you gave Gebhard some details and he wished you both well, promising a contract would be sent shortly. Outside, Levi stopped by the gates and placed his hands on your waist, gazing into your (e/c) eyes that twinkled with vivacious anticipation. "I fucking love you, (F/N)." Kissing softly, you felt the familiar tingle in your toes as the feeling of his gentle lips sent sparks through your body, sighing deeply. "So, here's how it is. I'm going to kick your ass in the gym, then we can go celebrate." Grinning, you walked in the direction of home, arms around one another and joy in your hearts. Everything seemed to be going in the right direction.

~~~~~

The cold weather had continued and you sat inside, the warm glow of an open fire in the old pub lending much needed heat to the small room. The ceilings were low, tables close together and a myriad of pictures hung on the walls, all depicting scenes of the town from the past. It was the place you had come on the ghost walk, but this time the bartender was a normal human being, not a zombie. The cosy atmosphere was pleasant, two bodies sitting pressed to each other in the corner as they sipped their drinks.

Training had gone well, throws being perfected slowly but surely and as seemed to be the norm now, equally energetic sex had followed. You'd at least managed to get back to your room this time before giving into lust. A buzz hung over you both, the satisfaction of an almost perfect Friday settling in to your souls. Not much chat was held, just the enjoyment of shared company and serenity. This was peace embodied.

"Suppose we should start looking for somewhere to fucking live." You hummed in reply, wine relaxing your already unwound being even more and your mouth couldn't be bothered to open. "How long is it? Two weeks?" A fortnight from now and the grand home would be left behind forever, a new start on the horizon that filled you with a kind of euphoria. 

"Yea, two weeks Levi. Maybe tomorrow we can look at the papers, see what's out there?" He nodded in response, hoping there was something in the housing pages that suited. Neither of you wanted or needed anything extravagant, just a small simple place to call home. For the first time you would be living a normal life, sharing a house with the man you loved and not surrounded by help or a steady stream of visitors. It was going to be bliss.

Levi pulled his phone out and brought up a website, deciding to start the search now instead of waiting for the hard copy of the listings. Even in a quaint little town like this, wifi was everywhere. A delicate finger scrolled down the page, stopping now and again at potential winners. "How about that?" You looked over, head on his shoulder as he opened the details up. It was a modest building on a quiet street, not far from the place your father had already put a deposit on for himself. The garden was manageable, nothing too tricky and the rooms were crisp and fresh, newly decorated and fitted with modern finishings. Despite the exterior, the inside was definitely up to date, betraying the age of the edifice. No new buildings existed around here, adding to the local charm. 

"I like it Levi. Shall we go and see it?" He nodded, the two of you sharing a smile.

Eventually it was time to leave. The man had work in the morning and the evening had marched on with a surprising pace. Taking your empty glasses to the bar, you gave thanks and farewells to the person in charge and made your way into the cool night air. You paused a moment on the street to adjust to the change in temperature and shivered, looking over to see your lover zipping up his jacket. "Fucking wasn't supposed to be this col…" He couldn't finish as a bolt of pain shot through his head. The dull sound of something connecting with his skull was far away as he stumbled to the concrete ground, vision blurred and mind unfocused. Struggling, he glanced up to see something that made him want to scream but he wasn't capable of doing anything but kneel in the road.

"Levi, what…" Eyes wide, you watched him fall and large hands grabbed you from behind. Before you could begin to defend the attack, there was a sharp pain in your arm and you looked down to see a syringe sticking out of you. Instant nausea hit, a wave of sickening desperation and your legs started to give way. The man on the floor shouted your name over and over as he tried to get up, but his limbs wouldn't allow it, neither would his spinning head. A huge male was carrying your limp body, throwing it unceremoniously into the back seat of a red car, a woman behind the wheel. Levi recognised one of them and called out in futility. 

"I'll fucking kill you!"

As they drove off, he managed to memorize the number plate, mumbling it as he pulled out his phone and messaged the license to Erwin before it left his clouded mind. He looked over to where you had been and his heart sank even more. On the cold, hard surface of the road lay your handbag, dropped in the struggle along with another item, one that gleamed. Snatching at them both, he held tightly to the pieces of his woman that were left behind.

"Are you alright, mate?" The bartender had heard the commotion and helped the pale man to his unsteady feet, seeing a faint patch of wet blood on his head. 

"Fucking cunt." It was growled at the car that disappeared, murder on the face of the one who had spoken. 

"What's happened, shall I call the police?"

"No. My friend's coming." The pub was very close to home and grey eyes could make out the speeding shape of Erwin's ride already, the dark and plush vehicle normally used to ship the man of the house around in but now it was required for something else. The text had only been a series of numbers and letters, but the blonde man approaching was worried; no one sends that on a normal night out and he was glad Levi had mentioned the venue earlier.

Feeling more lucid, your lover thanked the pub owner and ran to the car, pulling the door open before it had even come to a halt. "Back that way. They've taken (F/N)." Screeching tyres turned and Erwin floored it, hurrying in the direction your abductors had gone. The short version of events was relayed as country lanes sped past in a blur, following the route they must have taken. 

"Who was it?" Levi snorted and shook his head before answering. 

"Fucking stupid blonde that tried to threaten her before. He couldn't even manage to hide his knife, let alone know how to use fucking sedatives. The shitty giant must be working for someone." Patting the back of his head gently, he brought his hand round to see sticky blood on his fingers. "Shit. Fucking dick."

Grabbing a cloth from the glove compartment, he wiped the red fluid away and pulled out his sanitizer, rubbing furiously at his skin. Brakes slammed on as the road split into three, no sign of which one the other car would have taken. Hitting the dash with a fist, Levi shouted out in pure frustration. "FUCK." Erwin looked at the trio of options, none of them offering any clues like a broken branch or marks denoting recent travel. It might as well have been a dead end.

Rummaging in the small handbag, the dark haired man retrieved your phone and scrolled to find a number as the driver reversed to go back home. Pressing the right name, the dialling tone sounded and it was picked up quickly.

"Yo bitch, wha…"

"I'm not a bitch. Your friend, the huge fucking bleach blonde one? Who is he?"

"Oh, erm, hi Levi. What's up?"

"I just asked you a fucking question, that's what's up."

"Alright, no need to be a prick about it."

"Yes there bloody well is, Annie. He's taken (F/N). So I'll ask again. Who. The fuck. Is he?" Voice calm and steady but spoken through gritted teeth, he waited for the woman to give him the information.

"R-Reiner. Reiner Braun."

"Where does he live?" She gave him an address, one which he mumbled out loud to try and make it more likely to stay in his still fuzzy mind. "Is he as stupid as I think he is?"

"Yea he's a fucking meat head. Steroids gone wrong, the pin up of what not to do at the gym. And there was this one time with a block of cheese, he couldn't…" That was all he needed to know and hung up, speaking out in the fast moving vehicle.

"He's definitely not working alone. Guy has shit for brains."

"At least we've got the bastard's address. We need to call the police though, Levi. If we start going vigilante in a foreign country, you can kiss any kind of citizenship goodbye." Your father had put things in motion to allow you all to remain here, using his contacts to set up your new lives but this would undoubtedly fuck that all up.

"Fucking hell. They're shit though, Erwin."

"That may be, but we have to at least appear to be complying with the law." That seed was planted. Appear to be complying. With that in mind, the two men reached home and ran to the main doors.

Not many people were around, it was quite late but they tracked down your dad and Hange together in the drawing room, along with Mike and Bertolt. This small group would be the only ones in on it and the only ones to trust. A flurry of shouts and shocked faces met the serious tale and the woman acted in a fashion that was quite out of character. The first thing she did was rush to get some things and take care of Levi's wound, no words spoken. Maybe it was all too much to handle, but perhaps it was also a show of friendship and care.

As she tended to the man, your father called the authorities and set the official line in motion. He wasn't a fan of going it alone, but this was his daughter in trouble. Not sure whether to expect a ransom call, he cleared the line quickly, officers on their way to take statements shortly. Mike went out to wait for the new arrivals as stiff drinks of scotch were poured. Levi sat with a bleak expression, arms hanging across his knees and hair falling forward as he held something in his hands, absent mindedly playing with it as his thoughts were spread in a million different directions. Fingers touched the item, the only solid and tangible thing to cling onto. Your bracelet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've done it again...


	26. Parallel Struggle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long ass chapter, but it's all worth it hopefully!

The arrival of police started a wave of newcomers, employees buzzing around like flies on a dead animal, all wanting to find out what delicious gossip they could garner. Hange and Bertolt did their best to keep them at bay, moving people on before the inevitable rumour mill started up. No details were given, a full blown panic would not be useful, especially seeing how evidently horrific the first witness statement was going. Levi pointed as he spoke, his figure visible to all through the glass doors in the main hallway, face scowling as he no doubt verbally ripped the officer in charge a new asshole. His disdain for local law enforcement was clear and he prepared to give his final words on the matter.

"Don't give me that shit about how it hasn't been twenty four hours. She hasn't run away, she was fucking abducted."

"Sir, please don't use that language otherwise we will have to continue this down at the station."

"Levi? I understand, believe me, but getting yourself arrested isn't going to get my daughter back." The man spoke gently despite the throbbing in his temples, wanting nothing more than to let your lover lay into the useless prick but it wouldn't aid proceedings. Strained quiet descended and the policeman cleared his throat, moving onto Erwin for information around the route driven.

Two men stood closely together across the hall, whispers shared. "Levi, I noticed you omitted the details about Reiner's address?"

"Damn fucking right, Sir. I'm not letting them ruin the only chance we have."

"Good choice. Take Erwin, but wait a bit though. You don't want to be seen crashing around town by these arrogant fucks." It was either the situation or the fact he hadn't slept properly in a couple of days, but your father was becoming increasingly snappy of late. Levi smirked with a grim expression at the unusual display of colourful wording, nodding as he replied.

"Sunrise. Catch him in his fluffy fucking pyjamas."

"Teach that bastard a lesson."

"Oh, I will." The dark look in his eyes meant business and the men watched as the police left, large blonde joining them.

"So what's the plan?"

"Dawn raid. Make the fucker wish he was never born."

"Sounds fun, Levi."

~~~~~~

Darkness. Damp. Silence. There were no lights or windows wherever you were and you couldn't see shit. This was surely beyond the usual kidnapping though, you thought as your wrists were currently bound in front of you tightly. It wasn't just that. There was also a restraint around your neck, equally snug and it appeared to be attached to something. Since you had regained consciousness, there wasn't much to do other than explore. Of course you were fucking scared, but not to the point that you would lose your mind and turn into a damsel in distress. A calm head was needed, so you had tested your surroundings.

Whatever was holding you was limited, giving you a small radius of movement. You could kneel, but any lower and the collar tightened. Equally, you were able to walk three paces before the tug on your neck prevented any further steps, giving a circle of attainable ground. The only thing you could find was the chair you'd woken up on and you sat back down with a sigh. Whoever had done this wanted you to be able to feel like you could maybe walk around freely only to be halted again, frustration and a sign of futility being the goal. But you refused to let those emotions in, staying as strong as you could. That would surely be more useful than crumbling.

You hoped Levi was alright. It must have been a serious blow to the head that would take him down and you wondered what was going on outside of this room. Were police involved? Who had taken you? What did they inject you with? No answers were forthcoming from the pitch black space so you just sat and concentrated on keeping still. Any approaching person would be easier to hear if you made no noise.

After a while your eyes began to drop, the utter lack of sound and what was probably the middle of the night making you fatigued. On the chair, you could bow your head without any strain on your neck and unintentionally you started to snooze. Faint wisps of a fractured dream clutched at your brain, pictures that made no sense creeping in and suddenly you were violently dragged from the soft, fuzzy feeling. Choking and struggling for air, you realised that the chair was no longer underneath your body, meaning that the only thing keeping you up was the restraint around your throat. Feet scuffed on the hard floor and after what seemed like hours, you managed to get back onto them, ease the pressure and release the hangman's grip.

"Who the fuck are you? What do you want?" There was no sensation of another body in here with you, still no sound other than the faint jangle of chains which pretty much confirmed what held you in place from the ceiling. No reply came, but a bright blinding light appeared, searing your eyes as what felt like stadium grade bulbs had just been turned on. Adjusting, you took advantage of the new found sense of sight. It was a concrete room, walls as smooth as the floor, door to one side and you were indeed tethered from above. Your prison didn't span much more than your three-pace circle and you let out a dark laugh when you cast your gaze around.

Along the boundaries were tables, all about an inch away from being able to stretch out and touch them, kept tantalizingly away from your reach, teasing you. One held food, all sorts of breads and fruit, cold meat, cheese, cake and biscuits. Another had a variety of crude weapons including an iron bar, steel pole and a knife, block of what looked like flint. All one could possibly hope for if you wanted to attack your kidnapper. On the other side was a toilet and sink, tap promising luscious water and a sparkling glass sat on the side, begging to be filled. You started to feel thirsty, mind playing a cruel trick at the sight of something you couldn't have.

The chair lay on it's side in a corner and you noticed something previously undiscovered. A wire had been tied to the bottom of one of the legs. You'd missed it on your exploration as it was so thin, shoes on your feet dampening the feeling as you had stepped on it. The cable ran to the wall, set up on a kind of pulley system - it must have been engineered exactly so that on command, it would retract and spill you from the seat. Quite possibly the most disturbing thing was high up, a small round globe that shone down like an eye, black and foreboding. A camera. Staring into the item, you called up. "Can you fucking hear me?" Nothing happened, but that didn't mean there were no microphones in here.

What happened next told you that whoever was doing this could probably hear you very well. The lights went off, plunging you back into darkness. Well, it wasn't like looking at the things you couldn't reach was doing any good, so they had actually helped you out. That was until it started. A loud scraping, scuttling noise. It sounded as if it was everywhere at once, almost like a swarm of bugs crawling across the floor towards you with determination. Flinching, you span in place, trying to figure out what it was and where it was coming from, but a blinding pain in your mouth sent you to your knees with a cry. Tasting blood, you attempted to see what was going on but it was useless.

The sound stopped abruptly, an itching sensation on your skin still remaining at the memory and the lights came back on. Nothing had moved, no insects stood around you waiting to strike and there was no sign of anyone or anything that could have hit you. Perhaps this was a confirmation that your captor could certainly see and hear you and wanted you to shut the fuck up. Whatever it was, it took this to a whole new sinister level.

~~~~~~

Erwin knocked politely at the door to the shabby house, one which hadn't been well maintained. Guttering hung from the roof, weeds had taken over the garden and the paving slabs were cracked. The windows were filthy and curtains drawn from inside, dirty fabric suggesting the interior was just as bad. A scruffy head of bright blonde hair peered through the small pane of glass above the knocker, frown deep as he looked out at whoever had woken him at seven in the morning. The guy had almost the same coloured locks as he did, friendly blue eyes and was probably some kind of Jehovah's witness or something.

Opening up with a sigh, Reiner started to tell the man to fuck off but his new visitor grinned, a devilish expression and he stepped to one side. A flash of black came into view as a pale fist smashed right into his face, crack suggesting his nose had been broken as he stumbled backwards, landing on his ass. The door closed and two figures stood staring down, a foot planted heavily on his chest to force him to the floor. "I-I…they told me to do it!" He recognised the man who had punched him; it was hard to forget the person he had smacked around the head with a brick last night. The shoe that held him down moved upwards, pressing into his throat. 

"Who did." Dangerous silver eyes glared into his very soul, almost freezing his blood with that narrow gaze.

"S-some guy, I don't know his name, we never met. Just left me a note with instructions."

"And you fucking followed them like some kind of lemming."

"No! There was money and they promised more so I called the number he left."

"Where did you take her." Levi didn't speak with questions, they were statements.

"I don't know."

"Well that makes no fucking sense." Pressure was applied and Reiner choked, grabbing at the man's surprisingly strong leg.

"I mean I don't know the address!" Croaked words were rewarded with a release, air pulled into lungs before he continued. "I got directions."

"Tell us."

"I can't remember them, they were written down and I burnt the paper." Levi rolled his eyes at the stupidity of the oaf on the floor, shaking his head.

"The driver."

"No, no, don't drag her into this…" Levi swung his leg and delivered a vicious but graceful kick to the man's face, blood flying in a gratifying spray of liquid. "Ok, ok, stop, please stop!" His voice was thick and wet, hands up in fear. "Ymir. Her name's Ymir."

"Where." The blonde prick on the soiled carpet gave up the information quickly, wanting these guys out of here as soon as possible. "You try and warn her, I'll know. Don't be fucking stupid." The small man turned to leave after his parting words and another face came into view, that evil smile still pulled across his lips as he spoke. 

"Nice to meet you." A foot connected with Reiner's ribs, the other intruder giving him a warning of his own in physical form.

Back outside, they walked in silence as Levi pulled his pack of cigarettes out, fingers brushing against the bracelet that sat in his pocket. Smoke billowed in a cloud and he finally spoke. "I'm not a fan of beating women Erwin, but I fucking will if she won't tell me what I need to know."

"I'm sure she will." His mumbled response was met by a grunt of impatience as they made the journey to the next destination.

~~~~~~

Time was non-existent. Without any signs of the sun's rays or bright moonlight, it was impossible to tell how long you'd been here. The bulbs had remained on, buzzing lightly with annoying electricity and you really really needed a drink now. Somehow, the person behind this had made the tap start to drip and the tiny balls of water were picking at your sanity. The noise they made was infuriating but also the knowledge that you couldn't get any of the liquid made you angry. Another sideline was that you now needed to pee. Fuck sakes.

This had been meticulously planned. Was it Jean? Had Marco decided to stay away, making your ex fill with hatred? Maybe he had tried to get into political circles and failed, blaming you? It was wholly possible and he was definitely capable of this kind of scheming plot. Lights went out, eyes now blind and that sound started up again. As much as you wanted to scratch your body, sudden clarity stopped you. This was to mask the person's movements, almost a white noise to dampen their footfall and psychologically deafen you to their approach. Well, think again mother fucker.

Senses acutely tuned, you listened beyond the scurrying and heard a small click. The door. A faint swish of fabric told you they were close and now you were aware of a presence. Shutting out the non-existent bugs had allowed you to focus and you kicked your leg harshly in the right direction, foot landing with precision and strength. A male voice called out in pain and you leapt to your feet, ready to try and fight with no vision, tied hands and a limited radius now irrelevant. The insects ceased, lights came on and you squinted over to a man who held a remote control, obviously using it to make everything happen as if by magic. "You aren't supposed to fight back, you know."

It wasn't Jean.

~~~~~~

Knocks at the door were useless. Either the woman wasn't in or she had been contacted by Reiner. It was a tiny apartment above a shop, one that was accessed from the back alley and nothing overlooked the entrance. With a nod, two feet kicked their way inside, ready to pounce. Awful furniture was scattered around, all badly looked after and in need of a good clean. Levi pulled out his sanitizer, the very sight of the place making him feel like setting it on fire and letting it burn in all of it's germ infested glory. It was tiny but they searched everywhere, tattered wardrobe and built in cupboard that housed a disturbing amount of well read porn magazines, but no sign of a woman.

Levi called his friend into the greasy kitchen - there was no way he was touching a thing in here. The mission allowed him to push the dark thoughts away, not fully but enough to be dulled. (F/N) was strong, she'd be ok. Of course she would be. Had to be. Before he could spiral, he took out his gel again and instructed the other man. "Check out the kettle, hob. See of they're fucking warm." If she had been warned, perhaps it had been in mid-breakfast flow. The trip over here was short, five minute's walk so no time for her to think about masking any indications of life, even if she was smart enough to do that kind of thing.

A cup on the drainer had the remnants of coffee but it was dry and sticky, not today's drink. The appliances were cool, no sign of use and the sink was moisture free. Maybe she worked nights? Went to a friend's? Levi froze. How could he have been so stupid?

"She's was fucking Reiner's place all along."

"Oh shit."

They ran, descending the stone steps two at a time and racing across town, the journey small but it felt ridiculously elongated. Turning the corner, chests heaving, the two men saw the door to the dilapidated house hanging wide open, a couple throwing bags and then themselves into the red car that hadn't been parked here ten minutes previously. Before they could do anything, the security guards watched as the vehicle sped away and they came to a halt, breathing deeply as Levi kicked the wall of the fucker's home, flaky paint falling off in leaves at the assault. "Fucking CUNT. Not again!"

He felt his lover slipping through his fingers, regretting his suggestion at leaving their ride behind so they couldn't be tracked. Fucking idiot. Running hands through his hair, he gripped tight to the onyx strands in pure despair. What now? Leave the police to sit and pick their fucking noses, jerk each other off? That was all they were good for and now there seemed no other avenue to explore. As if on cue, Erwin's phone rang. A terse conversation was held and he hung up, beckoning to his unravelling friend. "We've got to get back. Bertolt might have something."

~~~~~~

"Who are you?" For the second time you asked the man, but now you could at least see him. Most of him, anyway. His face was largely hidden by a black hoodie, however the features you could make out were not familiar. He didn't reply, only rubbed his ribs where he'd just been kicked. A press of a button increased the flow from the tap, water running faster. It stopped the irritating drip but made your bladder jump and mouth dry up instantly. The man swept out, slamming the door and leaving you once more. This was mental torment and you knelt, fingers tapping from where your hands lay in front you, no memory to be dispelled but perhaps this would help with the stress.

Recalling the night on the roof, you filled your mind with Levi. Everything you'd done together, the lazy evenings, banter and light hearted bickering, kisses, touches, love. Trying to keep a handle on reality, you started to relive the last time you had sex, replaying yesterday afternoon over and over until you could almost feel his hands on your body. It drowned out the noise and allowed some kind of filthy solace. A dim thought crossed your mind. What if every time you had to deal with a flashback now, you thought of sex? It made you laugh a little, small huff from your nose and you were graced with darkness again. Obviously humour was not allowed.

~~~~~~

Pacing the drawing room, Levi thought about how he had failed. Failed to protect the woman he loved, not just because he wanted to, but also because it was his fucking profession. What kind of a bodyguard was he? Hands wrung in nervous motions and he stopped walking, snapping his head up as the tall man entered the room. "This had better be fucking good." His internal loathing was projected outwards, directing it to those that just wanted to help. Hange's glasses had been snapped at, Erwin reprimanded for being too fucking blonde, stupid insults thrown around to try and alleviate his dark mood.

"It is. Umm…" The scared face looked around, making sure everyone was listening as his new, slightly mad girlfriend clung to his massive hand. "I know someone. They can trace number plates. Don't ask who or how, just look." He sounded quite commanding despite the slightly low way he held his head as he handed over his phone to Levi. Your father was by the side of the pale man, both staring down at the screen as they read that the car had been reported stolen two days ago, paperwork filed and passed to the police. 

"How does this help?" The man of the house stared over at the security guard, fire in his eyes.

"It doesn't, but the next thing will."

"So why are you showing us this shit?" Yet again, unusually coarse language was used, but with good reason.

"I erm…I guess I just wanted to give you the whole picture." Flicking a finger on the screen, it changed to a more technical looking page, one that was updating regularly. Cameras picked up car registrations constantly, tracking them on their journey. Privacy was a thing of the past in this modern world, a desirable intrusion right now. Levi glared down and added up the facts. 

"They're going for the border."

Without hesitation he ran outside, Erwin close behind as they made for their vehicle, Bertolt's phone still with them. This would be a chase that could have two outcomes for the men - victory or nothing. Only one option was satisfactory. Checking the gas, Levi noted the tank was practically full and revved the engine, taking control of the machine as the other slipped into the passenger seat. Nodding, they exchanged a look and sped across the grounds, tiny pieces of gravel flying up in dangerous arcs. The remaining members of the group stared out the glass doors and a small female voice spoke up. "They took their guns, didn't they?"

~~~~~~

The noises had been dispensed with, figure strolling in without using the masking technique now. Lights were switched on and he casually made for the table full of food, picking up an item and eating slowly. You weren't that hungry, so it didn't really bother you that much but you wanted to find out what the fuck was going on. Remaining silent, you watched him prowl around, chewing with calculated movements as he walked. The man circled you, glaring down at his prey. In a sudden flash of momentum, you felt the chain being pulled and your head was wrenched backwards, eyes up and throat tight. Letting out a pained croak, you saw a smile on the face of your tormentor. "Aw come on (F/N). This is fun, yes?" The hood came down but you continued to be confused, having no idea who this was.

"No it's not fucking fun."

"I can make it enjoyable. Want me to pull harder?" Yanking the metal, he made you lean further back, playing with you like a dog on a leash. "See? Isn't that nice?" Your eyes felt like they were under tremendous pressure, throb of blood in your ears as the man in control grinned. No. Not in control. Technically, yes, but you would not be broken mentally again. Something flashed across your eyes and the guy paused. That was unexpected, he thought. Defiance? Fight? Surely you should be cowering in fear? Releasing his grip, he watched his prisoner gasp for breath but there was no begging, no pleading for your life and it pissed him off.

"So, what? You don't like it anymore? And there was me thinking you loved that feeling, no air, choking, all that shit?" Realisation finally dawned. Slight clues in the facial bone structure, hair colour, voice that had a similar accent. With a whisper, you spoke.

"But you're dead?"

~~~~~~

The trail was leading the two men quickly towards a remote rest stop, the last known place of the red car. No more updates were available on the small screen and they pulled up round the corner, not wanting the couple to know they were being tailed. Checking their weapons, the friends stowed them safely and walked silently through the cover of trees. Not much traffic passed this way, the only residents were birds so the chances of being spotted were slim. Lifting a hand, Erwin signalled that he had eyes on the vehicle and with a gesture, he sent each of them a separate way, circling the small building and searching for exits. There was only one, the front door and it was the kind of place that was unmanned, vending machines and self serve petrol pumps along with a place to sit and regain yourself after an arduous journey.

The men met by the entrance having covered all angles, car checked for signs of life. The fleeing couple must be inside. With another unspoken conversation, plans were made. Adrenaline pumping, guns raised and safeties off, Levi kicked the door in to reveal two shocked looking faces as they sat and ate junk food, the breakfast of kings. "You. Where did you take her?" Ymir couldn't speak from fear. She might have been a cold hearted woman but this was a situation she never expected to find herself in and it made emotion show on her usually expressionless face. "One more chance or I'll shoot your fucking knee cap." Levi meant it and the female knew as much.

"I…she…we…" The muzzle of the firearm pointed downwards and she saw a finger tense on the trigger, the grip on the metal weapon as steady as a rock. "We took her across town!" Shouting and wincing, Ymir explained the route to take, leading to an old manor house that had been abandoned around twenty years ago. Levi knew where it was and made to leave, but not before giving the two something to think about. 

"If you want to remain breathing, I suggest you keep driving and don't ever fucking come back. I guarantee you, it will not end well if you show your shitty selves again." The look on the armed men's faces was enough and they nodded with wide eyes, grabbing their snacks and stumbling out of the ramshackle hut.

"Fucking hell. Who's done all of this?" Levi had a terrible sinking feeling that Jean might be behind it, payback for putting an end to his scheme and he felt a wave of violence rush through him as they returned to their vehicle, ready to make what was hopefully the last but longer journey before finding you. 

"Levi, we need to call the police." Engine springing into life, the driver retorted as he sped off.

"And say what, exactly?"

"We can't just go in and start kicking the shit out of someone."

"I know. Fuck." He started to wonder what to tell the authorities. Erwin was right, it had to be done correctly to some extent. "Alright. We get there and call them, gives us a fucking chance alone to cause some pain to the piece of shit who's done this. Tell them someone called the house and gave an anonymous tip." It was the best he could come up with. He didn't want to be arrested for GBH but if someone was guilty of kidnap, surely some kind of leeway would be given. The man by his side seemed to agree and they made the rest of the trip in silence. 

~~~~~

"Why would you think I was dead?"

"Because you drowned."

"Obviously not!" He started laughing, a completely unhinged chuckle that made his face contort into utter lunacy. Pacing around, your captor started to mumble to himself, having what sounded like an argument. Words were whispered but you could make out something like how you were his again. The circuit round the room was finished and he loomed over you again. "God I've missed you (F/N). They took you away from me far too soon. Oh, the things I wanted to do to you." His eyes were glowing with demonic desire and he stroked your cheek.

"Fuck off, Uli."

"Ahhh, that sound! My name on your lips again!" Your brother's eyes closed, seemingly in ecstasy. "I loved it when you used to beg, (F/N). Pleaded me to keep going. You enjoyed it as much as me!"

"No I didn't. I was five fucking years old, you brain washed me, prick."

"No, oh no. You loved it and you know you did. If only I'd had more time, I could have made you so happy." Crouching, he gazed into your eyes but saw that same strength from before instead of the dead, compliant stare he was excited by. "And now you're back. I can make up for lost time." Uli murmured softly and took in your appearance, still smaller than him but not as meek as the child he remembered. That could be changed. You raised your arms to try and strike him in the chin but he was quicker, stopping the move with a surprisingly hard grip. "I don't think so."

He stood and retrieved a belt from the table of weapons, a thick leather one with a metal clasp. The heavy steel was whipped round and caught you in the temple, stars springing up in your eyes as he quickly put the item on your waist as you were momentarily incapacitated. Tightening it, your sibling moved round and secured your wrist bindings to the clip so you could no longer lift your hands. "There. Now you won't try any of that sneaky shit again." You refused to make any kind of noise or suggestion that you were in pain, staying still and steely jawed where you knelt, legs slightly apart to steady yourself.

Uli was down at your level, face close and inspecting you like a new toy. "Hmm. Now let's see. Want to find out all of the amazing things we could have gotten up to together?" Not letting him win, you just stared blankly into his demented eyes. "Well, it wasn't really an option, to be fair. You do as I say and you will like it, just as we used to be." On his feet again, he pored over the items on display, tapping his finger to his lips like he was a child deciding what sweetie he wanted to eat first. Selecting one, he grinned with mischief and threw himself back to the floor, squirming with anticipation as he held up the chosen tool by your left eye. A screwdriver.

Against your will, you gulped and he saw it but Uli took the gesture entirely the wrong way. "I knew you'd like this one (F/N). So many things I could do with it, dontcha think?" He trailed the sharp weapon down your neck, digging it in as it got lower until he came to a stop. Right between your legs. The disturbed gleam in his orbs was dangerous, his mouth open with a wide smile as the metal was pushed forward lightly. Despite your resolve, it was too much and you leapt back, on your feet and at the limit of your chain to get as far away as possible.

Uli stalked towards you, pointing the item like he was telling you off. "Come on little sis. Don't tell me you never wanted this. The way you used to look at me with those doe eyes, just gagging for me to touch you." You did the only thing available and shot to the side, keeping him at bay, stepping in your small circle every time he got closer. 

"Why? Why did you do all this to me, Uli?"

"Because they liked you more than they liked me."

"Maybe because I wasn't a psycho?"

"I'll ignore that. I still remember the day you came home from the hospital, tiny little baby wrapped in a blanket, so innocent. They looked at you with such love and care, I knew from that moment that I had to make you pay, make you mine until you broke. But that didn't happen, did it? You went and beat the shit out of me. Got me put in that home." He laughed again, more unstable than before. "Well done, by the way. It was fun." The man started clapping, muted by the fact he still held the screwdriver. "And now, little sis…now you'll experience what I've been dreaming about for all these years."

He moved, fast. Given your restricted space, your brother got hold of you easily and you wriggled and fought, trying to kick him away but your balance was fucked, tied arms giving no chance to recover and you stumbled, collar choking as you fell. Hands pulled your hair, wrenching your body up so your knees kept the restraint from killing you, now facing the ceiling. A rough mouth was pressed onto yours with force and you struggled, the grip on your locks firm and you felt him stroking the tool below again, sharp metal pushing at the seams of your denims. Breaking away, Uli stared down and licked at his lips. "Nice. Just like I imagined. Shall I keep this up? I think I can make you very, very happy." He nodded down, gesturing to his now faster motions.

"Fuck off." You spat in his face, stopping the disgusting feeling beneath as the screwdriver was removed.

"You're going to regret that. Or maybe not, depends on how much pain you enjoy." He pushed you down, neck restricted and breath almost impossible and you wondered if this was it, how you would die, in some sick incestuous torture scene. Using your hands, you placed them on the floor to try and lift your body but a searing pain made you cry out. The metal had been plunged into your flesh, the soft bit between your thumb and forefinger and it made you feel sick instantly. He yanked it back out and let you sit up. "You like that? Are you getting wet for me yet?"

Panting, you screwed your face up against the excruciating agony and growled through gritted teeth, playing him at his own game. Might as well try and make him lose it, you thought. Go insane or kill you quickly. As you spoke, you sent non-existent telepathic waves to Levi, wherever he was. He might have been taken to, you had no idea, but you screamed mentally that you loved him, so fucking much and you were sorry for potentially trying to bring about your own death as a way to escape the torture and probably inevitable rape.

"Uli, that was fucking weak. And anyway, like you could get it up, you shitty limp dicked mother fucker. Actually, DID you fuck mum? I bet you did. This is text book, you couldn't stand to watch her breast feed me, could you? Wanted her tits all for yourself you sick bastard." It horrified you to say these words, but it was a last ditch attempt. Whether he killed you or went so crazy he couldn't function, you didn't care. This was the only way you could fight back, verbally. Your brother's expression changed, anger and power gone, something else in their place and you realised you'd just made a huge mistake.

"Oh my good fucking god, that was fucking awesome (F/N)." His eyes were clouded and he started to work at his belt, pulling it away and he flexed the leather in his grip. In a strong movement, he brought it round and smacked the black item across your face, leaving a red mark behind. His trousers were off and he palmed the lump in his boxers. Instead of pissing him off, you'd inadvertently turned him on. "Not so limp after all, is it? See this? It's just for you, (F/N). This is what you want, I know it."

Your eyes watered at the sting on your cheek but also with the beginnings of tears. Hands picked you up and he started to unbutton your jeans, but this was not something you were about to just stand and take. Snarling, you leant forward and sunk your teeth into his neck, the best place available to bite as the hoodie covered his arms. "Jesus! What the fuck?" Uli looked shocked and that fury came back, however you were quicker. Using the momentary lapse in concentration, you raised your knee and got him square between the legs, hard. He dropped to the floor and you lifted your foot, bringing it down on the back of his neck. Groaning, he rolled around as he clutched at his groin, oblivious to what you did next.

Cutting off your own air supply, you got down and stretched your fingers out towards the screwdriver, tips touching as you tried desperately to roll it to you. Every flick was useless and you steadied yourself, calm washing over your body, a combination of both intentional serenity and lack of oxygen helping out. You had the weapon. Standing carefully, you shifted your grip and got a good hold, using it to prise open the clasp that held your wrists to your waist, stepping back and gasping in deep breaths. Next time he came near, you'd be ready and waiting.

"Fucking bitch…shitty little whore…" Uli's words were strained as he picked himself up, blinded by anger and stumbling fast towards you with nothing but murder in mind. He would get you on the floor, he thought, watch his sister lose consciousness as the collar choked her life away and then he'd have fun. No way she was getting any pleasure out of this now, so he would wait until your dead body couldn't fight back. Your brother growled as he flew across the room and you planted your feet in the right position to defend against an attack, slightly bent forwards, determination on your face. As he reached his destination, a pair of hands were raised to push you to the ground and another smaller set got ready to strike.

~~~~~~

A car pulled up in a cloud of leaves, the building in the occupant's view crumbling and falling to pieces, tiles scattered across the ground and door missing. Police had been called, their instruction to stay out having been met by a tirade of angry words from Levi and the men ran to the house. Every floorboard was rotten, threatening to cave in but they spotted a trail of various footprints in the dust that covered the wooden slats, all leading to a staircase that went only one way. Down. "We've got about five minutes alone before the cops fucking show up." Nodding, Erwin agreed and they drew their guns, carefully but quickly making their way to the basement.

The hair on Levi's neck prickled as he heard shouts and they broke into a run towards the only door, kicking it open. What was inside made both men stop for a moment, unable to fathom the scene at first and the smaller of the duo whispered. "What the fuck?"


	27. Silver Linings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Penultimate chapter for this one, hope you enjoy the read!

A man sat hunched and groaning on the floor, no trousers on and a screwdriver sticking out from his abdomen as blood dripped into a small pool beneath him. Levi had never seen him before but there was something vaguely familiar about his pained features. Leaving that aside, he turned to look at the love of his life, initially speechless and rooted to the spot. She was chained to the ceiling by the neck, red-stained hands tied and judging by the circular pattern on the dirty ground, unable to reach any of the strangely arranged items that sat against the walls.

He snapped out of it as the sound of approaching footsteps above signalled the arrival of the police and he stashed his gun, rushing to your side. "(F/N)? What did he fucking do to you? Are you ok?" Levi ran his hands up and down your bare arms as he spoke, leaning in to kiss your lips over and over, something he feared would never be possible again. 

"Just hold it there!" Shouts came from the doorway as firearms were raised, three law enforcement officers pointing their weapons at the other men in the room.

"Wait! The guy down there, he did it, he took me, these two are family, they've done nothing wrong, please!" Your voice was loud and begging. After all that had gone on, surely this wasn't happening. Luckily, one of the policemen recognised those you referred to as the witnesses from earlier and lowered his arm, nodding to his colleagues. They moved to Uli, two guns still trained on him as the one in charge knelt, raising your brother's head by pushing it back slightly. Wide eyes told you something bigger was happening and the officer grinned. 

"No…way. Well, I didn't expect to see you! Hey boys, look who we've found!" Smiles grew but it left three of you utterly confused.

Cuffs were placed on your captor and an ambulance called, excited chatter shared about how they hoped you hadn't hit any major organs so the guy could rot in prison. The one who had recognised Uli came over and spoke as Levi undid the collar to release you. "This piece of shit is wanted in five countries for murder. Lucky we found you when we did!" Ignoring the obviously ridiculous statement, being that they arrived last to the party, you looked at him and frowned. 

"That's my brother. I thought he died years ago." It all became too much and you started to cry, embarrassed slightly by your tears but mainly exhausted and relieved.

Your lover struggled with the bindings on your wrists and eventually gave up, lifting your arms over his head to rest them on his shoulders as he pulled you close into a tight embrace. Face in your neck, he breathed in the faint scent of your perfume, still lingering despite the amount of time that had passed since you applied it. "Fucking hell (F/N), I thought I'd lost you. I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry Levi?" Your voice came out in sobs as the police started to photograph the scene.

"I couldn't protect you. I let them fucking take you."

"It wasn't your fault. Is your head ok?"

"Don't fucking worry about me, did he hurt you? What the fuck has been going on?"

"Not now. I need to get out of here." He nodded and straightened, wiping the salty liquid on your cheeks away gently and smiling softly.

"Ok (F/N). It's ok. I love you so much." Fresh tears sprung from your eyes and you wailed, face pressed into your man's chest, letting everything go. You'd stayed strong for so long and it was ready to be released. Levi rubbed your back, soothing sounds whispered into your ear as he scowled at your brother, watching the man being led away by police who had no regard for his injury. Good. Hope it hurts, fucker.

A key had been found and your wrists were liberated, red welts around them along with the puncture wound on your hand. Pale arms helped you upstairs and into the fresh, early afternoon air, Erwin following behind with a grim smile. You were safe, but he had no clue what you'd been through. A paramedic was waiting, another ambulance driving away with Uli inside, no doubt escorted by the other two officers that were now nowhere to be seen. He tended to your injuries as the remaining three men spoke quietly. Any intended telling-off had been forgotten as the cop was obviously proud to have been the one to make this monumental arrest.

Once you were sorted and checked over, another car arrived and investigators stepped out, their plain clothes denoting superiority. Some had small cases and plastic coverings on their feet, glaring over at the local policeman for soiling the crime scene as they entered the house. One came close and offered a hand. Taking it, you shook politely and sat down on the gurney, ready to begin your statement. Faces appeared, Levi sitting next to you, Erwin and the original officer standing outside the back of the ambulance by the open doors. All of their expressions advised that this would not be happening without them. Sighing at the difficulty of getting anything done in peace with these country folk, the agent nodded and let you start.

Nothing was left out, not even your horrible outburst or the kiss, those around you listening intently. A hand held yours tightly as you relayed the story with a steady voice, like you were just talking about a boring trip to the supermarket. Removing emotion helped, you kept it calm and neutral. It was silent as you came to the conclusion, telling them how you'd struck first before Uli could do you any more damage, resulting in his stab wound seconds before Levi had burst in.

"So, they said murder? When?" You wanted to know it all, no sugar coating. Only the bare truth would be sufficient. The agent complied, letting you all into the man hunt that had spanned many countries and eight years. Uli had gone for victims that resembled you, same hair colour, similar stature, but they had no idea what the connection was until now. They'd guessed he used the women as substitutes, however the man's history was impossible to unearth so no family was able to be found. He used a name and details that had only surfaced when the killings began, like he hadn't existed previously and no DNA was traceable. Potential play things were picked based on not just appearance, but from a social standing that meant not many people would be looking for them.

Going into some detail, the man explained how the women were tortured, raped and eventually killed after sometimes months of being held, sexual abuse occurring both pre and post mortem. Erwin walked away at that point, but the gruesome tale was almost finished. The only thing that remained was your brother's body count. Forty seven. They must have overlapped, maybe imprisoned together, but that information wasn't offered up. "Miss (L/N)? I know this a lot to hear and its a terrible ordeal you've just been through. I've taped your statement, just come down the station to sign it when you're ready." You nodded and took a deep breath. It was over, again.

"Even without this, he's going away for life. Because of all the authorities involved, I would imagine he'll be extradited and locked up back home." Another reason for making this your country now, all ties severed. "Now, given what has happened, would you like me to arrange for someone to talk with you?" A bitter laugh came from your mouth, head shaking with the irony of it all as you replied. 

"Thanks but no, I've actually got quite a good therapist already." These people didn't need to know of your past, so you left it at that.

Official business over, the local officer suggested a lift in his car, but you politely declined that too, feeling much more safe in the hands of your lover and blonde friend. Everything seemed to be tied up and you glanced back at the house. "Let's go home." The ride was silent, Erwin driving now and the couple in the back, leaning together and hugging tight. Telling your father was going to be so, so hard.

The gates came into view and you parked up, small group waiting as a text had been sent to let them know you were safe. Erwin got out but before you left the car, Levi took your hand and retrieved something from his pocket, something you thought had been lost forever. Clasping the bracelet on, he smiled and locked gazes with you. "I knew you'd be ok. You had to be so I could put this back where it belongs." It almost made you cry again, emotions understandably running high. 

"Oh Levi, I…" Voice cracking, you took a moment to compose yourself. "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"Taunting him. I thought it might work, but I nearly got myself k…" A kiss stopped the word neither of you wanted to hear, lips pressed together with pure adoration.

"Don't be sorry. You didn't have many options." Redness tinted your neck where the collar had been and he grit his teeth. Uli was where he belonged now, certain to get the proverbial book thrown at him and Levi spoke with a strong tone. "He's going to fucking die in prison, (F/N). Probably get beaten daily when people find out what he did to those bodies. Once you've spoken to your dad, that's it. In the fucking past." You nodded. It wasn't an order but an affirmation of how he would be there for you.

"The past can fuck right off." He let out a huffed laugh at your steely declaration and you smiled. "Right. Let's get this over with. First, I need to pee though."

~~~~~~

Erwin had given scant details to the others while you and your lover sat with your father in private, leather seats in his study being some of the still remaining furniture; a lot of it had been placed in storage already. His sad eyes became dark as he listened, however you kept any mention of rape out of it, as well as the number of women his son had murdered. They were unnecessary details that would crush him. Sighing, the older man rubbed his face, trying to make sense of it all. "How did I raise such a boy? Did I do something horribly wrong?"

"No dad, it's not down to you. He has a problem, a serious one, but it's over. Now we have closure." It was true, all those years with no body to bury had finally been brought to an end and he looked up into your (e/c) eyes, admiring the resolute flash in them.

"(F/N), my girl, come here. I'm so glad you're safe." Holding on to you, he smiled and spoke to the other man in the room. "Thank you for bringing her back to me, Levi."

"She did that herself, Sir. She's strong."

"Certainly is, my boy. Now (F/N), you must be exhausted. Get yourself to bed." Actually you were totally finished, almost drifting off in the embrace.

"Mmm hmm."

"Better go soon, I don't want you dribbling on me."

Back in your room, you lay down into Levi's warm body, taking solace from his proximity. "I'm never letting you go again, (F/N). Remember that." It was the last thing you heard before surrendering to slumber.

~~~~~~

A week later and you had put that day firmly behind you, moving on with your life, one which was becoming slightly hectic. Your job was due to start in two days and there were seven before the main house shut down forever, new owner lined up already. Luckily, the place you had seen online had been perfect, living up to the pictures when you'd viewed it on Tuesday and even better was the fact it was still available and vacant. Papers had been signed, contracts exchanged and you would be moving in on Wednesday. The matter of furniture had been taken care of, ordered online for delivery that same day, leaving behind the items you currently had in your shared room. Your belongings had mostly all been packed, perfectly stowed in boxes, mainly thanks to Levi.

Most staff members had already left, a handful returning home but others starting new employment with some of your father's acquaintances and you bustled around, making yourself useful for those that remained, cooking and cleaning and generally keeping busy. Hange found you in the laundry room, picking out sheets that would be folded and stored. Whoever was buying this place wanted any useable furniture and linen, perhaps to use the house in a similar fashion, or maybe a small hotel.

"Hey (F/N)!" Turning, you placed the cloth to one side and gladly accepted her hug. They were more frequent than usual, a result of last week's events and also the impending move. "How's your hand?" Shrugging, you pulled back and smiled.

"Not bad, thanks. Bit sore, but it won't stop me!"

"Nothing does, you crazy woman."

"That's rich coming from you, Hange."

"True. Now, finish that lot up and come with me."

"Why?"

"Because I said so, missy." Laughing, you stacked the final sheets and followed her outside, wondering what she wanted. Usually it was something like asking you for help with some clothes that had become wedged behind the radiator somehow, or advice on what to do about Bertolt's perspiration problem and you couldn't wait to see what had happened this time. It was nothing to do with her apparently and you frowned as the car came into view, Levi leaning with his arms on top of the open passenger side door and looking as casual as can be, smirk on his face. Hange squeaked and slapped your ass, running back inside to leave the two of you alone. 

"Please don't tell me you're suggesting driving lessons?"

"Hell no. I don't have a fucking death wish."

"Very funny. What's going on?"

"Just get in." He jerked his thumb behind him and you smiled, following the command. There was nothing in here to suggest where you were going, only your handbag and as you exited the gates, Mike waved with a grin. After ten minutes, your curiosity grew too large to be contained so you turned to the man behind the wheel.

"Are you going to tell me what's happening?"

"Nope."

"Oh c'mon! You know I can't handle surprises very well!"

"No. And if you keep up that shit, we're turning right back round again."

"Oh my god! How old are you, grandad?"

"Shut up. Turn on the radio, talk about anything else but I'm not telling you, (F/N)."

"Fine." Pouting, you pressed the window button to let in the warm air, increased temperature once more gracing you over the past couple of days. You kept the music off, chatting on other subjects and eventually just began to enjoy the drive, watching changing scenery fly by along with the nice breeze that came in. Sun glaring, Levi pulled on some glasses to avoid being blinded as he turned straight into the line of the late morning light. "Now that is fucking sexy." He glanced quickly to his side, seeing the grin on your face.

"Piss off (F/N)."

"Seriously. Very suave."

"Well, of course. Haven't quite lost my bad ass looks from my teens." He lowered the dark shades down his nose slightly and gave you a swift sideways look, smirk on his lips, half-lidded eyes demure and glowing a soft grey that made you melt there and then. "Now quit flirting and let me concentrate on the fucking road." Laughing, you moved in and gave him a kiss on the cheek, laying your head on his shoulder as he leant his elbow out the fully open window on his side, relaxed by the calming journey.

Nearly two hours later and you were getting hungry, stomach complaining loudly. You had no idea where you were going but it had better involve food. All thoughts of eating were gone in a flash when you reached the crest of a hill, view making you gasp and clamp a hand over your open mouth. Before your eyes lay the last dwindling parts of the country lane, tarmac leading down to a small town of buildings, all of them painted in pastel colours, pinks, blues and greens. They looked like candy. That wasn't the best part. Spanning as far as you could see was the sparkling azure ocean, spilling out in a fantastic expanse of crystal clear water. The village was in a natural cove, coast line arcing round in a horseshoe shape to protect the inhabitants from any violent sea winds.

"Oh my…" Breath taken away, you could only whisper those words as Levi smiled and pulled into a small car park, engine silenced.

"Do you like surprises now?"

"Fuck yes."

"Good. Right, let's stretch our legs and get some fucking food. Lots of it."

The scent was amazing, fresh and clean, breeze blowing any mental fog away as you stepped out of the car and bent side to side, easing the pains that came hand in hand with a long period of time sitting down. Levi cricked his neck and pushed his hands in the small of his back, making you giggle. "What?" He glared over when he spoke, glasses still on and making him look unbelievably gorgeous.

"Sorry. Just us. We must be getting old." It was quite a funny scene, two figures looking like they were warming up for some kind of aerobics lesson and he laughed lightly. Walking over, he threw his arm around your shoulders and squeezed you tight, kiss planted on your head. "Thank you Levi. This is amazing."

"You haven't seen it all yet." That one sentence made you grin and feel a spark of excitement. As if this wasn't enough, there was more to come?

Strolling along the seafront, you scanned over the eateries before both deciding on one that looked particularly delicious, outside seating meaning you would dine by the beach, patio cut into the sand. It was busy but not too claustrophobic, tables a sufficient distance from each other so you still had privacy. A waitress appeared and your lover ordered two beers, the sunny warm day calling for something refreshing. He spotted your stare and looked down over his shades again, clearly unable to see you properly from behind them. "You really think I'm doing the fucking drive back again today? Screw that."

"You mean…?"

"Yea, we're walking home (F/N)."

"Shut up."

"No."

Chuckling, the two of you thanked the woman for the drinks as you studied the menu. It all looked so good and it was hard to choose, made even more difficult by the hunger in your belly. Why was it always impossible to decide when you were starving? Eventually, Levi had scowled at you for long enough and you made a spur of the moment commitment, hoping it was the right move. It was. Everything you had ordered was exquisite, food shared between the two so you could sample the multitude of small dishes. It was more like a kind of tapas meal, allowing a wide variety of delicacies and at the end of the culinary event, you were both stuffed and incapable of movement at first. "Jesus, I think I'm going to explode."

"Please don't. Imagine the fucking mess, (F/N)."

"Eww that's gross. Lovely table discussion."

"Do you expect any fucking less?"

"No, and I wouldn't change you for the world." You ordered another beer each, the café not desperate for free seats and more than happy to let you stay and enjoy the afternoon. Ten minutes of sedate chatter followed and Levi stood, sighing with effort as his full stomach resented the sudden shift. A hand waved to tell you to stay put. 

"I'll be back in ten minutes." He slowly walked off, thinking it might actually be longer as his speed was hampered by the overeating.

It was in fact longer, but not by much and soon he returned, offering no explanation and you didn't even bother asking. The man clearly wouldn't tell you if he didn't want you to know yet. Bill settled, you left for a post-lunch saunter, hand in hand down the promenade and taking in the sights and sounds of seaside life. It had been years since you'd been able to enjoy the coast, bask in the warmth and glow that seemed to always accompany these kind of places. As you watched a fishing boat crossing the horizon, salty air tickling through your hair, Levi spoke. "I know it's not fantastic timing, seeing as we're fucking moving in four days but I wanted to get away. Take you somewhere special and relax."

"It's wonderful, thank you. Anyway, we're all pretty much packed anyway."

"True."

"You should see Hange's room. It's a fucking disgrace."

"How? She's hardly been in it for long, what sort of shit does she get up to?"

"God knows. But her old room's just as bad."

"Jesus fucking christ. I feel sorry for your dad, I really do." He shook his head at the prospect of the man having to share a small house with your crazed friend and smiled. Soon it would just be the him and his woman, alone and at peace. It was a marvellous prospect, one which never failed to elicit a small burst of excited nervousness in his chest. It was going to be perfect.

Your sedate walk had brought you full circle back to the car and into the hotel that the parking lot belonged to; he'd brought the luggage up earlier after lunch. It was cosy and chic all at once, low ceilings giving a homely feel but decor suggesting an interior designer had been paid well for their handiwork. Your room was on the top floor, a modest space that still oozed luxury, balcony doors opening up to give an ocean view. "Oh wow, that is just unbelievable."

"I thought you'd like it. Now, at the risk of sounding fucking pathetic, I could do with a lie down."

"You're not pathetic, Levi. That amount of food is bound to make anyone want a nap." As if to confirm, you yawned involuntarily and laughed, shoes off as you flopped down together onto the comfortable king sized bed, much bigger than your own at home. The drive, fresh sea air and hearty meal all took their toll and you both drifted off with ease.

~~~~~~

"Come on, we'll be late (F/N)."

"Hang on, nearly done." He watched you hopping about and getting dressed for the evening, a selection of your clothes brought down here for your trip just in case you didn't like what he chose. Safest option really, bring a whole bunch. Levi regretted it now as you had spent far too long picking your outfit, but you had stated you wanted to look your nicest for him, something he couldn't argue with. It wasn't going to be a dressy affair per se, but certainly a non-denim event. "Ok. Is this alright?" The man turned from where he stood on the balcony watching the sun getting lower in the clear sky and smiled.

Of the four dresses he'd packed, you'd picked the one he hoped you would, a light summery item that complemented your eyes and hung with beautiful flowing fabric, length cutting off at your knees. Shoes were flat but sparkly, sequins making them more of an evening option. Your bracelet glistened against your skin and a simple necklace had been added, one he presumed you kept somewhere in your handbag as he hadn't packed it. Watching you twirl, he felt a strong tug of adrenaline in his stomach, one that was becoming increasingly frequent as the day went on.

"You look fucking amazing (F/N)." Levi spoke softly, eyes flashing silver as he paced across to take you in a gentle embrace.

"So do you." Holding him away from your body, you gazed down at his smart but not too official outfit, casual suit in place but the tight jacket was open, just a dark green t-shirt underneath that clung in all the right places.

"Alright, pervert. Don't give me that fucking look, we've got a dinner date."

"Stop being so sexy then!"

"I'm fucking not."

"Yes you are, Levi. You know I love you in a suit." Hands stroked at his chest, your eyes sparkling up into his, a smile on your face as he shook his head slowly.

"Control yourself (F/N)." He placed a soft kiss on your lips. "We haven't got fucking time." And another. "Seriously." Open mouths connected and a pair of hands rubbed down your back, finding the skirt of your dress and scrunching the fabric upwards, touch now on your backside. "Mmm." Your man hummed as he broke the kiss slowly, pulling away with a smirk.

"What?"

"Nice thong."

"Thanks. Might get in it later if you're good."

"If I'm good?" A squeeze on your still exposed ass was given in a warning.

"Yup. Behave yourself."

"No fucking way." Flecks of light in his eyes gave a smile all of their own and you grinned. "Let's go while I still have the fucking willpower."

~~~~~~

For the second time today, both of you had eaten far too much. There was something about sea air that increased the appetite, the freshness making you ravenous. In order to try and feel less like bursting and more human again, you walked slowly along the shore, taking in the wonderfully clean breeze and warm evening as the pair of you dragged on a satisfying post-dinner cigarette, arguably the best time for a smoke. Stopping by a railing that separated the raised walkway from the beach below, you stood and gazed out over the body of water, distant lights denoting large vessels going about their jobs. Maybe a ferry taking holidaymakers on a cruise, or perhaps a liner with precious cargo. Either way, the far off twinkles were hypnotic to stare at.

A cough brought you out of the trance and you looked over as Levi kept his eyes forward when he spoke quietly, the sound of waves stroking at the sand both soothing and comforting in your ears. "You know I fucking love you, right?" Frowning now at the slightly reluctant tone, you saw him take the sanitizer from his pocket and you wondered if the events of last weekend were still troubling your man. He had said it was in the past, move on, but that could have been a front.

"Yes Levi, I know. Are you ok?" A sigh met your query and you felt your heart sink. Something was wrong.

"I just…I don't know...shit."

"You can tell me, that's what I'm here for, remember?" Grey orbs met yours, steely and determined but uncertainty also lay within. With a wry smile, he nodded, letting out a small laugh that sounded awfully ironic.

"That's the fucking thing, (F/N). I can't. I'm no good with any of this expressing myself shit."

"I think you should give yourself more credit, Levi. Sure, you can be a bit crude but so the fuck can I. Now just let me in, I can help?"

"I don't need help." That smirk was still on his face as he took your hand, holding tight as a light gust of wind blew raven strands across his features. "Fuck it. What I need is you. And the fucking ability to say something properly without cocking it all up." You stayed silent, trepidation slowly being replaced with a ball of nerves in your chest as fingers linked in with yours. The man raised the grasp, moving your inter-twined hands steadily in a small back and forth motion between you.

"This, (F/N), is how not to fucking do it. I've gone about it all in the wrong way, no preparations, no plans, just me and my shitty vocabulary. But it's the best I can do." His arm dropped again and pulled you closer, gazes still locked and your other hand taken. With a spark of anxiety, Levi took a deep breath and prepared to hopefully change your worried frown into something else. "What I'm trying to say is, I can't live without you, I won't. Ever. You're fucking stuck with me (F/N), right? I warned you a while ago and now it's too late."

He smiled warmly, watching the way your face started to brighten as it began to dawn on you and he continued with his rambling. "So the only thing that I can fucking do right now is this." The soft drawling voice stopped, faltered almost and you saw him gulp. A few seconds passed, two bodies nearly pressed together and you were fixed in place with a serious yet playful stare. "You know what I'm fucking asking. Just answer me. I feel distinctly uncomfortable right now." Outright grinning, you laughed and felt warm tears springing at the corner of your eyes. Only Levi could make a proposal sound like a chore, a trait that made you love him even more.

"Yes, Levi."

"Just to be sure…you understand what that fucking means? You'll have me as…your husband forever, you realise this?" The largest smile you had ever seen grace his lips appeared, a pure and nearly child like wonder on his features.

"I realise. And I'm still saying fucking yes." Arms wrapped around you, a face in your neck as you clung back strongly, laughter mixing with sobs. The couple held on tight, not wanting to leave this moment. You heard a sniff and squeezed the man in to you, hiding his emotion and allowing him the time for composure. He could be outwardly caring, very much so, but this was a new occurrence, one you respected to be kept personal. Levi, however, didn't care. He'd gone through horrible things in the past and kept stony and closed, but this was the happiest his sometimes cold heart had ever been and he had no issue in showing you this side.

Straightening, you looked up into wet eyes that sat above that same big smile. The man gazed down, his entire being full of love that was unbelievably strong as he stroked your hair back behind your ear. "(F/N), thank you. Just, fucking thank you," he began, a few laughs escaping as he spoke. "You're amazing, you know that? And stupid."

"How am I stupid?"

"Because you've agreed to marry someone like me, someone who couldn't manage to ask you properly. I haven't even got a fucking ring."

"Levi, it was the perfect way to ask me. If you'd written it out in candles on the beach or something, I'd have seriously thought you'd gone fucking mad."

"Shit. I'd better get rid of those tea lights, then." The cheeky look on his face was adorable, nearly bashful.

"Come here you idiot." Pulling his body in, you hugged tight, silly grin on your lips. "And don't thank me. Did you honestly think I could ever live without you either?"

"I suppose not. After all, who can resist my fucking charm."

"Charm might be pushing it."

"Oi, brat." Levi sighed, contended and whole. "Love you, (F/N)."

"Love you." You stayed in the embrace for a while, serene breeze washing over you both along with unimaginable fulfilment. Not only would you be living together soon, it was going to be as one another's fiancé. Finally, the man leant back and took your mouth into a passionate kiss, one filled with care, not lust, gentle pecks shared. Smirking, he left you with a tiny nip on the bottom lip, eyes flashing with slight mischief. 

"I did do one fucking thing right though."

"What was that?" Your words were whispered, nerves still tingling from the softness that lingered on your mouth.

"I asked your dad first." Now it was your turn to get an evil glint in your gaze.

"You asked my dad to marry you? So I'm the second choice?"

"You know what I fucking meant."

"Yea, I never had you pegged for one who liked older men, though. At least you've kept it in the family."

"Shut up (F/N)."

Laughing, you walked along arm in arm back to the hotel, smiles wide and small touches shared. It felt incredible to know you were engaged, promised to each other. In reality, your hearts already had been for a while but it was now official. "What did dad say?" It was a wonderful display of respect, the fact that the usually cagey man had stepped outside his comfort zone and made the bold move of asking correctly. Levi cringed at the memory.

"Well, at first he smiled, then he cried. Took a while for him to fucking say anything, actually."

"And?"

"That's between us." Giving his woman a kiss on the head, he recalled the exchange, one that awkwardly involved hugs and heartfelt blessings. You stayed quiet. He was right and it had obviously gone well.

The first room you'd stayed in outside of your home in three years had been reached, a slice of privacy and luxury that the two of you surely deserved after everything you'd been through. It was a space to relax in, be with one another and you were taking advantage of that fact. A combination of the time alone along with the proclamation of love and commitment was manifesting as bodies melded together on the large bed, lips connected and naked skin pressed in close. Fingers trailed through your (h/c) hair as you both lay on your sides, face to face, hands rubbing up and down his flesh.

You felt yourself being rolled onto your back gently as Levi sighed, touch moving down to squeeze softly at your breast, thumb rolling on your nipple. Leaving the kiss, he looked down with admiration at the gorgeous female lying beneath, her eyes full of lust and mouth parted. "I fucking love you, (F/N)." Lips stole another peck. "So fucking much." You slipped your hand along his abdomen, the strength in the muscles evident as you reached another kind of hardness. Stroking with teasing yet pleasurable motions, you smiled up into his gaze and saw the light in his orbs that seemed to emit from his very soul. 

"Love you too, Levi. More than you could know."

Moaning with both erotic and emotional arousal, the pair of you locked together again, groping at any place you could find, hands fervently searching as the physical expression of the night's events became more urgent. "(F/N)…I want you…I need you…" A dark, silky voice spoke in whispers as you felt his erection digging into your stomach. Grasping it hard but not so much as to cause discomfort, you shifted over to guide him inside, letting go and leaving the man to push up fully, gasps sounding out in the slightly indulgent room. Wrapping your legs around his body, you stared up as a look of devotion met your similar expression and you started to move against each other, breaths heavy and identical.

Deep and slow thrusts maintained a measured pace, groans mixing with quiet words of enjoyment as you rolled your hips in unison. Reaching up, you tangled your fingers in jet black locks. "Oh god Levi…ahhh…" Soft tones spilled from your lips, raw and passionate. This wasn't a moment of lewd comments or smutty cries, this was total adoration. 

"(F/N)…yes, oh yes…" A grip took your right hand and placed it down on the pillow, digits laced as the left joined it, foreheads touching as the speed below increased to the noise of more moans of ecstasy. Levi glanced down, watching the writhing woman and growled lowly. "So fucking beautiful…damn…"

Eyes came back up to meet yours and the hold was released, arms sliding under to take you in a strong hug, one which you instantly reciprocated, hands everywhere and pulling him close. The taught body was delicious, feeling his power that today was also gentle. Tongues brushed lightly as mouths came together, small whimpers and whines of delight reverberating in both of your throats. Breaking apart for air, you stared longingly into slits of silver, passion seeping from the almost drugged look in your lover's orbs. "Levi…so good…ahh…" The sound of need in your low voice was nearly enough to break him as the pace picked up and he bit his bottom lip to try and hold back, letting out a muffled yell.

"Let me show you (F/N)…mmm…show you how much I love you…shit…" It wouldn't be long now, the embrace changing as he grabbed your hands again, stretching your arms up over your head and holding on with twined fingers. Noses touched as your man lay above you, clasping tightly in each other's grasp and you stole kisses from him, pushing upwards as every inch of his member sent you crazy with pleasure. 

"Levi…ohh fuck…" The feeling deep inside let you know you were close, build up of sensations ready to burst forth. 

"That's it (F/N)…ah god yea…" He let his grip go, allowing hands to cling to one another once more, waves of euphoria just waiting to wash over your bodies.

Names were called out in between cries of desire, eyes locked as you were tipped over the edge, shouting loudly as shots of electricity ran through you like never before, the strength of your orgasm taking your breath away so all you could manage was a small squeak in the end. Levi came virtually one second after he felt you tighten around him, decadent growls mixed with gasps at the incredible force of his peak, firm thrusts pumping in to his lover as he surrendered to the thrill. Sighs and panted intakes of air were the only noises for a moment, faces buried into each other's necks. He let out a low hum against your flesh and you felt him smirk.

"That was fucking incredible (F/N)."

"Most definitely, Levi." Your voice was ragged and husky, unable to speak properly just yet. Propping up on an elbow, he stared down with soft grey eyes and smoothed your hair, trying to tame the fuzz that was a result of vigorous activity. Smiling, he leant in, small, lazy kisses placed on one another's lips. You remained like that a while, but not too long. Despite the beautiful moment, duty called. Unfortunately, the shower wasn't nearly big enough for both of you so Levi took the first turn, harsh water spilling down as he wore the same dopey smile. You'd stayed in each other's arms longer than usual. Perhaps this was a turning point.

Pulling on fresh clothes, he gestured that you could go in next, kissing you deeply before he allowed you entry to the bathroom. "I'm just going to go pick something up. That thing is fucking powerful, hold on tight." Referring to the pressure from the shower head, he swept out and you skipped off to experience the apparently intense jets. Standing under what could only be described as a massage in liquid form, you glanced up to see the name of the manufacturer. Maybe you could get one installed in your new home? It felt good, muscles unwinding as steam collected in clouds around you. Angling up, you let it fall down your face. Bad idea. You didn't want to lose skin. Shutting it off, you grabbed one of the overly fluffy towels, another sign of the opulence of this place.

Once dried, you got into your jeans and a t-shirt, bracelet back on and you heard a noise. Levi was out on the balcony, wonderfully fresh air drifting through with that scent of salt water, one which made you feel so alive. You saw a metal bucket full of ice and watched your new fiancé pouring champagne into delicate glasses. Hugging him from behind, you smiled and looked up at the stars, sky clear and free of clouds as the man spoke. "I know it's a fucking cliché but to hell with it." He turned into you, passing a drink over, the smile remaining on his lips.

"To us."


	28. New Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one so soon, I know but I needed to get this repost finished. Get ready for some feels.
> 
> Also (D/N) means 'dad's name' XD

Seagulls squaked in their high pitched wails, circling the seaside town that was just beginning to wake up for a new day. Balcony doors were open already, fresh morning air drifting in along with the sound of waves, two people sitting and taking in the view. You'd both stirred early, waking in each other's arms and sharing the moment of peace together. Soon after, you had moved to your current position, enjoying the inimitable atmosphere that came with coastal areas. The seat was like a small bench, allowing you to cuddle up close to watch as a lazy Sunday started to unfold. A knock disturbed your serenity and Levi rose to answer it as you turned to see who it was. Awkward small-talk was held and you saw a bank note passed through the entrance as a small trolley was pushed in.

Leaving the item with the occupants, the hotel worker left with a smile and a wave, door closed quietly. The rattle of plates came closer as pre-ordered breakfast was revealed, selection of pastries, fruit and yogurts displayed expertly on delicate china. A pot of hot water sat to one side and Levi inspected the teas on offer with a critical eye. "Tch." Despite the high-end nature of the place, it appeared that their beverages didn't quite meet certain standards and you looked over. "They've only got fucking bags, no leaves."

"I'm sure we can handle it for one morning."

"Going to fucking have to. I knew I should've brought some." His grumbles were half-hearted though and you joined your lover by the trolley, stomach growling as you scanned the food.

"It all looks so good." Almost dribbling, you started to fill a plate, pair of grey eyes watching the growing mountain of edible delights with amusement. Sitting back down, you grinned and started to ease the empty feeling in your belly, somehow stopping yourself from shovelling.

Pretty much everything had been devoured, both of you pleasantly full but not stuffed. Epic showers under the insanely strong jets had been taken, bag packed and you lingered on the balcony a while, not wanting to say goodbye just yet. "Thank you Levi. For all of this, everything." Embracing, he nuzzled into your neck to breathe in the scent of his favourite soap, one he selected to bring specifically. 

"My pleasure (F/N). So, how does it feel?" Lifting your head, you looked into his gaze and frowned lightly.

"What?"

"Well, you got in a car yesterday morning, no fucking idea where you were going and now you're stood here with the man who will marry you some day."

"It feels amazing. How about you?" Smiling, you ran your fingers over his cheek gently as he looked down with adoration.

"I'm the luckiest fucking man on earth." He kissed you with tenderness, fire lighting in both of your souls. "Let's go take a walk before we have to leave."

~~~~~~

As the gates of home came into view, a faint pang of sorrow clutched at your heart. You missed the ocean already, the cleansing breeze and fresh air now left behind for the muggier climate of the mountains. Hearing tyres on gravel, your father came striding out. He must have been sitting waiting, you thought with a smile and as you exited the car, his wide grin was practically splitting his face in half. "Come here, let me give you a hug!" The man knew from body language that it had been a success, but was also aware that you were smitten with each other; no proposal would be declined. Surprisingly, it was Levi he went for first, treating him to another moment of discomfort as arms wrapped around the smaller male. Slaps on the back were accepted gracefully but you were met by a glare so cold you could make ice cubes under the steely stare. Smirking, you watched the embrace before unexpectedly being pulled sideways into it yourself.

Finally releasing the couple, your father gazed upon you with softness and pride, hugely excited at seeing his daughter betrothed. "Levi, my boy, I have so many things to pass on to you, so many words of wisdom." He led the man away, a flash of grey reaching you as your lover glanced over his shoulder in fear. Rushing in behind them, you heard the older of the two start to relay important life teachings, man to man, things that really were quite ridiculous. The last one before they disappeared into the drawing room was something along the lines of putting your socks on the radiator ten minutes prior to dressing, because that way you got nice, toasty feet.

Shaking your head, you went back out to unload the small amount of luggage from the car, only to be stopped by a figure with brown hair and wild eyes. "What's going on? Why's your dad giving Levi hugs? Tell me (F/N)!" Hange was confused and excited all at the same time, a recipe for an explosion. The men inside heard a sharp scream, knowing instantly what had happened. You'd told your friend. Moving on to the real reason for whisking your fiancé away, your father pulled a small packet from his trouser pocket, passing it across. 

"Levi, you know I said I had something for you but I couldn't remember where I put the damn thing? Well, I found it." Carefully, the pale man opened it to reveal a beautiful and probably antique item. Questioning eyesbrows were raised and the explanation given.

"It was (F/N)'s mother's, the one I gave to her all those years ago when I asked her to make me an honest man. Twice. It was my grandma's before that and I would very much like to keep it in the family." The ring that sat on Levi's palm was exquisite but dainty, perfect for your finger, especially so given the history and your dad continued. "I know it's probably the wrong way round, but I don't mind, do you? To hell with what society says." He was right, it was usually the groom-to-be who supplied a ring from his female ancestors but given how Levi had no idea who or where he came from, that was never going to happen. 

"Are you sure, Sir?" A wave of a hand dismissed any concerns and a warm voice answered. 

"Positive. And cut the 'Sir' crap. Call me (D/N)."

~~~~~~

Monday morning was a whirlwind of nerves and excitement, breakfast picked at with lacklustre. Dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, hair secured back away from your face, you stirred some food around the plate, absent mindedly pushing it about. The feeling of anticipation had dampened your appetite and you were only half listening to Hange chat with glee. "Oh my god, (F/N), you're going to have to let me help you pick a dress! And I can do your make up, of course. Just think, Mrs (F/N) Ackerman! That's going to sound so good, have you practiced your signature yet?"

"Tch."

"C'mon Levi, get in the spirit! You need me too, I can sort your suit out, maybe take some length off that hair?" She hadn't stopped since you told her the news yesterday, probably even dreamt about the distant nuptials. Neither of you were in any particular hurry to get married, there was plenty time for that, but your friend obviously had other plans. "Maybe a summer wedding? Ooh no, autumn! The breeze, the leaves, it's going to be so…"

"Give it a fucking rest, shitty glasses." It was a name used in the most grumpy of moods, one that added gravity to his words. Levi knew you would be worrying about the start of your new job, one he would be driving you to shortly and this incessant twittering was surely not helping. The woman seemed to finally realise and kept quiet, sullenly digging into her own meal. No one else was in the small dining room, another sign of the imminent closure of the household. Two days. In only two days you'd be moving home and a couple after that would be the last time any of you were here. It was both sad and uplifting, a strange combination to deal with and you concentrated on the positive aspects.

"(F/N)? All ready?" A soft voice snapped you out of the stream of thoughts and you smiled weakly at the man with a sigh.

"Guess so. Here goes nothing."

"Leave your plates, honey. I'll get them. Good luck."

"Thanks Hange. See you this afternoon." A strong grip appeared on your hand and your friend grinned up, giving you strength and support. Walking out into the warm morning air, you climbed into the car and shut the door, eyes wider than usual. Levi didn't start the engine and you looked over to see a silver gaze piercing into your soul. 

"You can fucking do this, (F/N). They love you up there, it's going to be fine, I promise."

"What if…"

"None of that shit. I mean it. If you can handle me and everyone in this mad house, you can cope with anything. Now shut the fuck up and let's go." It was said with gentle tones, completely free of any offense and you nodded.

"Right. You're right. I got this."

"Damn fucking straight." Roaring with new life, the vehicle rumbled as Levi revved, letting the large car run for a few seconds before moving. Satisfied with the smooth sound of the motor, he pulled away to deliver his woman to her new place of work.

~~~~~~

"But (F/N), I can't do it, I'm useless."

"No you're not, Eren. Watch. I'll do it slower this time, do what I do." Bright green eyes gazed down intently as he took in all of the folds you made, copying each movement carefully and listening to the instructions with keen ears. Eventually, two small identical birds sat on the table, pieces of paper skilfully turned into the creations. You'd picked a relatively simple origami method and scanned around, a veritable flock on the plastic surface in all different colours that your gathered group had produced. Armin was working on another blue one, frown on his face as he concentrated and you turned to the man by your side.

"See, Eren? You did it!" The biggest grin adorned his features, pride and a sense of achievement combining in a heart lifting expression of wonder.

"I did! Look Armin, I did it! Told you I would." The blonde mumbled something but carried on with his own techniques. The after-lunch activity was a nice sedate one, something that wouldn't create a flurry of excitement to full bellies. It was Tuesday, your second day on the job almost over and you'd loved every minute of the past two shifts. This would be it until Thursday now, your part time hours straddling the working week and allowing the day tomorrow for moving, a thought that made you want to squeal whenever it surfaced. Gebhard had been pleased with your progress, relieved to have some time for him and his nurses to tend to more technical matters as you commanded the attention of every resident you came into contact with.

One of them was notably absent and you frowned as a familiar figure entered the main room. It wasn't time to leave yet, why was he here? Waving over, the brunette to your side doing the same, you were greeted by a raised hand and a small smirk from your fiancé as he walked down the corridor towards Farlan's room, the man being the one missing from the fun at the table. "I wonder what's going on (F/N)? Maybe there's a new mission?"

"Maybe Eren. I don't know what it is, though. What do you think?"

"Not sure, but I'm glad I tidied my room so well today!" Smiling, you patted the hand of the patient who wriggled impatiently in his seat. Sighing, you stood to check on everyone, curiosity eating away at your mind.

Half an hour later, the group was tidying up, little paper animals stored to one side so they could take them back to display. Stashing the tubs of materials away, you glanced over to see the nurses arrive for medication and rest time, the signal that ended your time here once more. Saying goodbye, you gathered your things and hung around by the front door, wondering what was happening close by. Farlan had been fine yesterday, regularly taking his meds too, apparently. Judging by Levi's face when he got here, it wasn't bad news that he was expecting, so that was good at least. Ten more minutes passed, agitation setting in now and you fidgeted, picking at the strap of your bag.

Finally, three men approached wearing joyful expressions, your man's best friend grinning and chatting as they reached you. "Don't take this personally (F/N), but I won't be seeing you so often anymore." The light haired man confused you with his words and you waited for more information. "Well, not here anyway." His final statement clarified things and your eyes widened, mouth pulling up into a smile.

"You mean you're…?"

"Yep. I'm out of this fucking place (F/N)! I've been observed, assessed, poked, prodded, everything bar analy probed and that's it. Free to go!"

"With the caveat that you keep appointments, Farlan." The head nurse wagged a finger in a playful gesture, but meant what he said.

"Yes yes, of course. Now, I've got a couple of days left while paperwork gets sorted and then I'm coming round yours for a beer." He grabbed hold of you, large embrace tight and he laughed, hand squeezing your ass.

"I'm not fucking telling you again, Farlan."

"Aw come on Levi, just a little grope. It's been a while." Giggling, you stepped back out of the grip and smiled.

"That's fantastic news! I'm so happy for you!" Leaving the glaring issue of where he would live out of it for now, you watched as the two friends shared their own manly hug, backs slapped with fervent movements. A few more ecstatic words were had, small conversation ending as Gebhard had to get the ball rolling, sort the official things out and with happy farewells, you left to get in the waiting car. "Levi? I don't want to be that person, but where's Farlan going to go now?"

Engine springing to life, the driver got into gear and slowly pulled out of the grounds. "Your dad's already agreed to take him on as a handy man, gardner, that kind of shit." Disbelief washed over you, not at the situation - it sounded just like your father to do that kind of thing, but when had this been arranged? Sensing the cloud of expectation by his side, the pale man continued. "We had a good fucking chat on Sunday. He knew about Farlan already to some extent and I told him about how he might be out soon." Turning onto the main road, Levi checked the traffic and made for home. "I didn't want to say anything until I knew. It all might have gone tits up." You didn't mind being kept in the dark, it wasn't about you in the slightest. 

"Fucking hell, that's brilliant!" A nod responded to your exclamation and the gates came into view, your last night in this house getting closer.

~~~~~~

"Fucking come on." Levi checked his watch, conscious of the timing of deliveries today and you hadn't even made it out of the building yet. Casting your gaze around, you took in every part of the grand hallway. The staircase that you had to trail down endlessly on silly heeled shoes, the marble steps also reminding you of the accident your dad had suffered. More memories rose up. Standing by the door and dripping wet as you and Levi had run home in a torrential downpour, the night of the power cut, puddles of rain left across the shining floor. Falling from Erwin's shoulders as you tried to arrange the star, only to be caught by your then bodyguard. Jean threatening you during the staff Christmas party. That one could be forgotten, erased from your mind to make room for new recollections.

You'd done this in every place important to you, filling yourself with everything from your time here. Sleeping on Levi in the drawing room before anyone solidly knew of your relationship. Cooking together in the kitchen. Training in the gym. All the places the two of you had been intimate. Sad moments too, like the way you tried to cause yourself harm. Realisation hit and you turned to the impatient figure by the door. "I haven't had any flashbacks since last weekend." Perhaps coming face to face with Uli had done something inside, helped you put it all behind you at last. Walking over, strong arms took you into a tight embrace, kiss placed on your head. 

"Let me know if they come back, but maybe they might leave you the fuck alone now?" Nodding into his hard chest, you hoped so too.

The car had been packed with your belongings, clothes, toiletries, books and Levi's statue. Not much really, but more would be coming soon. "Shit, we're going to be late." Grey eyes rolled as he opened the door. 

"That's what I've been fucking saying, (F/N)." A few people remained and gathered around you to say goodbye. Erwin would pick the vehicle up later, one that was staying with him so he could take your father where he needed to go and he stood with a solemn smile. 

"You two take care, alright?"

"Fuck off you big piece of shit. You're going to be living three streets away."

"True Levi, but don't ruin the moment." A manly handshake was shared, eyes locked as unspoken words were passed between them. "It'll be nice to see Farlan again too. I wonder if he can run as fast as he used to be able to?" Small laughs came from the men, secret past confusing most of the others as the large head of security moved to you, hugging closely. "See you soon, (F/N)." Trying to keep it all together, you smiled and squeaked an affirmative back to the blonde. Stepping away, he remained tight lipped, the emotion of the event affecting him too. Hange came into view, tears running down her face as she clung to your inwardly crumbling form. 

"Oh (F/N), I can't believe it. Don't be a stranger, you hear? I need to see you every day, ok?"

"Really? Fuck sakes."

"And you too, shorty. Even if you are a grumpy bastard, I still love you." In the blink of an eye she was on him, squeezing into his body, much to the disgust of the one on the receiving end.

"Get the fuck off, you freak." Despite his words, Levi actually lifted his arms to reciprocate lightly and you lost it. Crying openly, you cursed the stupid sensitivity that had invaded your brain and put your hand over your face, sobbing deeply into the palm.

"I'm sorry...it's…it's…just…fuck…" Words came out in hitched noises and your dad scooped you up into a cuddle, soothing shushes in your ear.

"I know (F/N), I know. Now listen. This isn't goodbye, it isn't the end. It's just the start. Ok?"

"Ok dad. Ok." Calmed, you sniffed and stood back and watched as he strongly got hold of Levi, whispers exchanged that only they could hear.

"Right. You two get going before I change my mind about this whole retirement thing." Wet eyes met yours and you smiled, the old man lifting the sombre mood. Waving and still not quite in control of yourself, you got into the car and stared out of the back window as the imposing house disappeared round a corner, trees hiding it forever. Over three years of your life had been spent in there, good times and bad, friends and enemies, family and love. Sighing, you looked to Levi. 

"So. Here we go."

"Here we go, (F/N). The first day of the rest of our lives." He gripped your hand tightly, smile on his face as you drove along the straight road that would end at your new home in about five minutes.

~~~~~~

The last van had left, all your furniture now in it's rightful place. It still looked sparse, no pictures or finishing touches like rugs in here yet, but that could come later. Standing in the kitchen, you arranged the pans, some of which you'd pinched from the stores at the manor house, but some were brand new, never used and gleaming. Something bothered you though. Something was missing. "Bollocks." Levi joined you, hearing your utterance and wondering what was wrong. "We forgot to buy fucking plates." He blinked once and remained still for a moment, then started laughing, hearty and deep. Gathering keys, he tilted his head towards the door.

There were stores in town that sold that kind of thing so you took advantage of still having the car, first trip out already. You hadn't thought it would be this soon that you were leaving the new building, but then you hadn't accounted for the shoddy planning. When the short journey was nearly over, you glanced out of the window and saw a warming yet also aggravating sight; Jean and Marco, hand in hand as they strolled down the busy street, faces bright and happy. Letting out a small huff, you shook your head. Everyone seemed to be getting happy endings right now.

~~~~~~

The fire was lit, television on low. Wine had been poured and two people sat on the sofa, cuddled up and contented as the long day started to drift from your aching bodies. "(F/N)?"

"Mmm hmm?"

"Sit up. I need to give you something." Complying, you straightened with difficulty and waited as Levi dug in his pocket, bringing out an item wrapped in protective tissue. "Now, this might sound a bit fucking weird, but I think it's perfect." Holding up the ring, he explained how your father had given it to him and the history behind it. Recognising the piece of jewellery, your eyes widened as it was brought forwards, your hand in his pale one, silver gaze connected with a (e/c) one. "So, properly this time. (F/N) - will you marry me?" The tears from earlier threatened to fall again and you grinned, nodding fervently. 

"Yes Levi, fucking yes." Slipping the ring on your finger, he shook his head and smiled lightly. 

"Thank fuck you didn't change your mind."

That night you made sure to make the most of the new found privacy, probably already alienating yourselves from those living next door but neither of you cared.

~~~~~~

"See? I told you we'd be doing this again."

"Yes (F/N), but I didn't think it would be seven months later. Couldn't you have had a party or something? Why did I have to wait?"

"Hange, don't knock it. Just enjoy yourself." Smiling, you watched your friend fussing over your hair, her reflection in the ornate mirror shining back at you. Gently, she secured (h/c) locks and added her favourite clips that would give some sparkle and stepped back, scrutinizing her efforts and she grinned. Shifting round, she started on the make up, keeping it simple at your request. Light eye shadow and a small amount of peachy tint on your cheekbones were applied, a mascara brush flicked deftly through your lashes. A similar colour that sat on your cheeks was swept across your lips, accentuating your features. Satisfied, Hange moved to the side and clapped her hands together.

"Done! Now the fun part. Let's get that dress on you." Stepping in carefully, the fabric was pulled up slowly and the buttons secured, ties tightened with a grunt. "Too much?" Shaking your head, you let her know it was fine, you could still breathe just about and spun. Gasping at the sight, the other woman clouded over and tilted her head. "Wow. Just wow. Look at you, (F/N)! Twirl again!" Obeying with a laugh, you did just that and she sighed, picking up the glasses of champagne that sat on the wooden table and passing one to you. "Can I do it?" You nodded and both friends drank down the remainder of the liquid and you got into position for her. "Go get 'em." Slapping your ass, she giggled and adjusted her own outfit in the mirror as a knock sounded on the door.

"Ready ladies?" Your dad's suit was immaculate, hair tamed and face clean shaven, wide smile on his face as he looked his daughter up and down. Hange gave you something and linked arms, the man doing the same on the other side as you walked down the corridor, plush carpets a deep wine red colour. It was a lovely hotel, one just outside town and chosen for today's gathering. The staircase was thankfully also softly upholstered and you sidestepped to descend, dress allowing only small paces. Relevant door reached, you took a huge breath and gave a shaky laugh, hands clammy and trembling, heart pounding against your ribcage. 

"Right. Let's do it."

Hange went first, her gorgeous dress flowing as she took a measured pace into the room. Following behind, still arm in arm were you and your father, keeping in step as a crowd of faces swam into view. Some were the retired man's friends but most you recognised. The more familiar ones made you smile, eyes darting over the people here that stared across with equally happy expressions - Erwin, Mike and Bertolt stood together, dressed smartly and in dark fabric. Farlan was next, cheeky grin in place as he wiggled his brows, the blonde hair of Annie shining out beside him. Soul swelling with love, you took note of the other group that had come along, all wearing unusually dapper gear. The open and friendly features of Armin and Eren shone out, flanked by your co-workers, Gebhard nodding in appreciation. A pair of golden eyes twinkled as they shot you a wink, Dot's warm smile meeting your stare.

And then came the main event. Hange peeled off to the side, taking her place and you were finally graced with the sight that made you almost cry. Levi stood at the front, suit flawless and perfectly fitting, flower in his lapel that matched the one your dad wore, similar blooms in the bouquet you carried. The look on his face was soft and full of adoration, eyes gentle but flashing. He couldn't believe it. Here he was, standing waiting for the woman he loved to be handed over in a show of acceptance once again, but this time it meant so much more. This was a day that he never would have thought possible just over a year ago, but it was happening, as real as the air he breathed and the thumping in his chest.

Looking upon you with raw emotion, he studied your form, the way the dress sat beautifully on your body and the familiar passion in your (e/c) orbs. You kissed your dad on the cheek and he returned the gesture, passing your hand to Levi with a nod. All the two of you could manage was to stand and stare, mouths slightly open in equal wonder. It had finally arrived. The registrar began to speak, addressing those in the room and inviting them to sit. Only a few words filtered through as Hange took your flowers, the couple surrounded by their own little bubble of euphoria. A throat clearing alerted you to the fact that something must have been said to you and the audience laughed good naturedly. "Sorry, could you say that again please?" Never breaking that eye contact, you spoke to the man in charge and he complied.

Repeating what you were told, you both gave the standard vows, not ones that you had created; anything personal you wanted to confess would be delivered in private, already had been, always would be. Rings exchanged at the right time, you neared the end of the small ceremony, sniffs coming from a few of those seated and the authorised official raised his voice. "Please, could everybody stand." Rustling clothes and shifts of chairs told you they had done so, the couple's gazes still trained on one another as the man concluded. "It gives me great pleasure to introduce to you all, for the first time, Mr and Mrs Ackerman. Husband and wife from this day forth. Levi? You may now kiss the bride."

Closing the gap between you, two bodies pressed together, lips smiling and noses touching as arms held tight. Nudging in, you instigated it, a big 'fuck you' to tradition as mouths connected with care, small and tender pecks shared to the uproarious applause and whistles from those in attendance. Pulling back, you raised your brows and winked slowly, seductively. Levi honestly thought he wouldn't be able to stop himself from picking you up there and then and sweeping you away to the suite you would stay in tonight. You saw the look on his face and laughed, glee at the fact you two were now married combined with the way you knew his expressions so well. "Tch. So annoying." You grinned, his own larger than usual smile firmly in place. You'd done it. Together, forever.

Once the formalities were concluded, the wedding party had moved to an adjoining room and a simple yet tasty meal had been had. No stuffy speeches, no uncomfortable stories, another nod to the newly wed's dislike for public outpourings. Also, it was much more fun to sit and chat without being delayed by the expected occurrences. Music was playing now, one of your dad's favourite old faithfuls blaring from the speakers and bodies danced with joy, drinks flowing freely. The evening had gone by in a flash, people wanting to talk to the happy couple constantly and give their well wishes. Armin and Eren had returned home earlier, tight hugs for you and the strange salute to Levi. The brunette had even got his friend doing it now, something that made a twitch of a smirk appear on your husband's lips.

Taking an opportunity, you both slipped outside into the courtyard for a rare moment alone, kissing gently. "Fuck me, it's unbearable how many hands I've shaken today."

"That's true. But Levi?"

"Mmm?"

"You haven't used your sanitizer once." He frowned. It hadn't even entered his head to do so. Until now. However, the need to take out a bottle was dampened, habit forgotten. Smiling, he trailed his eyes down your figure as he leant backwards in the embrace, the gorgeous dress clinging to all the right places.

"You look fucking amazing, (F/N)."

"Thank you. And might I say you're make a very handsome groom."

"Of course I do. Black's my fucking colour."

"I liked that red shirt you wore once, too."

"It was awful."

"No it wasn't. Very sexy."

"Shut up, (F/N)."

"No."

~~~~~~

Just over two years had passed since the wedding and Levi pulled the handbrake on, securing the car outside your home. Helping you out, he watched as his wife carefully bent in to retrieve something, smiling softly. Going first, he opened the front door and raised a finger to his lips. Six pairs of expectant eyes stared at him, gathered crowd waiting impatiently but staying silent. Inside the living room were your father, Hange and Erwin, joined by Farlan, Mike and Bertolt, all eager and chomping at the bit. Levi faced you, a look of pride and admiration on his features as he shared a smile with his woman, leaning in to take what you held. He wanted to be the one to do this.

Gasps and sighs sounded out as the raven haired male turned. In the crook of his left arm was a tiny human, his newborn daughter cuddling into him as she slept peacefully, small snuffles coming from the serene form. Everyone gazed over as the often offensive and usually grumpy man looked down with visible love, face enraptured while he stroked the miniscule cheek of the most wonderful gift you could ever have given him. Finally able to wrench his eyes from the beautiful being, he smiled at the visitors. "Everyone? This is Kira." Speaking softly, he walked closer, reaching your dad first. Tears welled up in the old man, spilling down his face with pure adoration.

Levi shifted to pass his baby girl over to meet her grandad, mumbling about how to hold correctly, support the head, be gentle. Fussing around, he was eventually satisfied that the precious cargo was secure and watched his father-in-law whisper greetings and nonsense words to someone who couldn't understand it all right now. The others scurried round, all grinning and cooing over the new arrival. Farlan looked up and took his friend into a strong hug, slapping his back. "Who would have thought you could be part of something so fucking innocent?!" He kept it hushed but playful, large body enveloping that of the smaller man.

"My turn, my turn!" Hange maintained the low volume in the room and Levi was over in a flash, hands held out in a protective stance, ready to catch or provide assistance as the exchange took place. 

"Careful, fuck sakes." Grumbling, he was graced with a scowl from the woman who was bouncing up and down with small movements, shushing noises given to the already asleep infant. It was human nature to do it, though. She looked down, eyes wet and a wide smile on her face now. 

"I'm your auntie Hange, yes I am, wess I waaaam!" Silly voices were apparently part of her genetics too, it seemed and she lavished attention to the newest member of the extended family.

As Levi supervised the next swap, you saw how huge Erwin really was when polarised by your daughter's size. Your dad appeared suddenly, hugging you tight. "Congratulations my dear, she's amazing (F/N). Just like her mum." Gripping back onto him, you smiled as he continued with a sterner tone. "How are you? Doing better?" He stepped back and held your shoulders, searching your expression for any sign of distress. 

"I'm ok, thanks dad. Honest." You'd actually given birth four days ago but complications had meant you had only just got out of hospital. Kira was fine, thank god, perfect delivery from that point of view. You, however, hadn't been so fortunate.

Ridiculously high blood pressure had sparked something of a panic amongst the midwives and before you knew it, machines and medication tubes were attached to your body in the middle of labour. Close monitoring took place, people poking and prodding the whole time to track your health. Levi had remained calm, a rock to you in the fraught situation, no sign of the internal distress he was going through. The only way to start returning you to normal was to have your baby, luckily something that was already underway just one week before your scheduled due date.

The stay in hospital had been awful - you'd had no sleep because of the constant trail of nurses and medicine, tests and checks. Kira had been woeful too, crying and wretched; nothing you did helped until someone put two and two together, surely a conclusion that should have been made before day three of your daughter's life. The tablets you were given to settle your blood pressure did something to your ability to breast feed, your production stunted. Your little girl was hungry, starved probably and as soon as you got some manufactured milk in her, she became a totally different baby.

Levi had been furious, unable to fathom how no one had thought to read the side effects of the medication and despite half-hearted warnings, you had discharged yourself this morning. Being in that place had probably raised your blood pressure even more and anyway, you could take the pills at home and a nurse would be round every day to check on the patient. You'd been firm on another thing - no visitors, apart from your husband, obviously. It wasn't a cheerful time. You wanted to introduce your child somewhere other than that sterile room. And here you were, finally able to do so.

Happy that the next trade had been carried out successfully, Levi joined you, arm around your shoulders and he pulled you close as you cuddled in tight. "Erm, I think we have a code brown, guys." Poor Mike. It would be the one with the most sensitive nose that was holding her when that happened. 

"I got it." Walking over, you took the fragile figure in your arms and slowly made the trip upstairs. Your man stood at the bottom, smiling as he heard you singing softly, trying to ease the discomfort that was a nappy change, small bleats of the crying baby disappearing as soothing sounds reached her ears.

Now she was awake, when you brought the clean bundle back down she gazed up with wonder into the loving faces of her parents, tiny hands clenching and relaxing as your baby got used to her own movements. Another person appeared, one with glasses. "Oh my god!" Your daughter's features were a perfect mix of the couple who made her, but the eyes were most certainly from her father. Smiling at Hange's exclamation, you looked up at the similar orbs, silver flashes meeting your stare. Levi moved to stand behind you, arms around your waist and chin resting on your shoulder so he could still see his girl.

"Let's give them some space, everyone." Hange squealed with disappointment at your dad's order as he continued. "We can come back tomorrow to see them. Come on." Grudgingly, she complied and you waved the guests off, door closing quietly. Standing together in the now quiet house, the two of you stared down at the person you had created. You laughed nervously and spoke in a whisper. 

"So, what next?" The enormity of the situation had dawned. You were someone's mother.

"We just carry on, only there's three of us now." Leading you over to the sofa, he sat down and gestured for his daughter. Placing her in your husband's right arm, you snuggled up in his left, hugging him tight across the waist. Both people were hypnotized, eyes on the miniature version of themselves as Kira drifted off again. "Absolutely perfect, isn't she?" Levi received a hum in reply and he kissed your forehead. "Thank you, (F/N). I'm so fucking proud of you. You're amazing, you know that?" No response was given this time and he tilted his head, looking down at where your cheek lay on his shoulder, fast asleep. Smiling, he thought to himself how totally exhausted you must be, a well deserved cat nap being just what was needed.

Switching his gaze between the two, he sighed. Levi had his two girls in his arms, both laying peacefully on him, the man who would do everything humanly possible to protect his family. Swallowing deeply at the lump in his throat, he made no effort to hold back the tears that fell. This was what happiness felt like. This was peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it! Hope you enjoyed the read, it's been fun to redo this and have a nice happy ending. Thanks to everyone for reading and the kudos and comments! Much love.


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